The Third Year
by ThatOneAnimagus
Summary: After finally running Dolores Umbridge out of Hogwarts, the Marauders are back for their third year. Between mischief, hexing Snivellus, homework, the Daily Prophet, and prank wars, Hogwarts is in for some chaos. Now complete!
1. Back To Hogwarts

Platform 9¾ was crowded. Witches and wizards filled each corner of the station.

Among them were four boys.

James was anxious to board the scarlet engine that sat on the rails.

Sirius was already halfway to the train; He had left his parents as quickly as he could.

Remus was in the midst of promising his parents that he would write, stay out of trouble, and as always, keep his secret.

Peter was being reminded that he couldn't spend all of savings on sweets.

As all of this was occurring, the Hogwarts Express gave a puff of grey smoke and a piercing whistle.

James, Remus, and Peter gave their parents quick goodbyes and rushed to the train.

At exactly eleven o'clock, the Hogwarts Express began to inch forward, gaining speed until it was barreling out of Platform 9¾ at breakneck speed.

The last compartment on the train was the Marauders' compartment. That was where the four met up. Its muddy brown cushions and hanging lamp were incredibly familiar to them now.

Sirius was the first in the compartment. He threw his trunk on the overhead shelf and began to wait for the others.

It didn't take long.

Remus came in only minutes after Sirius had arrived, followed shortly by James and Peter.

"Hey!" James greeted them. "Third year!"

"Yeah, it's going to be brilliant," Sirius said excitedly.

"Yeah. We can spend the whole year on pranks, no Umbridge to worry about," James said happily.

"We still have to pass our classes," Remus pointed out. "Minnie won't be happy if we fail."

"And it'll be good to see Minnie," Sirius said. "She's had all summer to rethink her denial, she'll definitely say yes."

Remus snorted. "Good luck with that."

"Thanks, mate. Glad you believe in me."

"Anytime."

"Guess what else is this year?" Peter said. "Hogsmeade!"

"Yeah, but we've already been there," Sirius said.

"Not Three Broomsticks," Peter said.

"Good point."

"We'll be able to go without breaking any rules," Remus said.

"You guys will," Sirius said, "My mum didn't sign the permission form, so it's a good thing we know about that statue."

"Why didn't she sign it?" James asked.

"'Filth of the Earth, blood traitor, disgrace to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black,'" Sirius said in a loud, mocking voice. "Honestly, she's terrible. Getting even worse. She's terrified Regulus is going to join me in Gryffindor."

"Regulus?" Peter asked. "I thought you said he was the favorite."

"He is," Sirius said. "But it would be inconceivable if both Black brothers ended up in Slytherin's rival house. My mum wants to keep at least some of our family reputation."

The conversation slowly moved from Hogsmeade and pranking to the new D.A.D.A teacher.

"Who do you think it'll be?" Remus asked.

"I dunno, hopefully not another toad," Sirius said. "I swear, if we get another teacher that uses those quills, I'm going to make them eat those bloody things."

"I don't think Minnie would let Dumbledore hire someone like that again," Remus said.

"Probably not," James agreed.

Their conversation was interrupted by the expected call of "Anything from the trolley, dears?"

The Marauders grinned. This was one of the best parts of the ride.

Inside the compartment, Peter stood his trunk up like a table while James went to get some wizarding sweets.

"Three Bertie Botts, four pumpkin pasties, and a few chocolate frogs," James told the witch, passing over some money.

The witch nodded and gave him the sweets.

James disappeared back into the compartment.

The boys spread the beans over the trunk so they could see all the colors. Then the game began.

"Peter, try the speckled one there," Remus said.

Peter picked it up and took a nibble off of it. "Coffee, I think. James, try that red one on the edge."

James popped the bean in his mouth. "Cinnamon. Sirius, you have that navy purple one."

"Only if you have the green one." Sirius grabbed the navy bean. "This one is blackberry, by the way."

"This one's terrible, it tastes like lime, you know I hate lime."

"Well, you'll be putting up with the taste loads this year," Sirius said casually.

"Yeah, good point. We'll need to replenish our supply, I threw mine away when we left."

"You won't be replenishing anything until you've read through that entire book," Remus insisted. "I don't want to let you take those sorts of risks on my account, but if you're going to anyway, you at least have to know what you're doing."

James gave him a small grin. "Lighten up, we'll do that when we get the book back. Here, try that pink one in the left corner."

The train ride went smoothly. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. The rolling Scottish hills enveloped the Hogwarts Express for most of the ride, until the large looming mountains that surrounded Hogwarts came into view.

"Almost there," Peter noted.

The sky had darkened to a color not unlike the navy purple bean Sirius had eaten when the Hogwarts Express pulled into the station.

The Marauders joined the flood of people that were leaving the train. The first years followed the call of, "Firs' years this way!" while everyone second year and above rushed to get a carriage to themselves.

The carriages were wooden, rickety, and the inside smelled thickly of must. They were not drawn by a horse, but by what appeared to be thin air.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter managed to clamber into a carriage by themselves. It jolted toward and began wheeling its way up the worn, dirt path.

The spires of Hogwarts rose in the distance, the lights from the castle gave a warm, welcoming glow. Despite the fact that the boys had seen Hogwarts many times before, its magnificence gave them a second of pause.

"It's good to be back," James said after a moment of silence.

"It's good to be home," Sirius said.

The students that had come in the carriages were ushered into the Great Hall, where like clockwork, they settled into their house tables.

"Right there," Remus said, pointing towards the staff table. "That'll be out new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

"Him? Dunno, looks like a good hex could finish him off," James said doubtfully.

"Well, all the other teachers are the same," Peter said.

"Yeah, he'll be D.A.D.A," Sirius said.

The hall quieted as its doors reopened.

Minerva McGonagall led the new students through the center of the room to where a small, three legged stool sat. Upon the stool was a pointed wizards hat, that was practically ancient.

Sirius winked at her as she passed the Marauders.

To his dismay, she did not wink back.

When the first years had made their way to the front of the room, the hat opened at its brim like a mouth and began to sing.

" _You will never find_

 _A smarter hat than me._

 _I will look inside your head_

 _And place you where you ought to be._

 _Perhaps you shall be Gryffindor,_

 _With the chivalrous and brave._

 _Perhaps you'll be in Ravenclaw,_

 _Where the witty and wise lay._

 _If you don't fit, worry not, Hufflepuff might be the place for you._

 _With loyalty at it's finest, you will never go askew._

 _Or you could be in Slytherin,_

 _Where cunning and ambition are prized._

 _Whatever House you happen to be_

 _I'll put you where you fit._

 _Just put me on and you'll be sure_

 _You've found the Sorting Hat."_

The Hall filled with polite applause until McGonagall shot a stern look around the room; The actual sorting had yet to begin.

"When I call your name," McGonagall said, holding up the tattered leather hat, "I will place the Sorting Hat upon your head and it will sort you into your houses. Adams, David."

A small, thin boy stumbled up to the stool.

The Hat gave a minute of consideration before shouting, " _RAVENCLAW_!"

'Adams, David' made his way to the applauding Ravenclaw Table.

"Allenbach, Simone."

A girl with flaming red hair took her place on the stool.

" _HUFFLEPUFF_!" the Hat called.

The Hufflepuff Table cheered as 'Allenbach, Simone' sat down.

"Black, Regulus."

The Marauders shared a look.

The Great Hall began to whisper. This boy's older brother had broken the tradition of Slytherin- would this boy do the same?

McGonagall silenced the room with her piercing gaze.

Regulus slowly walked towards the stool. He sat and McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on him.

The Great Hall grew silent with anticipation.

The Hat took a minute and a half to decide. "SLYTHERIN!"

Regulus made his way to the cheering Slytherins, glancing back over his shoulder.

Sirius gave him a small smile.

Regulus nodded and took a seat.

"Sorry he's not here, mate," James said.

"It's alright," Sirius said. "This way he won't have to deal with anything at home, and anyway, the Hat hesitated. He's not too far gone."

The Sorting Ceremony continued without any problems. At last, Dumbledore stood to make his start-of-term speech.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," Dumbledore said. "Welcome back, many of you. There are just a few start of term reminders and announcements I'd like to make. First off, the Dark Forest, or, as some of you call it, the Forbidden Forest is, hence the name, forbidden. Secondly, a new rule has been put in place regarding the use of magical creatures at Hogwarts. I trust many of you remember April Fools Day last year, when our former Professor Umbridge was bombarded by nifflers, which later got loose in Hogwarts. Along with this, a number of Ashwinders set fire to her office. Due to these incidents, the use magical creatures will be confined to our Care of Magical Creatures class."

The Marauders glanced at each other and simultaneously grinned and huffed. Those had been some of their more elaborate pranks, all part of their plan to get Umbridge out of Hogwarts. However, the fact that they couldn't use magical creatures in their pranks took out a number of options.

"I was also asked by our caretaker, Mr. Filch, to remind you that the use of magic, dungbombs, fanged frisbees, along with a number of other things, are not to be used in the corridors. The full list can be found on his office door," Dumbledore said, "Finally, I would like to introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor August Melior."

The Great Hall politely applauded.

"And now, the feast."

The platters in the center of the tables filled with food and the hall erupted in chatter.

"Good, I'm starving," Peter said.

"You're usually starving," Sirius said. "But so am I, so I don't blame you. Pass the chicken."

"Here." James gave Sirius the plate of chicken.

"It's been way too long since I've had this chicken," Sirius said.

"It's only been a few months," Remus said.

"Yeah. Way too long to go without this chicken."

The Feast lasted for another hour before the food disappeared from their plates and Dumbledore requested that the Prefects lead students to their dormitories.

The walk to Gryffindor Tower did seem as long as it usually did. They were there within ten minutes, hurrying up the stairs to their dormitory.

The four poster beds were almost exactly as they had left them. The maroon quilts and matching curtains had had the wrinkles ironed out, but other than that, it was the same.

"Well," Remus said, grinning, "We're back."


	2. The First Day

The boys were given their new schedules at breakfast the next morning.

"History of Magic, Transfiguration, Potions, Lunch, Charms, D.A.D.A, and Care of Magical Creatures," Sirius read. "We'll be in class for a whole extra hour! Why can't we drop History of Magic? It's useless!"

"Well, it's required," James said. "Unfortunately. The best part is, though, it's a free period to do any homework before any of our other classes."

They ate a quick breakfast and made their way to the classroom in which History of Magic took place.

If you were to ask any Hogwarts student what the most boring class was, most of them would answer with History of Magic.

This was why Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus took the liberty of beginning to plan their first prank of the new school year.

"It's too bad we can't use magical creatures, we could have filled one of the classrooms with water and let merpeople in as guests," Sirius said.

"They wouldn't come anyway, did you even read Fantastic Beasts?" Remus asked. "It's the required book for Care of Magical Creatures."

"Whatever. The main thing is, we need a prank."

"Dumbledore said that Filch doesn't like fanged frisbees?" Peter said.

James grinned. "I don't think that he does."

The next hour, in Transfiguration, Sirius took a full five minutes out of the lesson.

"Minnie, dear, it's so good to see you! You said you'd write, I never got your letters! How was your summer?"

When this went on for more than a minute, McGonagall cut him off.

"Mr. Black, I'm glad that you're back, but we can talk later. There's a lesson to start," she said, though she was lacking some of her sternness.

"Of course, Minnie," Sirius said. He promptly took a seat, waiting for her to start the lesson.

As with the previous year, Gryffindor had Potions with the Slytherins.

"Snivellus," James greeted Snape, a pale boy with oily hair.

"Potter, Black," Snape hissed. "And Lupin and Pettigrew."

"Hope your holidays were alright?" Sirius said.

"They were fine. How were yours?"

"Quite nice, actually. We went to Yorkshire, found this really nice shampoo place, actually. I was going to bring you back some samples, but," James shrugged. "Slipped my mind, I guess."

Before Snape could give a retort, Slughorn, the Potions professor, called, "Boys, please find your seats, you can discuss the holidays later."

After Potions, they headed to lunch.

"Yes! They have those noodles with the cheese sauce," Peter said happily.

"I think the last time they had those was at the food fight," Remus noted.

"That was brilliant," Sirius said with a grin.

"It was," James agreed.

"We should do that again," Sirius said.

"No," Peter said. "It's a waste of food."

"Waste of food? Come on, we can always get more from the kitchens."

"Yeah, but but it's not as long of a walk to get here."

"Who cares how long the walk is?"

"Me, the less time it takes to find the food, the more time I have to eat the food."

When they had finished lunch, they made their way to Charms.

Flitwick wasted no time getting them started on reviewing what they had learned in their previous two years.

Their next class was Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Curiously, the class took their seats, waiting for Melior to appear.

"Wonder what he'll be like," James remarked.

"He should be alright," Remus said. "I mean, he can't be worse than Umbridge."

"He could," Sirius said. "We're just hoping he's not. What was his name again?"

A languid voice from the back of the room startled them. "Good afternoon, class."

The class whipped their heads around as Melior entered the classroom.

Melior was long and lanky, but not in an awkward way. He had a young face with pale amber eyes. His hair was a rich, earthy brown, and he gave a strong impression of dominance.

The boys glanced at each other. He had been much less intimidating from across the room at dinner the previous night.

"I will be your teacher in Defense Against the Dark Arts this year," Melior said, striding to the front of the room. "Being able to defend yourself against the Dark Arts is a vital skill as a witch or wizard. In this class, you will be learning how to do just that."

"He's taking this really seriously," James whispered.

"He's not, I wouldn't ever act like this," Sirius muttered back.

"You know what I mean."

"It's only been a day back and he's already made the pun," Peter moaned.

"There's a lesson going on!" Remus reminded them.

In the front of the classroom, Melior was briefing the class on his background. "-from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. During my travels, I've come across many dark forces and I'm here to pass down my experience to you." He gave a severe look to the class.

When the lesson was over, Gryffindor House had a lot to say about the new professor.

"He seems pretty experienced," Remus said.

"Yeah, but he doesn't have a real sense of humor, does he?" Sirius said. "Straight face the whole time."

"He's not being paid to crack jokes, though," Remus said.

"Neither are we, but we do it anyway," James pointed out.

The Marauders had Care of Magical Creatures next.

"Where are we supposed to go?" Peter asked.

"I'm not sure, it just said on the grounds," Remus said.

"We should hurry, that way if we're in the wrong place we won't be late," James suggested.

The Care of Magical Creatures class met by the edge of the Forbidden Forest, not terribly far from the gamekeeper's hut. A warm, gentle breeze blew through the grounds, making it the perfect day for the class.

"I don't see any magical creatures," Sirius commented when they found the class.

"It's the first day, I'm sure we'll just be going through our books," Lily, a redheaded girl said.

"Evans. You're in this class?" James asked.

"Of course I am, Potter. Why else would I be here?" Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"Perhaps to reconsider?" Sirius said, smirking. "You did turn down James' offer last year, you've had all summer to change your mind-"

"Sod off, Black," Lily said, her voice gaining a sharp tone, "Remember that now that Umbridge is gone, I can tell people who the Marauders _really_ are."

Sirius went quiet after that.

Then the lesson began.

Kettleburn, their teacher for that class, was an older man with silver, frizzy hair and a few missing limbs. He was incredibly enthusiastic about the class, making the first class rather enjoyable.

"Transfiguration is still my favorite class," James decided at dinner. "How about you three?"

"Dunno what I think about what's-his-name from D.A.D.A, so I'll have to go with History of Magic, because we did absolutely nothing," Sirius said.

"You said you hated that class this morning," Remus said.

"I like the sitting around part. How it has nothing to do with learning. It's an excellent time to plan things."

"The D.A.D.A guy's last name is Melior," Peter said him, "and I liked Charms."

"They're all good, I think," Remus said, "but I have to agree, History of Magic isn't the best."

With that, first day back to Hogwarts was over. The Marauders' third year had officially begun.


	3. The First Prank

"Today we'll be learning how to make an aging potion," Slughorn said. "This time, we'll be combining groups, four people to a station, as this is a more complex potion. The directions can be found on page 180. Please have a sample done by the end of class, we will be testing them for a grade."

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter opened the textbook, flipping through the pages until they had found what they needed.

"We're making this? It's only the second day back!" Sirius moaned. "We don't even know what this does!"

"It ages you, it's in the name," James said. "Here, I'm going to grab the mummy dust and crushed hourglass."

"Alright, I'll get the cauldron set up," Peter offered.

"I'll read through the directions, that'll be useful," Remus said.

"Why, so we get a good grade? Honestly, if we fail it's not our fault, he's pulling this on us on the _second day back_ ," Sirius said.

"I'm trying to get it right because one of us is going to be _testing_ this. I personally don't want to be turned into a rotting corpse," Remus said.

"We're _testing this?_ "

"Yeah, Slughorn mentioned that."

"When?"

"Right at the end."

"So when I stopped listening."

"Probably."

By the end of class, the potions were ready to test.

"Mr. Snape, Mr. Rosier, Ms. Evans, and Mr. Macnair, you four first," Slughorn said. "Which one of you wants to test it?"

"I'll try it," Lily offered. She grabbed a clean vial.

"You don't need much, just a bit… yes, that'll suffice."

Lily swallowed the potion in a single gulp, gagging.

The transformation was seamless; Some of the color drained from her hair, her skin wrinkled the slightest bit, and her green eyes became even more prominent.

"Bloody hell," Sirius said. "Evans ages nicely."

"Sod off, Black!" Lily told him, her voice more full and powerful.

"She got scarier, too."

"I swear, Black, if you-"

"Very good, Ms. Evans, very good indeed. Well done to you three, too," Slughorn interrupted. "How about Ms. Mckinnon, Mr. Prewett, Mr. Prewett, and you there, what's your name?"

"It's Alice," Alice said with a sigh.

"Yes, of course. Who wants to test it?"

"Professor? You've got an antidote for this, right?" Lily asked.

"Of course, Ms. Evans, right on my desk, it's the blue one."

"I'll do it," Marlene said. She grabbed another clean vial and filled it with her potion. Then, she popped it in her mouth.

Like with Lily, her hair lost some of its color, becoming a light, oaken brown. Her skin wrinkled and she began to shrink slightly.

"Very good, though you did grab a bit much," Slughorn said. "Ms. Evans, why don't you pass her the antidote before she goes too far forward…. Mr. Black, Mr. Pettigrew, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Potter, you'll be going next."

"I'm not doing it," Peter said.

"I can do it, if no one wants to," James offered.

"All yours, mate," Sirius said, passing him a vial and stepping back.

James took a small bit of the potion and downed it.

His hair turned a dark silvery color and his skin became slightly wrinkled.

"You age well, too," Sirius remarked. "Change your mind yet, Evans?"

"I thought I told you to sod off!" Lily grumbled.

Slughorn nodded. "Not bad, boys, not bad at all…. You four in the back corner, you're next."

Surprisingly, most of the aging potions turned out alright. One of the few that did not was most of what the Gryffindors talked about at lunch.

"-had to go to the Hospital Wing," Fabian Prewett was saying.

"You think Pomfrey'll be able to fix her? I'm betting she's on her way to St. Mungo's now."

"Well, that was certainly interesting," Sirius said.

"Interesting? She turned into a three year old!" Remus said. "That's not exactly interesting, that's chaotic, and not good, especially if Slughorn's antidote didn't work."

"You know what would be interesting," Peter said, "If that happened to the whole school."

James grinned. "That's brilliant."

"We aren't turning everyone into toddlers," Remus said.

"What about turning everyone into old people?" Sirius said. "I think it's about time the Marauders do something."

"We already had something planned," Remus pointed out.

"Then let's reschedule it. We can do that prank in a few weeks, do this now while we know how to do the aging potion," Sirius reasoned.

"Slughorn's here at lunch, we can get the ingredients," James said quietly.

Remus hesitated.

"Come on, Moony, it'll be fun," Sirius urged.

There was another second of silence before Remus gave in. "Alright," he said, lips twitching upwards into the ghost of a smile, "but we can't get caught, _or_ mess anyone up permanently."

"Let's go," Peter said.

The Marauders made three batches of the potion in the next two days. They also made a few batches of the antidote, which they tested.

Fortunately, there were no problems.

That Saturday, the Marauders snuck down to the Kitchens and slipped the potion into the ready-to-be-served drinks.

Dinner was quite eventful.

It was normal until a Hufflepuff decided to take a swig of pumpkin juice.

Before anyone could catch onto what had happened, most of the Great Hall had drunk the concealed aging potion.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter shared grins.

"It worked," James said lightly.

"We aren't done," Sirius said. Discreetly, he pulled out his wand and shot a small, blue jet of light towards the starry ceiling, which spelled out the message:

 _This night was brought to you courtesy of the Marauders_.

When the Hall noticed the message, there were a number of shouts.

"The Marauders!"

"I thought they were gone!"

"Of course it was them, if I find out who they are, I'm going to shove my wand up their-"

"Potter! Black! Lupin! Pettigrew!"

"Oh no," Remus said. He made to leave the Great Hall but was stopped by a livid, much older Lily Evans.

"Don't even think about it," Lily seethed. "Making people fall through stairs last year enough. Do you have any common sense? Do you have any limits?"

"Actually, there is a bit of common sense that goes into this," Sirius said. "As for limits, not really-"

Lily took this as an opportunity to force some pumpkin juice down his throat.

"Evans!" Sirius shouted, but the damage was done. He was now a sixty year old man.

"Run," James said. He didn't get very far before pumpkin juice was poured down his throat.

Lily then turned her attention to Remus and Peter.

"Oi! You two!" Sirius said. "Initiate Escape Plan 2463 with sequences 9B, 3X, 7K, and 3H in the order of 29043514-"

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Lily demanded.

Sirius smirked. "I'm not doing anything. Remus and Peter, however, are escaping."

It was true. While Sirius had been talking the others had begun running for the doors.

Lily glowered at him. Before she could say anything, however, James and Sirius were confronted by an ancient Minerva McGonagall.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black," McGonagall said. "I trust that you have an antidote for this?"

Sirius grinned instead of answering. "Why, Minnie, I do believe that we've grown old together!"  
"Mr. Black, do you have an antidote?"

"Yes, Minnie. Hypothetically of course."

"If you could hypothetically take that up to the Hospital Wing for Madame Pomfrey to administer to yourselves and the rest of the school, that would be appreciated."

"We'll do that," James said.

"Hypothetically," Sirius added.

"Hypothetically," McGonagall sighed.

By the end of the night, most of Hogwarts was back to normal.

"It's official," James said when they were all back in the Common Room. "The Marauders are back."


	4. An Overheard Conversation

"Well," Remus said awkwardly the next night. "I've got to go, it's… that time."

"Oh," James said. "Right. We'll take notes for you."

"Thanks," Remus said. "Er, bye, then." With that, he disappeared, leaving the Common Room.

"Wish we could do more," Sirius said, watching him leave.

"Well, whenever we figure out that book and can deal with those mandrake leaves, we'll be able to," James said.

"Did you return the book at the end of last year?" Peter asked.

"'Course, otherwise Prince would be after our blood."

"She wouldn't know we'd taken it."

"Well, better to be safe than sorry."

"Since when are we safe?" Sirius asked, grinning jokingly. "That's the biggest lie you've ever told us, James."

"Then why do we always have the cloak just in case?" James pointed out.

"I don't know, does it give you confidence or something?"

"No it's just in case. Because us Marauders are extremely safe."

"Yes. Extremely safe."

"Glad you agree. Speaking of extremely safe, we'll have to take an extremely safe trip to the Restricted Section and find that book. I think we should reread it and look through it again, get more information," James said.

"When? We've got lessons all day tomorrow, and we'll have homework for sure," Peter said.

"As long as the homework isn't due the next day we'll be fine, and anyway, it'll make the most sense to go at night when we won't run into anyone," Sirius said.

"So we'll get the book back tomorrow night?" James checked.

"Well, the sooner the better," Sirius said.

The next night, the three boys snuck out of their dormitory quarter to midnight under the invisibility cloak. It was late enough that the Gryffindor Common Room was clear of people, and that the corridor outside of the room would hopefully be empty.

Fortunately, there was no one outside the portrait.

Quickly and quietly as possible, the Marauders snuck to the doors of the Hogwarts Library.

Once they were there, it took them a full five minutes to actually get inside. Mrs. Norris, Filch's cat, was patrolling the corridor. She didn't take long, though.

The boys were about to step forward and open the door when they heard footsteps from a nearby corridor.

It was Melior. He walked briskly around the corner and down the hall.

James, Sirius, and Peter, shrunk back to the opposite wall.

Melior glanced knowingly around the corridor, looking for something, or rather, someone. When no one appeared in the hall, he hurried up the staircase, just in time before it moved.

"We should chart when they do patrols," Sirius said when he was sure Melior was gone.

"Yeah," James agreed.

They resumed their place in front of the library door.

The library door opened silently, swinging inward on its hinges as James muttered, "Alohomora."

Almost as silently as the door had opened, the boys entered the library.

Its rows upon rows of books might have been discouraging to any other student, but luckily, James, Sirius, and Peter had found the book once, they could do it again. All they had to do was slip into the Restricted Section and find The Complete Animagus Transformation by August Wells.

Simple.

"Can I use lumos right away this time? It'll go faster," Peter whispered.

"Fine, but don't get us caught," James whispered back. "I don't think that we'd have a good reason for being here."

"Don't worry, I've got a cover story," Sirius said. "We just say that we've been sleepwalking, there have been magical cases of sleepwalking at Hogwarts before."

"How is sleepwalking magical?" Peter asked.

"Well, it's not, but if when you were asleep and a voice or something was convincing your asleep self to go do their bidding, that would be magical."

"Are we finding this book or not?" James hissed. "Come on, Prince might've moved it."

Madame Prince, the librarian, had indeed moved it. It took about a half hour to locate it's new position, but the boys found it.

They were on their way back when Sirius decided their victory required a trip to the kitchens.

Peter thought this was a brilliant idea.

James wasn't thinking along the same lines, but being a Marauder, he couldn't turn down a trip to the kitchens. With a few half-hearted protests of being exhausted, he gave into Peter and Sirius' argument and tiredly stumbled down in the general direction of the kitchens.

They weren't quite to the main floor when they heard a few whispers.

"You can't tell him, Albus, there's already enough pressure on his shoulders," McGonagall's voice muttered.

"There is," the calm tone of Dumbledore acknowledged. "I agree with that."

"So don't tell him! He's a boy, he shouldn't have to worry about such things!" McGonagall said.

"He'll find out sooner or later. I think it's better that it's one of the staff rather than an unwary student," Dumbledore said.

"Well, if you must," McGonagall said. "But I don't agree at all."

Their voices faded out of earshot.

"What was that about?" James asked.

"I dunno, do you?" Sirius asked.

"Why would I be asking if I knew? I've got no idea. Peter, you know anything?"

Peter shook his head. "No."

"I suggest we ponder over a full stomach," Sirius suggested. "Come on, let's finish our trip to the kitchens."

"But what were they talking about?" James whispered as they walked. "Who's 'he?'"

"Well, obviously a boy," Sirius said, "that has 'enough pressure on his shoulders.' Anyone we know fit that description?"

"Probably," Peter said.

"Yeah, but who?" James asked. "Whatever it is, it doesn't sound good."

"No, it doesn't," Sirius agreed.


	5. The Proposed Law

Since the moon hadn't been as bad, Remus was able to get out of the Hospital Wing faster than usual. He was back in classes for Friday's lessons.

"You took notes?" Remus checked.

"Yeah, here are the ones from Charms, D.A.D.A, Transfiguration, and Care of Magical Creatures," James said, passing over a fairly sized stack of papers.

Remus paged through the notes. "Most of these are for Care of Magical Creatures," he noticed. "About crups and kneazles."

"Kettleburn wants to do a practical lesson next week," Peter said. "I don't know, though, I read kneazles can be aggressive-"

"You'll be fine, they're just cats," Sirius told him. "You're not afraid of cats, are you?"

"I am, actually," Peter said.

"Really?" James asked.

"Really," Peter sighed.

"Well, at least you aren't afraid of birds or something, then Hogwarts would be about ten times worse with all of the owls in the morning," Remus offered.

"I don't really like birds, either."

"That's problematic," James commented.

"Very," Sirius nodded.

The Marauders talked through History of Magic, James, Sirius, and Peter mentioning McGonagall and Dumbledore's strange conversation. Remus had no idea who the 'he' was. The debate of who it could be didn't last long before they began talking about their surprising lack of detentions.

"I'm not complaining," Remus said. "I prefer to not be getting the look from McGonagall."

"I haven't been to Minnie's office all year, and we're halfway through September. I've only been able to see her during lessons, and I haven't had any of her biscuits," Sirius said.

"Do you get in trouble _just_ so she can say, 'have a biscuit, Black?'" Peter asked.

"It's Mr. Black, not just Black. She always makes it proper. And yeah, partly," Sirius said, "but being a Marauder lands you in a lot of detentions."

Transfiguration was next.

The class went by normally enough to start. They were learning the theory about transfiguring inanimate objects into animals. A few people attempted to transfigure their desks into various creatures, which McGonagall was not happy about.

Irritatedly, she ended the lesson early, sending the third years down to Potions.

"We'll end here today, considering that none of you can focus. Your homework is to reread and summarize the chapter we were working on today. Please make your way to your next class. Except for you, Mr. Lupin, I need a word with you," McGonagall said. "In my office. Let's chat over a biscuit or two."

Remus followed her out of the classroom and down the corridor, towards McGonagall's office.

"Lucky," Sirius said. "He gets a biscuit!"

"Yeah, and he gets the look from Minnie," James said. "Come on, we'll wait for him outside her office."

It was a short five minutes before Remus emerged from the office, looking a bit pale.

"What was that about?" James asked, then noticing his ashen coloring, added, "Are you alright?"

"I'll tell you later," Remus said a little shakily, then pulled something out of his robe pocket and passed it to Sirius. "Here, I saved you one."  
Sirius took the biscuit and said, "Remus, you are my favorite person right now. I love you so much, thank you for giving me a biscuit, you know I love these-"  
Remus blinked distractedly. "Okay…. Glad you're excited."  
James blinked too. "Overexcited is more like it."

Potions was uneventful. They had moved on from the aging potion and had begun learning about the effects of different ingredients in serums.

When Potions was over, they hurried to the kitchens rather than lunch.

"Is it about your…" James struggled to find an adequate term. "... furry little problem?"

"Furry little problem?" Remus asked, glancing at James.

"Mate, I think that's downplaying it a bit," Sirius said.

James shrugged. "Well, it certainly sounds less suspicious than-"

"Furry little problem. Sure, we'll call it that," Remus said quickly. "Yes, it is. There's an article in the Prophet that Umbridge is in, encouraging a new law. The article is set to go out for tomorrow, but Umbridge decided that Dumbledore would like to get it early."

"I'm betting it's about you," James said.

Remus nodded nervously. "A bit."

"That's not good," Peter said.

The Marauders reached the kitchens and Sirius tickled the pear. The portrait swung inward as the Marauders stepped into the kitchen.

"Let me guess," Sirius said. "This law is a stupid _I-don't-like-a-random-kid-so-I'm-going-to-make-things-hard-for-anyone-like-him_ kind of law?"

"When you phrase it like that, yes," Remus said. "I have the article. Here." He passed the other three the Daily Prophet clipping.

 _A new law concerning half-breeds was submitted to the Minister of Magic Thursday. This law concerns the restrictions on half-breeds and their place in the magical and muggle communities across Britain._

 _The employee who created the basis for this proposal, Dolores Umbridge, a recently retired teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, gave an interview with the Daily Prophet on Friday._

" _Half-breeds are a danger to the magical community," Umbridge explained. "With only near-human intelligence, these beasts destroy the safety that we have worked to achieve. They ravage muggle towns, making them aware of our existence. The less they know about witches and wizards, the safer we are. Of course, if the muggles are confronted with a half-breed, they are in considerable danger."_

 _Umbridge claims to have had personal experience with these issues._

" _While I was teaching at Hogwarts, there was a boy with lycanthropy. He was terrible. He attacked me multiple times, and I'm lucky that I'm not dead or infected. He also corrupted his friends into helping him. They might have not been werewolves, but they were just as bad after being under his influence. Among the things they were tricked into doing were letting ashwinders loose in my office, tampering with the staircases, and enchanting tea cups to wreak havoc on unsuspecting victims."_

 _Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry could not be reached for a comment._

" _This law will ensure that no one has to be corrupted by these monsters, nor will they have to fear them," Umbridge said. "This law will save the lives of many, both magic and muggle. It's rather simple, but will be effective. It would limit the access half-breeds have to the magical and muggle communities without proper Ministry inspection and if they were deemed fit, they would be under extensive watch. With lower interaction rates, there will barely be any contact between us and these dangers, making the chances of being attacked slim."_

 _The full proposed law can be found on page 10._

James, Sirius, and Peter were silent for a moment. Then they erupted.

"That bloody toad! She can't publish that!" Sirius roared. "It's an invasion of privacy!"

"That's completely unreasonable!" James shouted. "Near-human intelligence? Remus is ten times smarter than you!"

"If anyone corrupted us, it wasn't Remus!" Peter protested. "She's the mad one!"

"What the bloody hell does she think? If that law passes, I'm going to murder her!" Sirius seethed.

"We're going to murder her," Peter said grimly.

The quieted down for a second before James put the pieces together.

"The ashwinders, staircases, and tea cups…. We signed those ' _courtesy of the Marauders_ ,'" he said slowly. "That narrows it down to second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh year… and everyone thinks that we're Gryffindor…. Bloody hell."

Remus looked down.

"If they figure out who the Marauders are, they'll know it was you Umbridge was talking about in the article," James said quietly.

Sirius let out a string of curse words. "This is my fault, I shouldn't have had us start signing everything."

James began to scan the article again angrily. "It's not your fault, it was a good idea, it let Evans know we were doing something against- Evans."

Remus paled.

"She knows we're the Marauders," Peter said.

"And she gets the Daily Prophet delivered," Remus said. "I'm done for-"

"No, you aren't," Sirius said determinedly. "We'll help. We're the Marauders, and the Marauders always have a plan."

"You're staying at Hogwarts, Remus," James said.

"I shouldn't have come, I've made it worse for everyone," Remus muttered bitterly. "I shouldn't be here-"

"You should," Peter said. "You're one of the best in our year."

Remus didn't argue.

"Come on," Sirius said softly, "Let's grab some food and head up to our dorm. When we get up there, we'll find a way to keep you here. Promise."

It was a moment before Remus nodded. "Alright."


	6. A Secret Revealed

They had a shaky plan by the time the owls came. Hopefully it worked. It _had_ to.

They had promised, after all.

Remus was quiet and on edge, as were James, Sirius, and Peter, even before the whispers and exclamations filled the Great Hall.

"A werewolf in the castle!"

"She's lying right? Dumbledore wouldn't let a werewolf at Hogwarts."

"Really?"

"No one's been bitten, have they?"

"Didn't the Marauders pull those pranks?"

"Well, now I know who to blame for my broken wrist last April."

"It could be anyone!"

"And Dumbledore says we're safe! Not with that thing!"

"I hope my parents don't read this, they won't let me back after the Christmas Holidays."

The story spread like a wildfire. Breakfast was not yet halfway done when the whole school was aware of Umbridge's claim.

At the end of breakfast, Dumbledore made sure to make an announcement about the rumors.

"Our former Professor Umbridge has been making claims of a student with lycanthropy," he said calmly to the hall. "Please note that these are only _rumors_. Rumors and truth are not always synonyms. Along with this, I would like to remind you that as the headmaster, I would never put you in danger."

"Yeah, and rumors and lies aren't always synonyms," Peter said nervously. "I think he forgot to mention that."

"Peter!" James hissed. "You're not helping!"

It was all the school talked about, the idea that there was a werewolf in the castle.

The Marauders could almost see Umbridge's confident smile, hear her smug "hem, hem," and feel her satisfaction in the air.

"Someone will figure it out," Remus whispered in their dormitory after a stressful breakfast.

"Maybe," Sirius said, "but there's not a guarantee that they'll tell someone."

Remus shook his head. "What are the odds that they won't?"

"Take a look at who's next to you. James, Peter, and I figured it out, and we haven't told anyone."

"But if the wrong person figures it out, I'm done for."

"But if the not-wrong person figures it out, it might not get worse."

"I can't risk it," Remus said anxiously. "I just can't."

"You haven't, Umbridge is the one that did," James said stonily. "She'll be paying for that."

"She'll definitely be paying for that," Sirius agreed. "Which is why I think it's time that we start planning her demise."

"Brilliant. Where do we start?"

"I don't know. Hey, Remus, you're the one she's trying to expose. What do you want to do to her?" Sirius asked.

In the library, Lily Evans was piecing the puzzle together.

' _Among the things they were tricked into doing were letting ashwinders loose in my office, tampering with the staircases, and enchanting tea cups to wreak havoc on unsuspecting victims.'_

' _...we could stay with him during the full moon and keep him from hurting himself….'_

' _It's Remus isn't it? He's not here.'_

The cuts, the scars, the absences….

Lily knew exactly who Umbridge was talking about. It made perfect sense.

Surprisingly, the first thought that went through Lily's head wasn't about how one of her housemates was a werewolf.

No, it was about how much she hated Umbridge.

The war on her wasn't over. Her resignation might have been the end at Hogwarts, but she was still trying.

That toad was sure a sore loser.

But if Umbridge wanted to strike at them, they would strike back.

Face hardened with resolve, Lily left the library.

"We could send her some more teacups."

"There's no way she'd fall for that."

"What about a bunch of dungbombs?"

"I'm not wasting my money on her."

"Who said it was your money?"

"Well, I didn't hear you offering."

"We could send her a howler."

The Marauders were coming up with as many ideas as they could to pay back Umbridge when Lily barged into their dormitory.

The Marauders froze.

"I know," she said simply.

Remus took a step back.

James and Sirius stepped forward and pulled out their wands, protectively positioning themselves between Remus and Lily.

"You can't tell anyone," Sirius said, deadly quiet. "If you do, I'll personally lock you up in Filch's shackles and test out a few choice hexes on you."

"Lower your wands, will you? I'm not here to gloat, I'm here to help," Lily said impatiently. "Remus, I could care less about what you are, but I do care about the fact that Umbridge is parading it around for everyone to figure out and judge."

"Really?" James asked skeptically.

"Really. It's his secret to tell, not hers. Now, do you guys have a plan for Umbridge, or do we need to make one?"

"That's it," Remus said, voice shaking slightly. "That's it, you're completely fine with the fact that-"

"Yes," Lily said forcefully.

"If you're lying," James warned.

"I'm not."

Sirius turned to glance at Remus. "It's your call."

"It's fine, there's nothing we can do, she knows," Remus said unevenly.

Sirius hesitated, then lowered his wand.

"So what are you doing here?" James asked.

"I already told you, I want to help get back at Umbridge," Lily said.

"Alright, well, we came up with a few ideas," James said. "A niffler or some other type of magical creature, more teacups, dungbombs, a howler-"

"A howler sounds brilliant," Lily said.

"Screaming at her won't get anything done," Sirius said, still looking at Lily as though she would change her mind about some of her previous statements.

"Not unless it happens in a workplace, while she's surrounded by people and whatnot," Remus said hesitantly.

"Why would that make a difference?" Peter asked.

"Well, think about it. If you're alone and accused of something, you can pretend it never happened. No one else has to know about it, no questions asked. But if you're in a group and accused of something, the group knows. They'll ask questions and speculate among themselves, spread the accusation around until it's proved or disproved," Remus explained.

"Like what the toad is doing to you with that bloody article," James said grimly.

Remus nodded silently.

"It's about time she gets a taste of her own medicine," Lily decided. "I'll go down to the library and look up the charms you need for one of those."

"We'll need information about when Umbridge has a meeting," Remus said.

"Minnie might know," Sirius said.

"Minnie doesn't work at the Ministry," Peter pointed out,

"Maybe we can bribe Slughorn into telling us something, he knows plenty of people that work there," James said.

"You can't bribe a teacher," Remus said with a sigh.

"Of course you can," Sirius said with a small smirk.

"Well, if that's all…" Lily made to leave.

"Remember," Sirius said quietly, joking demeanor gone. "Don't tell anyone."

"I won't." With that, Lily disappeared out the door.

"Can we trust her?" Peter asked.

"We don't have a choice," Remus said. "I'd rather no one knew, but…. Better her than someone else."

"She'll keep it a secret," James nodded. "She'd better."


	7. Crups and Kneazles

In an effort to take Remus' mind off of the article in the Daily Prophet, the Marauders began planning an anonymous prank, which was set to take place on Monday.

They went over the plan in History of Magic. During Transfiguration, they spent all of their time watching the clock. Potions only gave them an unsatisfactory attempt at creating an antidote for the Draught of Living Death. During lunch they went over the plan again, then rushed to Charms, where they managed to produce feeble attempts at the confundus charm.

At last, it was time for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Come on, let's go," James said, ushering the group into a deserted side corridor.

"Which way from here?" Peter asked.

"We need to get back to the dorm to grab the boxes, but we need to wait for everyone to get to class first," James said. "Then we can get to the Great Hall."

It only took five minutes for the corridors to clear of students, and then the Marauders were on their way to Gryffindor Tower.

The boxes they had procured were oddly shaped and bore all sorts of random and colorful designs. They had about fifty small ones, which was decidedly enough.

"Right, Peter, you grab those, James- no those are Remus', grab the other ones," Sirius directed.

Each boy picked up a tall stack of boxes and made for the door.

It took them about fifteen minutes to get the boxes down the stairs. Peter kept dropping his; James stepped in a trick step that hadn't been completed fixed from April Fools Day last year; Sirius tried to help James, which didn't work. The only one who wasn't having any problems was Remus.

"How do you do that?" Sirius panted as they finally reached the Great Hall.

"Practice," Remus said simply.

"Practice? Why, I reckon he's been sneaking out without us!" James joked.

"Come on, we don't have all day," Remus said.

The Marauders entered the Great Hall, closing the large oaken doors behind them.

James turned to the others. "I'll get Gryffindor, Sirius, you've got Slytherin-"

Sirius gave a huff of annoyance.

"-Remus, you'll have Ravenclaw, Peter, you're Hufflepuff," James finished.

They split up and each began to do their separate parts of the plot.

Within twenty minutes, the trap was set, and the Marauders were hurrying out of the Great Hall and making their way to Gryffindor Tower.

"Come on, we've still got twenty minutes until D.A.D.A ends, we can catch up on that essay for Slughorn," Remus said, glancing at the pensieve book unsurely.

"Or we could plan a prank," Sirius said. "I don't really think twenty minutes of a Potions essay after this is appropriate after what we've done."

"Let's just go to the Common Room first," Peter suggested, "and decide then."

They didn't do the Potions essay.

James and Peter were engrossed in a intense game of Gobstones. Sirius was loudly cheering them on.

After about ten minutes of this, Remus gave up on attempting to describe the effects of the Draught of Living Death.

With Sirius encouraging James and Remus supporting Peter, a fight of some sort was inevitable.

The Marauders rushed to Care of Magical Creatures with their robes wrinkled and ties askew.

"Boys, glad you made it, we have the practical lesson today, the crups and kneazles are here," Kettleburn greeted them as they hurried to join the class.

"We should have reviewed our notes instead of that game!" Peter said. "I'm going to be eaten, I'll get mauled because I didn't-"

"You're not going to be mauled, you'll be fine," James said.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Right this way, kids, over to the padlocks!" Kettleburn called before they could continue.

The Care of Magical Creatures class followed him to two medium sized padlocks at the edge of the forest, stopping about a yard from the padlock fence.

"They're pretty cute," James said.

"I agree, James. Now could you tell us which is which?" Kettleburn asked.

"Yeah. The one with the really pointed ears and furry tail is the kneazle, and the one that looks like a dog is a crup," James answered.

"Very good. Evan, care to tell us which is better suited for a pet?" Kettleburn said, turning to a caramel-haired boy in Slytherin robes.

"It depends on your taste," Evan answered, "and your purpose for owning one. If you need one to catch vermin, use the kneazle. If you need a playmate, use the crup."

"Well said. Now, if you'll all step a bit closer, I'll demonstrate how to behave around kneazles first, then with crups. It shouldn't be too hard, but I don't want you going into there without an idea of what to do."

The kneazles were only a little larger than a regular cat. They had sharply pointed ears, soft looking fur coats, and long tails with tufted fur on the ends. Their curious, knowing eyes watched the class as they silently padded around the padlock.

The crups, on the other hand, bore close resemblance to a Jack Russell terrier. Their forked tails wagged excitedly behind them as they bounded around the enclosure.

"Alright," Kettleburn said when he finished explaining. "We'll divide into partners, then into two groups. On will go with the crups, the other with the kneazles. One partner at a time."

James and Sirius were partnered together, as were Remus and Peter.

The Marauders made their way to the crups' padlock with a half of the class.

"With the crups, Dorcas, Evan, Sirius, Augustus, and Remus, you five will go first. With the kneazles, Alice, Lily, Jerome, Andrew, and Bertha. We'll swap out in a few minutes," Kettleburn said.

The ten selected people stepped cautiously into their respective padlocks.

In the padlock with the kneazles, it was relatively calm.

The padlock with the crups was a completely different story. The crups had been excited by people entering the area and had begun sprinting around faster than ever.

"Oi! Sit still!" Evan shouted at a coppery crup.

The crup only gave a yip in response and ran faster, plowing Sirius over.

"Hey! Bad dog!" Sirius yelled after it. "Very bad dog!"

The crup slowed slightly, turning to look at Sirius. Then, deciding he wanted to keep running, the crup took off again.

James was shaking with laughter on the sidelines.

Sirius glared at him.

This only made James laugh harder.

James laughing harder ended in Sirius resolving the James would pay for that.

Remus wasn't much better off. He hadn't been knocked over yet, but there was a crup dashing around him, making it impossible to move without being hit.

Eventually, the crups calmed down enough for the five to interact with them in ways other than being knocked over.

Sirius was the first to get one to sit.

"Well done, Sirius! Well done!" Kettleburn called when this happened. "It seems that Lee likes you!"

Sirius looked down at the coppery crup. "Lee? That's your name? Right, Lee, I need you to do me a favor."

Lee gave a bark and cocked his head to the side.

Sirius grinned and began, "Here's what you'll need to do…."

The girl, Dorcas, was the second to gain one of the crups' trust, followed closely by Remus. Evan and Augustus had no such luck before the groups switched.

Now, James and Peter were in with the crups and Sirius and Remus were on the sidelines.

The crups were much calmer now, but that didn't stop Lee from chasing James around the padlock the moment James stepped inside it.

Outside the padlock, Sirius was roaring with laughter at James dodging people, crups, and the few rocks in the padlock to escape Lee. His plan had worked.

"Stop chasing me!" James shouted over his shoulder.

"Good boy, Lee!" Sirius yelled.

James shouted some choice words at Sirius and kept running.

The other four people in the padlock were fine. The other crups padded over, allowing the four to pet them.

A dark spotted one picked a small stick off the ground and held it up to Peter.

Peter nervously took the stick from it's mouth and tossed it to the opposite side of the padlock.

The crup gave a frenzied, excited pursuit, sprinting towards the stick, running into Lee in the process.

When James realized he wasn't being chased anymore, he gave a relieved sigh and leaned up against the fence to catch his breath.

A few minutes later, the groups had switched, and Sirius and Remus were in the area with the kneazles.

The kneazles were rather skittish around Remus, never allowing him close enough to pet them. They skirted around him, darting away just out of reach.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Remus insisted to no avail.

The kneazles simply moved away again.

Sirius hated the kneazles. When he attempted to pet them, they hissed and backed away.

One of them was bold enough to swipe at him.

"Okay, fine!" Sirius told them. "Be like that! You're only bloody cats, anyway!"

The kneazles did not take well to that.

When the group left the padlock, he had a total of ten scratches.

James did well with the kneazles. He managed to pet one, who gave a small chuff before sweeping itself away.

Peter, however, did not do well. It took about a minute before one of the kneazles crouched down, narrowed her eyes, and lept onto Peter's back, causing him to yelp in surprise.

"The crups were much better," Sirius decided as class finished.

"I liked the kneazles, that crup wouldn't stop chasing me," James said, giving Sirius a look.

"You know, if you had just stood still, he wouldn't have kept chasing you,"  
Remus said.

"You couldn't have told me this before when I was being chased could you?"  
James sighed.

Remus shrugged. "It was entertaining."  
"I thought you were on my side!" James accused him. "It wasn't funny!"

"Of course it was," Sirius said. "It was hilarious."

"Well, at least I was able to pet one of the kneazles! They hated you!"

"Yeah, well, I hated them too."

"They seemed to hate all of you except for me, actually," noted James.

"Yeah," agreed Peter. "I'm never getting near one of those things again."

"You didn't get mauled," James pointed out. "Considering you didn't review the notes, you did fine."

"Still," Peter shivered. "Never again."

"I get why that one pounced on you, you were nervous, but Sirius and Remus didn't seem as nervous. So why did they go after them?"

"Well, they hated me already," Sirius said. "And I probably also had some of Lee's fur on me, which probably didn't help."

"I don't know, but it might have been because I had crup fur on me or something," Remus said, looking down.

"Or the kneazles just naturally hate good looking people," Sirius suggested.

"I look good!" James protested, "They didn't hate me!"

"I don't know, mate," Sirius said. "Your hair is a bit messy to be good looking."

"It's casually messy but still good looking!"

"Sure, James. Whatever makes you happy."


	8. Toucans and Rain

The rule change Dumbledore had enacted restricted the use of _magical creatures_. He hadn't said anything about non-magical creatures. So technically, it was completely within the rules to release fifty tropical birds into the Great Hall during dinner.

The Marauders had set pressure triggers on fifty different tiles of flooring around the separate house tables. This was why a startled Ravenclaw gave a yelp of surprise when a toucan popped into existence mere inches from his foot.

A few students glanced his way, but not enough to sound the alarm.

Within five minutes, no less than fifty toucans were flapping and squawking around the hall. Louder than the birds, however, were the shouts of the students.

"It's the bloody Marauders!"

"No it's not, if it were the Marauders, they would have claimed it!"

"Bird in my face!"

"Forget the bird in your face, this one's in the pudding!"

"Why would I care about a bloody bird in the pudding?"

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm out of here.

"It worked," James smirked.

"I think that it did," Remus agreed. "And it wasn't against the rules."

"Who cares if it is or isn't against the rules. Break some rules if you have to," Sirius said.

"I break plenty of them," Remus said. "What do you call intentionally breeding ashwinders in a teacher's office?"

Sirius muttered something about rule following and being a public menace.

"Well, you know what we haven't done?" James said.  
"What?" Peter asked.  
"We should enchant the shackles in Filch's office to throw things at people. If we vanished the wall in front of the office, they would get a lot of unsuspecting people."  
"People would get hurt, the corridors would stink because he's confiscated so many dungbombs, and I doubt Filch or the teachers would be happy because it would break at least ten school rules," Remus pointed out.  
James shrugged. "Just a thought."  
"Screw Filch and the teachers, that sounds brilliant," Sirius said. "And anyway, didn't you just say that you 'break plenty' of rules?"

Remus couldn't argue with that.

September ended, October arriving with sharp gusts of wind that shook the trees on the castle grounds. Along with a change in seasons, October also brought news that Umbridge's proposed law had been rejected.

This definitely brightened the Marauders' and Lily's moods.

"I think that we should celebrate the toad's failure with some pranking," suggested Sirius once the Marauders were the only ones in the Common Room.

"Brilliant," said James.

"Like what?" said Peter.

"I don't know, maybe something colorful," offered Remus.

Sirius smirked. "Well, we could enchant the armor in the halls to cuss like Evans when she's angry-"

"Not that kind of colorful."

"That spell from last year that Evans betrayed us with," said Peter.

"Rain isn't colorful, Peter, it's dull," said Sirius.

"No, but is there a way, like a charm or something, that could make it rain glitter?"

"Where'd you come up with glitter?"

"I don't know, I just did."

"I don't know about glitter, that would be a mess, and anyway, it isn't weather," Remus said, thinking, "but we could _try_ and manipulate the spell, and make the rain red or something."

"How is rain less messy than glitter? Peter asked, confused. "Rain would cause a flood or something."

"Well, it would be easier for Sirius to get it out of his hair," Remus shrugged.

"For that reason, I'd like to second the rainbow rain," Sirius said.

"I would like to first the glitter," Peter said.

"I'll second the glitter," James said, "because I'd like to see something mess up Sirius' hair."

"James, you traitor!" Sirius said dramatically. "How could you? After all we've been through?"

James shrugged. "It would be a first.

"We're not doing glitter," Sirius said, smirking at James. "If we do glitter, I'll figure the charm out and use Sleekeazy's instead of glitter in the Great Hall. Might help you with your hair."

James shook his head vigorously. "Anything but that, please, mate. My mum and dad wouldn't let me hear the end of it, me using that."

"No glitter, no need to promote the family reputation," Sirius said.

"What do you mean, 'promote the family reputation?'" James asked.

"I'm sure you've had to use that stuff when you go to a big event or something," Sirius said, "and knowing you, you probably said no. Of course, your parents probably replied to that with the whole, 'it's good advertising' speech. Then, they probably forced it on you to promote the brand and all that. So if we do rain, it makes your hair even messier, and it also means you don't have to obey your parents with that presentation rule."

James huffed but didn't argue.

Satisfied, Sirius turned to the others and declared, "It's a no to glitter!"

"I'll get started on modifying the charm," Remus said, sounding vaguely amused.

Modifying the charm took more time than the Marauders would have liked, due to the complex magic involved and the full moon, but by the second week of October, they had more or less gotten it down. This just left the carrying out of the prank, which would be easy to handle.

"We know the plan?" James checked.

"Yeah, we've gone over it twice in the past hour," Sirius said. "Let's go, dinner'll be starting."

The boys joined the trickle of students that had begun to head down to dinner, hiding grins.

It started like most of their pranks that took place: normally. The candles cast a cheerful light over the Great Hall. People talked and laughed, forks and knives clinking as they ate.

About ten minutes into dinner, when most of Hogwarts had sat down, it began.

Remus and James were the first to slide their wands out of their pockets, point at the ceiling, and mutter the incantation.

There was a rumble of thunder that made a few people jump.

At the head table, Dumbledore glanced upward vaguely.

Then the rain began.

It started as a colorful sprinkle. Jubilant red, fiery orange, cheery yellow, emerald green, crystal blue, and brilliant purple droplets fell through the air. Though it wasn't enough to get anyone yet, a few people pointed at the ceiling.

"Why is it raining?"

"That's a really nice green color, isn't it?

"I thought water was clear, why is it red?"

"Is that blood?"

"No, you idiot, it's water!"

"Look at that!"

"Aren't we inside?"

"This is going to ruin my roll!"

"It's not that much rain, just finish it quickly."

Sirius and Peter reinforced the charm, and the downpour began.

A few students shouted in surprise as the rain came down more quickly. A number of people dashed for the door, trying to get outside of the Great Hall, slipping on the wet tile as they ran.

"It worked!" Peter said, "but I think we should have used glitter."

"It worked indeed, Mr. Pettigrew," a smooth voice came from behind him. "And I'm glad you didn't use glitter."

The Marauders whipped their heads around in their seats.

Peter would have jumped in surprise if he hadn't been sitting.

Melior was the one who had spoken. With his drenched robes and stern expression, it was almost comical how grumpy he looked, however, the fact that they had been found out dispersed any temptation to laugh.

"Er, sorry, Professor," Remus said awkwardly.

"How's it going?" Sirius asked with forced cheerfulness.

"Wet," Melior said dryly. "Now if you'd come to my office so we can discuss the details of your punishment."

"So he does have a sense of humor," Sirius whispered to the others as Melior escorted them out of the hall.

"Quiet, Mr. Black," Melior warned him.

"Sorry, Professor."

Within a few minutes, they sat in his office, awaiting the verdict. Detention, for sure, maybe a week or so of it. Probably a few points from Gryffindor. The real question was how Melior would react now that they were in a private space. Melior was usually stern, down-to-business sort of teacher. It would be a common assumption that he would be the same in private. However, Umbridge had appeared laughable and girly when in reality, she was cruel and tortuous. Impressions from classes were completely irrelevant when dealing with a teacher outside of classes.

"So," Melior said, seating himself opposite of them, "I assume that show in the Great Hall was for entertainment."

The Marauders nodded.

"I also assume that you are aware of the school rules you have broken," he continued.

James, Remus, and Peter nodded while Sirius shook his head.

"I haven't actually read through the rule book," Sirius said. "I'd prefer to be off doing other things."

Melior gave Sirius a look.

Sirius shrugged. Normally, he wouldn't do this to any teacher but McGonagall, but this was a special case.

"Are you trying to test my patience?" Melior asked him.

Sirius shook his head innocently. "Of course not, Professor."

"Then you'll allow me to continue without interruptions," Melior said pointedly. "The most serious damage you appear to have done is a concussion to a Slytherin boy. While this may have been for entertainment, it has caused another student harm. Twenty points from Gryffindor, and a detention with me tomorrow at seven."

"Which Slytherin?" James asked curiously.

"A boy by the name of Regulus Black," Melior said, looking to Sirius.

"How do you know?" Sirius said sharply.

"Madame Pomfrey was at dinner tonight and saw him fall, declaring he had a concussion," Melior said. "I recognized him, as he's one of my better students."

"Can we leave?" Sirius asked, suddenly impatient.

"Seven o'clock tomorrow night, my office," Melior said.

The Marauders quickly left the room.

"Too bad it wasn't Snivellus that got the concussion," James said grimly, "Do you think your brother will be alright?"

"Hope so," Sirius said.

"He'll be fine, Madam Pomfrey will be able to do something," Remus said reassuringly.

"Yeah, she's patched up worse," Sirius said, glancing at Remus, "but what I'm worried about is what'll get into his head."

They walked back to Gryffindor Tower in silence.

When they reached the portrait, Sirius said, "I'm going to go check on him, see that he's alright. I'll meet you guys in the dorm in a bit."

"Alright," James said, nodding.

"Password?" the Portrait prompted.

"Fiddlesticks," Peter said.

James, Peter, and Remus disappeared into Gryffindor Tower.

"He's more bothered by this than he's letting on," James noted as they walked up the stairs to the dorm.

"Yeah, but there isn't much we can do, is there?" Peter said.

"No, not a lot," Remus agreed.

"Is there anything due tomorrow for class?" James asked with a sigh.

"There's that essay for History of Magic, we need that chapter summary for Defense Against the Dark Arts, and those notes for Care of Magical Creatures," Remus said.

"I don't have the History of Magic one done, I've been putting it off for the past week," James said. "I should do that."

"You probably should have done it a few days ago," Remus said. "Did I You get it done, Peter?"

"I started it yesterday," Peter said.

"Does Sirius have it done?"

"Probably not," James said, fishing in his trunk for some parchment.

"I'll get that going for him," Remus said.

Meanwhile, Sirius was halfway to the Hospital Wing.

There wasn't anyone in the corridors; People were most likely drying off or complaining in their common rooms about their interrupted dinner.

Sirius wasn't worried about Regulus' concussion, not that much. He was, however, worried about how Regulus would react when he found out that Sirius had been behind the rain. The Regulus Sirius remembered might smile weakly and tell him off. After a few months in Slytherin, though…. Surrounded by that lot, there was no telling what he would be like.

Sirius arrived at the wooden doors to the Hospital Wing and knocked.

"Yes?" Madam Pomfrey said, opening one of the doors slightly.

"Is my brother here?" Sirius asked.

"Curfew started five minutes ago," Madam Pomfrey said disapprovingly.

"Please?" Sirius said. "I'd like to see him, make sure he's alright."

Madam Pomfrey opened the door farther and told him, "five minutes."

Regulus laid in the last bed on the right. He looked relatively alright, though there was a bruise forming above his left eye.

"Hey," Sirius said quietly.

Regulus opened his eyes. "Sirius?" he said, sounding a little surprised.

"Yeah. Sorry about that, are you alright?"

Regulus blinked in surprise. "I'm fine- that was you?"

"Me and some friends, we didn't intend on anyone getting hurt," Sirius said guiltily.

"Some friends… the ones you told me about? That you did all the other stuff with?" Regulus asked.

"Yeah."

They sat in silence for a moment.

"That's against school rules, you know," Regulus told him, smiling weakly.

Sirius gave him a small smile back. "Of course you know the school rules," he said teasingly.

"Doesn't everyone?"

"As you can tell after tonight's dinner, not me."

The brothers laughed quietly.

"You've never liked rules, though," Regulus said after a minute.

"Not the bad ones," Sirius agreed, "Definitely not the ones at home."

"You don't miss it." It wasn't a question.

"Not at all," Sirius said confidently. "Hogwarts is where I belong."

"I don't really miss it either," Regulus admitted. "Except for Kreacher, he was alright."

"So you like Hogwarts," Sirius said.

"Yeah, it's…. I don't know what it is, but it feels more like home sometimes than home does."

Before Sirius could reply, Madam Pomfrey appeared. "It's been five minutes," she said, "and in order for any of my patients to rest, including Mr. Black here, they need quiet."

"Alright," Sirius said.

"Bye," Regulus said.

"Bye," Sirius said, giving him a last half-smile. With that, he left the Hospital Wing for Gryffindor Tower.


	9. Detention and Tryouts

In class the next day, Melior gave no mention of the fact that they would be having detention for their prank. This meant no speculation about them being the Marauders, which was fortunate.

"We're still safe," James whispered to the others.

"Yeah, for now," Sirius whispered back.

"I think that Melior suspects something, though," Remus muttered.

"You do?" Peter asked, nervously quiet.

"Who else has attempted pranks like ours?"

"Good point," James said.

They made it through the day without much suspicion from anyone. Then at seven, they made their way to Melior's office.

"What do you think we'll be doing?"

"I don't know, but it had better not be blood quills."

"Better not be lines, I don't think I'm able to do lines anymore after last year."

They knocked on the door.

"Come in," came Melior's slightly muffled response.

Remus pushed the door open.

It didn't look like they were doing lines. There were four stacks of paper with grey quills on each stack, but the papers were already written on. Assignments, they looked like.

"You'll be grading these essays," Melior told them, setting down a few inkwells on the desk. "They're the ones for first and second year."

"Alright," James said.

"I have other things to get done. I'll be back in an hour, I expect everything to be graded by then," Melior said. With that, he strode out of the office and closed the door behind him.

"Two whole years in an _hour_?" Peter exclaimed. "We'll never finish!"

"There are four of us, we'll be fine," Remus said.

The Marauders each grabbed a stack of papers and a quill.

"You sure these aren't-" James started uneasily.

"They aren't, the blood ones are black, these are just falcon feathers, I think," Sirius assured him.

"And anyway, the blood quills didn't need ink," Remus said.

With only a moment's hesitation, the boys dipped the tips of the quills and began grading.

Grading the papers was actually the slightest bit enjoyable.

"This one got it wrong, kappas are more commonly found in Japan," Remus noted as he read through one of the essays.

"How do you know that?" Sirius asked. "I thought they were supposed to be from Korea."

"Perhaps it was because I was paying attention," Remus offered.

"I paid attention, too!"

"Hey, this kid copied straight out of the textbook!" James said.

"Why didn't we think of that?" Sirius said.

"Because it's against the law," Remus said. "You should downgrade him for that."

"How do you defeat a kappa again?" Peter asked.

"You need to trick it into bowing for you, or you can give it a cucumber inscribed with your name."

"You should take over D.A.D.A," James commented.

Remus shook his head and continued reading through the essay. "I don't think so- Sirius, no, you can't give them a Troll because they're in Slytherin."

"Why not, Moony? It's one of the gits that sits by Snivellus!" Sirius protested.

"Well, they're not Snape, are they?"

"If only we had third year," Sirius said with a sigh. "Then we could fail Snivellus himself!"

Melior returned as they were finishing the last few essays.

"Curfew will be starting soon," he said. "Off to your dormitory."

Without a word to Melior, the Marauders made their way back to the Common Room.

"I don't know what to think of him," James said as they assented one of the staircases.

"He's too serious," Peter said.

"I am Sirius," announced Sirius, "and I refuse to believe that. When would I ever make you grade tests? Is your faith that low in me?"

"The other kind of serious," James said.

"So, boring."

"Stern," corrected Remus.

"Minnie's stern, not me."

James sighed. "Just give up, Remus, you know this won't get anywhere."

"It won't," Remus agreed, "Which means that we have homework to do."

"Is it the Potions or the Transfiguration?" Peter asked.

"They're both due tomorrow, we have to get them both done," James said. "I started the Transfiguration one, I've only got a paragraph left, but I haven't started the Potions one."

"Let's get those done then," Remus said.

"Can they wait?" Sirius asked.

"They're due tomorrow, and Minnie would hate it if you didn't turn it in," James said.

"Minnie wouldn't, she loves me too much!" Sirius said.

"Sure, mate, sure," James said.

Despite Sirius' confidence in his relationship with McGonagall, the homework was finished by ten.

The next few days were relatively uneventful. Uneventful, at least, until Wednesday night.

"Quidditch tryouts this weekend!" James exclaimed. "They have two spots open for Chaser!"

"And there's no Umbridge to stop you!" Sirius said, smirking. "Or me. I might try out."

"Brilliant," James said.

"Is this because of that 'if you can make McGonagall smile, you can play professional Quidditch' comment from last year?" Remus asked.

"Well," Sirius said, "If we're going by those standards, you and Peter could play, too!"

Peter shook his head. "I'll keep both feet on the ground," he said.

"I'll stick with Peter," Remus agreed.

Sirius shrugged. "Suit yourselves."

"And there's the first Hogsmeade visit, on Halloween," James said.

"Good, I want to buy some of the chocolate from Honeydukes," Remus said.

"We need to get to Zonko's," Sirius grinned, "I heard that they've released some new products."

"I thought your mum didn't sign the form," Remus said.

"No, she didn't," Sirius said with a smirk, "but we found that passage, you'll have to try harder than that to get rid of me.

"And you three haven't tried the Three Broomsticks, we'll have to go there," Peter told the group.

"That's the place with butterbeer, right?" James asked.

"Yeah, it's delicious," Peter said blissfully.

"Brilliant. We've got that to look forward to, and we should try and plan some more pranks, then we can pick some stuff up at Zonko's," James said. "But in the meantime, I should practice for the tryouts."

"Curfew," Remus reminded him as he made for the portrait.

James sighed. "Right."

Directly after classes ended, James and Sirius made their way out to the Quidditch Pitch, where all of the school brooms were kept, along with a few sets of the balls required.

"They got new school brooms," James noticed. "Cleansweeps."

"What were you on last year? Was it a Silver Arrow?" Sirius asked absentmindedly as he grabbed a broom.

"Think so. I just know it wasn't this up-to-date," said James.

"These aren't exactly up-to-date either, are they?" said Sirius.

"They're a few years old, I think I was five or so when this model came out," James nodded.

"What model are the Cleansweeps on now? Three?"

"Yeah, these are the originals."

"Brilliant. So these should be better than last years, because those always drifted to the left."

They practiced again after class on Friday.

Saturday morning, they made their way down to the Pitch again, only this time it was for the tryouts.

"Good luck," Peter told them.

"You two'll do great, we'll be watching," Remus said.

James and Sirius offered them grins before they disappeared into the stands.

"Oi! Everyone trying out, down here!" someone from the center of the Pitch called.

"That'll be us," James said, and he and Sirius headed to the gathering cluster of people.

"Is this everyone?" the voice said. "Yes? Good. Well, I'm Hallie Klosse, I've been on the team for the past three years as a Chaser. To my left are Justin Albatram and Mitchel Finley, our Beaters. On my right is Maria Rowsey, our Keeper. We have three spots open, two for Chaser and for the Seeker, seeing as Sarah Hoover and Elias Worthington graduated," Hallie told the group, "Today, you'll be practicing your skills in both positions. To start, we'll be taking care of our Chasers. Justin, Mitchel, if you'll begin leading them in warmups."

"Right, everyone mount your brooms, ten laps around the Pitch," Mitchel said.

"But spread out first!" Justin cautioned as two people tried to assend at the same time and crashed into each other.

James took the first few laps slowly, but by the fifth lap, he was speeding as fast as he could, seamlessly dodging the others.

Sirius went as fast as he could the whole time, many time only narrowly avoiding colliding with other fliers.

Meanwhile on the field, Hallie was taking notes on a clipboard, watching the Gryffindors do their laps.

"Alright! Everyone back down!" she called after a few minutes.

The group complied, sinking slowly to the ground.

"Next we'll have another activity that's essential to Quidditch, whether you're a Seeker, a Chaser, a Keeper, or a Beater. Bludgers," Hallie said. "Our Beaters are going to let some loose and you'll have to dodge them, stay on your broom. You'll be up there about ten minutes. Alright? Everyone up."

"We're going to be attacked by bludgers?" a sixth year asked unsurely.

"Yeah, it's part of Quidditch," a seventh year answered.

"This'll be exciting," Sirius grinned.

"Until you get thrown off your broom and crack your head open," Fabian Prewett remarked grimly.

"Come on, Prewett, live a little."

Mitchel and Justin carried forward two wooden crates to the center of the pitch. In union, they raised their wands, muttered an incantation, and the bludgers bust from the crates.

The bludgers rocketed upward for the fliers, who immediately scattered.

Within the first two minutes, five people had been knocked out of the air and had to be taken to the Hospital Wing.

"Are you sure this is safe?" someone shouted as the fray thickened.

The bludgers weren't the only hazards, there were enough people that it took concentration to navigate through the air.

Halfway to the end of the ten minutes, Sirius and the seventh year collided head-on. The seventh year, being taller and burlier, wasn't harmed beyond a bloody nose.

Sirius wasn't so lucky.

James turned just in time to see him plummet off his broom. James paled, and without a second thought, he pulled into a dive for Sirius.

Sirius was free falling now, about fifty feet up from the ground. Forty, thirty-

That was when he was hit in the gut by one of the bludgers.

Falling off his broom then being hit by a bludger. Luck was definitely on his side.

Ten feet, five feet- instead of being hit by another bludger, he was hit by a cushioning charm.

"Ouch," Sirius groaned. "Guess I'm not on the team."

Hallie shook her head. "Sorry, but probably not. Maria, can you take him up to the Hospital Wing?"

"We can carry him up," Remus said. He and Peter had rushed, ashen faced, to the edge of the stands when they saw Sirius tumble off his broomstick.

"Thanks," Hallie told them. She helped Sirius hobble over to where Peter and Remus were standing.

"Sirius!" James shouted from above them. "Are you alright?"

"He'll be fine," Hallie assured him.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed, "I've had worse."

"We'll take care of him, you finish tryouts," Remus said.

James hesitated for a second, then said, "Alright. I'll come up when it's over."

"Okay," Sirius said. "I don't think I'll be going anywhere for the next two hours, Pomfrey isn't going to allow it."

"You've still got three minutes, James," Hallie told him.

"We'll see you after," Peter said.

James nodded, then threw himself back into the chaos above them.

"When we saw you falling, we thought you were going to die," Remus said shakily.

"Sorry to disappoint," Sirius said, mustering a weak grin.

"Try not to get yourself killed on us, alright?"

"If you insist."

They walked in silence for a minute, stepping into the castle and beginning to climb the first set of stairs.

"How'd you even get hit by that bludger after you fell?" Peter asked.

"Bad luck?" Sirius offered, wincing as he attempted to amble up the stairs. "I don't know, but that hurt. My mum might learn a lesson or two from those bludgers."

Meanwhile, Hallie had finally sent Justin and Mitchel to capture the bludgers. Only five Gryffindors were left relatively unscathed, James included.

"We have two more parts of tryouts left," Hallie told the group, holding up the Quaffle. "First, we'll be doing a scrimmage of sorts. You three on the left, you'll be one team. Maria, you'll go with you two there. The goal of this is to get as many points as you can in the next five minutes with your team. Any hoop works, no Keepers."

James couldn't hold back his small grin, this would be simple.

"I'll toss the Quaffle up, everyone ready yourselves."

James glanced towards his teammates; A pale, blonde fifth year and the seventh year that had knocked Sirius down.

"Ready…."

The six scrimmagers mounted their brooms.

"And…. Go!" Hallie tossed the Quaffle into the air and the scrimmagers shot up into the air.

James was the first to get the Quaffle. He snatched it from the air and sped for one of the sets of hoops, finding himself blocked by a brunette girl who made a grab for the ball. Without much of a choice, James threw the Quaffle backwards to the fifth year.

The fifth year caught it, though barely, rushed for the hoops, and chucked the ball, which was intercepted by the same girl who had blocked James.

With a grin, she turned and tried to make her way to the opposite side of the pitch to score.

James was the one that blocked her.

The scrimmage lasted twenty minutes and was followed by one last exercise; Catching the Golden Snitch.

"I've released three Snitches," Hallie told the group. "You'll be trying to catch them and return them to me. Go ahead."

James may not have been trying out for Seeker, but he was up to the challenge. Looking for a glimmer of gold, he took to the sky and began to circle the pitch.

The fifth year was the first to catch one, holding it up triumphantly when he did so.

One down, two left.

James was still glancing around, waiting for a flash of gold when he heard it; Just behind his ear, there was a soft whirring, like small wings flapping…. Small wings.

He whirled around and the Snitch darted away, but James followed.

It dove towards the ground, then made a sharp left and dashed upwards.

James kept his eyes locked on it the whole time, hardly aware that he was being followed by a few others.

Slowly but surely, he gained on the small ball. Five feet away, four, three- He stretched out his arm and grabbed the Snitch, skidding to a halt.

With a grin, James returned the ball to Hallie.

"Could be a Chaser or a Seeker," Hallie commented, a twinkle in her eyes.

"No Umbridge to stop me," James said.

After the tryouts, James made his way to the Hospital Wing.

"How'd you do?" Sirius asked him. "I was trying to watch, but then Pomfrey closed the window."

"Never mind me, are you alright? It looked like you were hit really hard," James said.

"Fine. Just got the wind knocked out of me," Sirius said. "I'll be out in a few minutes, whenever Pomfrey gets back."

"Brilliant. You'll be out in time for dinner."

"Definitely not going to miss that, the shepherds pie is delicious."

"Mr. Black, I want to give you one last look over, then you can go," Madam Pomfrey said, stepping out from her office and hurrying over to the bed.

Sirius sighed, but permitted her to look him over.

"You'll be fine, but stay away from the Quidditch Pitch for a bit," Pomfrey said sternly.

"Alright, I will," Sirius assured her.

"Diner is going to start in a few minutes," James said, "and unless you want Peter to eat all the shepherds pie, we should probably get down there now."

"Good idea, I'm starving."


	10. Halloween

The next week passed relatively uneventfully. James joined the Gryffindor Quidditch team and starting going to practices three times a week. Sirius got detention from Flitwick for using _diffindo_ inappropriately. (Snape lost about six inches of hair. James, Sirius, and Peter found this hilarious, Remus did not.)

At long last, it was Halloween, and the day of the Hogsmeade visit.

"I'll see you three later," Sirius said with a wink as he walked the others to the castle gates.

"See you later," James grinned.

"Mr. Black, I seem to remember you telling me that you didn't have a form," McGonagall said from behind the group.

"Yeah, I was just seeing everyone off, Minnie. And I was hoping I'd run into you, I haven't seen you in ages," Sirius said, turning to face her. "It's been so long."

"Mr. Black, you were in my lesson yesterday."

Sirius shrugged. "It felt like forever. Honestly, Minnie, you should reconsider, my proposal still stands. We can fit an extra bed into our dormitory-"

"Absolutely not, Mr. Black," McGonagall said.

"Not even hypothetically?"

"Hypothetically, don't you have an essay that's due Monday?" McGonagall prompted.

"Yes, Minnie," Sirius sighed. "Bye, guys." With that, he turned and left the corridor.

Fortunately, McGonagall didn't notice that he was going the opposite way of Gryffindor Tower. "Well, off you go," she told the cluster of students milling in the hall as they waited for permission.

The students surged forward and began the walk to the village.

The wind blew cool and crisp, the sun shone warm and bright. It was a good day to leave the school grounds.

"What do we want to do first?" James asked.

"The Three Broomsticks," Peter said. "You need to try the Butterbeer, it's delicious."

"We told Sirius that we'd meet him at Zonko's, though," Remus said.

"We can pick him up," Peter said.

Hogsmeade was made up of wooden-framed buildings and cobblestone roads. The shops sported brightly colored banners and posters advertising products. It wasn't quiet- far from it. The chatter of villagers and students filled the air.

"Get your pickled slugs here!"

"Twenty galleons for a Quidditch jersey, can you believe it?"

"Oi! I got you some firewhiskey!"

The village was bustling with activity.

James, Remus, and Peter jostled their way through the streets to Zonko's.

Zonko's Joke Shop was a favorite stop of Hogwarts students. From nose-biting teacups to dungbombs, it had almost anything a prankster could imagine. Being pranksters themselves, it was a must-stop for the Marauders.

Sirius wasn't there yet; He must have run into trouble trying to get there. Filch had probably been hanging around, looking for any rule breakers trying to sneak out.

"Come on, let's head in before it gets too crowded," Remus suggested.

"Aren't we supposed to wait?" Peter asked.

"Sirius can't fault us for getting a good look at our options and coming up with some plans, can he?" Remus said.

James grinned. "I don't think he can, let's go."

The inside of the shop was brightly colored and crowded with people. Large, orange shelves lined the walls, displaying products and prices. The center of the room had a number of tables that also sported pranking devices. The only spot without an overwhelming amount of mischief was the emerald green front counter.

"Three galleons for one hundred dungbombs!" James said blissfully, looking at an advertisement posted by the stack of dungbombs. "Wait, no, that's for April Fools Day only."

"They're advertising for April Fools already?" Peter said, surprised.

"We started planning in… February, maybe?" James shrugged.

"Yes, but it's _October_ ," Peter said.

"Never to early for some pranking, right?" someone called from behind them. Sirius was fighting his way through the crowd to get to the others.

"What took you so long?" Peter asked.

"It's a long passage," Sirius shrugged, "And you try sneaking out of the Honeydukes basement when the manager is down there."

"We need to come here April Fools, look at this," James said, showing Sirius the advertisement.

Sirius grinned. "That's brilliant. Imagine if we put those all in Filch's office!"

"We'd get detention," Remus said.

"Well, yeah," Sirius said, "but it would be worth it."

They were at Zonko's for an hour before they left, plotting and grinning.

"Now we have to get to the Three Broomsticks," Peter urged them as they made their way up High Street.

"As long as we have time for Honeydukes," Remus said.

"We've still got a few hours, we'll have time," Sirius said.

A minute later, they had ducked into the busy pub.

The Three Broomsticks was warm and noisy. Most of its wooden tables and booths were filled with people of all sorts. A number of them were Hogwarts students, though there were other witches and wizards. One girl they passed was speaking rapidly in German.

" _Dummkopf!"_ she admonished the boy at her table.

Two odd looking creatures- goblins, probably- were haggling over some coins in a corner.

A couple with two small children were attempting to keep the younger one from pouring their steaming drink over the eldest's head.

Behind the bar, a caramel-haired woman was chatting up a tall man with an odd sort of toga.

Sirius approached the bar. "Sorry to interrupt, but we'd like three- what were those drinks you said we should try?" he said, turning to Peter.

"Butterbeer," Peter said.

"Right. Three Butterbeers and a firewhiskey," Sirius said.

"A firewhiskey?" the woman asked dubiously. "I don't suppose you're over eighteen?"

"Of course I am," Sirius said, pretending to look offended. "What am I, a Hogwarts student?"

The woman laughed, knowing he was joking. "You're wearing a Gryffindor scarf, it isn't that easy to fool me," she said.

"Perhaps I'm feeling nostalgic."

The woman laughed again. "Tell you what, no firewhiskey, but a Butterbeer on the house."

Sirius sighed, grinning. "Alright, I guess that'll do."

The woman grabbed four pint glasses and disappeared to the back room.

"Firewhiskey?" Remus asked incredulously.

"Why not?" Sirius shrugged.

"You're underage, it's not allowed!" Remus protested.

"We're the Marauders, since when have we followed the rules?" Sirius said.

"Four Butterbeers," the woman said, placing the foaming amber colored drinks on the counter.

"Oi! Rosmerta, we need another Dragon Scale!" a man shouted from the front of the pub.

"Just a moment, Jarsdel!" the woman replied.

"Thanks," Sirius nodded, passing Rosmerta a stack of coins.

"Anytime," Rosmerta replied. "Just don't have anything too strong," she added with a wink, then hurried off to grab the Dragon Scale.

"Come on, let's get a table," Remus said, dragging the others away from the bar.

They seated themselves in a corner booth with a good view of the room.

"They've got all sorts here," James commented appreciatively, looking around.

"I think the only thing they're missing is a giant," Peter agreed.

"Hogwarts students, a Roman, some Germans, goblins, blood traitors, and a werewolf, they've got everyone," Sirius grinned.

Remus appeared vaguely amused, though he muttered quietly, "Not the place, Sirius."

Rather than replying, Sirius took a drink of Butterbeer. "This rivals Minnie's biscuits!" he said, surprised.

"It's brilliant, isn't it?" James agreed blissfully. "You were right, Peter, these are great!"

"Wish we had come when we snuck in last year?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, I wonder if the house elves have any in the kitchens," Sirius said.

"I think they do," Remus said.

"Really?" James said.

"Yeah, I've seen Albert Smith with flasks of it before," Remus said. "He was trying to smuggle it somewhere, he was coming from the direction of the kitchens."

"Next time we're there I'm asking if they've got any," Peter said.

They finished their drinks and made their way down the street to Honeydukes.

The shop was brightly colored and filled with different types of sweets. It was more crowded than Zonko's had been, which made it quite hard to move around. This meant that they were jostled around the room and involuntary separated.

James ended up by the section labeled 'Unusual Tastes,' Sirius by a man passing out samples, Remus the chocolate, and Peter by the 'Special Effects' shelving unit.

It took them a half hour to buy their sweets and get out of the shop, pockets bulging with sugar.

"We've got an hour before we have to get back to the castle," James said when the Marauders gathered outside the shop.

"We could see the Post Office, I've heard that's cool," Peter suggested.

"The Post Office? That'll be like the Owlery, let's do something else," Sirius said.

"Afraid it'll mess up your hair?" James asked.

"Yes. That's why we aren't going," Sirius said, giving James a look.

"Have you been to the Shrieking Shack?" a voice said from behind them.

The Marauders turned to see Lily standing behind them.

"The what?" Sirius asked.

"The Shrieking Shack," Lily said. "It's haunted, home to some particularly violent spirits. At night they shriek. Sev and I were just there."

"Sev?" James snorted. "I think you can do better than that, Evans. Why don't you-"

"No, Potter," Lily told him. She made to walk into Honeydukes.

"Oi! Evans!" Sirius called. "Which way?"

"Just outside the village, to the right."

"Thanks!"

"We're going?" Peter asked nervously.

"'Course, it's not everyday that you get to meet violent spirits," Sirius shrugged.

"Is it safe?"

"If Evans went, probably is," James said.

"This way," Sirius announced, and took off down the street.

"Right is the other way," Remus said.

"Yeah. I was just making sure you guys knew which way we were going," Sirius said, doing his best not to look sheepish.

The Shrieking Shack was a fifteen minute walk from where they were. No one was quite sure what to expect of it.

"It's probably old if any spirits have moved in," Remus guessed.

"With cobwebs," James added. "And loud noises.

"Sounds like my house," Sirius commented. "Bet my mum would love it there."

Peter was still having misgivings, so he didn't add much to the conversation.

The Shack wasn't exactly what they expected. It wasn't as old as they had thought, it seemed to have only been there for a few years. Its small windows were unevenly boarded up with wooden planks and there were only a few missing shingles.

There was a sharp intake of breath; Remus recognized that place, even from the outside.

"What is it?" James asked, having not made the connection.

"Oh," Sirius said quietly.

"This is where I go…." Remus trailed off.

"Oh," James said, getting it.

"Yeah," Remus said, sounding a bit smaller than usual. "Well, it's a good cover story."

"We'll fix it," Sirius said, reading his thoughts. "It's not always going to be like that."

They stared at the Shack in silence for a minute.

From behind them, the hum of voices reached their ears.

"Well, I reckon we've spent enough time here," James said, breaking their silence.

"Yeah," Peter agreed.

James, Sirius, and Peter turned and made to leave. Remus stood facing the Shack for a moment longer.

"Coming, Moony?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah," Remus said, and he turned to join the others.

The Marauders split up in front of Honeydukes so Sirius could sneak back into the castle using the passageway.

When they met up again in Gryffindor Tower, James made a big show of giving Sirius some Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. Sirius grinned and pretended to have missed them.

"You were gone _all day_!" he whined. "Snivellus wasn't even here to prank, it was boring!"

"Boring? Sirius Black was _bored_?" James exclaimed in fake shock.

"Yes, James, I was. Don't leave without me again!" Sirius insisted.

No one in the Common Room gave this dramaticized exchange a second thought.

At last it was time for the Halloween Feast. The occupants of Hogwarts made their way down to the Great Hall, which had been decorated for the event.

The usual floating candles had been replaced with Jack O' Lanterns that grinned with playful and menacing expressions. Live bats perched in the various crevices around the Hall.

It was enjoyable and there was no shortage of sugar. The Headless Hunt gave a performances of Horseback Head-Juggling and Head Polo towards the end of the feast, receiving scattered applause from some first years who looked like they were about to be sick, and roars of approval from the older students.

It was late when everyone retired to their Common Rooms, laughing, chatting, and pocketing sweets they had nicked from the Hall.

"Still bored?" James joked, turning to Sirius.

"Not a chance," Sirius grinned.


	11. The Boggart

November began with a plot to charm the Slytherin wardrobes various neon colors.

"Remember, If anyone asks, we're sleepwalking," Sirius reminded the others as they reviewed their plan in the Common Room.

"Why would we be sleepwalking with our wands out?" Remus asked. "If anyone asks, we were on our way back from the library and got lost."

"I doubt they'll buy that," James said.

"Why don't we just _not_ get caught," Peter suggested.

"I like how you think, Peter," James decided.

"Come on, curfew will be starting soon. We need to make sure everything is in place," Sirius urged the others.

When curfew had fallen, the Marauders snuck out of the Gryffindor Common Room under the invisibility cloak.

"What was the spell again?" Peter asked.

"You're doing _itero conmutatium_ ," Remus said.

"Quiet!" Sirius hissed.

"There's no one here," Peter protested.

Sirius gave him a look and gestured to the end of the corridor.

Mrs. Norris, Filch's cat, was prowling towards them, matted tail held high.

The boys were silent.

Mrs. Norris gave a soft mew.

"We're in trouble," Remus muttered.

"Only if we get caught," James replied.

They stopped talking immediately as Filch came around the corner wheezing.

"Where are they, my sweet?" Filch said.

Mrs. Norris mewed again and took a few more steps toward the boys.

"I know you're there," Filch said, following the cat. "I know there are students out of bed…."

Fortunately, it was a rather wide corridor, and the Marauders were able to move out of the way. They took a few tentative steps toward the wall, holding their breaths.

"You can't hide from me," Filch warned.

The boys were now parallel to Filch and the cat, who were only feet away.

Sirius attempted to move towards Mrs. Norris, but was tugged back by the others, causing a scuffing sound.

Filch and Mrs. Norris turned.

"Show yourself!" Filch demanded.

It was only a few more yards until the boys could turn the corner. Slowly and quietly as possible, they inched out of the corridor and hurried down the stairs.

"What was that for?" James questioned once they were out of earshot.

"Don't tell me you weren't tempted to kick Mrs. Norris," Sirius said.

James sighed. "Alright, that's understandable, but we can't get caught, otherwise we can't pull the prank!"

It took them another few minutes to creep to the cobblestone wall that led to the Slytherin Common Room.

"This is the right wall?" James checked.

"Yeah, it's got those scratch marks," Sirius said, pulling out his wand.

"We just point our wand at the spot, right?" James asked.

"Move it in a rectangular shape, that way it'll cover the whole area," Remus said. " _Dilucidus immutatio._ "

The other three copied the movement around the corridor with their individual spells.

"That should work," Sirius grinned.

The next morning, the Marauders watched the unusually empty Slytherin Table excitedly, waiting for someone to come in and sit down to breakfast. They sat waiting for about ten minutes before they got their wish.

About seven Slytherins trudged into the Great Hall. The their robes had been turned bright orange, and their hair was a clashing neon purple. The snake emblems they normally wore proudly had been transfigured into electric yellow lions and shockingly green words that read ' _courtesy of the Marauders_.'

Needless to say, they weren't very happy about it.

"Bloody Marauders," one grumbled.

"Stupid Gryffindors," another cursed.

Throughout the day, the state of the Slytherins' robes were a distraction to everyone.

The teachers did their best to refrain from making comments. The students, however, did not.

"Nice hair, Avery!" Fabian Prewett jeered as he passed a disgruntled looking Slytherin.

"Looking good," Gideon added, winking mockingly.

Avery responded attempting to jinx them. Unfortunately for him, the Prewett Twins were some of the better duelers in the school. He ended up in the Hospital Wing with puss-leaking boils over various parts of his anatomy and a long beak for a nose.

Overall, it was not a good day for the Slytherins.

The next day brought classes and homework that everyone knew would be late.

"Six feet of parchment?" Sirius whined as they left Charms. "That's twice the size of Flitwick!"

"Well, that's what we get for misbehaving," Remus shrugged nonchalantly.

"Don't tell me you're looking forward to it," James moaned.

"No, but it's not like he wasn't justified," Remus said.

"And it's due tomorrow!" Peter added.

"So we'll just have to pray we don't get anything in D.A.D.A."

"And when has praying helped anyone?" Sirius grumbled. "Merlin, tonight is going to suck."

They had arrived the the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Still muttering among themselves, they took their seats with the rest of the class.

"What's that?" James asked, gesturing to a wobbling, fraying brown case on Melior's desk.

"I don't know, I just got here," Sirius said, then he turned behind him. "Oi! Anyone know what that box is?"

"That is a briefcase," Melior said, striding into the classroom. "Surely you knew that, Mr. Black."

"I think he's developing a sense of humor," Sirius said to James.

"Well, being around us everyday does that," James grinned back.

"Quiet back there. The real question you need to be asking isn't what the container is, but instead, what is in there? Does anyone know?" Melior said, watching the class. "Any guesses?"

"A dark creature," someone offered from the left side of the room.

"A kappa," a boy in the front row guessed.

"Wait, it's an ashwinder!" one girl blurted out.

"Ashwinder?"

"Yeah, it's trying to get out!"

"Is it going to start anything on fire?"

Melior didn't say anything.

"A boggart," Marlene suggested from the back.

"Yes, very good, Ms. McKinnon," Melior said. "Can anyone tell me what a boggart is? Ms. Evans?"

"It's a shapeshifter that will take the form of whatever you fear the most," Lily answered confidently.

"Yes. And we have an advantage- does anyone know what it is? Mr. Potter?"

"There are loads of us. It won't know what form to take," James said.

"Yes. We'll be doing a practical lesson today. Everyone, line up, wands out," Melior instructed.

The class did as they were told.

"The incantation to defeat a boggart is simple: Riddikulus. However, it will also require force of mind. You need to find a way to make the thing you fear most amusing. Take a minute to figure out what you are most afraid of, then how to make it entertaining," Melior said.

A large fraction of the class had their eyes screwed shut and were muttering to themselves.

The rest of the class was eyeing the briefcase apprehensively, watching everyone else, or whispering with each other.

"What are you guys going to do?" Peter asked nervously. "I don't know-"

"You'll be fine," James assured him. "Just remember that it's fake."

"We'll be right back here if it's too convincing," Sirius said. "Moral support or something like that."

"Exactly like moral support," James said.

"You're making me sound sentimental," Sirius complained.

James laughed.

In the front of the room, the briefcase shuddered.

"Ms. Evans, you're first. Wand out," Melior said loudly, gaining the class' attention.

At the front of the line, Lily readied her wand.

The briefcase unlocked and opened.

Suddenly, there was a tall, horse-faced girl stepping out of the case. Seething, she turned on Lily.

"Freak!" she screeched.

"Riddikulus," Lily said, half whispering.

"To think you were my _sister,_ even for a moment," the girl continued. "A freak like you could never be my sister. You're an unnatural, wretched-"

"Riddikulus!" Lily shouted, this time more forcefully.

There was a sound like a cap being popped off a bottle and the boggart's form suddenly egg oozing down its face.

Lily grinned. It must have been a memory of hers.

"Well done, Ms. Evans, to the back," Melior said. "Ms. Jones, you're next."

The boggart morphed from the girl to a huge black spider. Jaws snapping, it advanced on 'Ms. Jones.'

"Come on, Hestia," someone muttered.

The girl was frozen for a second, then-

"Riddikulus!" Hestia Jones yelled, and with a flourish of her wand, the spider was flipped over, its legs tied together in a bow.

"Next, Mr. Prewett!" Melior commanded.

The Prewett Twins stood almost shoulder to shoulder.

"Only one of you, Mr. Prewett and Mr. Prewett," Melior said.

Fabian took a step back.

Gideon's boggart was odd; It was a half-slug, it seemed.

Fabian snorted. "Nice, brother."

"You're the one who's afraid of slugs!" Gideon protested.

"It's getting confused," Melior nodded. "Completely normal."

The boggart proceeded to turn into a chimera, which with a pop, became a severed hand, then a headless corpse. The corpse nearly scared Gideon senseless.

In the next few minutes, the boggart took the form of inferi, ghostly apparitions, heights, and towering waves before Peter was at the front of the line.

The lightning strike that had been the previous student's fear twisted until it was a large snake that towered over the class.

A few people gave sharp intakes of breath; The thing was massive.

"R-Riddikulus!" Peter said, and the snake twisted into a balloon animal.

Remus was next in line.

The balloon animal condensed into a white orb that hung before him in midair.

The class muttered confusedly. Why was he afraid of a crystal ball?

The Marauders shared a look, they knew what this was.

"Riddikulus!"

Nothing happened.

"We're right here," James whispered behind Remus.

Remus nodded and tried again. "Riddikulus!"

The moon rocketed behind Remus into Sirius' face, suddenly a snowball.

A few kids laughed.

Sirius cussed, glaring at Remus, who weakly smirked in reply.

The snowball peeled itself off Sirius' face and elongated into a boy. It wasn't just any boy, though.

It was himself.

Boggart-Sirius was exactly like the real Sirius, only this version of him donned Slytherin robes and a cruel smirk, quite unlike his usual playful grin. The most startling difference was his eyes. Cold, pale, and shining with hate.

The real Sirius' jaw went slack for a moment before tightening in resolve. "Riddikulus!" he roared.

The boggart's hair turned violently purple, it's robes flashed orange, the snake emblem became a brightly colored lion, and the words 'courtesy of the Marauders' were proudly displayed.

Sirius grinned feebly. It he had to be Slytherin, that was more like it.

James was up next.

The boggart became a roll of steel which wound itself tightly around James.

Quite a few people gasped or shouted in alarm.

"I'm just claustrophobic," James said, eyes flashing with fear as the steel became tighter. He tried to squirm out of its grasp to no avail.

"You might want to do the spell now, mate," Sirius told him. "We'd prefer you alive."

"Riddikulus!" James wheezed, and the steel became a rather ugly patterned rug.

The rest of the class passed without too many extreme fears, the worst being a huge gorilla on the top of a small building.

"What was that?" Sirius asked as they made their way to Care of Magical Creatures. "The gorilla thing."

"It's from a muggle movie," Remus said, only half listening.

"Oh, that's why it didn't make sense."

Care of Magical Creatures was only simple note taking, giving the third years time to continue talking about the boggart.

"That spider was huge, wasn't it? I thought it would eat Hestia then the rest of us," commented Dorcas Meadowes.

"Jones is afraid of a spider?" scoffed Evan Rosier.

"They've got four too many legs if you ask me," agreed Marlene McKinnon.

"Well, you'd better toughen up, spiders are nothing," one of Evan's Slytherin friends said.

"Are they? Have you ever been bitten by a black widow?" Dorcas asked.

"A what?"

"My point exactly."

"When James was being choked by that thing, that was a bit scary," someone said from the back of the class.

"I almost wish he had been choked by that thing, the boggart would have done us all a favor," Lily grumbled.

"You don't hate me that much, do you, Evans?" James called, glancing at Lily.

"Yes, I do, Potter," Lily said.

"Tough luck, mate," Sirius said. "Maybe you'd have better luck if you kissed her-"

"If you give him any ideas, Black, I swear I'm going to-"

"Hey, Lily, what's one of the distinctive markings of a Billywig?" Remus interrupted.

The rest of the class went relatively smoothly, ending before anyone was throttled. After that, the third years hurried off to their separate Common Rooms and activities.

James had Quidditch practice, leaving Sirius, Remus, and Peter to tackle Flitwick's essay.

"Six feet! It slavery, that's what it is!" Sirius shouted for the Common Room to hear. "I won't stand for it!"

"Yes you will, it's the homework," Remus said, much more calmly.

"Slavery!"

"Why don't you call it indentured servitude?" Remus offered. "Flitwick is teaching you, you're paying it back by doing his work."

"That's not what an indentured servant does," Sirius grumbled. "They… sweep floors or something fun like that."

"Would you prefer to do that _and_ the homework?"

"No."

"I didn't think so."

The three boys sat in silence for a few minutes as they jotted down anything they could.

They took a short break for dinner, where they met James.

"I've got to go out again, Hallie wants us in top shape for the match next week," he said. "I'll be up all night finishing that essay."

Peter decided that if he worked for any longer he would lose it, so he followed James to watch the practice.

Grudgingly, Sirius joined Remus in trying to finish the essay.

It was half-past eight when they decided that they had to take a break.

"I can't focus any longer," Remus sighed. "We've been at this for the past hour and a half and we still have half of it to go."

"You can usually focus on anything," Sirius noted. "I think that Flitwick has finally made you crack."

Remus didn't reply right away.

"Mate, you alright?" Sirius asked after a minute of silence.

"What? Yeah," Remus said. "I'm going to head up, it's late."

"It's not even nine. You're usually up doing something about now, not getting into bed," Sirius said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Remus insisted. With that, he gathered his things and hurried upstairs to the dormitory.

With a huff, Sirius followed him into the dorm. "You're not 'fine,' you've been acting oddly since this afternoon. What is it?"

"It's nothing," Remus said.

"Remus-"

"It's just that I can't escape it," Remus said, turning to face Sirius. "The fact that I'm a monster, that follows me everywhere. The Daily Prophet, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Care of Magical Creatures-"

"What happened in Care of Magical Creatures?" Sirius asked.

"Remember how the kneazles wouldn't go near me?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, but-"

It's because they could tell I wasn't completely human," Remus said bitterly, "Everything finds a way to remind me that I'm _not_ human, that I _don't_ deserve the half of what I get-"

"Exactly. You don't," Sirius said. "You don't deserve the hell you have to go through all the time. You don't deserve all this discrimination and hate."

"Sirius, I'm a werewolf, a _monster_."

"You're not a monster," Sirius said forcefully. "You're just a good person who bad things have happened to. That doesn't make you a monster, it doesn't make you evil."

There was a beat of silence.

Remus sighed. "You keep doing that. Reminding me."

"Anytime, mate," Sirius said. "Why don't we head down to the kitchens and grab something, then try and finish the essay? Food makes almost everything better."

"Alright," Remus said.

With that, they headed down towards the kitchens.

Half an hour later, they returned, Remus feeling significantly better. Sirius was right.

Food did make things better.

At least, for now.


	12. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw

The next weekend was Gryffindor's first match of the season. Set to play Ravenclaw, the competitive atmosphere inside Hogwarts rose gradually until Saturday, the day of the match.

Saturday morning dawned with fair weather for Quidditch. With mild cloud cover and only a slight autumn breeze, the conditions would be good.

"You'll be brilliant," Sirius assured James at breakfast, then added, "Score a goal on what's-her-name for me."

"Will do," James grinned, only slightly nervous.

The whole school was buzzing for the rest of breakfast. Plenty of people came up to James to wish him luck, making eating a bit difficult. However, he managed.

A half hour before the match was set to begin, Peter, Sirius, and Remus walked James down to the pitch.

"Here, have this, for luck," Remus said, passing James a small slab of chocolate.

"Thanks," James said.

"Do I get any chocolate?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"No, we just had breakfast," Remus said.

"But James got chocolate," Sirius protested.

Remus shrugged. "He's going to be playing Quidditch, he need some luck."  
"Please Moony?"

"If James wins, we can head down to the kitchens after the game," Peter suggested.

"Alright, fine. James, good luck. Win because not only Gryffindor House depends on it, but also because it'll get me food," Sirius said.

"I'll try," James said, then disappeared into the locker room.

Most of the team was already inside getting ready.

"Ready?" Mitchel asked.

"'Course, we'll be brilliant," James replied, pulling on his scarlet robes.

"Right, team, time for the pregame talk," Hallie said, striding into the room.

The other six players gathered around her.

"Ravenclaw has good offense and good defense. It won't be an easy match," Hallie said, "But I know that with our team, we've got a fighting chance. Maria, you're a brilliant Keeper, you've been getting even better, it'll be hard to get anything past you. Mitchel, Justin, you have some of the best aim in the school with those bats. Andrew, you're able to spot the Snitch from a mile away. Then James, Lucas, you two'll do well, too. Great offense."

"You're good, too," James said.

"And there's me," Hallie agreed. "Point is, we've got a good team. We're here to win this, and that's what we'll do."

The team gave a cheer in agreement.

"We've still got a while before the match begins," Lucas noted.

"Oi, then everyone to the board, let's go over some plays," Hallie said.

They spent the next twenty minutes reviewing different tactics and whatnot before they lined up and made their way out onto the pitch.

The spectators were divided half-and-half. The left section of the stands was clad in scarlet and gold, the right section sported blue and bronze.

"Welcome to our first Quidditch match of the season, Gryffindor against Ravenclaw!" the commentator called from the stands. "I'm Frank Longbottom, this year's announcer. Please join me in welcoming our two teams to the pitch!"

There was a roar from the crowd.

"For Gryffindor, Klosse, Potter, Liecht, Albatram, Finley, Rowsey, and Ominer! For Ravenclaw, Aubrey, Cresswell, Donner, Zliet, Sieger, Maine, and Harris!"

Approaching from the opposite side of the pitch was the Ravenclaw team. Their bright blue robes billowed behind them as they strode confidently forward to meet the Gryffindors.

Hallie and the broad-shouldered Ravenclaw captain shook hands.

"Mount your brooms!"

Both teams mounted their brooms, ready to lift off.

"Three, two, one, and they're off!"

The two teams shot skyward and the game began.

James lunged for the Quaffle that had been thrown into the air, snatching it, and speeding for the Ravenclaw goalposts.

"Potter grabs the Quaffle and is headed for the Ravenclaw goalposts. He was on the team last year, but was thrown off after some trouble with former Professor Umbridge. After a good performance in the one game he took part of, lots of people are glad he's back- and with good reason, he scores! Ten to nothing for Gryffindor!" Frank informed the crowd.

The Gryffindor supporters cheered, the Ravenclaw section moaned.

"Ravenclaw in possession, Aubrey with the ball. He passes to Cresswell- oh! Bludger nails Cresswell in the stomach, the Quaffle has been dropped! Klosse of Gryffindor looks like she's going to get it- no, Donner has the Quaffle, Ravenclaw is still in possession. For being new to the team, Donner has done really well. She's connected to the other Chasers- and look at that leap of faith! Donner throws the Quaffle over her shoulder, it's grabbed by Aubrey. They're streaking towards the Gryffindor goalposts, Aubrey throws it…. Blocked by Maria Rowsey of Gryffindor! Gryffindor in possession, Liecht passes to Potter, Potter to Klosse-"

James and the other Gryffindor Chasers we're racing down the pitch, dodging players and bludgers alike.

"Oi! Left!" Hallie shouted at James.

James complied and swerved to the left, diving beneath a Ravenclaw Beater.

"Klosse passes to Liecht, Liecht catches it, he's going- no, bludger to the back, hit by Zliet of Ravenclaw," Frank said, then continued, "But Liecht is still holding the Quaffle! The amount of perseverance that must be taking is astounding! Liecht manages to get the ball to Potter before worrying about his back. Potter passes to Klosse, Klosse throws, and it's blocked by the Ravenclaw Keeper Josephine Sieger."

The auburn haired Chaser from Ravenclaw grabbed the Quaffle and began to make for the Gryffindor goalposts, only to be blocked by James, forcing her to change direction.

"Oi! Number three!" James shouted to Lucas and Hallie, who were trailing him.

They nodded and took their possessions.

James feinted lunging for the Quaffle, forcing the Ravenclaw Chaser to dive down, where Lucas was waiting to snatch the Quaffle.

"Gryffindor tries to get the Quaffle, no such luck. Ravenclaw still has the ball, Donner to Cresswell, Cresswell back to Donner, to Aubrey- Aubrey scores, it's a tie, ten to ten!" Frank shouted.

The game continued for another few minutes without any scoring until a foul was called against the Ravenclaw Keeper.

"A penalty shot is awarded to Gryffindor because of a bit of Flacking from the Ravenclaw Keeper. For those of you who don't know, Flacking is when a Keeper sticks any part of their anatomy through their goalpost to prevent scoring. Klosse steps up to take the shot. She scores, twenty to ten for Gryffindor! Theses teams are well matched, I think it's safe to say now that the only way for one to win is for their Seeker to catch the Snitch. Still no sight of it, so the game continues with Gryffindor in possession- no, Ravenclaw, sorry."

The Ravenclaw Chasers were swerving to avoid the bludgers Mitchel and Justin were sending at them, managing to get another goal.

"And we're tied again, twenty to twenty- wait, no, it looks like Ravenclaw has scored again. Thirty-twenty for Ravenclaw. Gryffindor in possession, Klosse to Liecht, Liecht to Potter, Potter's going to pass it back to Liecht- no, Liecht is down, another bludger to the back. He's heading for the ground, ouch, you can see how much pain he's in. Madam Pomfrey's on her way down, he'll be alright. Now down a Chaser, Gryffindor is still in possession."

The Ravenclaw part of the stands was cheering wildly for their Beater. The Gryffindor section groaned and a collection of curse words came from the front of the stands about what the Ravenclaw Beaters could kiss.

"The Gryffindor supporters aren't all that happy about losing a Chaser. Potter and Klosse are going to have to make up for that, along with Ominer, their Seeker. The Ravenclaw supporters are thrilled- no, they're not, a well-aimed bludger from Finley of Gryffindor just nailed Maine."

As the game wore on another twenty minutes, there was no end in sight. Neither Andrew nor the Ravenclaw could find the Snitch. No one was complaining, though. Better a long game than one that lasted a minute.

Eventually, Hallie called a timeout.

"Timeout from the Gryffindor team," Frank said. "Probably to talk with Ominer about the Snitch. Ravenclaw would be well advised to do that as well."

Fourteen brooms sank to the ground and separated into their separate teams.

"Have you seen the Snitch at all?" Hallie asked, turning to Andrew.

"Three times, but then I've been blocked twice, and Harris grabbed the tail of my broom once," Andrew replied.

James ran his hand through his hair in annoyance. "He didn't get fouled," he said, frustrated.

"It was about ten minutes ago, when Ravenclaw scored, Longbottom was preoccupied," Andrew said.

"Mitchel, Justin," Hallie said, turning to the Beaters, "You need to knock every bludger you can at Harris, their Seeker."

"On it," Justin said.

"Maria, keep blocking. James, you and I are going to try and get some more goals. Andrew, it doesn't matter how you do it, but _make sure you get the Snitch_."

The team nodded spontaneously, mounted their brooms, and rose into the air.

"The timeout is over, and it's Ravenclaw in possession!" Frank said. "Donner to Cresswell, Cresswell tries to pass to Aubrey, but it's intercepted by Klosse! Klosse to Potter, nice dodge there. Potter tries to pass back to Klosse, but it's intercepted by Aubrey. On the other side of the pitch, Harris gets a bludger to the head from Albatram of Gryffindor!"

As the Ravenclaw Chasers turned to glance at their Seeker, James swooped from above them and snatched the Quaffle out of the blonde one's hands.

"Potter with the Quaffle, now Gryffindor is in possession!" Frank shouted.

James chucked the Quaffle towards the center goalpost.

The Ravenclaw Keeper just barely blocked it, but nobody paid any attention.

"He's seen the Snitch, Ominer is streaking towards the ground!"

The players all turned to watch as Andrew grabbed the small winged ball.

"I've got it!" he called.

The stands erupted.

The Gryffindors were thrilled; It had been a long game, and it had been worth it. The Ravenclaws less so, but no one could deny that it had been a good game.

"Gryffindor wins, two hundred and ten to seventy!" Frank announced.

The players sank to the ground, where Hallie gestured for the Gryffindor team to join her in the locker rooms.

"Brilliant work," Hallie complemented the team. "Absolutely brilliant. Mitchel, Justin, nice work with the bludgers. Maria, you blocked most of their shots. Andrew, that was a great catch. James, you had a number of good goals."

"Where'd they take Lucas?" Mitchel asked as he tucked his bat into a locker.

"I saw Pomfrey escorting him to the Hospital Wing, we should go tell him how it went later," Hallie said.

A few people nodded in agreement.

When James came out of the locker rooms, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were waiting.

"Nice job," Remus told him.

"Nice job? That's what you say to him? Mate, you did brilliant!" Sirius crowed.

"Yeah," Peter agreed excitedly.

"Thanks," James grinned.

"You know what we're going to do to celebrate?" Sirius asked.

Remus sighed.

"We're going to the kitchens! And this time, Moony, James won't be the only one who gets chocolate."

"Brilliant," said James. "When do we plan on going?"

"Now," said Sirius.

"They're serving lunch right now," said Remus.

"So we'll have our own private lunch."

The boys made their way down to the kitchens, chatting eagerly about all manner of things.

"Did you see the Ravenclaw Seeker? He was cheating, I saw him grab at Ominer's broom," Sirius said.

"I didn't see it, but apparently that's why we didn't catch the Snitch earlier," James said.

"We should do a prank with a Snitch," Peter said.

"Good idea, what should we do?" James asked.

"We could tamper with one, make it follow one of the teachers around," Remus said.

"Public menace," Sirius muttered.

"Sorry, what?" Remus said innocently.

"There was an article in the Daily Prophet. I don't know if you saw it," Sirius said, changing the conversation.

"About what?" James asked.

"Apparently," Sirius said, "Sleekeazy's is launching a new product-"

"Talk about something else, please," James pleaded.

"Oh, come on James, it's quality hair care-"

"Guess what Evans said during the match," Peter said.

James perked up. "Yeah?"

"'Potter's not too bad at this, I'll give him that,'" Peter quoted.

James grinned.

"Then she proceeded to say, 'he's got the perfect attitude for a Quidditch player: Arrogant and cocky,'" Remus said.

"It's improvement," James decided. "I knew she'd come around."

"She hasn't come around," Peter said.

"She hasn't come around _yet_ ," James said.

"Yet. Sure, mate, keep hoping," Sirius said.

The Marauders turned a corner and were faced with the oil picture of a bowl of fruit.

"We're here!" Sirius announced, "And I'm getting my chocolate." He stepped forward, tickled the pear, and stepped into the kitchens as the picture swung inward.


	13. A Plan Executed

"I've found it, the instructions for a Howler," Lily said, hurrying over to where the Marauders where working on a particularly difficult Defense Against the Dark Arts essay.

"You did?" Sirius asked, essay suddenly abandoned.

"There were loads of books on magical methods of communication, but none of them explained how to make a howler, except for this one," Lily said, holding up a thin blue book.

"' _Making A Howler: Ten Charms to Chew Out The Recipient,_ '" Remus read.

"We need to charm it a bit, then record the message," Lily explained.

"How do you record it?" Peter asked.

"We'll get to that later," Lily said, waving him off. "For now, I'm going to start practicing some of these, you four need to write a script or something."

"Brilliant, let's get started," James said, rising from his chair.

Sirius and Peter made to follow.

"Not yet, we need to get another five inches of this done if we want to finish it on time," Remus said.

Peter sighed and took his seat again.

"Oh, come on, Moony. What's more important; Essays or getting Umbridge back?" Sirius said.

"The essays. Without doing the essays, then we'll be thrown in detention, and that won't get us anywhere."

"Fair point. Fine, you win."

"Great, now sit down. You too, James."

"I'll get going on the charms, they might take a while," Lily said, then hurried up to the girls' dormitories.

It took just under an hour for the Marauders to finish the five inches. Directly after that, they slipped into their dorm and began scribbling things down.

"Well, we've got to accuse her of abuse and whatnot," James listed, pulling out some spare parchment to take notes.

"We're calling her a soulless toad," Sirius continued.

"Signing it 'courtesy of the Marauders,'" Peter added.

"And we'll be doing all of this in a logical, relatively calm way," Remus decided.

"We'll comment on her nauseating cardigans," Sirius said.

"And the cat plates," Peter reminded him.

"That goes without saying," Sirius agreed.

"But we'll be focusing mainly on the abusive section of her regime," Remus said.

"Brilliant. I think we've got it," James grinned.

"Right, since I'm poetic, James, you're going to write down what I say. Got it?" Sirius said.

James nodded and positioned his quill and the top of the parchment.

"Not-So-Dear Dolores, remember us? We just wanted to tell you that you're a soulless toad with a talent for making us want to commit murder, although I'd settle for sticking my wand up your-"

"That is not poetic," Remus interrupted.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked. "I thought it was bloody well perfect."

"We're not sending that to her," Remus said, shaking his head.

"Do you have a better idea?"

"Yes, actually."

"Let's hear it, then."

It took another hour before specific phrasing could be grudgingly agreed on.

At long last, the Marauders were able to go to Lily with a plan. Or, at least, try to go to Lily.

James was the first to attempt to mount the girls' dormitory staircase. He got up a quarter of the way before the stairs collapsed upon themselves, forming a slide. James' feet slipped, and he tumbled down the ramp.

"I think you've broken the stairs," Peter noted as James stood.

"It wasn't me, the stairs did that on their own!" said James.

"I bet there's a charm put on them," said Remus. "We won't be able to get up."

"Maybe _James_ here can't, but I certainly can," said Sirius. He made for the ramp, attempted to climb it, and promptly slid back down.

"No, you certainly can't," said James.

"Oi! Evans!" Sirius shouted, ignoring him.

It was a moment before Lily poked her head out of the dorm. "Yeah?"

"We finished the script," James said.

"Alright-" Lily made to come down the stairs. She didn't notice that the stairs were no longer there, and slipped, letting out a string of curse words.

"It was James," Sirius said before she could demand an explanation.

"It was Sirius," James said in response to that.

"It was James," Peter said simply. "He tried to climb the staircase."

"I can see that," Lily muttered, getting to her feet.

"Anyway, here, read this over." Sirius passed her a piece of parchment. "If you don't like it, I've got another idea."

Remus sighed. "We already said no to that one-"

" _You_ said no, James and Peter had no objections," Sirius pointed out.

"What was the other one?" Lily asked.

Sirius repeated his idea.

"As much as I agree, absolutely not," Lily said. "This written version is good. I can have the charms worked out by next week. Then we'll record it and everything."

"Brilliant," James said.

The week seemed to last longer than it probably did. They were all anxiously awaiting the chance for them to get back at Umbridge, maybe beat her once and for all.

The Marauders and Lily couldn't spend all their time trying to get back at her, though. On top of that, there was homework and class work. Along with that, James had Quidditch practice each week. None of the teachers let them off easy. As far as they were concerned, the boys and Lily were simply failing to devote enough time to their studies, with the exception of McGonagall, who had pulled the five into her office after lessons.

"You know what to do. Have a biscuit," McGonagall said.

Sirius snatched one off of her platter and took a bite. "We should get in trouble more often," he said blissfully.

"You most certainly should not, Mr. Black," McGonagall said. "Please don't eat all of those. Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans, have a biscuit."

James and Lily each grabbed a biscuit politely.

"Now, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Pettigrew, Mr. Lupin, Ms. Evans. Would you be able to explain to me why you've begun to fall behind in your studies?"

"Well, Minnie," Sirius said cheerfully, reaching for another biscuit, "hypothetically, we've decided to give Umbridge what she deserves."

"Hypothetically, would you mind explaining?"

"After she put that article out in the Prophet," James said carefully, "we decided that we needed to get back at her. No one messes with the Marauders and gets away with it, hypothetically, of course."

Lily gave him a pointed look.

"The Marauders and any hypothetical accomplices," James amended.

"Hypothetically, what do you plan on doing?" McGonagall asked.

"We're going to use a Howler, make it go off when she's in a meeting or something, accuse her of using the blood quills and whatnot," Remus said.

McGonagall nodded.

Sirius took another biscuit.

"Mr. Black, please leave some biscuits for any other classmates of yours that might be visiting here later," McGonagall sighed, though her pursed lips hid a smile.

"Anything for you, Minnie," Sirius winked.

"Hypothetically, I'd start working on the Howler," McGonagall said, turning to Lily.

"I've already started," Lily said.

Sirius elbowed her.

"Hypothetically," she added with a sigh.

"Then I suggest you continue," McGonagall said. She led them to the door. "Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew, you're free to go now. Ms. Evans, if you could stay for a minute…."

By the middle of November, Lily had perfected the charms required for the Howler.

They were all eager to do it, to finally send it, but they still needed the times when Umbridge would be in any meetings at the Ministry.

It was time to see how easy it would be to get the information.

Sirius and James already gins to McGonagall, and Remus had tried with Flitwick.

"We've got to talk to Slughorn," Lily said eventually.

"I'm not, we already spend enough time with him during class," James said.

"He's not that bad," Remus shrugged.

"I'll do it during Potions," Lily said.

"Have fun," Sirius told her.

Lily rolled her eyes and stalked off.

The next day at lunch, Lily updated them on Umbridge's schedule.

"Slughorn said he'd ask an old student," she informed the boys. "He thinks her schedule is pretty open."

"How'd you get him to tell you that?" Peter asked.

"Favoritism," Lily said.

"If it was favoritism, he would have told Snivellus back there the recipe for that poison the other day," Sirius said, jabbing his thumb towards the Slytherin table.

"His name is Severus, and you're right, it's wasn't completely favoritism," Lily said irritatedly. "I told him I had a question about some assignments from last year that I was looking through."

"He bought that?"

"Since when have I done anything to make me seem that it's not for school purposes?" Lily asked innocently.

Remus snorted.

"What?" Lily said.

"Lily Evans and Sirius Black, the 'angels' of Hogwarts," Remus said with a smirk.

"Black an angel?"

"Of course. What did you think I was, a Marauder?" Sirius said, looking absolutely serious.

"Well, that's what you've dubbed yourself, isn't it?"

"Lily Evans, I am deeply offended that you have accused me of such a crime!" Sirius said dramatically, faking a look of betrayal. "How could you? I am most certainly an angel! When would I ever attempt to get a teacher fired like those devilish Marauders did?"

"Maybe because she was torturing people?" Lily offered dryly.

Sirius dropped the act. "You were in on it too, you're just as much of an angel as I am."

"When did we even get started on this?" James asked.

"Now Sirius isn't the only one who insists on his innocence, Lily's in on it too," Remus explained.

"I think we've gotten to her, mates," James grinned. "Evans, you're turning into a Marauder."

"I am not!" Lily protested, her voice gaining a sharp edge to it.

"You're enjoying it at least a little, admit it," Sirius said.

"I'm not admitting anything."

"Aha!" James cried. "If you're not admitting anything, that means there's something to admit."

"I don't- there's-" Lily gave a huff. "I hate you, Potter."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do."

Sirius smirked. "Come on, Evans, you know you want to-"

"Sod off, Black," Lily told him, scowling. "The hate extends to you, too."

"Thanks, I was starting to feel left out-"

Lily gave them a last glare before leaving.

"I, for one, think that went well," Sirius said, watching Lily exit the Great Hall.

"I, for one, think that could have gone better," Remus said.

"How long do you think until we've got the information about Umbridge's schedule?" Peter asked, changing the conversation.

"A few days at most," James said.

"I think a week at most, a few days at the least," Remus said. "I'm sure there's plenty going on with the Ministry right now."

Remus must have been right; They didn't get anything until the middle of November.

"Really? When's her next meeting?" James asked when Lily came to give them the news in the Common Room.

"Tomorrow morning, at about nine," Lily said.

"Tomorrow morning?" Sirius asked. "We've got to get going!"

"We'll take care of it tonight," Lily said. "When everyone else is asleep and won't notice us talking to a piece of paper."

"Or we could just go up to the dorm," Peter suggested.

"Yeah. Let's just get it done with," James agreed.

Lily shook her head. "We've got class, I'm not missing History of Magic, we're supposed to be learning about the goblin revolts today."

"You _want_ to go to History of Magic?" Sirius asked incredulously. " _That_ class?"

"Yes," Lily said defensively.

Sirius and James exchanged a look of disbelief.

"How- but that- that's History of Magic!" James protested. "How can you _enjoy_ that?"

"How can you not?"

"Binns!"

"He's not that bad-"

"I've fallen asleep loads of times in that class, how are you enjoying it? How do you even stay awake?"

"Maybe she's watching you sleep, mate," Sirius offered.

"Do you want my help with the Howler or not?" Lily snarled.

"Yes, we do," Remus said, then shot a pointed look at Sirius.

"Alright, fine," Sirius grumbled, backing off.

"I'm going to grab my books and get some breakfast. I'll see you after classes," Lily said, then left the Common Room.

"So we'll be sending the Howler tonight?" Sirius said. "It's about time, she's gotten off for too long."

"I wonder what the Ministry will do to her if they think she's guilty," James said.

"Worst case scenario," Remus said thoughtfully, "would be a few years in Azkaban. Best case scenario, she'll have a fine. If it's not one of those, she might be demoted from whatever position she's in, or she'll be fired."

"Brilliant," James nodded. "It'll serve her right."

"Which one?" Remus asked.

"Any of them," James said casually.

That night, as most of Gryffindor Tower retired to their individual dormitories, the Marauders and Lily met.

"Here it is," Lily said, holding up a neatly folded piece of parchment.

"How do we do it?" James asked.

"There's one last charm I'll do," Lily explained, "and when the paper turns black, then we'll start talking. When we're finished, it should turn a reddish color and fold itself into an envelope."

"Is everyone ready?" Remus checked.

"Yeah," Sirius said. "No one wants to back out?"

No one did.

"Right, I'm going to do it," Lily said. "Three, two, one…."


	14. The Howler

It was a crisp and cool morning. A perfect day.

Clad in her usual pink cardigan, heels, and bow perched neatly atop her brown curls, Dolores Umbridge walked briskly through the Ministry's lobby.

She was in a good mood, no doubt about it. The previous day she had been given a bonus, which she had used to buy some new china kitten plates. It was difficult to be unhappy when you were sitting smugly in an office where you were surrounded by mewing kitten plates.

On top of that, she'd ordered a customized set of quills. Petal pink feathers with thulian colored ink.

Yes, that would do nicely for her office.

These thoughts followed Umbridge as she made her way to the elevator.

"Morning, Dolores," a man in the lift greeted her.

"Good morning, Albert," Umbridge said, returning the greeting in a high-pitched, girly voice.

With a jerk, the lift began to move.

After a minute or so of silence, a woman's automated voice announced, "Second Floor, Department of Magical Law Enforcement." The door to the elevator slid open, and Umbridge stepped into the black brick hallway.

Her heels clicked on the polished floors as she strode past a number of dignified looking doors. When she arrived at the third door on the left side, she twisted its golden plated door knob, opened the door, and stepped inside.

There was a nicely sized convention of about fifteen other witches and wizards, all dressed nicely. They were all taking raised seats in a omega-shaped booth, looking judgmentally towards a chair that sat in the center of the room.

Umbridge made her way past the chair and took her seat in the center of the omega, nodding curtly to the people on either side of her.

Once the whole convention had taken their seats, Umbridge spoke:

"Bring him in."

The door opened and a man was escorted inside, accompanied by two Ministry employees.

Through the door also came a tawny owl.

Some of the members of the convention muttered among themselves.

"How'd that get in?" one wizard asked quietly. "I thought there was a no owl policy."

"There is," another person confirmed.

The owl went straight for Umbridge, dropping a scarlet red letter in front of her.

A Howler.

She glanced at who it had been addressed to.

 _Former Professor Dolores Umbridge_

Umbridge looked at the letter with a sour expression masking her alarm.

It didn't look as though it was ready to go off quite yet. If she finished the trial quickly, she could open it privately. Anyway, the man was already seated. She couldn't come in late, she'd have to wait until this was finished.

"What is your name?" Umbridge began, ignoring the letter as best she could.

"Simon Liems," the man answered, glancing nervously around the chamber.

"Do you know why you have been brought here?"

Liems nodded.

"You have been accused of using magic in the presence of a muggle for something as unnecessary as a prank," Umbridge said, lip curling as she remembered the last time she had been pranked. "Do you deny it?"

"Yes," Liems said.

Denying doing a prank. She was disliking this man more and more.

"And what is your proof?"

"Well, ma'am, I haven't got-"

The Howler rose into the air and with a loud sound, tore itself open.

"Former Professor Umbridge," the almost unmistakable voice of James Potter said with false cheerfulness. "We just wanted to check in with you. See how things are going."

The voice changed. "Have you been enjoying our gift to you? I'm sure you remember the tea cups," Remus Lupin commented. It sounded as though he was grinning.

"Also, are you still wearing those nauseating cardigans?" Peter Pettigrew piped in.

The people in the chamber were looking everywhere but at Umbridge; The situation was so absurd and unexpected that if they did, they knew they would have to stifle laughs.

"On a much more _serious_ note," Sirius Black began.

It sounded as though someone was groaning in the background of the message.

There was a pause, then he continued sharply, "We'd like to ask you to leave Hogwarts and it's students alone as you're no longer a teacher here."

"It was bad enough," a girl said angrily, "that you tortured us with those blood quills. But then you had to go off spreading rumors to try and get someone expelled."

With a start, Umbridge realized that must have been the redhead- Evans, her name was.

Around the room, people began to glance at each other uneasily. Blood quills?

Then the shouting started.

"I SWEAR BY _MERLIN'S BLOODY PANTS_ THAT IF YOU HURT _ANYONE_ I CARE ABOUT AGAIN, YOU'LL PAY FOR IT!" Potter roared. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A TEACHER, NOT A TORMENTOR!"

"I second that!" Pettigrew added in.

"I third it!" Lupin agreed.

"I'll fourth it!" Evans said, then began to raise her voice. "I usually don't agree with these idiots, but Former Professor, you are a SOULLESS, OBNOXIOUS, AND WITLESS TOAD! YOU MADE ME USE THOSE QUILLS EVERY TIME I WAS IN DETENTION WITH YOU! AND NOT JUST ME, BUT A GOOD FRACTION OF HOGWARTS TOO! YOU EVIL GIT!"

"NOT TO MENTION YOUR RECENT ACTIVITY!" Potter yelled. "YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ACCUSATIONS!"

"So, Dolores, we'll give you a choice. Leave Hogwarts and all of its students alone, or you'll be getting more than a Howler," Black warned. Instead of shouting like Potter or Evans, he said this in a dangerously low voice that made an involuntary chill go down Umbridge's spine.

"Have a nice day," Lupin said pleasantly.

"Just remember," Pettigrew said, just as cheerfully.

"This day was brought to you Courtesy of the Marauders!" Potter exclaimed. He sounded about as friendly as the others, but you could hear the anger laced in his voice.

"And an acomplance," Evans added.

"So long, Professor!" Black finished.

With a pop, the letter tore itself up, the pieces falling into Umbridge's lap.

She looked at the pieces as though they were bombs about to explode.

"Would you care to explain, Dolores?" a witch on the right side of the room asked tentatively.

"This meeting has been adjourned," Umbridge said quickly. With all the dignity she had left, she rose from her seat and hurried out of the room.


	15. A Combination of Headlines and Sprinkles

Two mornings after the Howler had been sent, the headline in the Daily Prophet made the Marauders and Lily grin widely.

 **FORMER HOGWARTS PROFESSOR ACCUSED OF ABUSE**

 _A former teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is currently under investigation for abuse. Yesterday morning, a Howler addressed to Dolores Umbridge, a former teacher of Defense Against the Dark Arts, was opened in front of one of the Ministry of Magic's courts._

 _The Howler claimed that Umbridge had been using a blood quill as a method of punishing students when they were in detention._

 _Blood quills are a type of quill enchanted with dark magic. When written with, the ink used is blood, causing the message being written to etch itself on the hand of the user. The use of these quills is highly regulated, though some people sell them on the black market._

 _Would Dolores Umbridge, a disciplinary figure from the Ministry, use one of these quills? If so, did she buy them on the black market?_

 _Umbridge could not be reached for comment._

 _Another mystery is the identity of whoever sent the Howler._

 _The Howler was reportedly from a group who has dubbed themselves as "the Marauders."_

 _According to a search of Umbridge's office, this group has been at work before. Parchment with the words "courtesy of the Marauders" was found in one of Umbridge's desk drawers._

 _All the Ministry is able to be clear on is that they are not a new organization and they were involved with Umbridge when she taught at Hogwarts. The Ministry is convinced they were or are students, based on a transcript of the Howler._

 _The transcript can be found on page three._

 _What happened? Did Umbridge really use blood quills? Who are these Marauders?_

 _Until there is more information, it's up for you to decide._

"It's by a Cathrine Skeeter, isn't there a girl at Hogwarts with that last name?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, she's a seventh year. Rita, I think her name is. Best friends with Bertha Jorkins," James said.

"Whoever wrote it, I believe that we've succeeded," Remus noted. "She's under investigation."

"Well," Sirius decided, "I think this calls for a celebration. Evans, pass the pumpkin juice."

Lily passed Sirius the pumpkin juice, which Sirius poured into five glasses and passed out.

"To that Howler," James toasted.

"And to the Marauders!" Sirius added.

"And their accomplice," Lily said.

The five made to raise their glasses when Marlene and Alice interrupted, sitting by Lily.

"You're toasting the Marauders?" Alice asked.

"Oh, er, yeah," Peter said awkwardly. "Yeah, I mean, they got Umbridge in trouble…."

"They're giving her her comeuppance, she's had it coming," Remus said casually.

"It's a cause for celebration," James said seriously.

Marlene and Lily shared a glance.

"She left though, didn't she?" Alice said, "I mean, she hasn't really done much to Hogwarts since then. Well, except for that accusation against the school, but no one at the Ministry took that really seriously."

"As far as I know, they weren't very _Sirius_ about it here at Hogwarts either," Sirius said, "I wasn't _aware_ of any good puns…."

Remus shot him a look.

Sirius shrugged, hiding a grin.

The girls rolled their eyes.

"You need to find better puns," Marlene said.

"What, I'm not doing good enough? There were two in one," Sirius protested. "I thought I was doing well."

"You're bloody awful."

"Anyway," James said, "if we could get back to our toasting, that would be great."

"Mind if we join?" Marlene asked.

"Sure," Lily said.

"You join if you want, I forgot my books in the dorm," Alice said. "I'll be back." She stood and left the Great Hall, grabbing a muffin on her way out.

"So," Marlene said, "There was an accomplice involved?"

"Evans was happy to help out," Sirius said. "I think she was looking for quality time with James over here."

"How many times do I have to tell you to sod off?" Lily grumbled. "I have no interest in Potter."

"Someday you will," James said confidently.

"I'm your dreams."

"You would be surprised how accurate that is," Sirius smirked.

"There was a toast going on?" Remus prompted before things got out of hand.

"To that well deserved Howler," Marlene said, raising a glass she had poured for herself. "But don't let it get to your heads, Marauders."

"So it's allowed to get to hers?" James asked, gesturing to Lily.

"Of course it is, I'm not a Marauder. I've survived a few months of working with you outside of class, that's difficult," Lily said.

"Only if you don't have a sense of humor," Sirius said.

"And when I think that they're not so bad after all," Lily sighed.

"We're not! Or, at least, I'm not!" James protested.

"You're the worst, Potter. Of all of you, I think Remus might be the best," Lily said.

Marlene nodded. "Agreed."

"He's a public menace!" Sirius exclaimed. "He's the mastermind behind all the pranks!"

"No, I'm not," Remus said innocently.

"He is," Peter nodded.

"See! Listen to Peter, he knows what he's talking about," Sirius agreed.

"I'll believe it when I see it," Marlene said.

"You already have, the ashwinders were his idea!"

Marlene shook her head doubtfully.

"Why are you lying all the blame on me?" Remus asked, sounding quite amused.

"Because it's your fault!"

"Innocent until proven guilty," Remus chastised, almost jokingly.

Sirius huffed, giving up.

"Well, nice job, you lot," Marlene said, rising, "but same as Alice, I've forgotten my books upstairs. I'll see you later."

"Here, I'll come with," Lily said.

Together, she and Marlene left the hall.

"Now that they're all gone," James said, "I propose a prank."

"What sort of prank?" Peter asked.

"I don't know, but something we haven't done," James said.

"I have an idea," Sirius said.

"What?" Remus said.

"What if we filled the Great Hall with something. Like pumpkin juice," Sirius suggested.

"That might be a little messy."

"What about something less messy… like sprinkles," Peter offered.

"Whoever filled a room with sprinkles?" James said.

"There are muggles that do it sometimes, and no one's ever done it at Hogwarts," Peter said.

"Where would we get the sprinkles?"

"I'm sure the kitchens have some," Remus said, "and there's probably a charm we can use to fill the Hall, I can check in the library."

"Yeah, you do that. Sirius, Peter, and I will stay out of there and check the kitchens," James said.

"When do we want to do our prank?" Peter asked.

"Tomorrow night, if we've got everything ready by then," Sirius decided.

James, Remus, and Peter nodded.

"Alright, well, Moony, off to the library. The rest of us will be in the kitchens-"

"We don't have enough time, it's a Wednesday. Class starts in twenty minutes," Remus said.

"We can skip class," James said.

"No, we can't," Remus corrected.

Because of Remus' insisting, they didn't visit the kitchens until after classes.

"We could have been half way done with this if we had just missed History of Magic," Sirius grumbled as he tickled the pear and stepped inside.

"Well, you know how he is about lessons," James shrugged, following.

Inside the kitchens, the house elves were bustling about, hurrying to prepare the dinner for the night. Despite their rush, when they saw the boys, they crowded around them excitedly.

"What can we do for you messers?" one elf squeaked.

"Messrs... I like that," Sirius murmured to himself, then spoke up. "Right, we need some sprinkles."

"Sprinkles, sir?" the elf asked.

"Yeah, we need…." He glanced back at James and Peter.

"A few containers of small ones," Peter said.

The elves nodded, and a few of them broke off from the group.

"They're so helpful," James commented.

A few of the elves in the front beamed in response.

"Can we get you anything else?" the frontmost one asked hopefully.

"Er, I don't know-" James started.

"We'll take some Butterbeer," Sirius decided. "Four glasses."

As some more house elves scurried off, the elves that had gone to grab the sprinkles returned.

"Here is some sprinkles," the smallest elf said, holding up a teetering tower of sprinkle containers.

"Thanks," James said, taking the pile from the elf.

The boys only waited another minute before the flasks of warm Butterbeer were ready. Then, they made their way to the library, where Remus was jotting down something on a piece of parchment.

"Here," Sirius said, setting down a flask of Butterbeer next to him, which clanged loudly as it hit the table.

Remus glanced up from his writing. "Thanks. Do you have the sprinkles?"

"Yeah," James said, holding up a few containers.

"Did you find the spell?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, I'm just writing down the theory and whatnot. It'll be harder to trace anything back to us if we don't check out the book," Remus said.

"Brilliant!" James said. "We should have thought of that in first year, then we wouldn't have been caught by Minnie."

"I thought of it then, but you insisted on doing the research on your own," Remus said.

Before James could defend himself, there was a shriek.

" _No_ _food in the library!_ " Madam Prince screeched. " _Out, out!_ "

The Marauders grabbed their things quickly and rushed to the corridor outside.

Prince gave them a bird-like glare before shutting the doors behind them.

"Also," Remus said, "if that happens, we still have the information."

"This is why we have you do the research now," Sirius said. "You've thought of everything."

By Friday evening, the plan was set and they were ready to execute it.

"Everyone has their sprinkles?" James checked.

The other three nodded and held up the brightly colored containers.

"And you're sure the spells worked?" Peter asked, turning to Remus.

"Positive," Remus said, without any hesitation.

"Then we should be good to go," Sirius said. "Let's be ready to make some mischief!"

Not long after, in the Great Hall, people were enjoying their food. The clatter of forks and knives mixed with the sounds of talk and laughter. It was a meal like any other.

Until the Marauders began the prank.

Under the table, they unscrewed the lids off the sprinkle containers. With hidden grins, they poured the sprinkles onto the floor, so that they touched the feet of the other dining Gryffindors around them.

And the chaos began.

Every sprinkle that touched someone multiplied faster than they could blink. Before they knew what was happening, the Gryffindor table was rising atop a growing mound of rainbow sprinkles.

There were a few shouts as people realized what was happening, but it was too late. The sprinkles from the Gryffindor mound began rolling towards the other tables. Within no time, the Great Hall was a sea of colorful sugar. And it was still growing.

"We're going to suffocate!" someone shouted. "We'll hit the ceiling!"

This caused a bit of panic amongst the students and the teachers. Flitwick and Slughorn could be seen exchanging worried looks, and the students were shouting in alarm.

Then- it stopped. With all four house tables mere yards from the starry ceiling, the sprinkles ceased their multiplying.

The Hall grew quiet as everyone looked around at the room. It was silent until Dumbledore, with a twinkle in his eye, began to chuckle.

"Well done, to whoever has done this," he said, giving a light, knowing glance in the direction of the Gryffindor table.

In response, Sirius discreetly sent up the usual message:

 _This night was brought to you courtesy of the Marauders._

There were a few sighed and comments.

"Of course it was them, it's always them."

"Probably celebrating getting Umbridge in trouble, they were always after her."

The fact that they were the culprits in this prank- the culprits in any prank, really- was no surprise. Everyone took the news relatively calmly, though there were a few people that were spouting rather colorful language.

"Derrick, please keep the cussing to a minimum," Dumbledore said mildly. "Filius, would you be able to do the counter charm to this one? I'm afraid charms are not my strong suit."

"Of course," Flitwick said, then proceeded to mutter a few incantations.

The Marauders held their breaths.

Flitwick's counter charm didn't work.

Hiding grins, James, Sirius, and Peter glanced at Remus, who was also doing his best to keep from smiling. That charm had worked.

While the teachers conversed among themselves to try and figure out why the counter charm hadn't worked, Sirius shot another message to the ceiling.

 _The sprinkles will vanish at approximately 8:00 sharp. Have a nice night._

A few of the students groaned as they saw the message. It would be at least twenty minutes.

"They trap us in here and they have the gall to tell us 'have a nice night?'" someone sneered. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Nice night? Do they expect us to sleep in here or something?"

"They're going about it so pleasantly, aren't they?"

"Nice job, mates," Sirius said proudly.

"I would say we should toast this, but the pumpkin juice has spilled," James said, pointing at where there was an orange spot on the table.

"Well, since we've got a good twenty minutes, what do you say to another food fight?" Sirius asked.

"No," Remus and Peter said at the same time.

James shrugged in response.

"Food fight it is," Sirius grinned, then picked up an overturned pie. "Let's get this started!"

And then even more chaos ensued.


	16. Classes Continue

The food fight was rather uneventful, for a food fight. Bread was a great projectile, as were heads of cabbage, handfuls of pudding, showers of sprinkles, and carrots. Like the food fight from the previous year, it what chaotic and exhilarating. At least, until the sprinkles vanished.

Where there had once been a sea of color, there was only air. With the absence of anything to support them, the people and objects in the Great Hall plummeted.

There were a number of loud crashes and people hit the ground, and a sickening crack as one of the House tables snapped from impact.

The Marauders winced as they heard the sound, turning toward the damage.

"That was not intended," James said quietly.

"It's fine, Dumbledore or Minnie can use _reparo_ on it or something," Remus said.

"Remus? Mate? Did you just support destruction?" Sirius asked, feigning concern.

"I don't support destruction, but the table can be fixed," Remus said exasperatedly.

"Everyone, go to your Common Rooms," McGonagall called to the Hall. "We will take care of this."

"And we don't have to do any cleanup," said Sirius. "We did well."

"We were brilliant," James grinned.

The Gryffindors climbed up the numerous flights of stairs. Hair tousled and clothes spotted with food, they returned to the Common Room.

It was buzzing, both about the food fight and the sprinkles. The Prewett Twins were talking with a sixth year animatedly, miming throwing something. In the far corner, Lily, Marlene, Alice, and Hestia were whispering among themselves.

With suppressed smirks and grins, the Marauders made their way up to the dormitory to change out of their dirtied robes.

"' _To become an Animagus, one must have a great aptitude with the subject of Transfiguration, have access to all of the ingredients needed, and be willing to risk their life as they know it. If done wrong, the transformation can disable a witch or wizard to the point of no return. This includes, but is not limited to, madness, unhuman parts, and added limbs. These effects cannot be reversed. You have been warned,'_ " James read. "Cheerful."

The Marauders were consulting The Complete Animagus Transformation in their dormitory in favor of ignoring their Potions essay.

Remus glanced at his friends worriedly as James finished the passage.

"Keep reading," Sirius urged.

"' _If you decide to proceed at your own risk, the instructions can be found on page fifty three,'_ " James continued. "This next part here goes into the effects of becoming an Animagus, if it works."

"Read that, if we have to cover a tail or something in class, that might be good to know," Peter said.

"' _Some commonly asked questions include the following: Will you adopt the lifespan of the animal you can become? Do you adopt habits and characteristics of the animal you transform into? Can you get stuck mid-transformation? Is a wand required to manage the transformation? And, is it possible to choose the animal you become?_

"' _The answers to these questions are as follows: You obtain your human lifespan due to the technicalities within the transformation. The transformation was specifically tested and engineered to be sure that no one was stuck with an Animagus form of a short living species (for example, a mosquito) and went through all the difficulties of the process only to die days later._

"' _The next question-_ ' You know what, I'm not going to read all of this, these are obnoxiously long paragraphs," James said. "Right, so the short answer to the one about adopting the habits of the animal is yes, there will be small and subtle similarities you share with the animal. You can get stuck mid-transformation. Once you are an Animagus, a wand isn't needed for the transformation. Also, you don't get to choose the animal you become."

"I'm betting that James will be a fish," Sirius decided.

"I will not!" James protested. "And if I'm a fish, you'll be… a worse fish."

"What qualifies as a worse fish?"

James stopped to think for a minute. "I don't really know, but you'd be a guppy or something."

"Hey!"

"Neither of you are going to be guppies or better if you don't keep reading," Peter said. "And that won't help anyone."

"Good point," James said. "Sorry for the delay, we'll get back to this."

That night, Remus left and the study of the book was continued by the remaining three. After making about ten pages of headway, ("These words are so small!" Sirius had whined,) they gave up and made to try and tackle their homework.

"What's the third effect of weedsoros?" Peter asked, quill hovering above his parchment.

"I don't know, maybe you foam at the mouth?" James suggested.

"No, you lose control of your muscles or something like that," Sirius said.

"Which one?" Peter glanced between them.

"Check the book," Sirius said.

With a sigh, Peter pulled out his Potions textbook and flipped to about halfway through, then scanned the page.

"You know what?" James said, capping his ink bottle. "I can't do homework anymore. We've got another day before it's due, so I vote that we go to the kitchens or something."

"I'm in," Sirius agreed immediately, finishing his sentence with a flourish of his quill. "Slughorn will just have to deal with my half-finished homework."

"Peter, you in?"

"Yeah," Peter said, shutting the book.

"Brilliant, I'll grab the cloak." James hopped off his bed and began rummaging in his trunk, pulling out the long, silvery bundle that was the invisibility cloak.

Quietly, the three boys threw it over their heads and crept down the stairs and out of the Common Room.

The castle was quiet and dark, except for where the full moon's light filtered through the windows.

James, Sirius, and Peter exchanged a glance as they passed one of the larger windows, which gave a clear view to the Whomping Willow.

They continued onto the kitchen in half-tense silence, which quickly dissipated as they tickled the pear and stepped inside.

"You messrs are back!" one of the elves squealed happily. "What can we get for you?"

"We'll take some biscuits," Sirius decided, "Some of Minnie's, if you've got any."

"Three butterbeers," Peter said.

"And some chocolate," James added.

"We will get that for you, messrs," another elf said, somewhat breathily.

Not five minutes later, the three boys were back on their way to Gryffindor Tower. Peter carried the butterbeer, James the chocolate and biscuits, much to Sirius' dismay.

"Come on, I was the one who decided on the biscuits!" Sirius hissed quietly.

"Well, if you eat them, then someone will hear you chewing!" James replied.

"No more than they'll hear us walking, I'm a quiet chewer!"

"Sure, definitely."

"And you're so much quieter!"

"Yeah!"

"Neither of you are being quiet!" Peter whispered. "We'll get caught if you don't stop arguing!"

James and Sirius huffed in response, but they complied.

When they got back to the dorm, they threw off the cloak.

James passed Sirius the platter of biscuits, nicking one for himself.

"Hey!" Sirius protested.

"There are loads more there," James pointed out.

Peter passed around the three glasses of butterbeer.

Stashing the chocolate and cloak in his trunk, James took one of the glasses.

The boys took a few minutes to drink deeply and steal biscuits off the platter before Sirius said, "If we aren't going to do homework, we should keep working on that book. We've had it since the beginning of the year and we still haven't done much with it. We're behind."

The others nodded.

Sirius laid down on his stomach to fish the book out from under his bed, where it was hidden beneath a mound of dirty socks.

"This thing'll smell awful after we're done with it," Peter noted.

"Personally, I think of it as an improvement," Sirius said. "It smelled like mold before, now it smells like slightly used socks."

"I preferred the mold," James said.

"You do it, too."

"Good point. But my feet smell better."

"They don't."

"Sure. Anyway, open the book, we should get going."

James, Sirius, and Peter went to the Hospital Wing in the morning. Like after every full moon, Remus was battered and worn, though he grinned broadly when he saw them.

"We're working on it," Sirius told him as he glanced at a new cut on Remus' arm.

"It's alright, you don't have to," said Remus, "but you do have to make sure you take notes in Transfiguration for me."

"I'll do it," said James.

"Thanks," said Remus.

"We went to the kitchens last night, James saved you some chocolate," Peter announced. "It's still in the dorm, though."

"How'd we forget that?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know," James said. "Sorry, we meant to bring it."

Remus shrugged the best he could while laying in the cot.

December rolled in and the sun began to retreat behind the clouds more frequently. Snow dusted the grounds and roof, and practical lessons in Care of Magical Creatures were becoming more prominent, particularly with animals that produced fire.

"Gather around, gather around!" Kettleburn called at the beginning of one particular lesson, beckoning the class forward with a stump where his hand had been only the previous day.

Peter gaped at him. "Professor, you- you're missing-"  
Kettleburn nodded. "Yes, my hand. I was feeding an Antipodean Opaleye in my fourth year lesson. She took my hand rather than the chicken she was supposed to eat." He seemed rather cheerful and unfazed about the whole event, which only caused Peter to look at him as though he were mad.

"An Antipodean Opaleye- that's a dragon!"

"Indeed it is, Peter. We'll be studying them in a few months."

"That bloke could be attacked by an erumpent and act like Christmas had come early," Sirius muttered as they took their places around the blazing fire Kettleburn had directed them to.

The bonfire was tall and a brilliant orange. Its logs were an ashen color, on which small white and red lizards were scampering around.

"Can anyone tell me what these are?" Kettleburn asked. "Dorcas?"

"Ashwinders!" Dorcas exclaimed nervously.

"No, but ashwinders are fire-dwelling creatures. We'll be covering them later. Anyone else?" Kettleburn said.

"They're salamanders," Evan Rosier said.

"Yes, Evan, that's right," Kettleburn said. "Salamanders are lizards that have an attraction to fires. Their skin changes color based on the heat of the fire they're on- that's why some of them are white and others are red. They have a Ministry classification of XXX, even though they aren't overly dangerous. Does anyone know why? Remus?"

"Their blood has special properties that can be used for healing or restoration," Remus said.

"Very good, now everyone come a bit closer. Get out your quills and parchment then get into pairs. Half of the pair is going to feed the salamanders while the other half will sketch them," Kettleburn instructed.

"You're drawing," James said immediately to Sirius.

"Why me?" Sirius asked.

"Because there's no way I'm doing it."

Sirius grumbled a bit, but pulled a quill and some parchment out of his bag.

"You do the feeding, I don't want to go near those things," Peter said to Remus.

"What was the point in taking the class if you aren't going to do anything, Pettigrew?" Rosier sneered, having overheard what Peter has said.

"What was the point in taking the class if you're just going to pick on people?" James shot at him.

"Maybe, unlike you four, I-"

"Oh, save it," Sirius snarled. "Some of us have things to do."

The class continued relatively peacefully, despite the glares thrown across the fire.

"Everyone turn in your sketches by the end of the lesson!" Kettleburn reminded the class halfway through the lesson.

"You have got to be kidding me," Sirius said.

"Why?" Peter asked.

"Because this drawing is absolute rubbish and Kettleburn is grading it."

"You don't ever care about your grades much, though," Peter said.

Sirius shrugged in response. "Oi! James, move over a bit, I can't see the tail!"

James scooted a few inches to the left.

Eyes squinted in concentration, Sirius continued the drawing.

At the end of class, the salamanders were crawling over the logs lazily due to the amount of food they had had. Peter and Sirius turned their drawings into Kettleburn, who complimented them both on their 'artistic abilities.'

"Mine looked more like a gecko than a salamander," Peter said. "I don't know what he was talking about."

"Yours wasn't too bad," Remus said.

"It'll pass, don't worry," Sirius assured him.

"You sure?" Peter said.

"Positive. It didn't look like a tepo or anything, you'll be fine," James said. "But if it did, you'd fail Remus, too, and that would be worth seeing."

Remus sighed in exasperation as the group stepped into the threshold of Hogwarts.


	17. Pranked

"We need to get the mandrake leaves," James said at breakfast the next morning.

"Yeah," Sirius said. "We should get going on that."

"Not until you've gone through the entire book," Remus told them. "I don't want you to do something you regret, especially on my account."

"We'd never regret helping you, Moony," Sirius said lightly.

"You know that's not what I mean," Remus sighed. "All of the risks of the process-"

"-Are going to be worth it," James said reassuringly. "It's alright, we know what we're doing. Sort of."

They finished breakfast and made their way out of the Great Hall, passing a whispering Lily, Alice, Marlene, and Hestia.

"I didn't think Evans was one to gossip," James said as they began the walk to History of Magic.

"She's a girl, what did you expect?" Sirius shrugged. "She was bound to do it sooner or later."

The day passed as normally as it could at Hogwarts. History of Magic meant a period of chatting and finishing last minute homework. Transfiguration and Potions both meant tests. Charms ended with Peter accidentally being flung across the room, Defense Against the Dark Arts was a short lecture and time to begin the assignment, and Care of Magical Creatures caused the class to bundle in their cloaks and shiver in the strong wind.

The next few days were similar; Tests, notes, homework, the occasional plotting of a prank, and then they repeated the process, until Saturday.

The Marauders were planning how they were going to get ahold of Sprout's mandrake leaves without being hexed by her wards.

"Snivellus won't fall for another letter from 'Evans,'" James said, "so we need something else."

"Could you just levitate a pruner or something to cut the leaves?" Remus suggested.

"No, it's got to be exciting and Marauder-worthy," Sirius said.

"I think the simplicity of that was pretty Marauder-worthy," James said.

"Yeah, but it's not exciting," Sirius said.

"It shouldn't be much of a problem if it gets the job done," James said.

"But we're the Marauders, we've got to live up to our reputation-"

Sirius' sentence was cut short as James yelped.

Sirius glanced at him, first in annoyance, then in shock.

James was soaking wet with little bits of colorful rubber scattered around him. Droplets of water spotted his glasses, and in an attempt to grab a napkin to wipe them off, he spilled a half full glass of pumpkin juice, which dropped into his laugh.

Sirius was laughing too hard to see that he was in danger of the same fate. "Mate- you look brilliant!" he wheezed, then gave a shout nearly identical to the one James had given as he was soaked.

People around the Great Hall had heard the shouts and were beginning to look in the direction of the Gryffindor Table.

"Oi! Above you!" someone shouted.

Wiping water out of his eyes, Sirius looked up.

"Remus, look out-"

The water-filled orbs above Remus' head plummeted before he could react, drenching him.

"Water balloons," Remus said calmly. "They'll be after you next, Peter, you'd better run."

Peter hurried to stand and run from the hall, but the orbs fell upon him, too.

"What the bloody hell were those?" James demanded, wiping his glasses on a napkin.

"Water balloons, they're a muggle thing," Remus said. "They're just thin plastic or rubber filled with water, people use them in the summer to cool off and whatnot."

"Who would have pranked us?" Sirius asked dramatically. "Who would have pranked me? Me, Sirius Black! What have I ever done?"

"A good many things, Mr. Black," McGonagall said, coming up from behind the Marauders to survey the mess.

"You don't believe that, do you Minnie?"

"I do, Mr. Black. I also believe that if you want to make it to your lessons, the four of you get changed into something more suitable," McGonagall said.

"What if, hypothetically, we don't want to go to lessons?"

"Hypothetically, you will be going anyway," McGonagall assured them.

Sirius sighed. "Well, mates, I suppose we have to go change. See you in class, Minnie."

The Marauders left the Great Hall and began to climb the main staircase.

"But really?" James said. "Who did that?"

"Don't look at me, I wouldn't be here if I knew," Sirius said.

"I'm not sure," Remus said. "It could be anyone."

"We need to figure out who," James said. "When we do, they'll be in for it."

"Operation reprank is on?" Peter said.

"Yes, it is," Sirius said.

By lunch they had a list of suspects.

"Alright, here we go," James said, then began to read the list. "Snivellus, Rosier, Avery, any Slytherin, Diggory, the rest of the people of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, and the Prewett Twins."

"Where'd we come up with all those Hufflepuffs?" Remus asked.

"The next Quidditch match is Gryffindor and Hufflepuff," Sirius said. "They might be sabotaging."

"This is Hufflepuff that we're talking about," Remus said, incredulous.

"Exactly," Sirius nodded.

"And the match isn't until after the holidays," Remus continued.

"Exactly," Sirius repeated.

"I think that we need to take Snivellus, Avery, and Rosier off the list," James said. "We all know that they couldn't prank someone if their lives depended on it."

Sirius' face fell. "But then we don't have an excuse to prank them."

"We've got all the excuses we need, Snivellus is a greasy git," James shrugged.

"Well, that leaves us with Hufflepuff, the other Slytherins, and the Prewett Twins," Peter said.

"Take out the Hufflepuffs, we haven't done anything to them," Remus said.

"But it could be them," Sirius insisted.

"It could be pretty much anybody, we can't just go off of that. We're looking at 'most likely.'"

"And the Hufflepuffs are very suspicious," James said.

"No-"

"Well, think about it," Sirius prompted, "The Hufflepuffs are so innocent and unassuming. They've probably got a secret weapon. Or maybe they're just devious."

"I don't think so-"

"Anyway, I think we need to do some interrogations," Sirius decided. "I'll take care of the Hufflepuffs with James. Remus, you and Peter worry about the Prewett Twins. We'll take care of the Slytherins together."

Peter and James nodded; Remus sighed but agreed.

James and Sirius made their way down to the lower floor, near the kitchens.

"Their Common Room is supposed to be over here, right?" James asked as they entered the corridor near the kitchens.

"Yeah, I think so," Sirius said. "Then again, I don't know how reliable Jorkins was. I don't think anyone's gotten into the Hufflepuff Common Room in ages."

"That sounds about right," a voice said from behind them.

James and Sirius turned.

"Zander!" James greeted the sixth year.

Zander was tall and well-muscled with dark hair and playful green eyes. His undone yellow and black tie hung around his neck, and a stack of books were nestled in the crook of his arm.

"You two planning on breaking in?" Zander asked the boys.

"No, of course not," Sirius said at the same time James said, "Maybe."

Zander raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'll warn you, you don't want to break in. You'll have a trail of us angry Hufflepuffs on you."

"About that," James said, "Would you know if anyone from your house was the one to prank us this morning? We're trying to figure out who did it."

"I dunno. I didn't. I'll ask around for you," Zander offered. "Maybe put a notice up in the Common Room, see if anyone has information."

"Brilliant, thanks," James said.

"And, also, could you tell us where your Common Room is?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"Unfortunately not," Zander shrugged. "Even if I did, you probably couldn't get in."

"Then what's the harm in telling?" Sirius said.

"You could figure it out," Zander said simply. "Nice chatting with you two, but I've got to get to the kitchens. Just found a recipe I wanted the house elves to try." He Held up one of the books, titled ' _Recipes From The Americas: Everything From Hamburgers To Canadian Syrup_.'

"Where'd you find that?" James asked.

"The library. There's a large group of us sixth years in muggle studies who have been researching food from muggle cultures around the world. We're supposed to bring a dish into class next week. I'm going to test a few out," Zander explained.

"Good luck with that," James said sincerely. "Tell us if you have any ideas about who did."

"Will do," Zander told them. "Well, see you around."

"Bye!" James and Sirius called as he tickled the pear and slipped into the kitchens.

"Should we head back to the Common Room?" James asked.

"Probably. We should see how the others are doing with the Twins," Sirius agreed.

Remus and Peter had made their way back down to lunch upon deciding that the Prewetts' weren't in Gryffindor Tower. As suspected, they were loudly joking around with some of the other people at the table.

"They're releasing a new line of pranking tools, all inspired by muggles," Gideon Prewett was saying.

"They've got these things called paint puffs," his brother Fabian explained, "like the muggle paintballs, only the paint is magical and has special effects."

"It would be brilliant to hit Mrs. Norris with one of those," Gideon said.

"Absolutely brilliant," a seventh year nodded. "When are they available?"

"Sorry, we don't mean to interrupt anything," Remus said quickly, coming up to the table near the Twins'.

"Alright," Fabian said. "Well, what is it?"

"We were just wondering if you knew who set the water balloons at breakfast this morning," Remus said.

"Nope," Gideon said.

"But I'd try those girls down there, they had their wands out under the table," Fabian said, pointing a few seats down.

"Thanks," Remus said, then glanced in the direction Fabian had pointed.

Lily, Hestia, Marlene, and Alice were chatting happily between bites of food.

Peter and Remus exchanged a look.

"James is going to be thrilled about this," Peter said dryly.

"He'll definitely take it well," Remus agreed in the same tone.

The Marauders met up for a later lunch to exchange information and results.

"We saw Zander. He didn't know if anyone in Hufflepuff did it, but he's going to check," Sirius said, enjoying a piece of chicken.

"We talked with the Prewett Twins," Remus said carefully.

"And?" James prompted.

"It was Evans," Peter said.

"Who?" James asked, startled.

"Lily," Remus sighed.

"Anything to say for your sweetheart, mate?" Sirius said, turning to James.

"I don't know, I'm going to talk to her," James said. He stood and made to leave the Great Hall.

"Hold on, we've got to do this together," Remus said.

"Why? I'll just go and get it over with," James said.

"Remus and I are the only ones who have the evidence," Peter pointed out.

"And we don't want to make you look bad in front of her," Remus added.

"You do a good enough job of that by yourself," Sirius agreed.

"Hey!" James said. "She likes me, she just has to come around."

"Sure, mate," Sirius said.

"Anyway, the point is, we have to do this as a group," Remus said.

"Well, then the rest of you stand up," James said.

"Not until I finish lunch," Sirius announced.

"You don't need to finish your bloody lunch."

"Yes, I do. Now shut up so I can eat."

Twenty minutes later, the Marauders entered Gryffindor Tower, hoping to find Marlene, Hestia, Lily, and Alice. They weren't disappointed. In the four plush armchairs that surrounded the crackling fire, the four girls were studying intently.

"Evans!" James shouted as he came through the portrait hole. "How could you betray me like that?"

Lily looked up, annoyed.

"Sorry, Lily, what James meant to say was, were you four the ones who pranked us this morning? Someone saw you with your wands out at breakfast," Remus said.  
"Well, Remus, since you asked so nicely, yes, we were," Lily nodded.

"Okay-" Remus started, but was cut off.

"Lily Evans, I'm going to kill you!" Sirius shouted.

"He's not," Peter said.

"Yes, I will!" Sirius insisted. "Actually, I'll kill all four of you- you three don't get free passes."

Alice, Marlene, and Hestia all appeared vaguely amused by this statement.

"We weren't expecting to get off," Marlene said.

"It was a good prank," Remus complemented the girls.

"Lily and Hestia came up with it," Alice said. "Marlene and I were in charge of some of the charms."

"Which charms did you use?"

"The charm you four used to multiply the sprinkles- we know that was you, by the way- and _aguamenti_ to fill them," Hestia said.

"Why are you fraternizing with the enemy, Remus? This is war, not Charms class!" Sirius exclaimed.

"What do you mean, war?" Remus asked.

"Evans, Mckinnon, Jones, and I-Don't-Remember-Your-Last-Name, I declare war for that outrageous prank you pulled on us!" Sirius declared. "And not just any war, I declare a prank war!"

"I'll second that!" James said.

"I'll third it," Peter piped up.

Marlene grinned. "You're on."

"What are the rules, Black?" Lily asked determinedly.

"All pranks and any pranks are game. It will last until the last day of term before the Christmas holidays," Sirius said. "Teams of four, and it starts now."


	18. War Begins

Juggling a prank war along with homework and illegal activities was harder than it seemed. It didn't take long for the Marauders to figure this out. By Sunday morning, the Animagus operation had come to a temporary halt, and the homework was low-quality and rushed, giving them plenty of time to focus on the prank war.

"You're positive that this will work?" James checked.

"Positive," Sirius nodded. "When Evans and her friends come past, you just transfigure it and throw it at them from under the cloak."

"I'll do it on the way to lunch," James said.

"Brilliant. That happens to be right about now," Sirius said. "Come on, mate, it's time to get Evans."

"You're forgetting about Marlene, Alice, and Hestia," Remus reminded him.

"Well, them too," Sirius said, "but we hate Evans the most."

"I don't hate her!" James protested.

Despite this claim, he went ahead with the plan.

Hidden under the invisibility cloak outside the Great Hall, James held a small, inconspicuous box. Waiting for Lily to come past him, he pulled out his wand.

It took the better part of five minutes for Lily to turn into the corridor, heading to have lunch.

" _Verto pistris_ ," James muttered, pointing his wand at the box. Then, he quickly stuck his hand out from under the cloak and tossed the transforming box into the path of Lily.

The box elongated, rounded, and changed from its maroon red color to a slippery grey. Fins popped out at different intervals, and slits appeared on its sides.

The shark fell to the floor with a thump.

Lily yelped as began to flop around, then pulled out her wand. " _Immobulus!_ "

James backed out of the corridor, smirking.

"POTTER!" Lily shouted angrily.

James broke into a run, pulling off the cloak and stuffing it into his pocket.

"Did it work?" Sirius asked when James rushed into the dorm.

"Yeah," James said, panting. "Yeah, it was brilliant."

"Peter and Remus went to go look up some spells we can use, they'll want to hear how it went," Sirius said.

"We heard. She's really loud," Remus noted, stepping through the portrait.

Peter followed him, nodding. Both were carrying a stack of books.

"Well, then it worked," James nodded.

"What's next?" Sirius said, glancing at the books Remus and Peter were carrying. "Did you find anything?"

"We didn't look through everything, we thought you two would want to look at some of these," Remus said.

"I would say 'you're absolutely right,' except I don't want to look through all fifty of those," Sirius said.

"There are only eleven," Remus corrected him.

"Same thing," Sirius shrugged.

"Not the same thing," Remus said. "Eleven is way less than fifty."

"It's still a lot of books."

"Not as many as I could have gotten. Do you want me to go back down to the library and get even more? Or should we just start looking?"

"No, we should just start looking."

"That's what I thought."

"Can we have lunch first, though?"

Rather than going to the Great Hall for lunch, the Marauders snuck down to the kitchens. Directly after they had eaten, they made their way back up to the Common Room to begin looking through the books.

They didn't get very far.

The boys had just sat down and flipped open four of the books when Sirius shrieked.

"My hair!"

Sirius' hair, which had always been a little on the longer side, had begun to grow an an obnoxious rate. It then began to turn a vivid green, which only made him screech louder.

Peter, Remus, and James whirled around in their seats.

A maliciously grinning Marlene McKinnon had her wand out. She winked in the direction of the Marauders and turned to saunter up to the girls dormitory.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Sirius roared. Tripping over his hair as he tried to stand, he sent a poorly-aimed jinx in her direction.

Marlene escaped without a scratch, which only made Sirius more determined to win the war.

"You should go to the Hospital Wing, you're turning into Rapunzel," Remus said, stifling laughter.

"Who's Rapunzel?" Sirius asked, ignoring Remus' amusement.

"She's from a muggle story," Remus explained.

"A girl? I'm turning into a girl?" Sirius exclaimed.

"No, you're not, you're just- never mind, just get to Madam Pomfrey."

Sirius' hair was now down to the floor and still growing. "I don't need-"

"Yeah, you do," James said,

"Fine, but do something to them while I'm gone!" Sirius said, and marched out of the Common Room, stumbling on his hair.

"I'll make sure he actually gets there and doesn't slip on his hair and knock himself out," Remus said after a moment, then began to follow Sirius.

James ran his hand through his hair as he glanced at the girls dormitory. "There's a spell on the staircase, right?"

"Yeah, we can't get up," Peter said.

"Do you know what spell it is?"

"I think it's similar to the one we used last April Fools day."

"You've still got the book for that, right?"

"Yeah, it's in my trunk."

"I've got an idea, but we need the book. Come on."

That night, when Sirius (with his normal length, ink black hair) and Remus has both come back from the Hospital Wing, James and Peter told them the plan.

"After they're all asleep?" Sirius said. "That's diabolical, I didn't think anyone besides Moony here could be that cruel."

"It's not cruel," Peter insisted.

"No, it's exactly what they deserve," Sirius agreed.

"Are they all in their dorm?" Remus asked.

"We think so, but we should wait for another hour or so, just in case," James said.

An hour slowly passed and the Marauders crept into the Common Room, making their way toward the girls' dormitory staircase. A few incantations were whispered, then the Marauders slipped back into their own dormitory, glancing back over their shoulders in anticipation.

The next morning, there was a loud thud and a shout that came from the girls staircase.

"I'M GOING TO KILL THE FOUR OF YOU!"

"That was my foot!"

"Bloody stairs!"

"I SWEAR, POTTER, BLACK, LUPIN-"

"It worked," Remus said lightly.

"Do you think we should stay in here until they've calmed down?" Peter asked.

"Probably," Remus nodded.

"How long do you think that's going to take, I'm hungry," Sirius said.

There was another crash from outside the dorm.

"Five minutes?" Remus offered unsurely.

Five minutes later, the boys attempted to get downstairs. The first step they took sent them falling through the stairs. Suddenly, they were falling from the ceiling above the girls' staircase.

Sirius was the first to hit the stairs, which flattened into a steep ramp. He was followed closely by Peter and Remus.

James, however, was knocked to the side and ended up on the threshold of the dormitory.

"So that's what falling through stairs feels like," Peter said, wincing as he got to his feet.

"They copied us!" Sirius said. "That doesn't even count!"

"Technically it does," Remus said. "You said that any pranks are allowed. Repeats are fine."

Sirius swore. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"How'd you get up there?" Peter asked, turning to James.

"I don't really know," James said.

"Make the most of it," Remus told him. "But you've only got a few minutes, because it's a Monday."

James nodded and ducked into the dormitory.

Once inside, he surveyed the room. It looked almost the same as his own, except for a few minor differences. There were five beds instead of four and the whole back wall of the room was covered in photos, both wizarding and muggle. The four posters had their drapes drawn shut. At the end of each bed there were trunks, all open with their contents strewn around the floor space.

"Brilliant," James grinned, then got to work.

Breakfast and History of Magic passed without the slightest hint of mischief. Transfiguration was when the trouble resumed.

Lily, Marlene, Alice, and Hestia had already taken their seats and were innocently pulling parchment and quills out of their bags.

The boys had just entered the classroom and made their way to their usual seats, towards the middle of the room.

James, Sirius, and Remus had no problems sitting down. Peter was a different story.

When he sank into his seat, there was a loud popping noise that came from the flat of his chair. Peter turned red as the class began to chuckle. He stood quickly and looked at where he had sat.

A bright red, deflated whoopee cushion had been set down where he was supposed to sit.

"Mr. Pettigrew, may I ask why you are not seated?" McGonagall asked from the front of the room.

"Er, someone put this on my chair," Peter said, picking up the whoopee cushion.

"I see," McGonagall said. She glanced at James and Sirius.

"You don't think that lowly of me, do you, Minnie?" Sirius asked.

"Mr. Black, I wasn't-"

"It's alright, Minnie, dear, but I'd just like to make it clear that I'd never prank poor Peter," Sirius continued.

Peter gave him a look.

"I think that you have made it quite clear," McGonagall said, "and if there are no more interruptions, I'd like to begin the lesson."

With a few looks across the room, the lesson began.

On their way to Potions, the Marauders began plotting payback.

"Slughorn said we'd be taking notes today, right?" James said.

"Yeah," Remus said.

"Brilliant," James said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Remus and Peter exchanged a glance; There was no telling where this would go.

Potions began simply.

"Today you'll be taking notes," Slughorn said. "Please copy everything from page fifty to sixty in your books about the theory of the pepperup potion. You have until the end of class."

The class quickly opened their books and began flipping through the pages until they reached page fifty, with the exception of James.

Discreetly as he could, he pointed his wand at Hestia's textbook.

On the other side of the room, Hestia was suddenly having a hard time reading. The letters and words on the page were shifting into ridiculous sentences. What had once been the sentence, ' _Stirring clockwise three times will keep your cauldron from bubbling over,_ ' now read, ' _Fred the tyrannosaurus rex was having trouble making his bed.'_

The picture on the top of the page shifted from a wizard scurrying around a cauldron to a moving illustration of a green dinosaur attempting to reach a blue patchwork quilt.

Hestia snorted at the ridiculous image.

Unfortunately for her, everyone heard the snort, as the room was silent.

"Ms. Jones, could you explain what is so funny?" Slughorn asked pleasantly.

Hestia glanced at the Marauders. "Well, Professor, someone did this to my book." She held up the book, which was still altering itself. Its illustration now showed a tap dancing canary.

Slughorn chortled, "That's certainly interesting. Well, Ms. Jones, I'll let you copy out of one of my books for today. You still have Charms today, right? When you have that, Professor Flitwick can take care of your book."

Hestia nodded and went to the store cupboard to find another book.

Lunch passed smoothly, as did Charms. Things became chaotic again in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Melior was quizzing the class on banshees when it happened.

"The banshee is native to where? Mr. Prewett," Melior prompted.

"Ireland," Gideon answered.

Melior nodded. "But today they can also be found in England, Scotland, Wales, some parts of North America, and in a few remote places in Europe. Can anyone tell me what a banshee does? Ms. Mckinnon."

The lesson continued in a controlled fashion for a few more minutes before Melior allowed the class to get a head start on their homework.

"What do banshees look like again?" James asked, running a hand through his hair as he stared at his blank parchment.

Remus made to answer. Instead of words, though, an unearthly wail resonated from his mouth.

The class jumped in surprise, Remus included.

"Who was that who attempted to mimic a banshee?" Melior said sternly.

Without attempting to speak, Remus slowly raised his hand.

"And why, Mr. Lupin, would you do that?"

Remus tried to speak, which only ended in another screech.

James, Sirius, and Peter glanced to where the girls were sitting.

The girls were doing their best not to look too smug.

Remus flipped over his parchment and neatly scribbled, ' _It wasn't intentional_.'

"And when you say not intentional-"

"He was cursed or hexed or something," Sirius interrupted.

"Do you know by who?" Melior asked.

"Well, I would like to accuse Evans of this terrible deed," Sirius said.

"I didn't do it," Lily said, sounding completely honest.

Melior gave her a critical look then nodded.

Sirius exploded, "Professor, she-"

"Mr. Lupin, if you would come with me so I can find the counter curse for this, the rest of you work _quietly_ on your essay," Melior instructed. He led a red-faced Remus out of the room, leaving James, Sirius, and Peter glaring at Lily, Alice, Hestia, and Marlene, who we're all smirking.

"I'm going to hex them into the next century," Sirius decided, pulling out his wand.

"Not here!" Peter hissed.

"Don't, they don't know what we did to their dormitory," James reminded him.

"Why did you do?" Peter asked.

"I jinxed their robes- they'll all be a few sizes too big, no matter what they do," James grinned.


	19. Abducted

The teachers of Hogwarts had noticed a definite increase in the school's pandemonium, specifically with the students Sirius Black, Lily Evans, Alice Fortescue, Remus Lupin, Marlene Mckinnon, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter.

Everyday there seemed to be something up with one of them.

Monday Remus was shrieking like a banshee.

Tuesday the girls walked into class with robes large enough to fit the gamekeeper.

Wednesday James spoke nothing but Portuguese while Marlene was constantly cursing in Gaelic.

Thursday Lily's eyes were continuously changing colors.

Friday the boys entered class with togas and laurel wreaths, claiming that they had lost all their clothes and that this was all they had to wear.

Not to mention Sirius' odd hair and the problem Hestia had reported with the third year girls' dormitory from Sunday.

Somehow no one had been strictly identified as the offender. This meant there were no detentions for the behavior, and no reprimanding for the chaos. It was ongoing, and no one was really sure where it would end.

At the present moment, Alice had been found magically stuck to a suit of armor with a mustache and the name 'Elvendork' drawn on her face in black ink.

"Something has gotten into you, messrs Black, Lupin, Potter, and Pettigrew, along with Ms. Evans, Ms. Jones, and Ms. Mckinnon," McGonagall said, shaking her head.

"Maybe it's the weather," Alice offered.

"I don't think that's the case, Ms. Fortescue," McGonagall said primly. She pulled out her wand to unstick Alice from the armor. "If the weather had anything to do with it, you'd be out in Hogsmeade with the rest of your classmates. _Finite_."

"Thanks, Professor," Alice said as she clambered off of the armor. "I'll just be off, then."

"Hold on, Ms. Fortescue. There's marker on your face, I can take care of that," McGonagall said.

A few yards away, James and Sirius were watching the encounter under the invisibility cloak.

"Wait until they try vanishing the marker," Sirius said, sounding almost diabolical.

"They don't know it's magical, do they?" James said in the same tone.  
Sirius grinned. "Nope."

McGonagall turned toward the muttering.

James and Sirius quieted instantly.

"There has been a change of plans," McGonagall decided, turning back towards Alice. "Ms. Fortescue, if you would come with me to my office so we can _wash_ the marker off…."

Sirius swore.

"And if whoever is hiding over there would like to come out, they are welcome to do so," McGonagall prompted. She looked in Sirius and James' general direction.

James and Sirius exchanged a glance.

"We're not losing the cloak," James said.

The boys began to back out of the corridor.

"Should I rephrase? If whoever is hiding over there would come out before I give them detention, they are strongly advised to do so," McGonagall said.

"But if we don't come out, you don't know who to give detention to!" Sirius said quietly. He grinned triumphantly as he and James turned the corner.

"Mr. Black, if you would join me in my office for a biscuit after I have finished with Ms. Fortescue," McGonagall said.

Sirius gaped. "How did she hear that?" he asked James.

James shrugged. "I don't know-"

"And, Mr. Potter, you will be joining as well," McGonagall continued.

James muttered a few choice words under his breath, pulled off the cloak, and shoved it into his pocket.

The boys entered the corridor where McGonagall and Alice were waiting.

"Come on," McGonagall said, and they began the well-known trek to her office.

Alice had the marker cleaned off her face quickly and effectively. She was dismissed, leaving James and Sirius alone with McGonagall.

Before McGonagall could offer or give him a limit, Sirius grabbed a biscuit off of the tray on her desk.

McGonagall did nothing but sigh, then begin the lecture.

"Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, could you please explain to me why you would write 'Elevendork' on Ms. Fortescue's forehead in favor of a Hogsmeade visit?" she said.

"Well, it's unisex for one," James remarked, trying to sound as rational as he could.

"I don't think that's a relevant reason, Mr. Potter," McGonagall said.

"I don't know, Minnie, that sounds pretty relevant to me," Sirius shrugged.

"Mr. Black," McGonagall started.

"It was only a joke," Sirius assured her. "We weren't actually going to start calling her Elvendork."

"Even though it's a good name," James said.

"And we were in Hogsmeade earlier, that's where we picked up the marker," Sirius added.

McGonagall pursed her lips, trying not to show her slight amusement. "Detention tonight, you two," she decided.

"Of course, Minnie," Sirius said, helping himself to another biscuit.

"Please stop eating all my biscuits, Mr. Black," McGonagall scolded, voice lacking most of its usual sharpness. "We've talked about this before."

"And I've ignored you before," Sirius said cheekily.

"That'll be another night for you, Mr. Black. Now out of my office. You too, Mr. Potter," McGonagall said, now sounding much more stern.

James nodded and made for the door.

"Bye, Minnie. See you tonight!" Sirius told McGonagall.

"And for future reference," McGonagall called after them, "Go to and stay at Hogsmeade during the permitted hours instead of wrecking havoc about the castle."

James and Sirius hesitantly nodded.

"I will see you two tonight," she said. It was clear from her tone that she was excusing them.

They nodded again and slipped out of the room.

"'It's unisex?' Really?" Sirius asked as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Well, it is!" protested James. "It's a good name."

"Sure, you keep thinking that. Now come on, we've got to get back to the dorm," said Sirius.

"Why the rush?" said James.

"We only have a few more days of the war," Sirius reminded him. "We need to make the most of it, and that means we have to make a plan. We've already lost this morning to picking up the markers from Hogsmeade, and we've lost tonight and tomorrow to detention."

"You're the only one with detention tomorrow," James pointed out.

"You're coming with me for moral support."

"Since when do you need moral support for detention? Anyway, Minnie wouldn't allow it."

"Of course she would, she loves me. If it makes me happy, she'll do it, the same as I'd do for her."

"If she loved you, we wouldn't have homework _or_ be in detention."

"James! How could you insult my relationship with Minnie? You're supposed to be my _friend!_ Actually, you were going to be best man at the wedding! Now I guess I'll have to give that job to Snivellus-"

"Two things: You aren't having a wedding with Minnie. Second, even if you were, there is absolutely no way Snivellus could be your best man. I forbid it."

"Well, mate, you never know…."

Meanwhile in the third year boys dormitory, Remus and Peter were attempting to get a particularly difficult essay on living transfigurations done.

Remus was scribbling everything he could down on his parchment, glancing at his textbook ever so often.

Peter was having more trouble. He alternately looked at his nearly empty parchment, his textbook, the ceiling, Remus working determinedly at his essay, and the wall.

"It's been so long since we've really done homework, I can't focus," he whined.

"You've really just got to get started on it," Remus said. "It'll get easier once you have a few sentences down."

Peter gave a halfhearted huff in reply and shifted his gaze back to his paper.

The two worked in silence for a few minutes before the dormitory door opened with a loud bang.

"We've got detention tonight with Minnie, so we don't have much time," Sirius said.

"Detention for what?" Remus said, scanning an article in his textbook.

"We stuck Alice to a suit of armor and wrote 'Elvendork' on her forehead," James explained.

"Elvendork?" Remus asked, giving James a confused look.

"It's a great name," James said defensively.

"All right…" Remus said awkwardly. "So what is it that we need to do before your detention?"

"There are only five days before the holidays start," Sirius said. "Five days until the prank war is over."

"Okay…."

"So we need another prank."

"Can I finish this fir-"

"Absolutely not. Pranking before homework, it's a Marauder rule."

"Since when?" Peter interrupted.

"Since now," Sirius said.

"I only have a few inches and editing," Remus said. "Five, to be exact. I'll be done in about ten minutes."

"Pranks before…. What's a word for homework that rhymes with pranks?" Sirius asked.

James and Peter shrugged.

"Wait, here's one. Buddies before studies, Remus, and the buddies want to plan a prank," Sirius said.

"Poet and you didn't know it," Remus said distractedly.

Sirius grinned. "It's only what's expected of the great Sirius Black. Now, Remus, put that essay down, let's get planning."

"I'll put my essay down once I'm finished. The only reason why I agreed to come back from Hogsmeade so early is so I could catch up on my work," Remus said pointedly.

"You're caught up enough, and anyway, you don't need to edit it or whatever," Sirius insisted.

"Are you offering?"

"No," Sirius said, shaking his head hurriedly.

"Then ten more minutes."

Fifteen minutes later, Remus put down his essay and put away his quill and ink.

"He's done," James told Sirius, who was staring at the ceiling, feigning boredom.

"Finally!" Sirius exclaimed. "By the way, that was more than ten minutes, Remus, you liar."

"It would have only taken ten if you hadn't kept interrupting me," Remus pointed out.

"Fair point," James said.

"Hey! You're supposed to be on my side!" Sirius said.

"Who said I had to be on your side?"

"I did!"

Before the two could go off with their stage argument, Peter asked, "Didn't you two want to plan a prank or something?"

"That's right!" said Sirius.

"I think that we should take out a new strategy," said James.

"What?" said Remus.

"We'll whisper among ourselves to get them paranoid," said James.

"Didn't we do that with Umbridge?" Peter asked.

"Well, yeah-"

"So Lily might know what we're up to," Remus sighed. "I don't think it'll have the intended effect."

"Also, we can't repeat ourselves," Sirius added. "That is not something the Marauders would do."

"We are the Marauders," James said, "so whatever we do is something the Marauders would do."

"Yeah, but the Marauders are currently involved in a _prank_ war, which involves pranking, and the Marauders would never pass up an opportunity to do some pranking," Sirius said.

"Alright, well than what are the Marauders going to do?"

"Stop referring to themselves in the third person," Remus said.

"You can't say that; You just did it too," Sirius said.

"Can we just get this prank planned and over with?" Remus sighed.

"Yes, we can," James grinned. "Any ideas?"

The Marauders had a plot that was ready by the next morning. After some carefully calculated seating plans, an hour of research, questions from James, and a early two o'clock trip to the Great Hall for setup, they were ready.

Peter, Sirius, and Remus went to eat in the Great Hall as usual.

James concealed himself under the cloak, a few yards from the doors. He held a metal disk, waiting to draw his wand.

Within twenty minutes or so, the last few students began to trickle into the Hall.

When he was sure no one else was coming, James got to work on the box.

Breakfast began normally with plenty of conversing and eating. The clatter of silverware filled the hall until the prank began.

The carefree, unassuming, and innocent mood vanished when the large, oaken doors opened with a bang at the end of the Hall.

A round, grey metal disk hovered in midair. Its ring of luminescent green lights pulsed as it floated forward between the two center house tables.

"It's a UFO!" someone shouted from the Ravenclaw table.

"What the bloody hell is that?" one of the Slytherins asked.

"How did aliens get to Hogwarts?" a Gryffindor a few seats away from the boys demanded.

"That's too small to be a spaceship!" a Hufflepuff criticized.

The murmurs and exclamations that filled the Hall was exactly the sort of chaos the Marauders had been planning on to continue the plan.

Discreetly, Sirius, Remus, and Peter pulled out their wands.

Sirius' part was the first of the three.

 _Greetings, Earthlings_.

The words appeared above the flying saucer in a fluorescent emerald color, similar to the lights on the saucer.

The Great Hall quieted at once.

 _We have come to this place from afar in search of humans. You are odd creatures that we wish to study. In time, we may rule you, keep you as pets, or enslave you._

A few people began to whisper anxiously among themselves.

 _You need not worry, though. Before we decide what to do with you, we need to determine your intelligence, threat level, and the like. It is for this reason that we will be taking some of you as test subjects and samples._

This was where Remus and Peter came in. The two of them began muttering various incantations.

Peter pointed his wand at the saucer, causing a green beam of light to shoot out from the bottom of it.

The saucer began to drift towards the Gryffindor table, making its way towards Lily, Alice, Marlene, and Hestia.

Unlike the majority of the school, they knew exactly what was going on and who the prank was intended for. Without a word, they made to stand and leave the Hall.

Fortunately for the Marauders, the saucer was quick and the charms worked.

The saucer was already above them, it's ghostly light making the girls' faces shadowed and garish.

Remus activated the charm that he and the other had placed on the seats at the Gryffindor table early that morning.

With a puff of smoke, the girls vanished from their seats, causing people to cry out in shock.

A new message appeared above the saucer as its green light went off.

 _Thank you for your cooperation. We will inform you when we decide to take over your planet_.

Slowly and dramatically, the saucer glided out of the Hall.

The students were silent for a moment. Then they erupted.

"What the-"

"Where'd they go?"

"There's no way those were aliens."

"Yeah, but whether they were aliens or not, they kidnapped them!"

"They just vanished!"

"Is that how people get abducted?"

"I dunno, that's not what happens in the movies."

"If everyone will please calm down!" Dumbledore said above the din.

The Great Hall quieted.

"I do not believe those were real extraterrestrials," Dumbledore said calmly, "I merely suspect this was a prank. This means that Ms. Jones, Ms. Mckinnon, Ms. Evans, and Ms. Fortescue are still inside the castle. Do not fret; We will find them. In the meantime, please finish your breakfast and then enjoy your Sunday."

"Well, what did I miss?" James asked as he joined the others at the Gryffindor table.

"Oh, not much," Sirius shrugged. "Evans and her crowd were abducted, but nothing else."

"Abducted?" James said.

"Yeah, by- who are those green guys from the muggle movies?" Sirius said, turning to Remus.

"Aliens, or if you want to be scientific, extraterrestrials," Remus said.

"Those guys. I believe they were taken to that broom closet on the third floor," Sirius nodded.

"Too bad I missed it," James said, "That would have been brilliant."

The Marauders shared grins.

"We'll be in for it after that," Remus said. "They aren't going to be happy."

"The aliens or Evans?" James asked.

"Both," Peter said.


	20. Thievery and Announcements

James woke early the next morning. Like usual, he sat up and thrust his hand quickly from under the covers to pat down the nightstand between his and Sirius' beds, feeling around for his glasses.

He patted down the entire nightstand without finding his glasses. Strange. James moves on to checking the floor with his feet, moving them gingerly so not to break his glasses when he found them.

The glasses weren't on the floor near his bed either.

James swore loudly.

"What are you cussing at?" Peter asked sleepily from a few beds over.

"I can't find my glasses," James said.

"Did you check the floor?" Peter offered.

"Yeah, they're not there either," James said.

"Maybe Sirius hid them like he did in first year."

"Maybe, is he up?"

"I don't think so."

"Well, he will be. OI! SIRIUS! WAKE UP!"

Sirius bolted upright in bed. "Whatever it is, I didn't do it," he insisted hurriedly.

"Yeah?" James challenged. "Have you seen or hidden my glasses?"

"No and no," Sirius said. "Thanks for waking me up, we've still got another hour until breakfast. I'm going to go back to sleep."

"Why would he have hid your glasses?" Remus asked. He had also been woken by James' shout.

"He did it last year, remember? And Sirius, you aren't going to sleep until you help me figure out where they are," James said determinedly.

"I don't know where your bloody glasses are, why don't you enlist Peter or Remus or someone," Sirius grumbled.

"I'm enlisting all of you, get up," James declared. "I can't see anything, so you'll have to look extra carefully and all that."

"Brilliant," Sirius complained, "Exactly what I wanted to spend my morning doing."

"It won't take all morning," Remus said. "Where'd you have them last night?" he asked, turning to James.

"I put them on the stand," James said, gesturing to the window.

"He's blind as a bat," Sirius muttered. "This'll be fun."

The boys spent twenty minutes searching for the missing glasses to no avail.

"Where in Merlin would those bloody things be?" James demanded.

"I don't know, we've torn apart the entire dorm looking for them," Sirius said frustratedly.

"Well," Remus said quietly, "you might have to go without them today."

"Go without them? I'm practically blind without them! I can barely see you, and you're only…. How far away from me are you?" James asked hopelessly.

"About five yards," said Peter.

"Five yards!" continued James. "How am I going to make it through the day?"

"Very carefully," said Remus.

With a stifled groan, James pulled himself out of bed and managed to stumble towards his trunk.

The boys were late to breakfast, much to Peter's dismay.

"We've only got ten minutes!" he said. "That's not nearly enough time."

"Better than five," Remus said.

"Better than tripping over Sirius' dirty robes," James added, somewhat sullenly.

"Not my fault," Sirius said defensively.

"Could someone pass the jam?" Peter said.

"Yeah, here," Remus said, handing Peter a small jar.

"And if you could also pass me the eggs," Sirius said.

Remus handed over the large bowl.

"You'd better not steal any, Peter," Sirius said, then asked critically, "Evans hasn't put you up to anything, has she?"

"I never stole your eggs!" Peter protested. "That was just what you and James told Umbridge to disrupt class."

"Don't pretend you didn't do it! You stole them on orders from Evans."

"No!"

"So you didn't do it because of Evans?"

"I didn't do it in the first place!"

The banter continued for a few minutes before Remus pointed out that if the two didn't finish eating soon they would be late to History of Magic.

Being widely acknowledged as the most boring class Hogwarts offered, almost no one bother to pay attention in History of Magic. Its teacher, Binns, was practically oblivious to anything that wasn't written on the ancient chalkboard, making it a perfect class to talk and cause chaos.

James and Sirius were engaged in a wild debate about where the Quidditch World Cup would be held in fifty years.

"Germany, for sure," Sirius argued.

"No. Germany hasn't held the Cup in thirty years, they'll be hosting soon enough," James disagreed. "I'm betting it'll be Madagascar."

"Does Madagascar even have a Quidditch team?" Sirius said, dubious.

"What country doesn't have a Quidditch team?" James said, scandalized.

"All Madagascar has got are those odd lemur things, and-" Sirius stopped speaking as a familiar glint caught his eye. "Mckinnon has James' glasses," he said abruptly.

"What?" Peter asked.

Sirius pointed a few desks over, where the girls were sitting.

Alice was half asleep, slumped over her desk. Beside her, Lily was attempting to take notes. Hestia and Marlene were engaged in pleasant, animated conversation. It would have been a normal scene if not for the glasses perched on Marlene's nose.

They were circular, black framed, and exactly like the ones that James had been wearing the past day.

"Mckinnon has my glasses?" James said incredulously. "She _stole_ them?"

"It looks like it, or she just happened to buy the same glasses as you and just happened to start wearing them today," Remus shrugged. "It's a bit suspicious."

"Mckinnon!" James called. "Are those my glasses?"

"What?" Marlene said, turning away from her conversation.

"The glasses. Are they yours or did you steal them?" Sirius said.

"Well, I didn't _steal_ them. I'm only borrowing," she grinned.

"Could you un-borrow them? I'm practically blind!" James said.

"I'm afraid not, Potter," Marlene said, voice laced with fake sympathy. "I need to read the board." She turned away and continued to talk with Hestia.

That was when the operation to get James' glasses back began.

"Can you last until Charms?" Remus said. "Flitwick said we were doing some practical work today, he won't notice if someone levitates your glasses off or her nose."

"Charms? That's after lunch," James moaned. "And before Potions…."

"Minnie might stand for it if I asked her," Sirius said.

"That's not happening," Remus said.

"Put some faith in our relationship," Sirius said. "Minnie and I are lovers and-"

"This is completely irrelevant to the discussion," James said. "Back to getting my glasses back."

They had a plan by the time History of Magic ended. As Marlene passed the set of armor on the first floor on the way to Transfiguration, they would make their move.

Sirius and Remus went ahead to wait by the armor.

Peter was in charge of helping James get to class without too many bruises.

Sirius was crouched behind the armor, wand out. He scanned the crowd of passing students for the girls.

Remus was across the corridor, trying to act inconspicuous by appearing to read a textbook. In reality, he glanced up every so often, ready to interfere in case the plan didn't work.

It didn't take long before Hestia, Alice, Lily, and Marlene walked into Sirius' range.

" _Wingardium Leviosa_ ," Sirius muttered.

With a swish and flick, the glasses lifted off of Marlene's face as though suspended from an invisible wire.

Marlene gave a shout of surprise and swiped at the glasses. Unfortunately for her, they were already a good ten feet up in the air.

At the far end of the corridor, Peter was helping guide James around the bustle.

Unable to see anything, James didn't realize that his glasses had been recovered until his was poked by something a few inches to the left of his eye.

"What the-"

"Sorry, mate!" Sirius shouted from a ways up the corridor. "Here, I'll try that again."

James blinked as the glasses slid onto his face. "I can see!" he exclaimed.

There was a yelp from where Sirius was standing a few years away.

Remus gave a start as he realized what had happened.

Sirius' robes had been turned Slytherin green. The lion crest sewn onto their front was now a writhing snake.

"What the bloody hell am I wearing?" Sirius said, startled.

"What spell is that?" Peter asked. He and James had come up behind Sirius, who was now looking at his robes in horror.

"I don't know," Sirius said.

"Remus, do you know?" Peter said.

"No," Remus said, "You should probably change, though."

"Yeah, he can't go around school looking like a Slytherin," James nodded.

"This calls for a trip back to the dorm," Sirius said gravely. "Not only will I get out of these cursed garments, but we also need to plan a prank to get back at them."

"'Cursed garments?'" James laughed.

"Very cursed garments," Sirius said. "What Gryffindor in their right mind would be caught dead in these robes?"

By the end of the school day, there had been a total of two explosions, five unexpected hexes, and some very unhappy teachers.

The Marauders were far from done when they went down to dinner that night.

"Everyone knows the plan?" James checked.

"It's a simple plan, and I'm the only one that has to do anything," Sirius said.

"Well, Remus, Peter, and I are supposed to be on backup duty," James reminded him.

"I won't need backup duty," Sirius said.

"You might, you never-" James stopped talking as in the front of the Great Hall, Dumbledore rose.

"If I could please have your attention for just a moment," Dumbledore said to the hall.

The students quieted immediately.

"As I'm sure you are all aware, the Christmas Holidays start at the end of this week. I am also sure that you know of the plight of our former Professor Umbridge, who has been accused of using blood quills as a form of punishment," Dumbledore continued, voice taking on a much grimmer tone. "If you have any memories that you would be comfortable sharing in a pensieve- whether to prove or disprove the accusation- please go to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom tomorrow after lessons end. If you choose to volunteer any, they will be shown to a number of Ministry officials who will be putting Professor Umbridge on trial over the break." He looked around the hall and with a much more cheerful air added, "Now that that is out of the way, Mr. Filch has asked me to inform you that a number of new items have been added to his list of banned objects. And now, do not let me take any more of your time. Please, enjoy your dinner."

The conversation in the Great Hall resumed, somewhat more strongly.

"I'm going in," James said immediately.

"Me too," Sirius said, almost as quickly.

Remus and Peter nodded.

"I'll go," Peter said.

"Which detention are you three going to give?" Remus asked.

"I don't know," James shrugged, "but I'm giving one of them."

"How many people do you think will show up?" Peter said. "There will be a few people at least."

"Hold on, I'm adding something new to our plan," Sirius said. He slipped his wand out of his pocket.

 _The Marauders would like to encourage anyone with proof to accuse Umbridge to step forward and go to the D.A.D.A room after classes tomorrow._

A few of the students glanced at the message and pointed it out to the people around them.

"Reckon we'll be pranked if we don't?"

"I never had detention last year, I can't do anything."

"They meddle in everything, those blokes."

A second sentence was sent into the air.

 _They would also like to congratulate Ms. Hestia and Ms. Marlene on their decision to snog behind the Quidditch Pitch yesterday._

The Great Hall filled with whispers and all eyes turned to the two girls, who were seated at the Gryffindor table.

"What?" Hestia asked, reading the message slowly.

Marlene rose from her seat and began storming towards Sirius."Sirius Black, I swear that I'm going to- "

Sirius put on his most innocent look. "Yes?"

"-murder you!"

"For what?" Sirius said.

"For that!" Marlene gestured to the ceiling of the Great Hall where the message had been outlined.

"That wasn't me, that was those devils the Marauders," Sirius said. "I'm downright angelic."

"You're one of the sodding- alright, well, I saw you had your wand out under the table," she argued.

"I was putting a warming charm on this roll," Sirius said, holding up a small breakfast roll. "I was going to bring this into class."

"Some angel you are, that's against the rules!" Marlene said.

"Well, I'm mostly angelic," Sirius shrugged. "Anyway, I've got to get to class. See you later!" Sirius stood and hurried out of hall, leaving Marlene behind.

"You three and him are lucky there are only a few days left of the prank war," Marlene threatened. "Be grateful if you only get a taste of your own medicine."

"That doesn't sound good," James noted as she stalked away.

"It probably won't end well," Remus nodded.

"Three more days," James said.


	21. Into the Pensieve

The next day after lessons, the Marauders made their way to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.

The room looked like it usually did. Rows of desks, roughly thirty students, and Melior in the front of the room. There were only three differences from their normal lessons.

The first was the presence of Dumbledore and Slughorn beside Melior. They were taking part in extracting the memories, the boys assumed.

The second was the box of crystalline vials that sat on Melior's desk. A few of them were filled with a silvery liquid of sorts, but for the most part they were empty.

The third was a stone basin, which also sat on the desk. Another pale liquid filled it, though it was a different color than that in the vials.

As the room slowly filled, Melior said, "Is this everyone? Yes?"

When no one walked through the door or gave any indication that someone else was coming, he nodded and began to speak.

"If you are here, you are here to contribute a memory or memories to either accuse or defend Dolores Jane Umbridge," Melior said sternly. "It is not something to be done lightly. If you do not wish for high ranking Ministry officials and perhaps the Minister of Magic himself to see your memories, you are free to leave now." He sent a pointed look around the room.

A second year Hufflepuff quailed under his glare and hurriedly left the room.

"Anyone else?" Melior said. "No? If you plan on accusing, go to the left side of the room and form a line. If you plan on defending, go to the right side."

There was a flurry of movement as the students rearranged themselves into two lines. The majority of students were in the line to accuse; Only two Ravenclaws, a Hufflepuff, and a Slytherin seemed to want to help Umbridge.

"Professor Dumbledore, Professor Slughorn, and I will be extracting the specific memory. In order for us to retrieve it, you will need to concentrate on it," Melior instructed. "After we have done so, you will view it in the pensieve that the Ministry has provided for us to make sure that it is the memory you wish to submit. You will not be able to interact with its occupants. If the memory is the correct one, it will go into one of these vials to be transported to the trial. Is everyone clear?"

The students nodded and murmured their consent.

"Good," Melior said. "Let's get started."

The Marauders were in the middle of the accusatory line, sandwiched between some sixth year Gryffindors and a fourth year Ravenclaw.

"Which memory are you sharing?" James asked quietly.

"First detention," Remus replied.

"With you and Evans?" James said.

"Yeah, that one."

"It's a miracle that that was your first ever detention," Sirius said, shaking his head. "How'd you get through all of first year without any?"

"I behaved myself," Remus said.

Sirius gave him a look. "What do you mean? You helped create a diversion so we could sneak into Müller's office-"

"I'll be doing the first detention she gave us," James interrupted.

"That's the one I was going to do," Sirius said.

"Find another," James shrugged. "Peter, what about you?"

"After we trapped her office, that first time," Peter said.

James nodded somewhat thoughtfully.

"I know what I'll do," Sirius said suddenly. "I'll do the one when Umbridge called us into her office after the teacups."

"She didn't use blood quills on us then," James pointed out.

"She was still abusive, though. The toad tried to give us those teacups!" Sirius said. "That'll count for something."

"It should," Remus agreed. "Good idea."

The line moved forward a few inches.

"What are they doing up there?" Sirius said curiously, cranking his neck to see to the front of the line. He winced. "Ouch, that looks painful."

"It shouldn't be," Remus said plainly. "It's pretty straightforward."

"Reassuring," Sirius said.

It took a good half hour before they reached the front of the line.

"Mr. Potter," Melior said briskly as James stepped forward.

"So I just think about the memory," James clarified.

Melior gave a sharp nod.

"Okay." James went quiet as he concentrated.

Melior raised his wand and placed its tip amidst James' untidy mop of hair. He held it there for a moment. When he removed it, glistening tendrils were stuck to the wand like muggle paperclips to a magnet.

James looked at the strands hanging from the wand. "Is that-"

"The memory," Melior nodded, flicking the substance into the pensieve and giving the liquid a small stir. "Stick your head in."

"Stick my _what_ in?"

"Your head."

Uncertainly, James complied.

It suddenly felt as though he was falling quite far. Down and down he went until he landed with a soft thud. He gave a start as he realized where he was.

The office was a girlish pink with walls covered in china kitten plates and floral carnations. A delicately patterned teacup sat on an expensive looking desk.

Besides James, there were three other occupants in the office.

Two dark haired boys had just come through the door wearing identical expressions of annoyance. The only telling difference between the two was a pair of spectacles that rested on the first boy's nose. They were slightly younger versions of James Potter and Sirius Black.

The James who was spectating turned his attention to the occupant of the desk.

She was short with a nauseatingly pink cardigan. There, in all of her toad faced glory, was Dolores Umbridge.

"Now boys," Umbridge said with false sweetness, "It's nothing too hard tonight. We'll just be writing lines.

The young James began to move towards the door. "I don't have a quill- maybe I should go get one-"

"That's alright, Mr. Potter. You can use one of mine," Umbridge said. She opened her desk drawer, pulled out two pieces of parchment, two sleek, black quills, and passed them to the young James and Sirius. "I want you to write 'I will not disrupt class,' alright? And please, take a seat."

"How many times do we have to do this?" the young Sirius asked skeptically.

"Long enough for the message to sink in," she purred.

"And where's the ink?"

Umbridge's slight smirk widened. "You won't need ink."

The spectating James watched in horror as his younger friend and self began writing the lines. The words appeared in blood on their parchments, and slowly began to etch themselves onto their hands.

Not wanting to watch himself and Sirius, James turned his attention to Umbridge.

There was plain though slightly concealed glee on her face as she watched the boys pen.

The triumph on her face made James scowl. The bloody toad had gotten the better of them to begin with. She had tortured them and they hadn't made any difference for months. Why she had even been at Hogwarts to begin with, James couldn't not guess. All he knew was that-

"Is something wrong?" Umbridge asked, interrupting James' thoughts.

"No, except for my bleeding hand," the young James said. Then a look of comprehension dawned on his face. "These are blood quills, aren't they?"

"Are you suggesting that I, Professor Dolores Umbridge, am breaking school rules?" Umbridge asked with a falsely high laugh. "Honestly, why would you say such a thing?"

"Because my hand is bleeding and it wasn't before I started using this bloody quill!" James exclaimed angrily.

Sirius was silently writing lines, not participating yet, though he looked immensely frustrated.

"Well, look at the time," Umbridge said. "It's six fifteen, and I have better things to do than oversee this detention. You are free to go. But leave the quills."

It was then that Sirius reacted. He threw his quill onto the ground, tore his parchment into pieces, and spat at Umbridge.

The spectating James allowed himself a grim grin at his friend's nerve.

"You and my mum both," Sirius shot at her aggressively. "I'm sure you'd be fast friends." With that, he hurried out of the room.

The young James put down his quill and after shooting Umbridge an angry glare, made to follow.

Before he reached the door, however, Umbridge said, "Mr. Potter, what happens in this room stays in this room. If you tell a single person, you will have to watch your back, you and Mr. Black both. Have a nice night."

The young James rushed out of the office to follow Sirius and the scene faded.

All of a sudden, the present-day James felt a tug, and suddenly he was back in the Defense Against the Dark Arts room with Melior.

"Was that the memory you plan on sharing?" Melior checked.

"Yeah, it was," James said.

"You are free to go," Melior said.

James simply nodded and moved to wait for the others outside in the corridor.

Meanwhile, Dumbledore was removing the tip of his wand from Remus' head. With a small flick, the memory drifted down into the stone pensieve.

With only a moment's hesitation, Remus stuck his face into the basin to re-witness the detention.

Umbridge's office materialized around him as he finished falling, pink and elegant. Umbridge sat at her desk, fingering her blood quills almost impatiently.

There was a knock at door in the front of the office.

"Come in," Umbridge said with crisp cheerfulness.

The door opened quietly, revealing second years Remus and Lily.

"You'll be doing some lines for me tonight," Umbridge informed the two. "You don't need your own quills, you'll be using some special ones of mine reserved for this purpose. Ms. Evans, Mr. Lupin, please take your seats. The quills and parchment are ready."

"What are the lines?" the younger Remus asked.

"Your lines, Mr. Lupin," Umbridge said with a curled lip, "are already written for you."

Remus nodded obediently, took a seat, and picked up one of the quills.

Lily followed suit, only stopping to give Umbridge a look.

Umbridge cleared her throat. "Hem, hem. Ms. Evans, is there a problem?" she inquired sweetly.

"Nothing, Professor," Lily said coolly.

"Then I expect that you'll start on your lines," Umbridge said.

The older Remus watched in silence as his younger self and Lily began to write their lines, regardless of the lack of ink. They had already heard about what Umbridge did for detentions.

It continued in silence for another few minutes before Lily spoke out.

"This isn't even legal, Professor," she said. "I'm done, I won't write any more."

"You'll write for however long I tell you to," Umbridge said. "I believe your line was 'I will not question the teacher.' This means not questioning what I tell you in class and what I ask you to do outside of class."

"I'm not going to stand for it," Lily said stubbornly. "It's illegal!"

"Would I ever do something illegal, Ms. Evans?"

"Of course you bloody would, you're doing it right now!"

"That is enough. Please sit down and finish your lines, or it'll be another detention tomorrow and twenty points from Gryffindor for ignoring a teacher."

"Some teacher you are," Lily muttered darkly, but she returned to her seat.

"Five points from Gryffindor," Umbridge said, almost happily.

The lines were finished in silence until Umbridge dismissed Lily, requesting that Remus stay behind for a minute.

"I'll wait in the hall," Lily told him.

The young Remus nodded.

Once Lily was gone, Umbridge made her move. "Mr. Lupin, the headmaster has informed me that you have some… health problems," she said.

Remus nodded yet again.

"I would like to make sure that you understand; I will not fall for any of your tricks. You will be treated like any other student," Umbridge said.

"Tricks, Professor?" the boy asked cautiously.

"I know what your kind is like, Mr. Lupin," Umbridge said with disdain. "I won't fall for your act like Dumbledore and the rest of your classmates."

"It's not an act, I'm not like that, Professor," Remus said, voice shaking slightly.

"You're a half breed, Mr. Lupin. Half breeds are monsters, and monsters are savages," Umbridge said cruelly.

"I'm not like that," Remus repeated more steadily. "Goodnight, Professor."

"Remember, Mr. Lupin," Umbridge said threateningly.

The older Remus looked instinctively at his hand as he was tugged out of the memory.

 _Monster_. That was what she made him write.

Dragging him back to the present was Dumbledore.

"Alright, Remus?" Dumbledore said kindly.

"Er, yes, Professor," Remus said hastily.

Dumbledore nodded. "This is the one you want to submit?"

"Yeah."

"You can go now."

"Alright." Remus glanced back at Sirius and Peter, who were respectively waiting in line and had their face touching the pensieve.

Sirius gave him a small grin.

Remus tried to return the gesture, then left to wait with James in the corridor.

Peter was now inside the pensieve, in Umbridge's office, wishing that he didn't remember the smell of the room after they had trapped it. The stench of cabbage and sulfur was not something that he wanted to spend much time smelling.

"Sit," Umbridge instructed the young Marauders. They stood by the door, trying not to appear bothered by the smell.

The Marauders remained standing.

"Or stand." Umbridge cleared her throat with a "hem, hem," then continued, "I got your present the other day."

Sirius grinned and said cheekily, "I'm glad. On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate our service?"

Umbridge bristled. "Hem, hem. As punishment, you'll spend the next few days writing lines. And, Mr. Potter, you've been pulled from the Gryffindor Quidditch team."

"You can't do that!" James said angrily. "McGonagall is in charge of the team, you can't pull me out!"

"Minnie wouldn't give you permission to do that! James is still on the team!" Sirius argued.

"Actually, I can," Umbridge said sweetly. "Your individual lines are ready, as are the quills."

None of the boys made any move to begin.

"Well?" Umbridge said. "Get going."

The older Peter watched as he and his friends reluctantly complied.

 _I will not take part in a plot to attack a teacher. I will not take part in a plot to attack a teacher. I will not take part in a plot to attack a teacher._

He watched as he wrote it over and over again, watched as the blood blossomed from his hand.

It seemed as though it was happening to someone else, but Peter remembered the way the blood had soaked through the sleeve of his robe and the sharp twinge that the quill caused all too well.

He shivered as he saw the look on Umbridge's face; A look of pure enjoyment that he had never noticed when she was at Hogwarts.

The memory lasted far too long for his liking, and it was a relief when he resurfaced in the D.A.D.A room.

"Was that the memory you planned on sharing?" Melior asked him.

"Yeah," Peter said.

"You can go," Melior said.

Peter hurried out of the room and away from the pensieve as quickly as he could.

Sirius was incredibly tense when Dumbledore rose his wand to his head to extract the memory.

"You can relax, Sirius, it shouldn't hurt," Dumbledore assured him.

"I'm not that tense, Professor," Sirius said jokingly. "I'm just preparing for the worst. You never know when a herd of Erumpents will come charging through the door."

"You never know," Dumbledore agreed with a twinkle in his eye. He removed his wand and placed the memory into the pensieve. "I trust you were watching your peers and know what to do?"

"Yeah," Sirius said, and slowly lowered his face to the swirling liquid in the basin.

After a brief moment of falling, he was suddenly in the corridor outside the Great Hall.

Sirius whirled around, trying to find himself in the crowd of people on the way to lunch. Instead of finding himself or the others, he found Umbridge, who was striding as quickly as she was able towards a group of students near the doors of the Great Hall. He followed her, keeping pace with ease and reaching the group before she did.

"Lunch sounds like a great idea," Remus was saying, making to follow Lily, who had just left for the hall.

Umbridge reached them. "I'm afraid lunch will have to wait, Mr. Lupin," she said.

The Marauders whirled around and Sirius found himself studying his younger self.

"I'm so short," he noted aloud.

"I have some questions for you, if you'd come to my office," Umbridge said, continuing as though she had not heard him.

"We'd love to," the shorter Sirius started, "but this really isn't the time."

"I wasn't asking, Mr. Black."

"Alright," James said.

Umbridge turned on her heal and began to lead them to her office.

The Marauders exchanged glances, but followed quietly and without question.

When Umbridge, the Marauders, and the older Sirius reached the office, Umbridge opened the door and forced commanded them inside.

On her desk was a pot of tea and filled teacups. Chairs sat at each placing, and the boys were giving the cups odd looks. They were not ordinary teacups. They were the enchanted ones.

"Have some tea," Umbridge insisted. "There's sugar and milk on the desk.

"Er, Professor?" Peter piped up uncertainly, "I don't drink tea."

"Actually, none of us drink tea," the young Sirius added.

"You're all English, right?" Umbridge inquired sweetly.

"Yeah," James said.

"Well, what sort of Englishman doesn't drink tea?" Umbridge asked.

"Many people, in fact, and we're a few of that many," Sirius said logically.

"Humor me, Mr. Black."

The young Sirius' lip twitched into the ghost of a smirk. "You see, Professor, I can't. Humor isn't part of my personality. I'm rather Sirius, actually."

The older Sirius grinned at his own joke. "Quite Sirius," he said.

The boys lost their intent expressions to a moment of laughter.

"You use that one way too much," James complained with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"Drink the tea," Umbridge told them, not the least bit entertained.

With a smirk, Remus grabbed one of the teacups and took a small sip.

"Remus, don't!" Peter said, only a second too late.

"Why ever not?" Umbridge said. "Surely you don't know something about these teacups."

"No-" Peter paused as he realized what he had done.

It was then that the young Sirius took matters into his own hands.

"Remus, the pact? What about the pact?" he exclaimed somewhat dramatically. "You haven't forgotten about our pact, have you?"

"The pact?" prompted Umbridge.

"We're not supposed to drink tea," Sirius explained.

By that point, Remus decided to attempt and place the cup back on the table. It was an unsuccessful attempt. Without a word, he exited the office.

"Oi! Remus!" Peter called after him.

"See?" James said convincingly. "It messes with his brain, makes it go strange, the boor bloke. We should go get him." With that announcement, he left, Sirius and Peter close behind.

"I did not dismiss you!" Umbridge said, but they did not reply.

With a jerk, the older Sirius was pulled out of the pink office and back into the present.

"That's the one," he told Dumbledore before he could ask.

Dumbledore nodded and called for the next student.

Sirius met up with the other three outside in the corridor.

"How'd it go?" James asked.

"I was so short," Sirius said. "Shorter than Peter short."

"Hey!" Peter protested. "I'm not that short!"

"How'd it go for you guys?" Sirius asked.

"Fine," Remus shrugged, somewhat unconvincingly.

"It just made me even more determined to get her in trouble,"  
James said, voice tranced in anger. "Actually, forget trouble, I want her in Azkaban."

"Understandable," Sirius nodded. "She's a right bloody toad. But now that she's going to be convicted, I vote that we forget about her and get on the the business of Marauding."

"Brilliant," James said.

"So now," Sirius said, grinning, "What's our next prank going to be?"


	22. The Last Day of Term

The prank was a well needed distraction that the Marauders did gladly. It began as starting to plan against the girls, but instead morphed into what Sirius declared would be a victory prank for the Marauders, but also a farewell to the students leaving for the Christmas holidays.

By the last day of term, the results of the prank war were in.

Within the past two days, the Marauders had a total of five casualties:  
The first was an enchantment placed on the food in the Great Hall. Peter was unable to reach any of it, much less eat it, for an entire day.  
The second was an announcement made that Sirius and Remus had gotten together. This made the two in question turn a bright red, which only added to the rumor and made the girls smirk.  
The third was James' broom. It had been charmed green and frequently squeaked in a nauseating voice, "Go Slytherin!"  
The fourth was a jinx placed on Sirius. Whenever he attempted to address McGonagall, his hair would turn a shade of puce.  
The fifth left all of their school things stuck to the ceiling of the Potions room.

On the other end, the girls had a six successful pranks pulled on them.  
The first prank was the blue stars that had been charmed onto Lily's skin.  
The second left Hestia dangling above Flitwick's desk.  
The third involved Alice and Marlene a flock of raging chickens.  
The fourth resulted in Marlene losing her eyebrows to two bushy caterpillars.  
The fifth was a disappearance of all the girls shoes, and the sixth one caused their shoes to reappear, only they were all impractically high heeled.

This, along with the happenings of the past few weeks, would determine the winner; Whichever team had the most points. One point for each prank, bonus points for style.

The two teams met in the Gryffindor Common Room the last morning of term to tally out the points.

"Alright, so the standings are nineteen for you lot," Sirius began, then stopped.

"And?" Lily prompted.

"Marauders, a private word," Sirius decided. He stepped away from the fire and toward the boys dormitories.

James, Remus, and Peter followed.

"What is it?" Peter asked.

Sirius shushed him. "Quiet, they can't hear- they're up by two points!"

"What?" James hissed. "How do they have more points? We're the _Marauders_!"

"We're not unbeatable," Remus shrugged.

"We're the Marauders," James repeated.

"I know, but we've been caught before," Remus pointed out. "Melior got us earlier this year, we do have weaknesses."

"That wasn't intentional," Sirius said.

"I don't think that this was either," Remus said.

"Should we just say that we had twe-"

"No," Remus told him forcefully. "We'll tell them that we have seventeen points, and that'll be the end of it."

"But Moony-"

"No."

James gave a huff. "Fine, but I'm calling for a rematch. Stealing my glasses should not have counted."

The boys returned to the fireside and Sirius announced the verdict.

"And the Marauders lost valiantly with seventeen points," he said, "but they would like to call for a rematch because according to one of its members, the glasses thievery shouldn't have counted."

"We accept," Marlene grinned, "but not for a while, because Lily's been complaining that she's behind on her work for Arithmancy."

"You take Arithmancy?" James asked, turning to Lily.

"It's an interesting class," Lily said. "But right now, that's beside the point."

Sirius groaned. "Don't say it."

"We just beat the Marauders in a prank war," Lily gloated goodnaturedly.

"That's only because we tutored you," James argued. "You were our apprentice last year!"

Lily shrugged.

Alice looked at her, surprised. "You chose to spend more time than necessary with-"

"Yes, she did," Sirius said. "She and-"

"If you say Potter, I'll hex you into next week," Lily threatened.

"- _James_ ," Sirius smirked, "got really- ouch! What'd you do that for?"

"For suggesting that there was anything between me and Potter," Lily said.

"Someday, Evans," James assured her.

"Yeah-" Sirius ducked as Lily sent a hex towards him. "All right, I'll stop!"

"Good," Lily said, tucking her wand back into her pocket.

"Well, I for one, would like to celebrate our victory," Hestia said. "The feast is going to start in about twenty minutes, I'm going to head down early. Anyone else want to come?"

"Sure," Marlene said. "And we'll get back to you four when we're ready for that rematch."

The girls rose with triumphant grins and left the Common Room.

When they had gone, Sirius began to question, "How'd we lose?"

"We pulled more pranks than they did," Remus said, "but they got more creative points."

"How'd that happen?" James asked.

Sirius shrugged. "No idea."

"What were the exact rules of the war?" Remus asked.

"Well, all pranks count," Sirius listed, "and it ends the last day of term before the holidays."

"Did you give a specific time?" Remus checked.

"No, I just said the last day of term," Sirius said, then curiously added, "What are you planning?"

"The war hasn't finished, then," Remus said. "If we carry out the prank, we can at least tie it."

"Brilliant!" James crowed. "Mate, you're a genius!"

"He's a public menace," Sirius grinned. "I'm glad that you're on our side."

Remus allowed himself a satisfied smirk before saying, "Before we pull off the prank, you two have late work that Minnie wants you to turn in by tonight. I'm guessing that you haven't finished it."

There was a collective groan.

"You're the only person who would give us great news than force us to do homework," Sirius grumbled.

"You won't do it otherwise," Remus said.

"Fair point," James agreed.

James and Sirius finished the homework as quickly as they could, then they hurried down to the Great Hall to enjoy a quick meal.

"I wish we could enjoy the whole feast," Peter commented almost mournfully.

"We're missing the second part for something better," Sirius said with a grin.

"Yeah, cheer up, it'll be brilliant," James grinned, "And we're sure to get an extra point for creativity and whatnot."

"Still," Peter said, "it would be nice to not have to rush on the dessert."

"Yeah," Remus nodded.

"You and Peter were the ones who came up with this whole idea and you want to give it up for an extra twenty minutes to eat chocolate?" Sirius said.

"Not chocolate specifically," Remus said, "but it's nice to not rush."

"Traitor," Sirius muttered.

"How am I the traitor?" Remus asked, vaguely amused.

Sirius made to answer, but James cut him off.

"We should go," he said. "The feast'll end in a half hour."

Sirius gave Remus a look. "This conversation isn't over."

"Actually, I think that it is," James interrupted. "Let's go."

The Marauders stood and left the hall as inconspicuous as they could.

"It's a good thing no one knows that we're behind it all," Remus noted. "Otherwise we never would have gotten out of there without any looks; People would know something was up."

"Another bonus to having a secret identity," Sirius said with a wink. "So what's the spell again?"

Meanwhile in the Great Hall, the majority of the occupants of Hogwarts were enjoying their dinner, commenting on the Christmas trees that had been put up for decorations, chatting with their housemates about their plans for the holidays, and overall having a good time.

As the feast neared its end, Dumbledore stood to address the school.

It was then that the message appeared.

 _The state of the corridors was brought to you courtesy of the Marauders. Happy Christmas!_

There were some murmurs of exasperation.

"I swear, everytime there's some sort of event…."

"What have they done this time?"

"And I thought the end of term would be relaxing."

"Before any of us find out what this mysterious surprise in the corridors is," Dumbledore called to the hall, "I would like to join the Marauders, whoever they are, in wishing you a happy Christmas. You've all been working hard these past few months, and you a break is well in order. I hope you all make the most of it and enjoy it. For those of you who are leaving tomorrow morning, I will see you when classes resume. For those of you who are remaining here at Hogwarts, I'm assuming that I'll see you at the Christmas feast. Now, if we could find out what has been done to the corridors…." Dumbledore flicked his wand and the great oaken doors at the end of the hall opened.

The students began to file apprehensively out of the Great Hall only to find there was something wrong with the corridor floors.

What had once been grey stone flooring was now a bouncy black surface.

A few people cried out in pleasant surprise, pushing past some of the students who had stopped in shock, blocking the doors in and out of the hall.

The Marauders were at the end of the corridor, grinning at the majority's confusion and delight of some of the students, who had rushed out and unquestioningly begun leaping and jumping through the corridor.

"You said that there are entire buildings full of these?" Sirius asked excitedly.

"Yeah, they're a new concept, but there are some places," Peter said, nodding.

"What are they called?"

"Trampoline parks, I think," Peter said.

"They must be brilliant," Sirius said with a bounce. "These are fun!"

More people began to cautiously tread out onto the trampolines once they saw no one had fallen through them or turned any vibrant shades of color.

Eventually the Great Hall had been mostly emptied, and its former occupants were bounding across the corridors.

James gaped as Dumbledore viewed the chaos, gave a chuckle, and said something to McGonagall, which almost got a smile out of her.

"Bloody hell, he's impressed," James said proudly.

"Or he just saw that Ravenclaw fall flat on her face," Sirius said, pointing at a girl who was laying facedown not far from where the teachers were standing.

"Either way, we're partially responsible," James grinned.

"Are you sure that's a good thing?" Remus asked.

"Positive," James said surely.

"Well, Minnie's right over there, and I don't want her to spend the first day of holidays cross because I turned in my paper later than the extended deadline. I'm going to go and turn it in," Sirius said, pulling a folded, slightly wrinkled piece of parchment from his robe pocket.

"I'll come too," James said, holding up his own.

Papers in hand, they made their way towards McGonagall.

"Minnie!" Sirius said once they reached her. "I've got my paper, and I forgot to write my name on the parchment you brought around, but I'm going to stay for the holiday. We can spend Christmas together!"

McGonagall sighed at this announcement.

"I have my paper, too," James said giving McGonagall his parchment.

"Thank you, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, McGonagall said as she straightened the papers. "And Mr. Black, in the future, please sign the parchment if you wish to stay over the holidays."

"I will, Minnie, I promise," Sirius nodded.

"I'm glad," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye, "And on that note, I'm sure that in order to recover from the excitement of the evening and to enjoy the first day of the holidays, you'll need your sleep."

"Yes, Professor," James said.

"'Night, Minnie, 'night Professor," Sirius said cheerfully.

A few minutes later, the Marauders were announcing the tie of the prank war to Alice, Hestia, Lily, and Marlene.

"Oi! You didn't beat us, by the way!" Sirius called to the girls, who were trudging up the staircase to their dorm.

"What do you mean? We had nineteen, you had seventeen," Alice said.

"The rules stated that the war ended the last day of term," Remus explained. "It didn't specify when. The trampolines got us another two points."

"Don't say it wasn't creative, because it was," James said.

Marlene looked at the four boys. "So we tied."

"Yeah," Sirius said. "And we'll have to do a rematch for sure."

"We won't have to do a rematch," Lily said. "We tallied the points this morning, signifying that it was over. Anything after that, like the trampolines, doesn't count. We still won."

"We only tallied the points as a ploy," Sirius said. "So that would earn us another point, and therefore we would win."

"That's not true. You were shocked when you found out that we won," Hestia said. "There was no way it was a ploy."

"Well, that's beside the point," James said. "The point is, the Marauders prevailed and at least tied with you. So you didn't win."

Lily glanced at the other girls, then looked back to the boys. "You had better watch your backs, prank war or not," she said at last.

James grinned. "'Course, Evans."

With a scowl, Lily retreated into the dormitory, her friends close behind.

Feeling triumphant, the boys made their way up to their own dormitory.

"So you two are staying?" James asked, nodding at Sirius and Remus, who were watching him pack.

"Yeah. It's better than being with my mum," Sirius said darkly. "But Regulus is going to be staying too, so we'll get Christmas together."

Remus glanced down. "It'll be… that time… over the holiday, it'll be easier on my parents this way," he said as casually as he could.

James nodded quietly.

"We'll likely be up early," Peter said. "I'm guessing you two'll sleep a bit?"

"Yeah," Sirius said.

"Well, in that case, happy Christmas," Peter told them.

"Happy Christmas."


	23. Enter the Dragon

"Well," James said, throwing his trunk onto the dormitory floor, "Did you get Minnie again this year?"

Sirius shook his head. "I tried, but she wouldn't go anywhere near the mistletoe."

"I knew it was a delusion," James said.

"It's not a delusion!" Sirius insisted. "Minnie loves me, I know she does!"

"Maybe she just learned from last year," Remus offered.

"Yeah," James said. "Maybe she does love you, but you're just that bad at snogging."

"Like you could do any better!" Sirius said. "And she does love me, and I'm not that bad at-"

"Anyway," Remus interrupted before things could get out of hand, "Peter, How was your holiday?"

"It was good," Peter said. "We had family over for most of it."

The others nodded in response.

"How was your furry little problem?" James asked, turning to Remus after a moment.

"What? Oh, it was fine," Remus said quickly, then changed the subject. "You said that we should start planning for April Fools?"

"Yeah," Sirius said. "I was thinking that we use fireworks."

"Fireworks? We can get those if we sneak out to Zonko's. They've got the sale, remember?" James said. "We can sneak out using that passageway in that corridor…."

The first day back to term passed quickly. The Gryffindors used History of Magic to catch up with each other about the holidays, leaving the rest of the day for concentrating on their classes.

Transfiguration was a review of theory and an attempt at transfiguring a desk into a pig. It ended with McGonagall's desk in splinters and a rampaging boar.

Potions meant an hour of Slughorn's chatter and paging through their tattered textbooks.

Charms was a review of what had been covered before the break.

In Defense Against the Dark Arts, Melior announced that there would be a practical lesson coming up, which caused some excitement and a shriek from the back of the room.

Care of Magical Creatures also brought news of a practical lesson.

"Our next unit will be focusing on dragons," Kettleburn told the class excitedly.

A number of the students turned ashen colors of dread, despite the biting cold.

"We'll spend the next week taking notes and learning about them," continued Kettleburn. "Next Tuesday I'll bring a young one in for us to meet. She'll be in a cage for the first day so she can get used to all of you, but then I'll let her out for you to meet."

The class exchanged glances.

"But- but Professor," Evan Rosier stammered, "It's a dragon. _A dragon!_ They're dangerous!"

"Only when treated improperly," Kettleburn said. "That's why we'll have a few days of theory so that you'll know what to do when you meet her."

"Is theory really going to be enough?" Lily asked timidly. "I mean, it'll be brilliant to meet a dragon, but-"

"No, you need to experience things, but you'll do better with the theory than without," Kettleburn said.

"You're mad! I won't go near that thing, even with theory!" Evan said, his voice now an octave higher than when he had started the argument.

"I won't force you, Evan, but the whole point of this class is to learn about and encounter exotic or unusual creatures."

Evan went quiet.

"On that note," Kettleburn said, "open your books to page fifty and read through that chapter."

The class opened their books gladly and began to chatter amongst themselves.

"Dragons?" James said. "I don't usually agree with Slytherins, but Rosier's right, he is mad."

"He lost his hand to a dragon," Peter shuddered. "How are we supposed to handle one?"

"By reading through the textbook and being as prepared as we can be," Remus said.

"Reading isn't going to help us if we have to fight a Horntail," Sirius snorted.

Kettleburn came up behind the group. "You won't be 'fighting a Horntail,' Sirius. She's actually a Common Welsh Green."

"A Welsh Green?" James asked.

"They're one of the least aggressive dragons," Remus nodded. "That makes sense."

"That's why I'm having her brought in. I would have like to show you all a Hebridean Black, but they're not so easily controlled and the headmaster wouldn't have appreciated it if the castle went up in flames. Greens are nice, though. Still fascinating, though not as exciting," Kettleburn said.

"Being maimed is exciting?" Sirius muttered.

Kettleburn appeared to have not heard him and walked off to talk with some of the Gryffindor girls.

The boys (mostly because of Peter's wariness and Remus' insisting) spent part of the week in the library, scouring for more information. They weren't the only ones with this idea; Lily and Alice had taken to looking as well, grudgingly sharing a table and books with them.

The first week back ended and the weekend passed quickly. All too soon it was Monday, the last day of theory before they met the Common Welsh Green.

Kettleburn reviewed everything they had gone over cheerfully, without any qualms.

"How can he be so calm about all of this?" Peter asked as the lesson ended.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again. That man could be trampled by an erumpent and act as though Christmas had come early," Sirius said solemnly.

The next morning dawned bright and crisp in a golden light.

"Does everyone have their tombstones inscribed?" James asked. Though it was meant to be a joke, he was quite somber about it, seeming incredibly serious.

"It's a dragon, James, not a lethifold," Remus sighed, though he, too, seemed nervous.

"At least you can fight those off, the only weak spot a dragon has is its' eye!" Sirius said. "My aim is good, but not that good, or I would have gotten Snivellus in the Hospital Wing that time we dueled in first year."

James glanced at him as they made their way into the Great Hall. "Weren't you trying to hex his-"

"We should review the notes," Remus said.

Peter nodded readily.

"But we'll eat first. If I'm going to die, I'll do so on a full stomach," Sirius declared.

Remus rolled his eyes. "You're not going to die, honestly…."

They spent most of breakfast looking over the notes, only stopping when Dumbledore rose from his seat to make an announcement.

"I have two announcements," he said clearly. "The first is the situation regarding former Professor Umbridge. As I'm sure many of you are aware from this morning's headlines-"

The Daily Prophet had been tossed to the side earlier by James without a second glance. He now snatched it up, flipping it over from where it sat upside down.

"-the trial has finished. She was found guilty, fined ten thousand galleons, and sentenced to eight months in Azkaban," Dumbledore said gravely.

The hall erupted into whispers.

"Azkaban?" James said. "He's not joking, it says so right here!"

"Why would be be joking?" Remus asked. "That's not a place you joke about."

"Yeah, but if anyone deserves that place, she does," Sirius said.

"Eight months," James marveled.

"We did well," Sirius said.

"Yeah, but when she gets out she'll be furious," Remus pointed out.

"If she gets out, James said, voice taking on a darker tone. "She deserves it alright, but a lot of people die there, or go mad."

"Die?" Peter said.

"Oi, Evans!" James called down the table. "Come over here, we've got to celebrate!"

Lily sighed and said, "If you want to celebrate, Potter, it'll have to wait."

"On a much lighter note," Dumbledore said, quieting the hall, "Our Muggle Studies teacher, Professor Eycke, has been putting efforts forward to have another Muggle Awareness Day, similar to what we attempted last year. There is not a set date for when this would take place, but same as last year, there will be a film. If anyone has any suggestions, they are to give them to Professor Eycke by the end of next week. That is all, and I believe that most of you have to get to class."

The hall resumed its chatter as students began discussing a variety of topics.

"Umbridge and Muggle Awareness Day," Sirius commented. "Too bad we'll be dead before I can see her mugshot and wear my jacket."

Their lessons passed swiftly and before they would have liked, it was time for Care of Magical Creatures.

The Marauders were part of the group that walked as slowly as they could, hoping to delay their encounter.

"Come on, come on!" Kettleburn beckoned them as the group approached. "We'll have to head to the forest-"

"The forest?" someone yelped. "I'm not going in there!"

"There's nothing in there that's too dangerous, except for one spot with a family of Red Caps," Kettleburn assured the class.

"Except for the Red Caps," Sirius nodded. "Reasonable."

"And, for those of you who are having misgivings, Hagrid, our groundskeeper, is going to be coming with us," Kettleburn said, pointing at a large figure who was coming out of the hut a few meters away.

"'Mornin' Professor," Hagrid said as he got closer.

"Bloody hell, his beard got longer," James noted.

The groundskeeper had a large, untidy mane of brown beard and hair. He was twice the size of a regular man, and in one of his dinner-plate sized hands he held a black boarhound puppy.

"Hope yeh don't mind that I brought Fang here along," Hagrid said. "Didn't wan' to leave 'im alone for too long."

"Not at all," Kettleburn said happily. "Come on, now, everyone into the forest."

Apprehensively, the class followed.

They had been walking in silence for about a minute when Dorcas asked, "Where's the smoke?"

"What?" Sirius said.

"The smoke," Dorcas repeated. "If we're seeing a dragon, it'll be breathing fire."

"Kettleburn said she'd be a younger one," Remus said. "Some breeds of dragons don't breathe fire until they're a few months old."

"Very good, Remus. Yes, she's less than a month. She can't breathe fire quite yet," Kettleburn said.

Slightly reassured, the class continued following the teacher and the gamekeeper.

They walked for another five minutes before they stopped in front of a large iron cage. Inside the cage was the Common Welsh Green.

Her scales were a grassy emerald green that stood out against the dark backdrop of the forest. She was about three feet long and curled up on the bottom of the cage, beady brown eyes watching as the class approached.

"For those of you who haven't guessed, Adain is a Common Welsh Green," Kettleburn said. "As you should know, Welsh Greens are one of the ten breeds of dragons."

Kettleburn prattled on for some time about their anatomy, pointing to various spots on Adain. About half of the lesson passed before he instructed the class to come closer, even encouraging them to reach out and attempt to pet her.

Up until this point, Hagrid had been watching from the back of the cluster. The moment Kettleburn made the suggestion of petting her, he hurried carefully to the front and with the hand not holding Fang, happily stroked the dragon's neck.

"Looks like he's enjoying himself," James noted. "He and Kettleburn are mad."

Adain gave a playful snap at Hagrid's hand.

There was a sharp intake of breath from the class.

Hagrid gave a small shout of delight and said something to Kettleburn, who laughed and nodded.

"Come closer, Hagrid's fine," Kettleburn called to the class, who had backed away a few steps.

No one complied.

"She's really frien'ly," Hagrid assured the class. "Ain't she, Fang?"

The puppy in his hand looked up, but did not give any other response.

"I say that we test that. What about the blood traitor Black or his squib servant Pettigrew?" a voice drawled from the back of the students' cluster.

"Sod off, Rosier," Sirius snapped. "But if you're too much of a coward to get your bloody hands dirty, then I'd be happy to do it for you."

Evan smirked; He had achieved his goal.

Determinedly, Sirius marched past Hagrid and Kettleburn to the cage. He stuck his hand through the bars and gave the dragon a pat on her head.

Adain gave a chuff and tossed her head.

Sirius withdrew his hand from the cage, still in possession of all of his fingers.

"Very good, Sirius!" Kettleburn said enthusiastically. "Very good! Is there anyone else who wants to give it a go?"


	24. The Final Move

The class had eventually warmed up to Adain, who in turn had been accommodating to their petting. Despite the misgivings they had had at the beginning of the lesson, the Care of Magical Creatures class was in a very good mood by the time they had returned to the castle.

"Evans!" James said as the Gryffindors and Slytherins split to go their separate ways. "Is it time for that toast?"

"At dinner," Lily sighed.

"Nope, we're doing it now. To the kitchens!" Sirius said.

Grudgingly, Lily followed the Marauders down to the lower floor of Hogwarts.

"You know what I'm going to do when Umbridge's mugshot comes out?" Sirius asked as they descended a staircase.

"What?" James said.

"I'm going to frame it," Sirius said resolutely.

"Frame it?" Remus said dubiously.

"Frame it," Sirius nodded. "And stick it to the dormitory wall with a permanent sticking charm to forever remind me

"Do you really want to be looking at that toad for the rest of your Hogwarts career?" Lily said.

"No," Sirius said, "but I'll draw on her face like the muggles do sometimes with their non-moving pictures."

Lily laughed. "Show me when you do," she said.

The group reached the portrait that covered the kitchen door.

James tickled the pear, and the group stepped inside.

The house elves had been preparing some sort of dish when they walked in, but hurriedly dropped what they were doing to greet the Marauders and Lily.

"Messrs and Ms!" one of the smallest ones squeaked. "What can we be doing for you?"

"Five glasses of butterbeer," Sirius instructed.

The elves scurried to provide this happily.

"You can get butterbeer in the kitchens?" Lily asked.

"Yeah," Remus said. "We figured that out not too long ago. We've only been down here twice for it since, you haven't missed much."

The elves returned quickly, holding five mugs of foaming butterbeer.

"Thanks, " James told them, then raised his glass. "To Umbridge's demise and our new friendship with Evans."

The other Marauders raised their mugs and repeated the toast.

"To Umbridge's demise," Lily agreed, then added, "but we aren't friends, Potter. Not even close."

"You've tolerated them more than usual," Remus reasoned. "I'd say that's an accomplishment and a step in that direction."

"I thought you'd be on my side," Lily sighed.

"Just pointing out the facts," Remus shrugged, then took a sip of butterbeer.

"He's also a Marauder," James said. "Marauders stand by Marauders and all that. You're welcome to join if you want his support, though."

Before Lily could roll her eyes and answer, Sirius said, "No. No, this is a closed group. Mates from the boys dormitories only. Evans isn't allowed."

"First and last time I ever agree with Sirius Black," Lily said.

"Sirius isn't in charge of the group," James said. "We could vote you in, I'm sure Remus and Peter would be happy to."

"I'm out," Lily said. "Let's just finish our toast to demise and then I can go back to hating you. With the exceptions of Remus and Peter."

"Why don't you hate them?" James asked. "What's wrong with me?"

"They're more rational and aren't so rowdy," Lily said simply.

"Rowdy? Remus is the one who comes up with the rowdy ideas. And Peter helps with them!" Sirius insisted.

Remus and Peter exchanged a look.

"Just because we come up with the ideas doesn't mean that we mean to do them," Peter offered.

"He has a point," Remus nodded.

"You meant to do the ashwinder!" James protested.

"Ashwinders," Remus corrected.

"Exactly!" said James.

"Which brings us to another topic," said Remus. "Best part of the Umbridge regime."

"Getting her arrested," said Sirius. "Or when Minnie winked at me that one night at dinner."

"April Fools," said James.

"The teacups," nodded Remus.

"The food fight," Peter decided.

"What's your thing with food?" Sirius asked.

"You like it, too," Peter said.

"Good point," Sirius agreed.

"That voice charm from D.A.D.A," Lily said.

"When we initiated Operation 2419?" James clarified.

"That was brilliant," Sirius said with a grin.

"It was not," Remus said flusteredly, going slightly red.

"It was pretty entertaining," James shrugged.

"It's not happening again," Remus said.

"It will if we need a distraction," Sirius said.

"No." Remus shook his head. "I'm going to write myself out of all the Operations."

"You threatened that before."

"Well, I'm doing it for real this time."

"But Moony-"

"It's not happening again," Remus said, then attempted to change the subject. "Anyway, I'm sure we have better things to talk about than the Operations, so-"

"That reminds me!" James exclaimed suddenly. "Evans, we're going to be doing another April Fools Day prank, and we were wondering-"

"When he says 'we' were wondering, that means he was wondering," Sirius injected.

"Alright, fine, _I_ was wondering if you wanted to help us-"

"Nope," Lily said with a smirk, "After this, I'm done helping the Marauders with their scheming."

"Come on, you'll miss out on all the fun!" James said.

"She won't, she's on the Marauder hit-list, remember?" Sirius said. "She ruined my proposal to Minnie."

Lily rolled her eyes. "How many times do I have to say it? She was going to say 'no' anyway-"

"Minnie loves me," Sirius insisted, "and she was going to say yes. Speaking of Minnie, I could go for one of her biscuits right about now..." He set down his mug of butterbeer and went to go and talk to one of the house elves.

The others watched him wander off and were silent for a moment before they resumed talking.

"When did Melior say the practical would be?" Lily asked.

"Thursday, I think," Peter said.

Remus nodded.

"I don't think that we need a practical on Doxies," James said. "They're not bad, you just hit them with a stunning spell or something."

"It's good to have the practice, though," Lily said matter-of-factly.

"Practice for what?" Sirius asked, cramming a biscuit into his mouth. He was holding a large plate of them and had come back from by the elves.

"Doxies," James said.

"I leave and you four go off talking about the Defense Against the Dark Arts practical?" Sirius said, feigning shock. "This is a problem! It's a disaster! What am I ever going to do with you?"

"Worry about those three," Lily said, setting down her empty glass and then pointing at Peter, James, and Remus. "Particularly Potter."

"James," Sirius said sternly, "What did we say about studying?"

"I wasn't- I didn't-" James stammered. "Evans!" he shouted as he saw Lily's grin.

"Buddies before studies," Sirius continued, "and that goes for Remus and Peter two. Understood?"

"See you later," Lily said smugly. With that, she left the kitchen.

The next morning, Umbridge's mugshot was released.

"She's not wearing pink," James said as he passed around the Daily Prophet. "And no bow. It's an improvement."

"It is," Sirius agreed, "but did you really think they'd let her go to Azkaban clad in a fuzzy cardigan?"

"It's hard to think of her any other way than in a cardigan," Peter shrugged.

Sirius had something else to say, but didn't get much farther than the first word of his comment. "That-"

"Is it true?"

The Marauders whirled around to find Regulus Black looking at them intently.

"What?" Sirius asked blankly.

"The thing in the paper," Regulus said. "Haven't you seen it?"

Sirius pulled the copy of the Daily Prophet out of James' hands and read it aloud.

 **The Identity of "The Marauders"**

 _As many people in the magical community are aware, Dolores Umbridge, a former teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and Ministry of Magic employee, has been sent to Azkaban Prison on accounts of using illegal methods of discipline._

 _Sentenced to eight months in Azkaban, Umbridge was asked if she had anything to say before being taken there. Her response was an unusual one._

" _This sentence is unjust," she said, "I, Dolores Jane Umbridge, have done nothing wrong. The Marauders are the ones to blame. Those boys are simply meddling in things that ought not to be meddled in. I was framed and caught in the crossfire, and as such, when I return from this obstruction of justice, I plan on resuming my post and fixing their meddle. Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew, you haven't gotten away with anything."_

 _The so-dubbed "Marauders" are the group that sent Umbridge the Howler which led to this investigation. Up until this point, the identity of this group was unknown. The only things the Ministry was certain of was that they were students during Umbridge's year at Hogwarts._

 _According to Ministry records, there are five boys with these surnames that currently attend the school: Regulus and Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter. Four of these students, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James, were at Hogwarts during the year that Umbridge taught. Regulus is currently a first year._

 _Because of school policies, none of the students nor their parents could be reached for comment at the present time._

 _Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts did not comment on the newly released information either._

 _Whether Umbridge was telling the truth remains to be seen. Unless these boys or someone else confirms or denies anything, the identity of "the Marauders" is still a mystery._

 _However, seeing as there is no direct answer, it is up for you to decide: Is this just another plot of Umbridge's, or are these boys behind the scandal?_

Sirius was silent for a moment, then glanced at the others.

James was furious, staring at the newspaper as though he could will it to disintegrate.

Peter appeared to be nervous and on-edge, much more so than only a minute ago when he had been commenting on Umbridge's pink cardigans.

Remus had visibly paled and looked as though he were torn between staying there and leaping out of his seat to rush out of the Great Hall.

At last, Sirius turned to Regulus. "It's not what it looks like," Sirius said slowly.

"You got her fired and thrown in Azkaban," Regulus said incredulously. "She was just a teacher."

"She was a teacher just like Mum," Sirius said sharply. "She used blood quills on the lot of us and took points and gave us detention whenever she could. She tortured us. It was a lot like being back home, back in London. Wouldn't you have done the same thing?"

Regulus shook his head. "I don't like Mum much more than you, but would you really send her there?"

Sirius looked him directly in the eye. "The only reason I'm not going to try is because if it worked Dad would be locked up too, which wouldn't be a real shame, but it would land the two of us out on the bloody street and leave us worse off than before. Regulus, it would leave _you_ worse off. I would do it for me, but they treat you fine, and I'm not going to compromise that."

Regulus was quiet.

"She provoked us," Sirius said. "Regulus, I promise you, we didn't intend on sending her to Azkaban until after she made that outrageous accusation earlier this year. Even then we only wanted her apprehended or sacked from her job in the Ministry."

"The accusation…. That article where she claimed there was a werewolf at Hogwarts," Regulus said. "That's not true, is it?"

Sirius hesitated.

"No, it's not," James said levely. "Ever since we pranked Umbridge in retaliation for using the blood quills, she's been out to get us."

Regulus gave him a critical look.

Peter nodded convincingly.

"Alright. But Sirius," he said, then paused, "Mum's either going to be after your hide or she'll be dead proud."

"She could never be proud of me," Sirius said, though his voice wavered. "Never. I'm a Gryffindor, and she's got you, the perfect son, to be happy about."

The five boys were quiet for a moment.

"I've got to get back to the table," Regulus said finally. "See you later."

"Bye," Sirius said.

Regulus turned and walked off to the other end of the hall, back to the Slytherin table. Halfway there he paused, then turned back around. "Good luck."

Sirius gave him a small smile, then turned back to the others. "What do we want to do?"

"What do you mean?" James asked. "What can we do? That bloody toad-"

"Do we want to claim the title of Marauders, do we want to deny it, or something else? We don't have to-"

"Oi! Potter!"

James turned towards the shout.

Hallie Klosse from the Gryffindor Quidditch team was striding down from the other end of the table, holding the Daily Prophet in one hand.

James swore.

"Why don't we take this conversation somewhere quieter?" Remus suggested nervously.

James and Peter nodded readily.

"Potter!" Hallie called, getting closer.

"Let's go," James decided.

Hurriedly, the Marauders stood and rushed out of the hall.

That was when James exploded.

"That bloody toad!" he shouted to the mostly empty corridor. "That bloody, sodding toad! That son of a-"

"Keep your voice down," Remus implored. "We'll be in enough trouble as it is, we should go off breaking any more school rules at the moment."

"There was never a rule against shouting in the corridors," Sirius pointed out over James' shouting.

"It's kind of a given," Remus said.

James continued his rant against Umbridge for the remainder of the walk to Gryffindor Tower.

"I swear, when she gets out of Azkaban, I'm going to stick my wand up her-"

"You really ought to mind your tongue. Password?" the portrait interrupted.

James stopped shouting.

"Bezoar," Peter said.

The portrait swung inward, and the Marauders hurried up to their dormitory.

"Why did she do that?" James demanded as he collapsed on his bed. "She's off to Azkaban, what's it to her?"

"It was a last attempt to get us in trouble, the final move," Remus said. "And it worked. She gave our names to the Prophet and the Ministry. The teachers are going to have to talk to us, if we aren't expelled-"

"We won't be expelled," Sirius said sagely. "Dumbledore would only throw a bloke out if they straight up murdered someone."

"You might," Remus agreed, "but under my circumstances-"

"No," James said, cutting him off. "Either we all stay or none of us do. And do you really think Dumbledore would expel you?"

Remus was quiet.

"Unless…. Bloody hell." James was silent for a moment. "Would the public records show-"

"I don't know," Remus said hopelessly. "I've never seen them, but if the Ministry finds out, Dumbledore won't be able to do anything."

"What?" Peter said, plainly confused.

"The records might mention Remus' furry little problem," James said quietly.

"Oh," Peter said in response. " _Oh_."

"They didn't," Sirius said surely. "I'm positive. Otherwise that Skeeter person would have mentioned it in the paper, even Dumbledore couldn't bribe her to be quiet."

The four were quiet for a moment.

"Let's not worry about that, then," James said. "It makes sense that she would have said something about it if she knew. It says that she checked the public records. If it's not in the paper, then she must not know."

"Are you sure?" Remus asked.

"Yes," James said, unblinking.

"The only problem that we're left with," Sirius said, "is what we're going to do about it all."

"The school knows, doesn't it?" James said. "I don't know that we'd get anywhere denying it."

"We could try," Sirius shrugged. "The four of us are alright at lying."

"Evans," James pointed out.

"We can bribe Evans," Sirius offered.

"I think that we should just come out with it," Remus said. "It's no use lying, and I'm pretty sure Dumbledore already suspected us. Anyway, Umbridge wants to force us into it, that's what she's doing. The best we can do to get back is to do it willingly and on our own terms."

"Do you have a plan?" Peter asked.

"There was something that I found in the Potions textbook. Right in the back. If we time everything right, we can go out with a bang."

Sirius smirked. "Who said we were going out?"


	25. Potion Brewing

The Marauders had figured out the plan within an hour. By then, History of Magic was practically over. Since they hadn't shown up, people would assume that they wouldn't be in lessons. Hopefully it would work to their advantage.

Shrouded in the invisibility cloak, they crept through the empty corridors.

"Which way to the storeroom?" Peter whispered.

"Left and down a flight," Remus whispered back.

They lapsed back into silence as they made their way around the corner and down a flight of stairs. A minute or so later, they were in front of a small wooden door, which had been latched shut.

" _Alohomora_ ," Sirius muttered.

The latch undid itself with a click, and the Marauders slipped inside of the storeroom.

"We're going to need boom berries, dragon horn, fluxweed, lacewing flies, and essence of wormwood," Remus said.

"Alright," James said. "Can anyone read this? I think this one says 'bat spleens,' but I'm not sure."

" _Lumos_ ," Peter said, sticking his wand hand out of the cloak.

"We'll get caught!" James protested.

"We can't see anything, we'll just have to be fast," Sirius said.

With a sigh, James drew his own wand and began reading through the various labels.

They were out of the Potions storeroom soon enough, and then it was back to the dormitory, where Peter pulled out his cauldron and Remus his textbook.

"It needs about an hour to simmer," Remus said, pointing at the passage. "That's when we can go out to the forest and get that scale. Someone will need to stay here to stir every so often, though."

"I'll stay, I'm the best here at potion making and all that," Sirius volunteered, almost eagerly. "Just don't have any fun without me."

"No promises," James said, oblivious to his friend's lack of want for adventure. "So what do we do first?"

"We need a fire," Remus said, "but I'm not sure how that will work, because I don't think anyone would appreciate the dorm on fire."

"Relax, that was only once in first year. _Incendio!_ " James pointed his wand at the cauldron.

There was a spark, but nothing else happened.

"Why didn't it work?"

"Because the cauldron is fireproofed. Here, grab mine. We can throw some old papers into it, start those on fire, and then set Peter's on top of mine," Remus said.

It took a good five minutes to set up the workspace, and another half hour to get the potion to the simmering point.

"I'd better not miss anything," Sirius said as the others got ready to sneak back out.

"You won't. That is, unless we find that group of Red Caps," James said.

"Don't find them without me," Sirius said.

"We aren't planning on it," Remus assured him.

"Alright, let's go," James said.

He, Peter, and Remus disappeared once again under the invisibility cloak, and they began their walk through the newly fallen snow to the Forbidden Forest.

When they had gotten past the tree line, the light dimmed slightly as they followed the slightly-tread upon path.

It took a few short minutes to reach the location of Adain's cage.

Adain was pacing back and forth, watching the forest from behind the metal bars. She looked back and forth in an almost bored manner.

"I don't see any scales," James said.

"They'll be buried, it just stopped snowing not too long ago," Remus said.

"Good point," James said, "but do we really have to dig through the snow?"

"Unless you've got a better idea?" Remus said casually, making to remove the cloak.

" _Accio dragon scale_ ," James said smugly.

Like a bullet, a green scale shot from beneath the snow cover and into James' hand, which he had stuck out from under the cloak.

Adain's earthy brown eyes snapped to where James' hand had appeared and swiftly vanished. She gave a odd noise, somewhere between a growl and a chuff.

"What does that mean?" Peter asked nervously.

"She knows that we're here," Remus said. "We should get back."

"Agreed," James said. "Doesn't Kettleburn have another class this hour?"

"Probably."

Quietly as possible, they began to hurry back to the castle.

They returned as Sirius was completing his third stirring session.

"You're back. Brilliant. Did you stop by the kitchens?" he asked.

"No," James said. "We got the scale, though."

"Remind me why we needed one from Addy," Sirius said.

"Adain," Remus corrected, "and it was because it had to be from a live dragon. The scales in the storeroom were years old, there was no way of telling whether their owners were alive or not."

"What would happen if we had used one of the scales from a dead dragon?" James asked.

"We would have zombie dragon hybrids," Remus said seriously.

"That would be brilliant," James said, while Sirius asked, "What's a zombie?"

"They're dead people that have been resurrected," Peter explained.

"Aren't those called inferi?" Sirius said.

Peter shrugged.

"Anyway, can someone take this over or go down to the kitchens? I'm starved!"

Sirius said.

"You keep stirring," James said. "Peter, I'm enlisting you to journey to the kitchens with me to grab lunch. Remus, make sure he doesn't blow anything up."

With that, James and Peter vanished yet again under the cloak.

"We're getting our use out of that thing," Sirius noted.

"Yeah," Remus agreed.

They were quiet for a moment.

"You don't usually volunteer to stay behind," Remus said at last.

"Just didn't feel like it," Sirius said, suddenly sounding sharp.

"It's about what Regulus said earlier, isn't it?" Before Sirius could make a retort, Remus pressed on, "You don't have to talk about it, I'm not going to force you, but if you want to, I'll listen."

There was quiet, then-

"The last time they were proud of me- really proud of me, I mean- was the beginning of the summer before first year. I singled out a shopkeeper as a muggle-born. They were so proud," Sirius said bitterly, "So bloody damned proud. The shopkeeper, instead of looking 'put in his place,' as Mum and Dad always called their hurt looks, was more angry than hurt. He shouted at my mum and dad, told them off for raising me to judge people that way. Then he turned to me and said that if you really want to judge a person, you do it based off of how they treat their inferiors, not their equals. I was confused, and asked my mum what he meant. She told me not to think on it, then shouted at the shopkeeper for putting ideas in my head, then hexed him so badly he had to go to St. Mungo's. After that, they told me they'd buy me an owl if I didn't think on what he had said. I agreed, and I was true to my word; I didn't give it any thought until that train ride to Hogwarts, when I met you, James, and Peter. Then you three and Minnie were able to straighten me out. When I went home for the Christmas holidays, my mum had been sorely disappointed because I had been put in Gryffindor, and she was beyond furious when I referred to Evans as a 'muggle-born' and not a you-know-what. As punishment for letting myself go soft, she used…. Well, you know."

Remus was unable to keep quiet any longer. "Sirius-"

"She said it was also punishment for disgracing the Noble House of Black, for not making her proud." Sirius' voice dropped in volume as he whispered almost inaudibly, "I said that maybe I didn't want to make her proud. She then shouted a bit, and told me that if I ever changed my mind, she'd be happy to remind me of my place. If making her proud means being like her, using _that_ , judging people right away, being so uptight and snobbish and loud, then I don't want to do anything that even resembles something that would."

The two were silent as this sank in.

"For what it's worth," Remus said eventually, "I don't think that you're much like your mum. Well, based off of what you've said."

"Thanks," Sirius said.

"Hey," Remus said softly, "If you do happen to make them proud, at least you did it for you, not them."

"That's a good way to think of it," Sirius said with a weak smile.

They sat quietly for a few minutes before Sirius gave a start. "I should be stirring, shouldn't I?"

"How long has it been since you last stirred?" Remus asked.

"Ten minutes or so," Sirius said.

"Then yeah."

Sirius moved towards the cauldron, picked up his stirring stick, and began to swirl the mixture in a counterclockwise manner. He repeated this motion a few times before switching to a clockwise stir. "Why does the direction and the number of times you stir even matter?" he said. "It's pointless, and it just makes your arm hurt."

"Well, sometimes it's based on how the ingredients have to be distributed," Remus explained, "Other times-"

"No, I know, but it's impractical. I mean, for this, you stir seven times counterclockwise, then twelve times clockwise. Why don't you just stir it five times clockwise?"

"I don't know…." Remus thought for a moment. "I bet we covered it in first year, though. I should look through that textbook." He stood and moved to rummage through his trunk.

"You have your first year textbooks here?" Sirius said.

"Yeah, they're good to have on hand."

"You really are a nerd."

"Indeed I am," Remus said, holding up the textbook he had recovered. Sitting down on his four poster bed, he began paying through the book.

It was then that James and Peter came back, arms laden with food.

"We have food!" Peter announced.

"And good news," James added.

Sirius grabbed a biscuit and popped it into his mouth.

"Don't eat by the cauldron, something could get in the potion and ruin it, or you could accidentally eat some of the potion ingredients and poison yourself," Remus said disapprovingly.

Sirius sighed, but took a few steps back from the cauldron.

"Anyway, you'll want to hear the good news," James said excitedly. "We ran into Minnie in the kitchens, and she asked us where we had been during lessons because there was no way we were all sick at the same time. I told her that we were planning something- hypothetically- and she said after that, 'Hypothetically, Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew, even after all the trouble you've caused, the headmaster isn't going to expel any of you. Hypothetically, he's found you quite entertaining. In fact, he wants to give you an award for special services to the school.'"

"That last part isn't true," Remus said. "There's no way he would do that."

"He gave me points to Gryffindor when I kissed Minnie," Sirius pointed out.

"Well, you can't blame me for embellishing a bit," James shrugged. "Anyway, the good news is, we won't be expelled!"

"You're not joking?" Remus checked.

"I'm as serious as Sirius," James assured him solemnly.

"And I'm always Sirius," Sirius nodded.

Remus grinned.

"Which means we can still pull off this prank," James said. "And I think we get a free pass on the Transfiguration homework, so nothing from Minnie to worry about."

"Brilliant," Sirius said. "I just finished the last rotation, by the way, so we're onto the owls now. I was thinking that since you and Peter were off in the kitchens, Remus and I could take care of the owlery."

Peter shrugged. "It might go faster that way."

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"You and Sirius always argue over which owl you use," Peter said.

"Good point," James said.

"Alright, then Remus and I will be off," Sirius said. "Remus, mate, let's go."

"Hold on, I think that I found the answer to that question about stirring rotations-" Remus started, but was cut off.

"That was rhetorical. Let's go," Sirius said. He then took the book out of Remus' hand and began dragging him out of the dormitory.

"You don't have to kidnap me," Remus said.

"You weren't moving," Sirius said. They exited the dormitory, then clambered out of the portrait hole. "Anyway, I wanted to say thanks. You know, for listening."

"You do it for me," Remus said simply. "It helps to talk it out, and sometimes to have someone tell you that you that you're going about it all wrong."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed.

They walked quietly for a few minutes before Remus exclaimed, "Bugger!"

Sirius looked to him, startled.

"We forgot the cloak," Remus said.

"Oh," Sirius said. "Oh yeah, we did. Well, at least everyone is is class and at lunch or something."

"We'd better not get caught," Remus said.

"Relax, we'll be fine," Sirius assured him.

The conversation became more casual as they went on. Eventually, they reached the owlery, which was, thankfully, empty.

"How many owls do we need?" Sirius asked.

"I think we were doing eight," Remus replied.

"Alright," Sirius said. "You grab four and I'll grab four."

The two were pretty quick in selecting the owls. Within five minutes, they had eight that they began to corral back to Gryffindor Tower.

Fortunately, the corridors were still empty and devoid of both students and staff. That being said, it still took a good twenty minutes of hassle to get the owls up to the dormitory.

James and Peter were waiting when they entered the dormitory, arms laden with birds.

"It's time," James said.

"Did you add the scale?" Remus checked.

"What? Oh-" James tossed the scale into the cauldron. The liquid inside it turned a light blue shade as the scale dissolved. "Now I did."

"What's the stirring pattern?" Sirius said, shooing the owls off of him.

"Three times clockwise and four counterclockwise," James said, glancing at an open textbook.

Sirius did as instructed.

"Now it's time," James said. "Peter, grab the ladle, we've got some owls to feed."


	26. Correspondence and Confrontations

Hogwarts was on edge, to put it lightly.

In the past few hours, the supposed identity of the Marauders had been published in the Daily Prophet, the accused had disappeared, and the day had, so far, been prank free.

The students knew better than that, though.

By the end of the day, probably at dinner, the Marauders would have something to say. There was no doubt about that.

The real debate was over how they would get the school's attention.

Everyone knew it would be a prank of sorts, but the details were what people were worried about.

One fifth year year was convinced that there would be explosions involved.

A fourth year was counting on magical creatures.

There was one first year who was positive that there would be another alien abduction.

The seventh years had set up a betting pool between the houses to determine the outcome.

All in all, Hogwarts waited for dinner with baited breath.

As expected, the accused third years were not present. So, naturally, everyone's focus had turned toward the doors of the Great Hall.

As everyone was looking at the closed doors inside the hall, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were in the corridor, all holding owls and flasks of the potion. Additionally, James had the invisibility cloak stuffed in his pocket.

"We're sure this won't poison them?" Sirius checked anxiously.

Remus nodded. "Positive."

"Last chance to back out," Peter said quietly.

They were silent for a moment, then Remus spoke determinedly.

"I'm in. This is the best we can do. If you don't want to be part of it, I won't stop you from leaving, but I'm in."

"Me too," James decided. "Sirius, Peter?"

"Never," Sirius said with a hardened jaw. "I'm doing this."

"I'll do it, too," Peter said, with only a moment's hesitation.

"Let's do it, then," James said.

The four shared a solemn look.

Then Sirius exclaimed, "Oi! That bloody bird nipped me!"

"It'll be able to do worse than nip in a minute," James said.

"Good point."

"Alright, now," James said, then offered a small vial of the potion to one of the owls that was perched on the crook of his elbow.

The handsome, tawny owl lowered his beak drank a few sips of the blue liquid, then gave a hoot.

Immediately, its feathers began to shorten and harden, then turn a bright, earthy green. He began to elongate, and his large eyes dilated as his beak lengthened into a snout.

Carefully, James set him down.

"Bloody hell," Sirius whispered in awe, now looking down at Adain's mimic.

What had once been an owl was an exact replica of a small Common Welsh Green dragon.

"Bloody hell is right," James agreed. "That worked."

The owl-dragon gave a surprised sound that was half growl, half hoot.

"Come on, we've got to do the others," Sirius said.

Hurriedly, they fed the potion to the other seven owls, who soon enough were almost identical to the first owl-dragon.

James pulled the cloak out of his pocket and threw it over the group.

Then the prank began.

The doors to the Great Hall burst open to reveal the eight owl-dragons to the school.

Of course, the Marauders were the only ones who knew that they weren't real dragons.

A good number of people shouted in alarm, a few people discreetly passed sickles and galleons to their neighbors, and a few people sighed as though they had expected this the whole time.

With a few gentle prods, Remus managed to get the owl-dragons to trod forward a few steps.

A few people yelped.

"Those sodding Marauders are going to get us killed!"

"If it is Potter, Black, Pettigrew, and Lupin, I'm going to stick my wand up their-"

"Dragon!"

Needless to say, there was chaos, which intensified as the owl-dragons took a few more tentative steps into the Great Hall.

Then Peter and James lit the fireworks.

There was an explosion of scarlet and gold in the doorway, causing a few more people to shout.

It also caused the owl-dragons to start. They reared, then ran towards the other end of the hall, away from the color and noise.

People began to shout even more, rising to stream out of the hall.

As quickly as they could under the invisibility cloak, the Marauders sidestepped the crowd, watching as they began hurrying to get away from the creatures.

While everyone gathered in the corridor, the fireworks stopped, quickly as they had begun. They had been the only thing keeping the owl-dragons from running or flying back from the teachers, who were attempting to subdue the creatures.

When the fireworks stopped and the owl-dragons noticed that, they bolted for the door, towards the students.

There was a shriek.

The teachers were firing spells more quickly and with more fervor, but they were not the ones that stopped the owl-dragons.

Fighting his way through the crowd, James whipped out his wand and gave a shout, pointing his wand at the owl-dragons. " _Offero Reverte!_ "

The owl-dragons began to shrink almost immediately; Their green scales faded in brightness and color and began to soften.

The school broke out in talk immediately.

"Holy-"

"How'd they do that?"

"Who fixed it?"

"Owls?"

"Those sodding-"

It was at this moment that Sirius pulled out his wand and wrote above the crowd:

 _Now that that's taken care of, let's get down to the reason of this excitement._

The volume in the corridor dropped almost instantly as people pointed the message out, waiting anxiously for more.

 _We're sure by now that you've heard what that toad has to say about us._

There were a few murmurs, but it was mostly silent.

 _In the past few hours, there's probably been a good deal of speculation over whether she told the truth. Probably for the first time in that git's miserable life, she was being honest._

More coins were passed to housemates as the words continued to appear.

 _We, the Messrs Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter, have now claimed the title of the Marauders._

People began looking wildly around for the four boys, who smirked under the invisibility cloak.

 _We're sure you've all got questions, but we'd like to ask you to keep them to yourselves. We'd also like to apologize for any injuries we've caused, unless they occurred to a bloke that goes by Snivellus._

In the crowd, Snape went red and began to whisper angrily with some of the people around him, fellow Slytherins.

 _On that happy note, have a nice night!_

There was a moment of quiet. Then there was an eruption of sound.

"Those bloody sons of-"

"They're _third years_!"

"At least now I know who to thank for Umbridge's imprisonment."

"You owe me six galleons, hand them over, Jorkins."

"Oh, sod it, Skeeter."

To the Marauders, the chaos was the next best thing to secrecy. In all honesty, they were reveling in it ever so slightly.

The next morning, there were two Howlers sent to the Gryffindor table. One was addressed to a 'James Fleamont Potter,' which made Sirius laugh. ("What sort of middle name is that?")

The other was for Peter Pettigrew, no middle name included, who was thoroughly chewed out.

Sirius and Remus both got regular letters. Remus opened his right away and read it with an odd expression; Sirius ripped his in half before opening it.

"Is that-?" James asked hesitantly.

"First thing she's sent me since first year," Sirius confirmed.

"Aren't you going to read it?" Peter said.

Sirius' face darkened. "It won't have anything I want to hear."

On another topic, despite their instructions to not ask questions, the Marauders were bombarded with questions from the students of Hogwarts.

James and Peter didn't seem to mind the attention. They didn't quiet bask in it, but they were clearly enjoying themselves.

Remus was no fan of it, yet despite his urge to hide in the dormitory until the school's novelty of knowing the identity of the Marauders wore off, stayed beside his friends.

Sirius replied to the attention by threatening people with being put on the Marauder hit-list.

This cleared off a good fraction of the crowd, who knew all too well what the four boys could do.

Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to ward off everyone.

Remus, Peter, Sirius, and James were on their way to Charms when they found themselves in the same corridor as a decently-sized group of Slytherins.

There were about ten of them in all, and the boys recognized a few of them: Snape, Rosier, and Regulus were part of the crowd, though Regulus seemed to be hanging near the back, glancing every so often back the way he had come, as though he wanted to leave.

"So," a dark haired sixth year drawled. "the Marauders have been unmasked, have they?"

"I believe they have, Macnair," one of the seventh years agreed.

"Didn't you hear, Lestrange?" Sirius said impatiently. "We're not taking questions. Go back to the dungeons."

"We have a special question," Rosier said.

"Well, we aren't taking it," James said resolutely.

"Oh, I think you'd want to answer us." Lestrange pulled his wand from his robes and began twirling it absentmindedly between his fingers. "It would be a shame if you had to miss your next lesson."

"A real shame," Sirius said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Drop it, we aren't going to waste our time on you."

"Would you waste it on young Regulus here?" Lestrange asked, pulling Sirius' brother to the front of the group.

"It's not wasted if you do it by choice," Sirius said.

Macnair sneered at the boys, then turned to Lestrange and the other Slytherins. "That's why the git is in Gryffindor, he's too bloody soft."

"That's Hufflepuff, genius," James said. "Of course, I didn't expect you to be able to tell the difference, you need brains to do that."

Macnair sent a hex flying in James' direction.

James leapt out of the way, drawing his wand. The Marauders and other Slytherins drew theirs as well, with the exception of Regulus, who looked quite nervous and out of place.

Hexes were flying across the corridor without rhyme or reason. It was just the group of boys and their wands, firing at whoever was in front of them. Flashes of light illuminated the walls as the pandemonium increased.

It was just their luck that no teachers or or students walked in on the intensifying duel. Within minutes, a good six Slytherins, including Lestrange and Macnair, were laying on the ground, unconscious. They were joined by James and Peter, who were sprawled across the stone floor.

Sirius, Remus, Snape, Regulus, Rosier, and a second year Slytherin were the only ones left standing when the jinxes began to cease.

"We haven't even asked our question yet," Rosier jeered.

Sirius hit him with a stunning spell, sending him to join the others on the floor.

The second year gave a shout of, " _Expelliarmus!_ "

Sirius' wand flew from his grasp. He gave a shout of outrage and made to go after the boy.

"Tell you what, Black," Snape said. "You hear our question and Crouch'll give your wand back."

Sirius and Remus exchanged glances.

"Fine," Sirius said angrily. He snatched the wand from Crouch's hand. "Ask your bloody question."

"A few months ago," Snape said slowly, "I seem to recall an article claiming there was a half-breed at Hogwarts. It included details that seemed to place you four, the Marauders, as the accused."

Behind Sirius, Remus began to pale.

Sirius did not seem to be taking Snape's statement well either.

"What do you want, Snivellus?" he snarled.

Snape peered at him, Remus, and the unconscious James and Peter. "I'm curious. Tell me, which of you is the werewolf?"

Regulus looked between the two groups. "Sirius said that was a lie- right, Sirius?"

Sirius looked both guilty and torn. He opened his mouth, hesitated, then said nothing.

"Right? Sirius? It- it is a lie, right? Sirius?"

When Sirius looked fixedly at the wall instead of responding, Snape took this for an answer.

"Seems it's not," Snape purred. "He's lying to you, Regulus."

"He wouldn't," Regulus said, disbelieving.

"Stop it, Snivellus," Sirius said, pained.

"I don't think I will, Black," Snape said with a malicious smirk on his face. "Now, if you'd answer the question, I'm sure your brother would love to know what sort his brother is spending time with."

The corridor grew silent.

Sirius stood frozen and unsure.

Remus was also frozen, only instead of indecisiveness, it was fear that kept him still.

Snape and Crouch were triumphantly smug, as though they had already won.

Regulus was continuing to look between the parties.

The corridor remained quiet until someone spoke.

"Well, If Black won't answer, maybe he will," Crouch said, gesturing at Remus.

If possible, Remus would have gone paler.

"Lupin, do you have an answer?" Snape said.

Trying to look as believable as he could, Remus shook his head.

Crouch gave a dissatisfied hum. "Stupid gits."

"I think Lupin might know more than he's telling, actually," Snape said. "He's looking paler than normal, and that's saying something."

"You're one to be talking," Sirius spat at Snape.

"If you don't have an answer," Snape began.

"Save it, you won't get anything out of us."

"That's not an answer."

"Can we just part ways here?" Remus interrupted, surprisingly steadily. "I think that we've made it more than clear that we aren't answering questions, and we all have to get to class-"

"That rule goes for you too, not just Black," Snaps said venomously.

"Please, Sirius," Regulus said timidly. "Your friend is right, class is going to start soon and-"

Sirius made an odd, choked noise. "You- you're siding with them?"

"You were lying," Regulus said. "They're not."

"I didn't- don't- like it, alright? I made a promise, though," Sirius said.

"So you've chosen them," Regulus said, sounding detached.

"I think he has," Snape agreed quietly.

"Stay out of this, Snivellus," Sirius snarled, then said more softly, "What do you mean, I've 'chosen them?'"

"You're lying to me- your brother- so that no one knows that they're a monster."

Remus cringed, but this went unnoticed.

"They're not a monster!" Sirius protested. "I would trust them with my life. Them, and James, and-" He broke off as he realized what he had said.

"So it's not Potter," Snape noted. "That narrows it down to Lupin and Pettigrew."

Sirius turned an ashen shade.

Remus' breath caught in his chest as he fought the urge to run and get away from here, _anywhere_ away from here.

"Anything to say, Lupin?" Snape asked casually.

Remus was silent.

"It doesn't just narrow it down to them," Sirius said suddenly.

"What are you saying, Black?" Crouch said lazily.

"I'm saying that I'd trust myself with my own life," Sirius shrugged.

"No," Regulus said, shaking his head. "You're not- you couldn't be-"

Sirius was quiet.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" said Snape.

"That depends on what you think I'm saying," said Sirius.

"Are you the-"

"No, he's not."

Everyone turned towards Remus.

Remus took a shaky breath, then continued. "It's not him."

"And then who would it be?" Snape asked.

Sirius and Remus shared a look.

Sirius shook his head ever so slightly, eyes wide with concern.

Remus met his eyes, but could not bring himself to say anything.

"I believe we've found it," Snape said quietly.

Remus' breath hitched.

"Lupin. I should've-"

" _Obliviate!_ " Sirius shouted, wand pointed at Snape.

A glassy look passed over Snape's eyes. He tried to take a few confused steps, but fell disorientedly to the floor.

Sirius did it again. " _Obliviate!_ "

This time it was Crouch that wobbled forward and fell.

Now Sirius' wand was pointed towards Regulus, who had also drawn his wand.

"I'll- I'll hex you," Regulus threatened unsurely.

Hand shaking, Sirius replied, "Not if I do it first."

They stood staring at each other, neither wanting to be the first to hex the other.

"Sirius, let him go," Remus said when neither moved.

"What?" Sirius said, turning to look at him.

"Regulus," Remus said desperately, eyes meeting the Slytherin's, "please don't tell anyone."

Regulus didn't move.

"Please, Sirius won't hex you, but you can't tell anyone," Remus said. "Please."

It was quiet for a moment before Regulus nodded. "Alright. I promise."

Sirius lowered his wand right away. "Regulus, I'm sorry-"

Regulus heard none of it. He had turned and ran, leaving the Slytherins and the Marauders.


	27. Sparkles and a Proposal

Regulus did not speak with Sirius at all in the next week, nor with any of the other Marauders. On the contrary, he seemed to be spending more time with Lestrange, Macnair, Rosier, Snape, and Crouch.

Sirius did not take well to this, though he made no move to go after his brother.

The charm that had been placed on Snape and Crouch prevented them from remembering what exactly they had been doing in the corridor that day.

Lestrange, Macnair, and Rosier told them that they had been speaking with the Marauders when they had been hexed out of nowhere.

Snape and Crouch believed this. Regulus was silent on the matter.

On matters apart from this, Remus left briefly to deal with his "furry little problem," February came, and the pattern of normal life was restored.

Currently, James was plotting with Peter and Sirius, who had thrown himself eagerly into the task.

"We have fourteen days," James said. "Well, thirteen, because we can't plan on the fourteenth. Anyway, this'll be the year! We just need a good plan."

"James," Remus said, glancing up from his book, "I don't think Lily really wants to go out with you."

"Come on Remus, have some faith!" James said.

"Yeah, Moony," Sirius said. "Remember what Dumbledore said: 'If you and Minerva work, than James and Lily have a chance.'"

Remus simply shook his head and went back to his book.

"Do you think she'd like fireworks?" James asked. "There's a Hogsmeade visit a few days before."

"I don't know. I mean, girls like poetry. And, you know, glitter and stuff," Sirius said.

"She might like it if you just asked," Peter offered.

James shook his head. "It should be exciting."

"I know!" Sirius said. "Do it during class!"

"Brilliant! I think this proposal will work."

"I wouldn't call it a proposal," Remus said.

Sirius sighed. "This one's not in the Valentines Day spirit."

"I think we need to fix that," James said.

Sirius nodded sagely. "I think we do."

"Do you have any cheesy romance mixtapes?"

"Cheesy romance what?"

"Mixtapes."

"What are those?"

"Oh, yeah. They're a muggle thing. Have you ever heard of a cassette?"

Sirius shook his head. "Bigoted parents, remember?"

"Well, they're a sort of box that you stick in another box, then you stick these string things into the box and press a button and it plays different kinds of music. Peter, do you have any?"

"Mixtapes?" Peter said. "Not here."

"Alright, what else can we do?" James asked.

"We can make him read a romance novel," Sirius suggested.

"No," Remus said immediately. "That last one of those I read did not end well."

"Well, we need to get you into the lover's mood," Sirius said. "All sappy and romantic."

Remus sighed.

Along with the planning of James' proposal, there was the matter of another prank to be put in action. Specifically on Slytherin House.

It was set for the fourteenth as well.

Overall, there was a great deal of plotting between the four Marauders in the days preceding Valentines Day.

The twelfth was a Saturday and the day of a Hogsmeade visit. James, Remus, and Peter headed out of the main gate in high spirits. Sirius snuck down the secret passageway they had found.

The four met up at Honeydukes, but didn't stay long, as Sirius insisted, "If we stay here, we won't have any money left for butterbeer, _or_ what we need for Monday. Which means, Marauders, to Zonko's!"

With only a slight complaint from Remus and Peter, they made their way to the brightly colored shop.

No one gave them the slightest glance. They blended into the crowd, which would make their job a lot easier. Also, it would add to the surprise when the prank took place.

Despite the lack of attention they were getting, they didn't want to take any chances. They were out of Zonko's more quickly than they had ever been.

From there, the boys walked to the Three Broomsticks.

"Oi, Rosmerta!" Sirius called when they came in. "How about that firewhiskey?"

The barmaid grinned. "Sorry, but you're still underage," Rosmerta said. "Maybe you'd want a butterbeer instead."

Sirius staged a dramatic sigh. "If you insist."

"Butterbeers for you three as well?" Rosmerta said.

"Yeah," Remus said.

"Actually, if he can't have that firewhiskey," James said, "do you think that maybe I could?"

Rosmerta shook her head. "I'll get you a fourth butterbeer."

James shrugged. "It was worth a try."

Rosmerta disappeared to grab some glasses.

When she returned, the boys thanked her, passed over some money, then found a table.

"It's not as crowded as it was last time," Sirius noted.

The others nodded, glancing around the pub. The last time they had been there, there had been goblins, children, and other witches and wizards, all chatting and bargaining. Now it was filled with mostly Hogwarts students. There were only a few people that were not from the school.

"Good," James said. "Then no one'll overhear ny idea."

Remus looked at him, somewhat warily. "What idea?"

"The best idea in the history of ideas," James said.

"Better than the food fight?" Sirius said.

"The teacups?" Remus said.

"Sneaking into Hogsmeade?" Sirius said.

"The mandrake leaves?" Peter added.

Sirius looked quickly around the pub. "Not here, Peter."

"Sorry," Peter said.

"It's fine, no one heard," Sirius said after a moment.

"Anyway," James said, "It might not be the _best_ idea, but it's one of the best. What if we went camping in the Forbidden Forest?"

"No," Remus said.

"No," Peter agreed.

"Yes!" Sirius shouted. "Mate, that's brilliant!"

A few heads turned in their direction, then quickly looked away.

"That's against the rules," Remus protested.

"My being here is against the rules and you aren't complaining," Sirius pointed out.

"I mean it's against _against_ the rules."

"Double against the rules?"

"Yeah."

"All the more reason to do it!"

"No," Peter said. "Even if we wanted to do it, it's February and there's snow outside. I'm not camping in the snow, or in the Forbidden Forest."

"That's the beauty of the plan," James said eagerly. "We have a few months to plan it!"

Peter and Remus exchanged a glance.

"Why don't we talk about something else," Peter suggested. "Like how the Quidditch season is going to resume?"

"Right! Hallie said that we'd be starting practices again as soon as the snow melts and it's not below freezing," James started.

"Now he's going to go off on one of his Quidditch rants," Remus sighed.

"You know me too well," James grinned. "I'll do a special one just for you, Remus!"

Remus sighed again.

James' rant lasted only until they left the Three Broomsticks for Honeydukes. Compared to their past visits there, it was extremely brief. With considerably lighter money-bags, they stood shivering as they debated what to do next.

"What next?" Sirius asked.

"Well, I'm in need of new quill, so I'm going to head to Scrivenshaft's," Remus said.

"Of course you're taking the weekend to do school stuff," James said.

Remus shrugged. "I might as well get it while I'm here."

"We can come with," Sirius offered. "Or we can look around a bit more and see if there's somewhere we should go. We could meet up back here."

"Sure," Remus said. "Half an hour?"

"Brilliant," James said.

They went their separate ways with nods.

When the half hour had passed, Remus returned to find the others in front of Honeydukes.

"Anything?" he asked.

Sirius shook his head. "We asked around. A lot of people suggested the Shrieking Shack, but…. Yeah. Other than that, there's the Post Office that people have said is impressive, but Peter says that unless you want to send a letter, there's not much to see."

"We could always head back early and review the plan," Remus said.

"We can't," James said. "Minnie won't let us in, she said we'd be staying the whole day. Well, I'm supposed to, Sirius isn't supposed to be here."

The four fell quiet.

Then Sirius swore suddenly. "We should have brought the cloak! Then we could have pretended to be some of those 'violent spirits' that are supposed to haunt the Shack!"

"Next time," James decided.

When the morning of the fourteenth came, the Marauders were in a good mood. Particularly James and Sirius.

The two of them woke early, jostling Remus and Peter out of their sleep by throwing flowers at them.

"Feel the love!" Sirius called. "Everyone up!"

"Ouch," Peter muttered, gingerly tossing a thorny rose off his bed.

"Why ouch, Peter? They're just flowers!" Sirius said.

"Roses have thorns," Remus said.

In response to this, Sirius threw another rose at his head.

Remus ducked quickly to avoid being hit.

"We like to live dangerously," James said.

Once the Marauders were all up, they began the walk to the owlery, where they would put their prank in action.

They didn't come across anyone until the owlery. As they filed into the building, Peter nearly ran into Hestia Jones.

"Oh, sorry," Peter apologized.

"It's fine," Hestia started, then saw the other three boys. "What are you four up to?"

"Er, nothing," Sirius said, hastily hiding the box he was holding behind his back.

"Nothing?" she said skeptically.

"Nothing," Sirius nodded.

"Alright." Hestia surveyed the group. "You're doing something. Whatever it is, don't involve me."

"Not our intention," Remus said.

"Alright." With that, she hurried out of the owlery.

"She'd better not tell anyone," James said.

"Everyone is going to suspect us either way."

"She'll ruin the surprise!"

"The prank is set to take place in twenty minutes. How much damage can she do?"

The answer was none.

Being Valentine's Day, it was reasonable to get mail.

What was unreasonable was when a parliament of owls swooped down upon the Slytherin table, dropping a large number of petal pink envelopes into the hands of students and on the table.

Hestia glanced at the Marauders.

James grinned at her.

Over at the Slytherin table, there were a few shouts as the envelopes exploded, raining glitter on the disgruntled students.

"It worked," Sirius said happily.

"We don't know that yet," Remus pointed out.

"Come on, Moony. Let me be happy."

Remus shrugged.

"Sirius, could you pass me the salt?" Peter asked.

"No," Sirius said.

"It's right next to you," James said.

"But I can't pass it until I'm happy," Sirius said.

"Tell him it worked," James said, turning to Remus.

Remus glanced over at the Slytherin table, watching as a mortified Evan Rosier stood and tried to brush the glitter off himself to no avail. "It worked."

"Brilliant. Now I'll gladly pass you the salt, Peter," Sirius said.

With the exception of the sparkling Slytherins, Hogwarts was undoubtedly in a good mood.

So naturally, in History of Magic, James was feeling pretty confident when he decided to ask out Lily.

"Lily Evans," James said, speaking loudly and clearly.

The whole class' heads snapped up.

Binns didn't notice and continued to drone on about Goblin Wars and the like.

"The answer is no, Potter," Lily groaned.

"I haven't even asked yet," James said.

Lily groaned again.

"Anyway, as I was going to say, Lily Evans, since some point in first year, I have loved you as Sirius has loved Minnie McGonagall. For those of you who don't remember, Sirius proposed to her at the end of last year. Point being, Evans, I love you with all of my heart-"

Sirius chose to interrupt and call, "What about me, Remus, and Peter?"

There were a few chuckles.

James continued after glaring at him. "-and I was wondering if you would go out with me?"

"If I had to choose between you and the Giant Squid, I would choose the bloody squid," Lily said coolly.

A number of people giggled good naturedly.

"You sure?"

"Positive."

James sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You can't blame me for trying. One day-"

"One day I'll find an excuse to hex you into oblivion," Lily said. "Now if you don't mind, some of us are trying to listen."

Sirius gave a cough that sounded suspiciously like "swot."

Lily gave him a look. "Sod off, Black."

Sirius quieted.

Then the lesson continued.

When it was time for dinner, the Slytherins were still decked in glitter.

"You can't say it didn't work now," Sirius told Remus.

Remus shrugged.

"We're not finished," James reminded Sirius.

"Oh yeah," Sirius said. "We were going to use those clarinets in the dormitory."

"Cassettes, not clarinets," Peter corrected.

"Yeah, 're listening to good music, not symphonies," James said.

Sirius glared at him.

"How are we going to listen to them?" Remus asked. "I thought technology didn't work at Hogwarts."

"Well, Peter and I figured out how to make them magic-resistant. Anyway, it's possible, that's how we did the movie for Muggle Awareness Day," James said.

"And we need to get you in the Valentines Day Spirit," Sirius said.

"I think it's hard to not be in the Valentines Day Spirit when there are sparkly Slytherins on the other end of the hall," Remus said.

"Good point," James agreed.


	28. Commentary and Quidditch

"I forgot to ask: Do we have Care of Magical Creatures homework?" Sirius asked.

"You mean the homework that was due today?" Remus said.

"It was due today?" Sirius said.

"Yeah. Eighteen inches."

"Does anyone have a spare piece of parchment?"

The other three shook their heads.

"Evans!" Sirius called down the table. "Do you have any blank parchment?"

Lily shook her head. "Not any that you're using."

Sirius swore. "Why couldn't you three have mentioned this before we came down here? Now I've got to head up to the tower again."

"You should have had the essay done last night," Remus pointed out.

Sirius groaned, grabbed a piece of toast, then left to find some parchment.

"Does he realize that we don't have that until after lunch?" James asked.

"Probably not," Remus said, "despite the fact that we've been been following this schedule since the beginning of the school year."

Sirius met up with the others as History of Magic started. "What was the essay about again?"

"It's about creatures that you would commonly find in Africa," Peter said.

"Right, got it. So I write about fwoopers and stuff," Sirius said. He pulled out his quill, ink, and parchment, then began scribbling down the essay, oblivious to Binns' droning.

The rest of the week passed in a similar fashion, with Sirius and James alternately not having their work done. There had been a definite increase in homework, and in all honesty, no one was enjoying it.

It lasted through the rest of February. Only when March was ushered in did the work subside. The Marauders weren't any less busy, however. They had to begin preparing for April Fools Day.

Along with this, James' Quidditch practices had resumed the moment the grass could be seen through the snow. He was out preparing for the upcoming match against Slytherin four days out of the week.

Rundown and tired, he returned to the Common Room the night before the match to find Sirius and Remus talking to Frank Longbottom, a fourth year.

"-for the game," Remus was saying.

"Right. Yeah, I've been hoping to find someone to sub for me for that, but I'll have to talk to McGonagall and get you cleared by her before you can do it," Frank replied, looking to Sirius.

"Minnie should let me," Sirius said, "as long as I don't have too many missing assignments. Or detention."

"Minnie?"

"Yeah, she and I have a special bond."

"More like you have a delusion," Remus snorted.

"Remus, I am offended!" Sirius said, pretending to look affronted. "Minnie and I have a relationship!"

Remus shook his head.

"Anyway," Frank said, "whether you and McGonagall are best mates or not isn't all that relevant. Unless she's positive you'll do well, she won't let you run the commentary."

"Commentary?" James asked. He came up behind the group.

"Yeah," Frank said. "I've got other obligations during the next game, so I'm not able to do commentary."

"So you want to commentate the match?" James said.

"Yeah," Sirius said.

"It's not a bad idea, Hogwarts'll need a new person to do commentary when I leave," Frank said.

"You've still got three years here after this one," James said.

Frank shrugged. "Never too early to be prepared."

"Well," Sirius said, "It was great to talk to you, but we've got to get some stuff done."

"Alright. I'll talk to McGonagall, let you know what she says."

"Brilliant. See you around."

Frank walked off, heading for the portrait hole.

"Wonder where he's going," James commented, watching him leave.

"Probably to talk to McGonagall, the match is tomorrow," Remus said.

"Right now it doesn't matter, Sirius said.

"Quidditch always matters," James protested.

"Of course it does, but where he's going doesn't matter. We have planning to do. James, you get Peter, he's probably fretting about exams already or something."

"Peter doesn't fret about exams, that's Remus," James said.

"I don't fret about exams, I prepare for them," Remus said. "They're only a few months away-"

"Not now, Remus," Sirius said. "They're in June and we don't need to have the mood dampened by thinking about them."

Remus sighed. "They're just exams-"

"And therefore have no importance," Sirius said knowingly. "James, get Peter."

James hurried off, returning quickly with Peter in tow.

"Now, Messrs, it's time for some plotting," Sirius grinned.

The next morning dawned brightly with a damp, chilly feel to it. There was excitement in the air as only a Quidditch match could bring.

At breakfast, Frank came up to the Marauders to tell Sirius that he had been given approval, and was to report to the topmost box twenty minutes before the match. Directly afterward, Frank wished James luck, then hurried off to do whatever his obligation was.

Slowly, the Great Hall's crowd began to disperse, starting first with the players.

"Good luck," Sirius said.

"You'll do brilliantly," Peter said.

Remus simply passed him a well-sized slab of chocolate.

"Do I get any-?" Sirius started.

"James is the one playing, not you," Remus said.

Sirius huffed, but didn't argue.

James left for the locker room, nibbling on the chocolate.

When he arrived, Andrew, Justin, and Hallie were already waiting, changed into their scarlet robes.

"Brilliant, you're here," Justin said. "Have you seen Mitchel and the others?"

"I think he's on his way," James said. "As for the others, I'm pretty sure Maria is just finishing with her breakfast, and Lucas…. Well, I'm not sure where he is, but I don't think he'd miss the game."

It took some time, but eventually the whole team was gathered, dressed, and had been given the pregame talk.

"We'll play clean today, alright?" Hallie looked around the group.

"And on that note, dear captain," Andrew said, "It's time for the match to start."

Hallie nodded. "Play hard," she reminded the team.

Meanwhile in the top box, Sirius was welcoming the crowd.

"Welcome to our fifth Quidditch match this season!" Sirius' voice boomed.

"Mr. Black, that is not how we number our games," McGonagall said, glancing at him.

Sirius shrugged. "I get the 'If it's not broken, don't bother fixing it,' but we honestly should, don't you think, Minnie?"

"The match, Mr. Black," McGonagall sighed.

"Right. Anyway, for Slytherin house, there's Nott, Rosier, Bulstrode, Cox, Lestrange, Highland, and Donningson. For Gryffindor house, we have Klosse, Potter, Liecht, Albatram, Finley, Rowsey, and Ominer!"

Down on the pitch, the teams had met.

James looked around the pitch briefly.

Roughly two thirds of the stadium was wearing red and gold and cheering wildly. The other third of the stadium was also cheering, though they donned green and silver.

"Shake hands, captains," Sirius said. "Klosse, break Lestrange's hand for me- No, Minnie, I'm just kidding! Even though I wouldn't mind if she did actually do it. Now that the captains have shaken hands, Lestrange's unfortunately unscathed, we'll begin the game by releasing the Quaffle…!"

The Quaffle went shooting up into the air. Following directly after it was the players.

James shot upwards, making a grab at the maroon ball. He wasn't quite fast enough; A dark haired, Slytherin fifth year had snatched the ball and was speeding towards Maria at the Gryffindor goalposts.

"Nott has stolen the Quaffle and is going for the Gryffindor goalposts, backed by Bulstrode and Highland. Highland with the Quaffle- no! Bludger expertly hit by Finley, straight to the back! Highland drops the Quaffle, right into Liecht's hands! Liecht with the Quaffle, now Klosse, back to Liecht, and to Potter! Potter is closing in on the goalposts, come on James!"

James threw the Quaffle diagonally, sending it soaring through the left hoop.

"Yes! Brilliant, mate, that's ten points to Gryffindor!" Sirius crowed. "Now we've got Slytherin with the Quaffle, Bulstrode to Highland, back to Bulstrode- Merlin, what was that?"

Cox, the blonde Slytherin Beater had attempted to send a bludger towards James.

James looped it easily.

The bludger missed, heading straight into the path of where the Slytherin Chasers we're heading. It rocketed into the outstretched hand of Nott, who had been reaching out to catch the Quaffle.

"Well, it looks like Cox hit a bludger into his own teammate. Not unexpected for someone who doesn't show up to practice and chooses to go off snogging Hufflepuffs instead."

Cox went bright red and began stuttering something unintelligible at Sirius, finally giving up and simply sending a rather rude gesture at the box.

"Yeah, I saw you and what's-her-name outside the Potions room. You might want to try behind Greenhouse Two, that's a good place. Anyway, Klosse grabs the Quaffle, throws it to Liecht, Liecht back to Klosse, Liecht, Potter, Klosse, Klosse throws- and it's blocked by Lestrange. I think he might have had a hand through the hoop, which would make that a penalty-"

"His hand was not through the hoop," McGonagall interrupted.

"Apparently it wasn't through the hoop, so Lestrange is off. Gryffindor is still in possession, Liecht with the Quaffle, he shoots- and it goes through! Twenty to nothing for Gryffindor! Slytherin now in possession with Nott down a hand and Bulstrode with the Quaffle. Passable bludger work by Rosier, who nicks Liecht's elbow. Liecht is fine, though, so Rosier hasn't done much damage- That bloody git!"

James had only seen it out of the corner of his eye. A bludger had gone whizzing towards him. He attempted to swerve out of its way.

There was a crack as the bludger collided with his shoulder.

James suppressed a yelp of pain, broom dropping in altitude by a few feet.

"Rosier, I'm going to hex you off that broom!" Sirius said angrily.

"Mr. Black-" McGonagall started.

"Oh. That wasn't a threat, Minnie, dear," Sirius assured her, though his hand was in the pocket where he kept his wand.

Back on the field, Hallie had signaled for a timeout.

"James, are you alright?" she asked.

"I'll be fine," James said, grimacing.

"You're not fine," Andrew said. "We need Madam Pomfrey over here…."

Madam Pomfrey was nowhere in sight.

"She'll be taking care of whoever's in the Hospital Wing," James said. "I can manage until the game is over-"

"You could head up there quickly and come back down when it's mended," Andrew suggested.

"Then we'll be short a Chaser, I've got to keep playing."

"That's one iron will that you've got," Hallie noted.

"We've at least got to _Ferula_ you," Justin said.

"You've got to what me?" James said.

"Here, I'll do it," Maria said. "I just need a wand.

"I think that we're short on those," James said.

"Oi! Do any of you have a wand we can borrow?" Hallie called to the crowd.

"Yeah, here!" someone said. There was a flurry of movement, and soon enough Maria was holding a dark ebony wand.

" _Ferula_ ," she said.

A set of stiff bandages wound themselves around James' arm and shoulder.

"There, that's _Ferula,_ " Maria said.

"Brilliant, thanks," James said. He still looked uncomfortable and pained, but less so than he had when he was up in the air.

"Andrew, we're counting on you to catch the snitch _as soon as possible_ ," Hallie said, stressing the last part.

"I'm doing my best," Andrew said.

"You lot finished yet?" one of the Slytherin players shouted from across the pitch.

The Gryffindor team clambered back onto their brooms, and the match continued.

It took about five minutes for James to get used to playing with only his left arm. With him discombobulated, Slytherin had the advantage, regardless of any injuries their team had gotten.

"And the Slytherins are up by twenty points," Sirius told the crowd unhappily. "Let's all note that this is due to three reasons: The first is Rosier's luck with that bat- luck, not talent- and the next is because Ominer can't get anywhere near the snitch without having Donningson was tail him with his top-of-the-notch broomstick. The last is because James Potter of Gryffindor is having some problems with his shoulder. Speaking of James, who'll probably have to spend some time in the Hospital Wing, I'm sure he'd be happy if one Lily Evans would find time in her schedule to visit him-" He ducked as a jinx was sent his way.

"The match, Mr. Black, " McGonagall reminded him, then turned towards the direction the jinx had come from and said loudly above the din, "Detention for that, Ms. Evans!"

"Alright. So, we've got the Quaffle with Klosse, to Liecht, to Klosse… back to Liecht, now to Potter, he tries to throw to Klosse, but it's short by only a few feet. The Quaffle is falling-! Klosse has the Quaffle, she's heading for the hoops, she's going to score- yes! Brilliant throw by Klosse, Gryffindor's now only down by ten. Slytherin in possession, Bulstrode to Nott to Bulstrode to Highland- nevermind, Gryffindor is still behind by twenty. Gryffindor Back in possession, Liecht narrowly dodges a bludger, Potter has the Quaffle."

James was figuring out how to play Quidditch one handed. He forcefully threw the Quaffle to Hallie, who caught it readily.

Hallie gained a few yards, then passed it back to him.

James sped forward, clinging both to the ball and his broom. He turned and passed the ball to Lucas.

Lucas continued the surge forward, almost making a goal.

"Blocked by Lestrange, now it's Slytherin in possession, Nott to Bulstrode, Bulstrode to Highland- no, another well-aimed bludger from Finley! See, Cox, if you have dedication to your team, that's what you can do. I'm not complaining about your bad aim-"

"Keep the criticizing to the minimum, please," McGonagall said.

"Right. Anyway, brilliant move by Finley, leaving Gryffindor in possession of the Quaffle. Klosse to- wait! Ominer and Donningson are neck and neck, they've seen the snitch-!"

The crowd's attention turned instantly to the far end of the pitch, where the two Seekers were almost on top of each other.

Andrew stretched out his hand, his fingers were about to close around the golden ball-

Donningson shoved his arm out of the way and snatched the ball for himself.

James groaned on the pitch in harmony with the rest of the Gryffindor supporters. Sirius swore loudly, though he was barely heard above the crowd.

The Slytherin supporters erupted in cheers.

"And I guess Slytherin wins," Sirius said, definitely sounding much more downcast. "Two hundred and thirty Slytherin, sixty Gryffindor."


	29. Hogwarts Marco Polo

Regardless of the outcome of the match, Hogwarts was undoubtedly in a good mood. The weather had begun to warm, and classes suddenly seemed more enjoyable.

"You know what?" James said one morning, looking out across the grounds from the dormitory window.

"What?" Sirius said.

"We've never had a prank outside," James said.

Peter shrugged. "Well, there was the time when-"

"That time didn't count," James said. "We've never done a _proper_ prank outside."

"You have an idea?" Remus said, glancing up from his partially done essay.

"Yeah," James nodded.

"What is it?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"I'll reveal it at breakfast," James announced. "Come on, we've got to get down there before classes start, we have twenty minutes."

"Just let me finish this section here," Remus said.

"That one isn't due until next week, you've got time," Sirius said.

"Yeah, he's right, let's go," James said.

A few minutes later they were in the Great Hall. Sirius helped himself to some eggs as he waited for James to explain his plan.

"So you guys know that game Marco Polo?" James said.

"No," Remus said, though he was grinning.

"You don't know Marco Polo?" Peter said.

"No, I know Marco Polo, but James, that's absolutely insane. There's no way-"

"He's not finished," Sirius said. "Let him explain."

"Anyway, what if we did a magical version of that in the lake?" James finished excitedly.

"Yes!" Sirius agreed. "I'm in!"

"You're forgetting that the lake is freezing," Remus said. "You'd give everyone hypothermia."

"Warming charms," James said.

"And drying charms," Sirius added.

"Those one-piece thermal swimsuit things," Peter offered.

"Where are we going to get a bunch of those from?" James said.

"Let's stick with the warming and drying charms," Sirius decided.

"We've got it all planned out," James said.

"Alright," Remus said. "I'm in."

They spent History of Magic working out the details.

"We can use a spell like we did for Operation Moving Staircase last year," Remus said. "If we put it on a few feet of flooring on the way into the Great Hall, everyone would be caught and forced to play."

"And we can do shield charms around the lake so that no one can get out until the game ends," Sirius suggested.

"What about the people who can't swim?" Peter asked. "Shouldn't they have a way to get out?"

"We'll put rafts in the lake, they can float around on those," Sirius said.

"There's a floating charm that we could look up," Remus said.

"Brilliant, Remus, you're in charge of that. How long is the game going to last?"

"An hour," James said. "That's reasonable, right?"

"And it'll get us out of History of Magic," Sirius nodded.

"We should do it on a weekend-" Remus began.

"No, we're doing it on a normal day," Sirius said determinedly.

"Actually-"

"No arguing, Moony. We can spare History of Magic."

They spent between classes discussing the plan. By dinner, a number of people had noticed that the Marauders were plotting something, and the formerly carefree atmosphere became somewhat speculative, though it retained most of its cheerfulness.

After dinner had finished, Remus made his way to the library to look for a floating charm, as well as a few other enchantments that would prove useful for the prank.

The others headed to the dorm and got a start on the homework they had been assigned, without much success.

"Why twelve inches?" Sirius moaned.

"I don't know, but it's better than two rolls, I don't know what Flitwick was thinking…" James said.

"On engorgement charms? That'll be easy," Sirius said. "Just write really big and say it was the effect of the charm."

"Good idea, don't let me forget that."

"Alright."

There was a lull in conversation until James said, "You know what? This is impossible to do without food. I'm going to the kitchens."

"Me too," Sirius volunteered.

"And me," Peter said quickly.

"Brilliant. Let's go," James said.

They slipped out of the dormitory leaving the essays abandoned.

Twenty minutes later they returned, arms laden with bakery and other goods.

"The biscuits are mine, don't even think about eating them," Sirius said.

"Wasn't planning on it," James assured him.

"So back to that essay. What was the incantation for an engorgement charm?" Sirius asked.

"You know what this food would be good for?" James said wisely, "A game of Wizards Chess."

"Peter, grab the board, James is right," Sirius instructed, but Peter was already on it.

"Oi, Sirius," James said. "Bet I can beat you in a game."

Sirius grinned. "You're on."

When Remus returned later with a stack of books under his arm, he found Sirius with hair turned bubblegum pink, James with green eyebrows, and Peter, who was holding both of the boys wands. Sirius and James were both glaring at each other as James instructed one of his pieces to move.

"It got intense," Peter explained.

Remus simply nodded.

Needless to say, it was not a productive night.

They made up for their loss of work in full the next morning. Breakfast and History of Magic were spent writing rushed papers, including one about engorgement charms.

Flitwick gave the boys an odd look when Sirius turned in his hundred word essay with letters each the size of a small apple, but said nothing.

When classes had let out, the Marauders gathered in the Common Room.

"These are the instructions for a floating charm," Remus said, showing James, Sirius, and Peter a book he had taken out of the library. "And here's the instructions for a drying charm. We'll have to be careful with that one, though. If we do it wrong we could end up drying out the lake."

"Let's not kill the Giant Squid," Sirius said appreciatively.

"I don't know," James mused. "Evans said she'd rather go out with it. Maybe if _it_ was gone, then she'd consider-"

"She's a lost cause, mate. She didn't even check in on you when you were in the Hospital Wing," Sirius said.

"She loves me," James said surely.

"Well, point being, we aren't killing the Squid," Remus said. "I didn't find a shield charm of the scale we need, but I think we could hypothetically ask Minnie. If she doesn't know anything, I can go to Flitwick and talk with him."

"Brilliant," Sirius said. "James and Peter can start figuring out how the drying charm will work. I'll come with you to see Minnie." With that, he stood and made for the portrait hole.

"He's excited," James noted.

"He just wants to grab some more biscuits and see Minnie," Remus said. "Here, hold onto these until we get back." After passing the books to Peter, he followed.

"Alright, Peter," James said. "Let's figure this out."

Thursday morning looked as though it would start like any other day. At least, that's what the students of Hogwarts thought.

They were sorely mistaken.

James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius were among the first to attempt and enter the Great Hall. Hiding smirks, they stepped onto the trick stone tiles.

Suddenly they were falling; There was blue sky above them, and a wet, cold lake below them.

The Marauders had known that they would end up in the lake. This did nothing, however, to relieve them of the shock of the freezing water.

They fell into the lake with a splash, submerging for only a moment before the floating charms took effect.

"Move, they'll be right on top of us," Sirius said, beginning to swim as far from the center of the lake as he could. "Though I wouldn't complain to James being flattened by another Hufflepuff."

"Hey," James protested as he followed. "That wasn't funny!"

More students began to fall from the sky, shrieking as they fell. Most of the shouts were unintelligible, though there were a few direct phrases.

"My books!" one girl mourned as her book bag was soaked.

"Bloody sodding idiots!" a Ravenclaw yelped.

"I can't swim!" a sixth year screeched.

Soon enough there was about half of the school treading water in the lake, soaked and thoroughly disgruntled. Included in this group was Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Slughorn, all of whom looked unhappy, with the exception of Dumbledore.

This was when the message was set to appear, framed against the clouds:

 _Welcome to the first ever game of Hogwarts Marco Polo, presented to you by the Marauders._

There was a chorus of shouts, which quickly quieted as the second message appeared.

 _Hogwarts Marco Polo is the same as the original pool game, only this one takes place in the lake here instead of a pool. For those of you who don't know how to play Marco Polo, it's simple. One person is selected as 'Marco,' who heads to the center of the lake and closes their eyes. They will shout, 'Marco,' (hence the title) and wait for the 'Polo's to respond. That's everyone who isn't 'Marco.' The 'Polo's will respond with the term, 'Polo.' (Again, hence, the name.)_

A number of the students exchanged glances.

' _Marco' will be one Minnie McGonagall. 'Marco,' please make your way to the center of the lake._

McGonagall did not look happy at this development.

"Go on, Minerva," Dumbledore encouraged.

McGonagall sighed.

"It'll be fun, Minnie!" Sirius called from across the water.

To much surprise, she swam to the center of the lake.

The Marauders grinned at each other.

"If that's not a relationship, I don't know what is," Sirius said proudly.

"Well, one thing's for sure, it's not as much of a delusion as we thought it was," James reasoned.

 _Hogwarts Marco Polo will begin…_

The people around McGonagall began swimming away from him as quickly as they were able.

… _Now._

"Marco!" McGonagall said.

"Polo!" a few people responded.

"Marco!" McGonagall said.

The cry of "Polo!" was much louder this time.

McGonagall began swimming in the direction of the castle.

A group of Slytherins scrambled to get out of her way.

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

McGonagall surged forward, scattering a cluster of Hufflepuffs. "Marco!"

"Polo!"

This time when McGonagall reached out, she managed to tag a nervous first year.

After a bit of urging, the first year made his way to the center.

"Marco?" he said timidly.

"Polo!" everyone replied.

It took a good five minutes before the first year tagged a Ravenclaw. After the Ravenclaw, there were two older Gryffindors, then none other than Dumbledore himself.

This excited everyone immensely. They all muttered among themselves in anticipation as Dumbledore closed his eyes and called, "Marco!"

"Polo!"

Dumbledore began to breaststroke towards a group of students, who immediately hurried away.

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

Dumbledore lightly tapped a second year. "You're up now, Jeanne."

The girl nodded, and the game continued.

When the hour had finally passed, there had been a total of thirteen 'Marco's. Susan Adams had just finished her turn when another message was written in the sky.

 _Thank you for participating in Hogwarts Marco Polo. You are free to return to classes at this time._

A few people began swimming towards the shore, but Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye, "I don't think one more round would hurt."

When the boys returned to classes, they were given a number of glances, though no one spoke until McGonagall told them that they would have a detention that night.

At dinner, Dumbledore addressed what had happened.

"This morning, anyone who tried to enter the Great Hall was transported to the Black Lake for a game of Hogwarts Marco Polo. It disrupted classes for an hour of so, but," he said, "It did involve some of the better wand work I've seen in some time. Not to mention that the game itself was quite enjoyable. For this, I'd like to award the Marauders fifteen points."

Sirius grinned. "Good old Dumbledore. Actually, I think he needs a nickname."

"No, he doesn't," Remus said with a matching grin. "He shouldn't have given us those points, either."

"Don't complain," James said. "We need to get ahead, Ravenclaw is in first."

"However," Dumbledore said, "I would like to put out a reminder that swimming in the lake is against school rules. Now please, enjoy your dinner."

The clatter of forks and knives filled the hall, and Sirius set about the test of giving Dumbledore a nickname.

"There's Dumbles, or Dumbly. Or Dumbledolphin, he's actually a good swimmer," Sirius said. "Or Al. What do you guys think?"

"Dumbles," James said.

"Alright. Dumbles it is," Sirius decided.


	30. A Matter Needing Resolving

After the game of Hogwarts Marco Polo, people were much more tentative about entering the Great Hall.

"They're so jumpy," James noted, watching as a crowd gathered before the empty room.

"It's not like they'll fall into the lake," Sirius said. "The spell should have been removed- wait, never mind."

A student vanished as they stepped onto the trick tile.

"What do you three say to the kitchens?" James asked cheerfully.

Five minutes later they were descending one of the main staircases, headed for the lower levels. It was relatively empty, except for a group of Slytherins- Snape, Rosier, Crouch, and Regulus, to be exact.

As the Marauders made to passively pass the other group, the Slytherins grew quiet.

Sirius tried to catch Regulus' eye.

Regulus looked away quickly.

Sirius' face hardened as he continued walking.

"Looks like your dear brother isn't happy," Snape murmured almost gleefully.

"I guess not," Regulus muttered hesitantly.

"Well, you haven't got to worry about that," Rosier said, not bothering to keep his voice down. "You're hanging with the right crowd."

"Yeah," Crouch agreed. He gave Snape a glance.

Snape nodded. "Arrogant pricks and liars, the lot of them. Stay away from them and you'll be fine."

"I- I guess so," Regulus said quietly.

Sirius quickened his pace, hurrying down the stairs and turning the corner.

"Mate, you alright?" James asked as he and the others caught up.

"Fine," Sirius said shortly.

"Sirius-"

"It's fine," Sirius said. "I'm fine."

James, Remus, and Peter gave him disbelieving looks.

"We were going to the kitchens, right?" Sirius said with forced cheerfulness. "Let's go."

That was the end of it. For then, at least.

"We'll have some eggs, toast, bacon," James listed to the house elves.

"And something sweet," Peter added.

"Yeah."

The house elves nodded and scurried off.

"And a plate of biscuits!" Sirius called after them.

"I don't think that biscuits are a breakfast food," Remus said.

"Let him eat them," James said. "You carry chocolate to all of the morning Quidditch games, I know you eat some."

Remus didn't argue.

"Well," James started, "What are we-"

The door to the kitchen opened.

"-can eat in here, it'll be faster and safer than the hall," Lily was saying.

"Alright," Hestia said, accompanying her. She was followed by Marlene and Alice.

"Looks like we aren't the only ones who know about this place," Alice said.

Lily looked at the boys and sighed. "Of course you four would be here."

"Like you said," James said, "The malfunction in the hall might make it hard to eat."

"I'm sure you could get around that if you tried," Lily said.

"Probably, but it's early in the morning and we don't feel like figuring out what went wrong at the moment," Sirius said. "The problem this morning was completely unintentional."

The house elves chose this moment to return with the food. Upon seeing there were more people, they hurried off again, bringing back more food promptly.

Neither group really seemed in the mood to talk with the other, so they kept mostly to themselves.

After they had finished, they quietly made their way to History of Magic.

Sirius, who usually attempted to orchestrate a plot of sorts, sat stiffly and silently. This mood continued throughout the day until Potions had ended, when he decided to take his frustrations out on an unsuspecting Severus Snape.

Snape was walking at the back of the clump of third year Slytherins. He smirked as Rosier said something.

Sirius pulled his wand from his pocket and flicked it angrily in Snape's direction.

Snape flew forward, slamming into Rosier and another kid. He picked himself up and whirled around to see Sirius' wand out. "Black!"

Before he could say anything else, Sirius sent another hex at him.

Boils erupted on Snape's face. By the way he winced as he fumbled for his wand, they had appeared in other places as well. Regardless of his discomfort, he sent a curse at Sirius in retaliation.

It struck Sirius in the arm, which suddenly swelled to an enormous size. Sirius raised his wand again-

"Boys!" someone said sharply. It was McGonagall. "I came here to find Professor Slughorn, not dueling!"

"Sorry, Minnie," Sirius said grimly. "We just had a matter that needed resolving-"

"What matter?" Snape said venomously. "I was just on my way to class! This is the second time you've hexed me without a reason-"

"My brother is the matter," Sirius said. "And I hexed you the first time because you were going after my mates and nosing where you weren't supposed to."

"I haven't done a thing to your brother, or gone against your friends," Snape said blankly.

"You did go against James, Remus, and Peter the other day, don't deny it. That's not the reason I'm after you right now, though. You're turning Regulus against me, I heard you earlier. He won't talk to me-"

"He's not talking to you because of you," Snape spat. "First you got sorted into Gryffindor, of all places, then you hexed us without provocation-"

"It wasn't without provocation, you bloody son of a-"

"Language, Mr. Black," McGonagall said. "The two of you, my office. Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew, I can see you over there. Head to class."

James, Remus, and Peter complied. As they left the corridor, they could hear the argument heating up.

"He's my brother!"

"He's better than you!"

"I know that, and I'm trying to help him!"

"How? By hexing everyone?"

"By keeping him from hanging with the wrong crowd and turning into my parents!"

"Someone needs to turn into your parents, considering you're such a-"

" _You don't know my parents!_ You don't know what they do to people! You don't understand what they're like!"

There was a low, taunting response, followed by a flash of purple light.

"I'm going back there," James decided.

"No, you can't," Remus said, dragging him away from the corridor. "I know you want to help, but you'll just get in trouble too, and that won't do Sirius any favors."

"Snivellus is being a-"

"I know what he's being, but you can't just charge in and go after him, you saw what happened to Sirius."

James opened his mouth to argue.

"Remus has a point," Peter said.

"Alright, fine," James said. "I won't go after him right now. It's not over, though."

Remus and Peter exchanged a look.

"Two nights of detention," Sirius said. He had returned from his talk with McGonagall unhappily, joining the others in the Common Room.

"That's not too bad," James said. "Actually, that's good, it'll work with the plan I had."

"What plan?" Sirius asked.

"The plan of revenge," James said simply.

Remus sighed. "James, you can't just go after-"

"Brilliant," Sirius said. "What were you thinking?"

"You know that corridor on the seventh floor? We could corner him there during dinner-"

"Don't even think about it," Lily interrupted angrily from behind them.

"What's your problem, Evans?" Sirius snapped.

"My problem, Black, is that you've hexed my friend and you're planning to do it again," Lily said.

"You know why I hexed him?" Sirius said. "Because he's screwing with my brother, and I can't have that."

"I thought you hated your family," Lily said. "Why do you care so much now? Just another excuse to go at him?"

"I hate my parents and most of my cousins. Regulus is one of the few people in my family I can stand to be around. He's a good person, unlike my parents, and I'm trying to keep it that way. Snivellus is feeding him lies to drive him away from me. Due to the fact that our one decent cousin was disowned and we never see our one decent Uncle, I'm all that's between Regulus becoming another blood purist. It's very hard to do that, though, when someone is purposely trying to get in the way of that, so excuse me if I have to give your friend his comeuppance," Sirius said frustratedly.

"Sev wouldn't do that, not purposely," Lily said.

"He already did," Sirius said, glaring at her. "Now if you'd leave us alone, that would be great."

Lily huffed. "That doesn't mean that you should hex him, even if he is coming between you and your brother."

"He said sod off, Evans," James said. "As much as I love your company, Sirius doesn't need you nagging him."

Lily shot him a look, before leaving. "Save it, Potter."

"She's pretty when she's angry," James noted, watching her retreating back. "Have you three noticed?"

"I don't think that we need to notice," Sirius said.

"Back to how we _aren't_ going to be going after Snape and are going to study for the exams instead," Remus said.

"Right," James said, still staring after Lily. He blinked and looked over at Remus. "Wait, what did I agree to?"

"Now you've done it, James," Sirius said with a groan.

"What have I done?" James said.

"You've agreed to study for exams instead of hexing Snape," Remus said brightly.

"No! I'm not studying! It's March!" James protested.

"We've covered a lot since September, we should review what we've gone over, and we need to go through all of History of Magic considering the fact that you haven't paid any attention to that," Remus said.

"It's not my fault Binns is the most boring person here," James said. "If he would do something besides droning and do a recreation or something-"

"Good idea," Sirius said.

"-then we would actually learn something. And did I mention the fact that it's March?"

"Yes, you did, but like I said before, we've covered a lot since September," Remus said.

"Excellent point," Sirius said, "but what if we made a deal- James studies with you for twice the amount of time tomorrow. Then Sunday, James can help me get Snivellus."

"No," James said immediately. "No prank is worth two hours of studying."

"Then I guess you won't be hexing anyone," Remus said.

Sirius sighed. "Work with me, Moony. He deserves it."

"James deserves the studying, or Snape deserves the hexing?"

"Just Snivellus. Actually, James could… no, no matter how annoying James' talk about Evans is, he doesn't deserve two hours of studying. But Snape deserves it."

"I'm not saying Snape doesn't, going at you and Regulus like that, but hexing him will only make it worse."

"How can it get any worse?"

"I'm sure if you got Regulus alone, he'd talk," Remus said. "He's probably just being pressured. If you go off hexing Snape, it'll feed into the image of you that they're pressuring him with, and that would only help them."

Sirius was quiet for a moment as he thought. "Alright. Alright, you have a point. I won't hex Snivellus. But don't expect me to go all goody-two-shoes on you and start studying."

"You sure you don't want to study? James will be there."

"Positive."

It took willpower for Sirius to pass Snape in the corridors without doing anything but glowering. Snape would smirk back at him, aggravating him further.

In an attempt to distract Sirius, James had begun constantly quizzing Sirius on the plan for April Fools Day. It got to the point where Sirius had to tell him that if they kept discussing it in public it would no longer be a surprise.

After that, things settled back to normal, only with a more profound dislike of Snape among the Marauders.

"You know what?" James said, rising from his bed. "We haven't gone poking around the castle since first year."

"Trips to the kitchens," Peter pointed out.

"That doesn't count," Sirius said.

"I think it's about time we fix that. Who's in?" James asked.

"It's after curfew," Remus said.

"Then it'll be even more fun," Sirius said resolutely, "Come on, Remus. You too, Peter. James, grab your cloak, we've got stuff to do."

"We stopped sneaking around the castle so much because Peeves started tailing us and trying to get us in trouble," Remus said. "Who's to say he won't do it again?"

"Me, and anyway, you don't complain about our pranks that need to be set up in advance," Sirius said.

"That's because we don't have another time to set them up," Remus said.

"We could just not do them in the first place," James said.

"Where'd you get an idea like that?" Sirius demanded, scandalized. "Remus, you're putting ideas in his head!"

"It's about time I'm not the only one with common sense," Remus said.

"You don't think I have common sense? I am wounded! _Wounded_!"

Remus sighed and stood with a grin. "Well, that's too bad. I guess you won't be sneaking around with the rest of us-"

"Knew you'd come!" James crowed, holding up the cloak. "Let's go!"


	31. The Room of Requirement

Hidden under the invisibility cloak, the Marauders slipped out of Gryffindor Tower and into the empty corridor.

"Which way?" Peter whispered.

"Right," Sirius whispered back.

The boys turned right and began to creep along the dark hallway.

"In first year we looked around at the bottom floors, right?" James said.

"Yeah," Sirius said.

"Let's head to the top floors and go from the top down. That way we aren't in the same spot."

"You realize that this is the top floor?"

"Oh yeah. Then let's just wander around."

That was exactly what they did. They went down the main corridor, hurried past an office, and passed the pale, red headed portrait of Temeritus Shanks before stopping in front of a large tapestry.

"There's nothing up here," James said.

"Well, there's this thing here," Sirius said, pointing to the tapestry. "Are those trolls attempting to do ballet?"

"Yeah," Remus said, watching the lumbering figures donned in pink tutus.

"Who would try that?"

"Barnabas the Barmy was famous for attempting that. It ended in a few casualties and a ruined amphitheater," Remus said.

"We don't need a history lesson," James grumbled.

"Actually-"

There was a soft grinding noise from the bare wall behind them. The Marauders turned.

"Brilliant," James said.

"Hey, it's Minnie's kitchen," Sirius said. "And her secondary office."

Where there had once been nothing but stone wall, there was a rounded spruce door.

James pulled the cloak off, rushed to the door, and pulled it open.

Sirius and Peter came after.

As Remus made to follow, the door shut.

"What the-?"

The door dissolved, leaving nothing but wall.

Remus ran his hand over the wall in curiously, feeling for the remains of the door. He found nothing. "Oh no."

It was the middle of the night, the invisibility cloak was with James, Sirius, and Peter, and James, Sirius, and Peter were trapped in a wall. That left Remus alone, exposed, breaking curfew, and probably in the position where he had to help his friends out of something dangerous. Great.

On the other side of the wall, James, Sirius, and Peter were taking in the room they had found.

Plush couches sat before a crackling fire on the wall closest to them. There were three beds in one of the farmost corners, and a small table with a few chairs rested in the opposite corner.

"Brilliant," James said.

"It's like a house!" Sirius said. "A really, really small house. Without a kitchen."

"Of course you'd notice that. Peter, Remus, what do you think?"

"It doesn't have a kitchen," Peter said, "but it's cozy."

Remus didn't have a reply.

"Remus, what about…?" James turned to find the door closed and Remus gone. "Remus?"

"Where'd he go?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know…." He looked around the room.

"Maybe he's still outside," Peter offered.

Sirius opened the door to reveal a very confused Remus examining the wall.

Remus jumped back as the door materialized again, Sirius now peering out of it.

"There you are! Why didn't you come in, it's brilliant!" he said.

"I couldn't come in," Remus said. "The door vanished when I tried to walk through."

"Really?" James said. "Mate, out of the way, I want to see this door." He pushed Sirius and Peter out of his way and into the narrow corridor, then stepped out himself and began to attempt and examine the door.

The door shut and sank back into the wall.

James gave the wall a befuddled look. "Wonder what the deal is with that-"

There was a sound from the next corridor over.

"Little Peevesy, out for a stroll. Going to cause some mischief, for that's the goal," a voice sang, sounding quite off key.

"What sort of song is that?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know, get under the cloak," James said, holding it up.

The Marauders disappeared.

"We just have to hope he doesn't come this way," said Remus as the singing got louder, "The corridor's too small for him to pass us unless-"

"Barrikade the cleaning closets, shut all the doors. Cause chaos on all seven floors!" Peeves hummed, gliding into the corridor.

"What kind of a song is that?" said Sirius. "Those are terrible lyrics-"

"Who's there?" Peeves asked. "Who's criticizing my song? Are there unappreciative students out of bed?" He sank lower to the floor and began to make his way down the corridor.

The Marauders exchanged glances. There was no way that they would make it out of the corridor before Peeves caught up with them. That meant their only option was-

"The door!" James said, looking back to the wall. "It's back, come on!"

The Marauders hurried through the spruce door, slamming it behind them.

"Woah," Sirius said. "Look, it's not the same room!"

It was true; rather than comfy couches and beds, the room was now a long stone tunnel, lined with lit torches.

"What did it look like before?" Remus said.

"It was really big with this fireplace, and couches, and some beds," Sirius said.

"I think I know where we are…. This is the Room of Requirement!"

"The Room of what?"

"The Room of Requirement. It was in Hogwarts, A History. A lot of people think that it's a myth, like the supposed Chamber of Secrets-"

"The what?" Peter asked.

"The Chamber of Secrets was a secret room that the founder Salazar Slytherin supposedly left behind when he left the school. The Room of Requirement is supposed to be similar, only it was rumored to have been made by Helga Hufflepuff. It's unplottable, though, so not a lot of people have been able to find it."

"Okay, but _what_ is the Room of Requirement?" James interrupted.

"If you ask for something and have real need of it, the Room will give it to you," Remus explained. "So when we needed to get away from Peeves, it gave us this passageway, it looks like. And with that time McGonagall had us meet here, that's how she had the office appear."

"That's why you couldn't get in!" James realized. "I needed to get away from your upcoming history lecture!"

"Well," Remus said, "I guess now that I'm in here, you can't escape it."

"Yes, I can," James said. He pulled off the cloak and took off at a sprint down the tunnel. "You can't lecture me unless you can catch me!"

"Or I can just shout!" Remus called after him.

"Bet I can catch up to James and hold him down for you," Sirius said.

"I'll help," Peter offered.

James was fortunate enough to escape the lecture, despite running out of breath. From that point, he walked.

"So where does this lead?" Sirius asked. He, Peter, and Remus had caught up.

"I don't know. Remus, when I ask this, by no means do I want you to give us a lecture: Do you know anything about where this might go?"

"No," Remus said thoughtfully. "I haven't heard about it. It's probably another function of the room."

They walked quietly for another few minutes before they reached a door.

James turned the brass handle and opened the door.

"Brilliant," he breathed.

The door had opened into their dormitory, a few feet to the left of the door down to the Common Room.

"How's this even possible?" Peter wondered.

"No idea, but it's brilliant," Sirius said.

They filed out of the passage and into the dormitory.

With a snap, the door shut behind them and dissolved into the wall.

Sirius turned and swore. "You've got to be kidding me! I was going to go back!" He began pounding on the wall. "Oi! Open up!"

"I think that it's closed," Remus said.

"Yeah, but we need it to open again," Sirius said.

"I think you'll just have to go back to the entrance," Remus said.

"That's impractical," James said.

"That's how the Room of Requirement works."

"Oh well. But who cares how it works? It's brilliant! We can use it for our ranking to sneak around the castle!" said Sirius excitedly.

"If we have to," James shrugged. "But we should stick with the old fashioned invisibility cloak."

"It could take our pranking capability to a new level!"

"True… but we're old fashioned. Only for pranking emergencies."

"What else can the Room of Requirement do?" Peter asked.

"I don't know," Remus shrugged. "Not a lot of people have found it, and if so, not all of them realize that it's the Room of Requirement."

"We should go poke around it some more," Sirius said.

"Not now, we have class tomorrow and we've been up more than half the night."

"I'll second that," Peter said.

"Alright, fine," Sirius said. "But we're going in again after class tomorrow."

So far, the Marauders had discovered sixteen uses for the Room of Requirement:

1\. An escape from history lectures

2\. A passageway back to the dormitory

3\. A bedroom

4\. A swimming pool

5\. A ball pit

6\. A library

7\. A passageway to McGonagall's office

8\. An excellent place to store random things

9\. A sauna

10\. A kitchen

11\. An office

12\. A huge trampoline

13\. An odd, indoor treehouse

14\. An odd, indoor forest

15\. A portrait gallery

16\. A dodgeball court

Needless to say, it was exciting.

"I can't believe that Minnie didn't mention the fact that this room can be literally anything," said Sirius. He was tossing a red ball up in the air and catching it as he spoke. "Imagine how much trouble we could have gotten into last year!"

"I think that was exactly why she didn't tell us," said Remus.

"Or because she doesn't actually love you," James added.

"She does too!" Sirius protested. "Why else would she have let us off easy and had us make her biscuits for a detention. More recently, why else would she have agreed to have been 'Marco' in Hogwarts Marco Polo?"

"Because she hated Umbridge, and Dumbledore probably offered her a pay raise in the lake," James said.

"He did not!"

"Of course he did!"

"He didn't," Peter said flatly.

James threw a ball good-naturedly at Peter, who ducked. The ball hit Sirius instead. James swore.

"Did you just throw a ball at me?" Sirius said.

"Well, I meant to hit Peter-"

"James Fleamont Potter! How dare you throw things at Peter!" Sirius picked up a brightly colored ball and threw it at James.

"Hey!"

Soon enough, the four were engaged in a game of dodgeball.

"Ha, take that!" James crowed as he hit Sirius yet again.

"Remus, Peter, you two and me, everyone Against James!" Sirius said.

Grinning, Remus and Peter complied and James found himself being pelted by dodgeballs.

"You can't team up!" James whined.

"Of course we can," Sirius said. "It's your fault you decided to-" A ball hit him from behind.

James had not been the one to throw it.

Remus had.

"Moony, you traitor!"

Remus ducked to avoid a ball that Sirius had thrown at him.

"We were supposed to be a team!"

Remus sprinted out of the way of another ball, throwing his own at James, hitting his target.

"Ouch!"

He next threw one at Peter, who managed to move out of the way.

"Everyone against Remus!" Sirius shouted, and Remus found himself stuck in a cascade of balls.

The dodgeball game lasted for another half hour before they boys sat down, laughing and bantering.

"I love this room," James decided. "You know what? We should have a prank take place in here."

"And reveal our new discovery? I don't think so," Sirius said. "It's a Marauder secret."

"Could we take things from the room out of the room?" James asked.

"I'm not sure," Remus said.

"Let's test it," Sirius said. He plucked a ball from the ground and made for the door. The door opened silently, and Sirius stepped outside. "It works!"

"Alright, brilliant. I have an idea," James said.

"Are you going to try and do a game of 'Hogwarts Dodgeball?'" Remus asked.

"Yeah," James said.

Remus shook his head. "That'll end well."

"So you're in?"

"Probably."

"Sirius, get over here. We have some planning to do."

There was no reply.

"I don't think we're planning now."

"Why not?"

"Because it's about time for dinner, which is probably why Sirius left without us."

"We can't miss diner," Peter said resolutely.


	32. A Day to be Feared Above All Others

At long last, March came to an end.

The morning of April first, the Marauders were in a very good mood. They rose early with mischievous grins, ready to put their plan in action.

"Do you know what today is, Messrs?" Sirius said dramatically, opening the dormitory curtains.

"We do indeed," James grinned.

"The day the Hogwarts will fear above all others."

"The day that will make Hogwarts quake in terror."

"It's April Fools Day," Remus said. "Why does it need to be dramatized?"

"Come on, Moony, don't spoil our fun," Sirius said.

"And it has to be dramaticized because it's April Fools Day," James said.

"And speaking of April Fools Day," Sirius said, "We have a Great Hall to redecorate."

"We're doing the other rooms, too. Right?" Peter checked.

"That's why we're up at one in the morning," James said solemnly.

"Yeah, and we'll only get part of that time if we don't hurry," Sirius said. "Everyone get ready, we've got a job to do."

Almost no one in Gryffindor house gave any thought to the fact that it was April first, and therefore April Fools Day. Those who did simply sighed and were not the least bit surprised when they found the furniture in the Gryffindor Common Room Stuck to the ceiling.

Whether the occupants of Hogwarts had realized it was April Fools Day or not was completely irrelevant to their shock when they saw the Great Hall.

The Marauders surveyed their handy work with grins.

"It'll be hard to beat this," Remus noted, almost smugly.

Like in the Gryffindor Common Room, the furniture was upside down. The large wooden tables rested on the cloudy ceiling, food appearing miraculously as it would if it were rightside up. The flickering candles floated just above the floor, making it impossible for anyone to enter the room without setting the hem of their robes on fire.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "It might be difficult."

"Well," James said, "I don't think we're getting breakfast here. Kitchens, anyone?"

The Marauders discreetly slipped out of the crowd, making their way to the kitchens.

"Are you sirs and Miss here for breakfast?" one of the house elves squeaked upon their arrival.

"Yeah," Sirius said, then paused. "What do you mean, 'Miss?'"

"Turn around, Black," Lily Evans said dryly.

"Evans! Didn't see you come in," Sirius said.

"Glad you could join us," James said.

"I'll take some toast to go, please," Lily told the elf.

"Of course, Miss," the elf said. "Will you sirs be wanting to take yours also?"

"We'll stay here, if it's not too much trouble," Remus said.

"No trouble at all, sir!" the elf said.

A few elves hurried off, returning quickly with heaping plates of breakfast food for the boys and a more than adequate amount of toast for Lily.

"Thanks," Lily said as she grabbed the toast. She turned to leave, pausing only before the door. "You four had better not do anything madder than what you did with the Great Hall," she warned.

"Do we ever disappoint?" Sirius asked cheekily.

Lily sighed. "Frequently." With that, she left the kitchens.

The boys watched her go.

"She'll be thrilled when she gets to class," Sirius decided.

"Very," Remus agreed.

"Anyway," James said, "I think we need a toast to April Fools Day."

Sirius nodded seriously. "I think that we do."

The Marauders held up their flasks of pumpkin juice.

"To the greatest day of the year," James said, "and to pranking."

The others echoed him.

"So," Sirius said after they had finished, "Shall we see how it went?"

It went well.

The looks of shock and whispered from their classmates were priceless.

"Here _and_ the Great Hall?"

"Blimey, they've outdone themselves."

"How in the name of Merlin's saggy left-?"

"Two galleons that the Marauders are behind it."

"You're on."

Like in the Great Hall, the Room had been turned upside down. All of the desks in the History of Magic classroom were stuck to the ceiling.

Lily gave Remus, James, Peter, and Sirius a look of exasperation.

Sirius winked at her.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Take your seats, take your seats…" Binns called in a droning tone from the front of the room. "Today we'll be covering the- yes, Ms. Mcthingy?"

"It's McKinnon," Marlene corrected, "and we can't."

"Why ever not?" Binns asked, not looking away from the chalkboard.

"The desks are on the ceiling," Marlene said.

"What?"

"The desks have been stuck to the ceiling," Hestia said.

"Oh, well, Ms. Johns-"

"Jones," Hestia corrected.

"-then you'll have to get them down."

The Marauders exchanged grins; this was working out even better than they had planned.

"Professor, I don't think any of us know how to get them down," Hestia said.

Binns did not reply.

"Professor-"

Binns began his droning. "In sixteen forty-five, Fawley the Fervent began trying to- anyone? Anyone?"

The situation was the same in the rest of the classes. Chairs, desks, and assortments of other items were stuck to the ceiling, making it impossible to sit down in them.

In Transfiguration, McGonagall sighed as she pointed to the desks.

"Somebody has decided to stick all of the furniture to the ceiling. As such, we will have a review today instead of the practical work I had planned," she said.

For all the furniture being stuck to the ceiling, it was an uneventful class.

Sirius ended it by asking McGonagall, "Hypothetically, Minnie, what do you think about the change in decoration?"

"Hypothetically, Mr. Black, I think that it's obnoxious yet slightly entertaining," McGonagall said.

Sirius grinned.

In Potions, Slughorn enlisted the class to try and help him get the potions tables down.

"The incantation should be _Priori Incantatem_ ," Slughorn said. "Everyone, head to your station and use the incantation on the table. First person to manage it will be a small sampling of a love potion. Off the books, that is."

The Marauders went to their stations along with the rest of the class. Choruses of " _Priori Incantatem!_ " filled the classroom as most of the students attempted to get the tables down. The Marauders were not among those to try and set the classroom right.

"I thought you'd by trying, mate," Sirius commented, looking to James.

"I don't need a potion to win Evans' heart," James said. "Also, if I got it, everyone would know it was us."

"Everyone already knows it was us," Remus said, pointing his wand at the ceiling. " _Priori Incantatem._ "

"Don't undo it!" Sirius said.

The table and stools that went with it didn't budge.

"I'm not," Remus said. " _Priori Incantatem_ isn't the right spell. Actually, it's not so much a spell as it is an event."

"And this is why I say he's a public menace," Sirius said triumphantly. "See, Remus, you can't deny it now!"

"Yes, I can."

"No, you can't."

"He just did," James pointed out.

Sirius glared sourly at him and Remus in turn.

Slughorn didn't seem to notice he had gotten his incantations and terminology mixed up, and dismissed the class at the end of the hour, looking unhappily at the ceiling.

For lunch, Dumbledore had not fixed the Great Hall, instead sending food to the Common Rooms, which were all, with the exception of Gryffindor, with chairs and tables firmly on the ground.

The Marauders ate a quick meal, then hurried to the entrance of the Slytherin Common Room under the invisibility cloak.

When the rest of the school returned to classes, the Slytherins returned with bright orange skin, speckled with blue stars.

It was plain to see that they were unhappy returning to lessons looking like members of a circus.

"We should figure out where the other dormitories are," Sirius said to the others as they passed a cluster of disgruntled Slytherins.

"Ravenclaw might look good with green and orange," James nodded.

"No, we can't use green, then we'll look like we're supporting Slytherin."

"Oh, yeah. Good point."

Charms meant the class sitting cross legged on the floor, because Flitwick had decided that the April Fools' prank was "an excellent piece of charm work, and it would be a shame to take it down so soon."

In Defense Against the Dark Arts, Melior talked about countercharms, demonstrating with some of the desks on the ceiling. They crashed back down to the floor loudly, much to the Marauders' dismay.

Care of Magical Creatures was almost normal to begin with. It was outside, and given it had no desks, it wasn't upside down.

It was subject of another prank, though.

Kettleburn had been given a suave, purple mohawk. It clashed horribly with the bright orange sling that his arm was enveloped in.

"Purple and orange work," said Remus.

"Yeah," said Peter.

Kettleburn seemed to be rather excited about the whole ordeal.

"The color purple attracts various magical creatures," he told the class. "I had a review planned, but instead we'll walk around the grounds and see if we can find any."

"Why'd you go with purple?" Sirius grumbled. "Now we've got to walk around pointlessly."

"You were the one who told me to do purple," Remus said.

"That was James."

"No, I said we should do pink," James said.

"You said purple, I said pink."

"You said purple, I said pink."

"Hey! Maybe it was Peter! Peter suggested it!"

"No, I thought we should do green, but you shouted at me because that's a Slytherin color," Peter said.

"Well, then it was Remus, because it wasn't me."

"Quiet back there!" Kettleburn called, leading the class away from the castle. "We won't see anything if we scare it away!"

"Why'd we even sign up for this class?" Sirius asked.

"It's an interesting class," Remus said. "And it's really hands on, especially when it's practical."

"I like those parts, but walking around and doing nature hikes, on April Fools Day of all days, are completely uncalled for."

The walk proved to be fruitless. The most exciting thing seen was Evan Rosier falling into the lake on account of Sirius, who received a detention.

"I wonder if they've fixed the hall yet," James commented as they left class.

"I hope not, the day isn't over. Kitchens, anyone?" Sirius asked.

"We were just there this morning," Remus said. "And there'll be dinner later-"

"It's April Fools, you can't say no to mischief," Sirius said.

"Sneaking into the kitchens isn't mischief," Peter said.

"It's technically not allowed," James reasoned.

"Since when have you used technicalities?" Sirius said.

"Since now."

"You're turning into Remus! Remus, you're a bad influence! Now I've got to fix James. James, repeat after me: Loopholes are only to be found by one Remus Lupin. I am not one Remus Lupin."

"Loopholes are only to be found by one Remus Lupin. I am not one Remus Lupin."

"Brilliant, now all we need is a technicality-free trip to the kitchens."

"Technically-" Remus started.

Sirius groaned.

By dinner, the Great Hall had been fixed, as had the rest of the school, much to the dismay of the Marauders.

Dumbledore rose to address the school right as dinner began.

"I think that some sort of large form of chaos is begging to become a tradition here," Dumbledore said, looking knowingly toward the Marauders with a twinkle in his eye. "Last year we had the malfunctioning staircases, this year we've had upside down classrooms. Next year I have a feeling will be something even bigger. Before we begin speculating, a happy April Fools Day to all of you."

Sirius grinned. "Good old Dumbles. He's got a good sense of humor."

Remus glanced at Sirius. "Are you seriously calling him 'Dumbles?'"

"You should know by now that I'm always Sirius," Sirius said.

There were three collective groans.

"Other than that," Dumbledore continued, "Heads of House will be coming around tomorrow with a signup sheet should you want to stay during the Easter Holidays, which will begin next week. I believe that is all. On that note, tuck in."

Food filled the platters in the center of the table, and the hall filled with chatter.

"-can't believe that the tables were upside down."

"And the candles in here!"

"I'm glad nothing set on fire, that wouldn't have been good."

"My bag reeks of dungbombs now, I can't believe that Sylvie Smith-"

"Dungbombs!" James shouted suddenly.

"What?" Peter asked.

"Dungbombs, there was that sale that was going to be in Zonko's, remember? We should have done that instead of going to the kitchens!"

"We can do it after dinner," Sirius offered. "How long is the shop open?"

"I think it closes soon- about eight."

"It's seven thirty now, we can still make it!"

"You'll miss dinner," Peter said.

"We can always go to the kitchens. James, you run up to the dorm and grab the cloak and some galleons, I'll go make sure the corridor is empty. Meet you by the one-eyed witch."

Hurriedly, the two stood and rushed from the hall.

"They're determined," Remus said observantly.

"Yeah," Peter agreed.


	33. Hogsmeade

James and Sirius ran down the passageway. Their footsteps echoed loudly against the stone walls, and no other sounds were heard except for their panting. They refused to stop or slow down; they were determined.

So determined that they didn't notice when the tunnel began to rise, leveling out-

"Ouch!"

There was a crack as a head collided with the trapdoor ceiling.

"Why'd you stop?"

"We made it. Ouch, my head hurts, come on."

The trapdoor was slowly pushed open, and the boys emerged.

James threw the invisibility cloak over them as Sirius closed the trapdoor.

"Alright, let's go," James whispered.

They crept up the basement steps and into the shop part of Honeydukes, which was empty except for the brightly colored candies that lined the shelves.

At the front of the shop, Sirius slowly pushed the door open.

Light flooded out from the empty room onto the street as he and James slipped into the night.

"Okay, I think we go left," James said.

"It's only a few shops down, we don't need to bother with directions," Sirius said.

They hurried to the front of the store, passing only a witch muttering about pickled toads.

"We're too late," James said.

It was true; the shop's lights had been turned off, and there was no sign of movement through the front windows.

"No," Sirius said. "It's still April first, and therefore April Fools Day. The offer ends then. We can still get the deal."

"How?"

"Like this." Sirius slipped his wand from his pocket. " _Alohomora._ "

"We can't just break into a shop!" James protested.

"Technically we didn't _break_ anything-"

"And you were lecturing _me_ about loopholes and technicalities earlier?"

"Now I'm turning into Moony. Next I'll be wanting to go to the library of my own free will. Come on."

Hesitantly, the two boys headed into the empty shop.

When the lights were on, everything was vividly colored with shades of orange and green. Now in the darkness, the colors had seemed to fade.

"There it is!" James said. He pointed down a few shelves to a display of dungbombs.

"Brilliant. Here, you grab one of packs, I'll pay."

"No one's here, how are you going to pay?"

"I'll leave it on the counter with a note, I don't plan on stealing."

"We have to do it one at a time, the cloak isn't big enough- Sirius!" James hissed.

Sirius ducked out from under the cloak and quietly made his way to the front counter. From his pocket he pulled out a piece of parchment, a quill, a small flask of ink, and five golden galleons. He began to scrawl quickly:

 _Manager of Zonko's,_

 _Happy April Fools' Day. Hope you got around to pranking a few people._

 _A few months ago we saw your advertisement for the dungbombs- one hundred for three galleons. Unfortunately we didn't make it in time to pay you up front. Here's the money we owe, plus some extra for letting us enter after hours._

 _Promise we didn't take anything else, prankster's word._

 _-The Marauders._

Sirius quickly folded the note, placed it on the counter, set the galleons above it, and hurried back to find James. "Oi, mate, where are you?"

"Right here," a voice came from beside him.

James suddenly appeared as he covered Sirius in the cloak.

"You paid?" he checked.

"Yeah, three plus an extra two for letting us in after hours. You've got the stuff?"

"Yeah." James held up a large bag of dungbombs.

"Alright, let's go."

They left Zonko's, closing and locking the door behind them.

It didn't take long for them to get to the storefront of Honeydukes.

Sirius attempted to opened the door. It didn't budge. " _Alohomora,_ " he tried, but to no avail. "They must have closed the shop, it's locked with some fancy spell- we can't get back in!"

"What? Here, let me try," James said, pulling out his wand. " _Alohomora!_ "

There was no click or movement of the door.

Sirius swore. "We can't get back to the school!"

"What about the front way, the way we come down on regular days?" James suggested.

"They'll have everything locked up by now," Sirius said. "I don't think there are any other ways."

"Maybe there's another secret passage," James said.

"What are the odds of us finding one?" Sirius asked. "We can't get into anywhere, and we only know-" He stopped suddenly.

"What?" James said.

"And we only know _two secret passages!_ " Sirius said excitedly. "We can get into the Shack and take the tunnel under the Whomping Willow!"

"Brilliant," James said. "Which way was it again?"

"This way, I think," Sirius said, pointing away from the direction they had come.

They set off towards the outskirts of the village.

The cobbled roads slowly faded to a beaten path that led up a small slope. From the crest of the slope the so-dubbed Shrieking Shack was visible.

With its boarded-up windows and mossy, overgrown garden, it looked like a stereotypical haunted house, though that was far from the truth.

"It's gotten worse since we came," Sirius noted.

"Yeah," James said.

They were silent for a moment.

"Right. We need to find a way in," Sirius said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah. Remus said it's really secure," James said. "So it might take some time."

"Then let's get started."

They set down the slope, heading for the Shack.

If possible, the place looked more desolate from up close.

James peered through two of the boards covering one of the windows. "This isn't loose, and I don't want to break anything trying to get in."

"Yeah. Wait- there were loose shingles last time, right? If no one's fixed that, there could be a hole in the roof because the shingles aren't covering the boards," Sirius said. "We'd have to get to the roof first, though, and I don't really want to try climbing this."

"Do we have any other options?" James asked.

"Get expelled, go back to Honeydukes and break down the door, try climbing the castle gates…. Yeah. This is probably the best idea."

James went first. "You'd better catch me if I fall."

Sirius grimaced. "I'll try, but no guarantees. That would be a bad fall, though."

James began climbing, wedging his feet between boards, which fortunately didn't break. He made it to the second floor before glancing down.

"You're not dead, you're doing great!" Sirius assured him from below.

James gave a half amused snort and continued climbing. He reached the top, struggling to gingerly pull himself onto the roof.

As before, there were a few shingles strewn about the roof, but no holes in the roof that would be big enough for them to slip though.

James swore, then called down, "There's nothing here, I'm coming down."

"What are we going to do?"

The boys were again under the cloak, now wandering the streets of Hogsmeade.

"I don't know. We've tried everything," James said hopelessly.

"I really wish that bloody door would have opened," Sirius agreed.

They wandered down towards the station where the Hogwarts Express arrived and departed.

"What sort of spell can't be ' _Alohomora_ ed' anyway?" James said. "And what's the use of an unlocking charm if it doesn't unlock everything?"

"It's about as good as having a Giant Squid at Hogwarts," Sirius said. "It sounds brilliant, but it doesn't do- hey, that's it!"

"What?" James said.

"We can swim across the lake, it leads to the castle!" Sirius said.

James hesitated for half a moment, then- "Come on, then!"

The boys dashed across the train tracks and down to the dock on the edge of the lake.

"The Squid won't attack us, right?"

"No, I don't think so. Apparently a few years back some kid fell in and the Squid helped him out. We should be good."

"Okay. Here, pass me the cloak, I'll put it in my pocket."

"Alright, here."

The boys became visible as James tucked the cloak into his robes.

They looked out across the lake. The faintly lit spires of Hogwarts glowed in the distance, just barely visible.

Sirius pulled his wand from his pocket and stuck it between his teeth.

James gave him an odd look.

"I don't want to loose it," Sirius said between the wood.

"Oh. Well, in that case…." James did the same.

Then with nodds, they jumped, launching themselves into the lake.

There was a muffled shout from Sirius as he submerged. "It's cold!"

James nodded, shivering, but wasted no time beginning to swim for the shore.

Sirius followed suit, and soon enough they were yards from the shore.

They continued swimming against the cold, dark water. Their now-heavy robes added extra weight. No energy was spared on looking for the famed Giant Squid or talking.

Gradually, Hogwarts appeared in all of its glory, towers reaching for the sky and lit windows flickering like fireflies.

Finally, with arms and legs of lead, James and Sirius dragged themselves onto the shore beside the lake.

"Bloody hell," Sirius said feebly. "That was hard."

"And I thought Hogwarts Marco Polo was a lot," James said in the same tone.

"You've still got the dungbombs, right?" Sirius asked.

James held up the soaked but still intact bag.

"And the cloak?"

James fished around in his pocket for a moment before pulling out his sopping invisibility cloak."

"And your wand?"

James held up his wand.

"We're all good, then." Sirius looked to the castle. "Let's get inside, I'm freezing."

Fortunately, they managed to sneak back to Gryffindor Tower without being caught. When they got into their dorm, Remus was enveloped in a book and Peter asleep. Remus glanced up when he saw them, taking in their soaked clothes and exhausted expressions.

"What happened?" he asked. "You were gone for almost three hours- and why are you wet?"

"Well," Sirius said, "We snuck into Honeydukes without any problems. Then we headed to Zonko's and made a lawful heist-"

"Heist?"

"-and while we were leaving Zonko's, Honeydukes was closed up, then we couldn't get back inside to the passage. So we were kind of stuck until James suggested we try and get into the Shack to take the passage back here-"

"That was you," James corrected.

"You went into the Shack?" Remus demanded.

"We couldn't get in and we didn't break anything trying," Sirius said.

"You can't go there, it's-"

Anyway, the place was secure and we couldn't get in, so we wandered around for a bit. Then I said that we should try and swim back though the lake because that's how the first years come in with their boats and whatnot. We raced the Squid to the shore-"

"We didn't even see the Squid."

"-and that's how we got all wet," Sirius finished.

Remus was quiet as he took the story in. Then he turned to James. "Is that how it happened?"

"More or less. Sirius embellished a bit," James shrugged.

Remus looked at the two of them. "No using that passage unless it's an emergency," he said. Before anyone could protest, he added, "Also, it has to be during the time the shops are open."

Sirius sighed. "Alright, but-"

"You two should get changed," Remus said.

"Good idea, I'm freezing," James nodded.

He and Sirius pulled on dry clothes quickly, then settled into their beds.

"Well," Sirius said, laying down, "Goodnight."

"No, you still have that essay to do," Remus pointed out.

"What essay?"

"Charms. Two rolls of parchment-"

"Two rolls!" Sirius yelped. "Is it due tomorrow? Please tell me it's not…."

Remus nodded.

James swore. "I forgot about that, too."

"You'd better get it done," Remus said.

"Yeah…. Sirius, can you grab my parchment, it's right- yeah, thanks. And a quill?"

"How'd we get stuck doing homework on April Fools Day?" Sirius asked. "It was supposed to be a fun day."

"If you had done it yesterday you wouldn't be doing it now," Remus said.

"How do you spell 'amorphous?'" James said, quill perched over the parchment.

"How do you know the word 'amorphous?'" Sirius said.

"Flitwick mentioned it in class when we tried to prank him first year, it was the last word he said before he was covered in porcupine quills."

"Oh yeah, I remember that."

"That was a fun detention."

By the end of the hour the essays were finished, if only to a questionable quality.

"Well, Messrs," Sirius said, "I believe that that was all in a good day's work."

No one answered back.

Sirius looked around the dorm to find all of the boys asleep.


	34. A Poorly Made Bet

"Why is there a dodgeball in here?" Peter asked, looking at the bright red ball that had been pulled out from under Sirius' bed.

"I don't know," James said.

"I think I brought it back from the Room of Requirement," Sirius said. He was laying down, halfway under his bad as he threw things out from under it. "Where is that essay?"

"You just did it the other day, how'd you lose it already?" Remus said.

"I don't know, it was here…."

"Well, it's not here anymore. We've got to go, otherwise we'll be late to breakfast," Peter said.

"Good point. Well, I guess my History of Magic grade is going to go down. Let's go."

"You're not turning in an essay so you can eat breakfast?" Remus said, almost incredulously.

"Breakfast is more important," Sirius said resolutely.

The day began with History of Magic, which was as it always was; boring. Transfiguration was unusually dull, as were Potions and Charms. Defense Against the Dark Arts housed some excitement.

"Our next unit will be focusing on dueling," Melior told the class briskly. "Dueling is a fundamental skill that while not encouraged, is useful to know. Today we'll being covering the theory. After tomorrow, you'll be spending a few classes learning a few useful hexes, jinxes, and defensive spells. Next week will be a few days of practical work."

The class muttered excitedly among themselves.

"Dueling? That's against the rules!"

"Melior's teaching it, though…."

"This is brilliant, maybe I'll find a good jinx for Ümalt."

"You think he'll teach us the bat-bogey hex?"

"I hope not, remember first year?"

"Oh yeah, right."

Melior quieted the class quickly. "Before any wands are taken out, turn to page two hundred and twenty three."

The class compiled readily.

"I can't believe that he's having us duel in class," Sirius said after the lesson had finished.

"It'll be brilliant!" James agreed.

"We should go to the library and learn some jinxes and hexes on our own," Sirius said. "Get ahead of the class."

Remus looked at him in shock. "Did you just say you wanted to go to the library for academic purposes?" he asked.

Sirius blinked. "Of course not, I-" He swore loudly. "I'm turning into Moony! First James, now me! What is happening?"

"You're taking value in education," Remus said approvingly.

"What? No. Let me rephrase: We should go to the library to find extra hexes and jinxes to humiliate our classmates and add to our arsenal."

Remus sighed. "And I thought I was making improvement."

"Improvement? You've been trying? Remus, you wound me!" Sirius said dramatically.

The next day, Melior began going over various defensive and offensive spells.

"Try not to flourish your wand too much," he told Peter, who while trying to disarm Remus had instead knocked his own wand from his hand.

Peter nodded hurriedly, retrieved his wand, and tried again, with the same outcome.

"Like this," Melior said, then demonstrated the spell. " _Expelliarmus!_ "

Remus' wand flew from his hand.

Melior caught it, returned it, then instructed Peter to try again.

" _Expelliarmus!_ " Peter said.

Remus' wand gave a small jolt, but did not leave his hand.

Melior sighed, then decided shield charms were in order.

The shield charms went better than disarming, though not everyone was able to accomplish it.

The real excitement came when it was time for learning the hexes and jinxes the next day.

"We're learning three more spells today," Melior said. "All jinxes. We'll take care of the hexes tomorrow, and then Monday will be the start of the practical section."

Sirius and James grinned at each other.

By the end of the lesson, they were armed with three new jinxes.

The next day's hexes made the whole class quite powerful, resulting in a definite increase in visits to the Hospital Wing.

They spent the weekend looking forward to Monday, and when it came, the D.A.D.A class entered the classroom in anticipation.

The desks had been cleared to the side of the room, making a long isle.  
"Everyone to the sides of the room," Melior instructed.  
The class complied readily.  
"We'll be dueling two at a time," he said. "You may use the spells we have covered in class. Please refrain from using any hexes picked up from outside of class. Mr. Pettigrew, Ms. Jones, if you two would like to start us out."  
Peter nervously joined Hestia in the open space.  
"Remember the dueling etiquette," Melior said. "Bow, paces, and stance."  
Peter and Hestia bowed, then each backed up five paces. They took their stances-

"Begin," Melior said.

"Come on, Peter!" Sirius cheered.

" _Flipendo!_ " Peter said.

Hestia blocked it easily with a cry of, " _Protogo!_ "

Peter tried again to no avail.

" _Expelliarmus!_ " Hestia shouted. She caught Peter's wand as it soared in a high arc through the air.

"Very good, Ms. Jones, Mr. Pettigrew. Ms. Fortescue, against Mr. Prewett."

Alice and Fabian took their places, bowed, and did their paces.

" _Orbis!_ " Fabian said.

Alice was immediately rooted to the ground. She ducked as Fabian sent a hex at her, then retaliated by hitting him with _Flipendo._

From the ground, Fabian flicked his wand sharply, and leeks began to sprout from Alice's ears.

Melior stepped forward. "Spells from class only, Mr. Prewett. Ms. McKinnon, if you could escort Ms. Fortescue to the Hospital Wing.…"

Marlene and Alice hurried out of the room. Fabian rejoined the crowd.

"Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, you two next."

"If I win, you consent to an unscheduled trip to Hogsmeade. If you win, I'll start studying for exams after the unit without complaining," Sirius muttered as he and Remus took their places.

Remus hesitated for half a moment, then decided quietly, "Deal."

The two bowed, backed up, and readied themselves.

Then the duel began.

Sirius shouted, " _Ebublio_!"

Remus blocked it.

"Spells from class only, Mr. Black," Melior warned.

"Sorry, Professor. Just trying to mix things up," Sirius shrugged. " _Flipendo!_ "

Remus blocked again.

Things became more intense as Sirius flung spells faster and faster. Remus was only just barely able to maneuver around them or throw up a shield charm in time to avoid them.

" _Anaticula!_ "

This one Remus did not avoid. He groaned as he realized which spell he had been hit with.

Sirius grinned. "Hit me with your best shot!"

"Why don't you hit me with yours?"

"No, I think you should play offense now."

"I don't think so."

They were at a standstill until Melior told Remus, "Use something, we need to keep this moving."

With a sigh, Remus attempted to cast a jelly-legs jinx _._ Rather than Sirius' legs beginning to wobble, a duck shot out from the tip of his wand.

The duck made an irritable noise as it ruffled its feathers and waddled away from the duelers.

People were roaring with laughter, with the exceptions of Sirius and Remus, who were respectively flinging spells at the the other and ducking to avoid them.

Sirius' spells were gaining intensity as he shot them across the classroom, and Remus' dodging was only gaining a lack of speed.

In a last desperate attempt, Remus began using every spell he could think of, wand aimed at Sirius.

As this strategy was attempted, Sirius was incredibly amused. Until the ducks got in the way. He tripped over a particularly large one, giving a yelp as he fell, dropping his wand.

Remus grabbed it and smirked. "Guess you're studying for exams," he said smugly.

"Remus, you-!"

"As I need to clean up the room now," Melior said, "class will be ending early. We'll continue tomorrow. Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, if you would help me gather these ducks…."

"That was brilliant!" James declared as Sirius and Remus came into the Common Room later, covered in feathers.

"I knew it was a good spell," Sirius said.

"Yeah, and Remus, that was genius how you used it," James said.

"You're supposed to be on my side," Sirius complained.

"I'm on the winning side," James said.

"That's me!"

"Technically you lost the duel," Remus shrugged.

"Only because you got those ducks to do your dirty work!" Sirius argued.

"My 'dirty work?'" Remus asked.

"Yeah," said Sirius. "Knocking me over."

"It was a duel," said Remus. "That's kind of the point."

"I wish I could have gone," James said.

"I wish I hadn't, you could have gone for me," Peter said.

"I guess it's a bit late for that. Next time, just let me know."

Lily and James were pitted against each other for the last match of the next day.

"You're lucky we're only using spells from class," Lily said.

"You're lucky I'm planning to go easy on you," James replied.

"You do that, Potter."

"Of course, anything for you, Evans."

"Take your positions," Melior said.

James and Lily had bowed and taken their paces.

"Hey, Evans, I have an idea. How about if I win, you consider going out with-"

" _Flipendo!_ " Lily shouted.

James flew backwards. He quickly got back to his feet, then yelled, " _Expelliarmus!_ "

Lily blocked it. " _Protego."_

They went back and forth for a few minutes before anything happened.

" _Tarantallegra_!" James said.

This one hit Lily, and her feet began to whirl wildly, as though dancing. Uncontrollably, she lurched forward, yelling, " _Expelliarmus!_ " as she fell.

James' wand flew from his hand.

" _Finite_." Lily's legs stopped their frenzied movements. "You said you were going easy on me, Potter?" she asked sweetly.

"That's why I lost," James said.

"He didn't go easy on her," Sirius said. "Evans is actually really good."

"I was going easy," James insisted.

"You tell yourself that," Sirius said.

"I was going easy," James repeated.

The dueling unit ended far too soon for the liking of a good portion of Hogwarts. Particularly one Sirius Black.

He groaned. "Why did I make that bet?" he asked no one in particular. "Why did I decide to study for exams?"

"Without complaining," Remus reminded him.

Sirius groaned again. "It's _April_. How am I supposed to study in April?"

"Rereading the material, quizzing yourself, taking notes, reviewing the notes-"

"Alright, I get it."

"-setting aside specific time, taking less trips to the kitchens-"

"Exams are ages away, why do I have to be swotting over them and taking the fun out of life?"

"It's not taking the fun out of life, it's just spending more time on academics," Remus said.

"That's the same thing," Sirius said decisively. "'Studying' is a contraction of 'student dying.' I don't think dying is considered fun."

"'Studying' is not a contraction of 'student dying,' honestly-"

"What else would it be a contraction of?"

"It's not a contraction-"

"I have to agree with Sirius on this one," James said, glancing over.

"Exactly," Sirius said.

"But mate, you are actually supposed to be studying," James said.

"I was getting away with stalling!"

"Maybe you were, but now you're not," Remus said. "We should go through the Transfiguration notes from the beginning of the year, that'll be a good start."

"Save me, James!" Sirius pleaded.

"I don't have a time turner, I can't keep you from making that bet, nor do I want to be dragged into studying with you," James said. "Bye, mates. I'm off to Quidditch practice."

"Don't leave me! James, come back!"

James stood and left the room.

"Well," Remus said, "I believe that starts our study session."

James returned from Quidditch practice to find Sirius alone in the dorm in absolute misery.

"Was it that bad?" James asked.

"Yeah. Two hours. Two full hours!" Sirius said.

"Well, that's why you don't make bets or gamble," James shrugged.

"And it's not over, Remus said we're studying again on Monday," said Sirius. "I can't believe he's making me do this."

"I can," said James, "and at least you get the weekend off."

"Yeah, but still. I could be doing something productive- like raiding the kitchens, or pranking someone."

James nodded. "That would be much more productive."

"Exactly. But I have to study. It's a waste of time!"

"Like I said: don't gamble."


	35. Hexes

The full moon had fallen in the middle of the month. As was custom, Remus went to the Shack, then returned as quickly as he was able to.

The day after the transformation, James, Sirius, and Peter came to visit him, bringing a combination of chocolate and notes from lessons.

"Here's Transfiguration," Peter said, passing Remus a small stack of parchment, "Charms, D.A.D.A, and I think that's History of Magic."

"Thanks," Remus said, paging through the notes.

"It's not History of Magic," said Sirius. "I fell asleep in that one, so we don't have notes. Sorry, mate."

"It's alright, I can check the textbook. What was the topic?"

"Er…. It might have been about witch burnings… in the fifteenth century," James said unsurely.

"Fourteenth century," Peter corrected.

"Fourteenth century. Right."

"Anything in Care of Magical Creatures?" Remus asked.

"Kettleburn was talking about Augureys. Those birds that sing when it rains," Sirius said. "We had to submit a sketch and all that. It's due at the end of the hour tomorrow, but if you need to, I bet Kettleburn would let you off."

"Anything else-?"

The Hospital Wing doors were thrown open.

The boys whirled around to find an older Hufflepuff storming into the room, a first year Ravenclaw in tow.

"Bloody hell," Sirius said quietly.

The Ravenclaw's head had been enlarged to a disproportionate size- larger than the largest serving platter in the Great Hall. He was bent forward slightly due to the sheer weight of his head, and looked uncomfortable.

"Madam Pomfrey!" the Hufflepuff said, voice laced with fury.

"With you in a moment!" Madam Pomfrey called from the back room.

"What happened to him?" James asked, staring at the Ravenclaw.

"What's it this time, Abbott?" Madam Pomfrey said, coming into view. "If you've gotten yourself in another- dear heavens, what's happened here?"

"I found Lestrange and his gang harping on him," the Hufflepuff said angrily. "I went to intervene when he used whatever hex this is on him."

"Whatever happened to the no dueling rule?" Pomfrey fumed.

"The boy never got a chance to retaliate, it couldn't be called a duel," Abbott said.

"Is that true?"

"Yes, Ma'am," the first year said timidly. "I was just trying to ask about a rumor I heard, from one of my books, and then he said I wasn't fit to be asking questions and one of his friends hexed me."

"I'll be seeing the headmaster about this," Pomfrey said.

"Good," Abbott said bitterly. "It's about time that lot gets in trouble."

Madam Pomfrey ignored him. "Do you know what hex he used? Was it _engorgio_ , or one specially for the head?"

"I don't know, Ma'am."

"Abbott, did you catch it?"

"No, he said it very quietly," Abbott said.

Pomfrey gave an unhappy hum. "Well, let's get you a bed," she said, turning to the Ravenclaw. "And Abbott, you're free to go."

The Hufflepuff left, throwing a backward glance over his shoulder.

"Lestrange?" James said. "That git, hexing first years…."

Normally, Sirius would take this opportunity to agree. Instead, he said, "I've got to go."

"Go where?" James said.

"Lestrange and his crowd, that's who Regulus hangs out with," Sirius said darkly. "He's got to get away from them, if that's the sort of thing they're doing."

"Enlarging people's heads?"

"It's worse than that. That's an illegal hex."

Sirius didn't have the slightest idea where Regulus would be. All he knew was that he had to find him.

Lestrange, Macnair, Rosier, Crouch, and Snape. Of all the people to spend time with, Regulus had had to pick those five.

Maybe it would have been better if he had been in Gryffindor, regardless of their mother's wrath.

Rather than focusing for more than a minute on those bitter thoughts, Sirius focused on finding his brother. That was the priority.

The corridors were practically empty. It was a surprisingly nice day, and the majority of the student body was outside enjoying it.

That would be a good place to start- outside- if not for the fact that Abbott had been the only one to report Lestrange, and the manner of hex used. That meant that it was likely no one had seen it happen, leaving the whole inside of the castle.

Sirius gave out a frustrated groan. This would take ages.

He began a brisk wander around the castle. Past the Charms room, down a flight of stairs, past Transfiguration, around a corner….

"Regulus!"

Regulus was alone at the end of the corridor opposite of Transfiguration. He looked up; surprise flickered across his face; then he looked away impassively, making to leave the corridor.

"Regulus!"

"I don't want to talk to you," Regulus said sharply.

"Please, wait a moment," Sirius said. "I'm sorry, honestly. I shouldn't have-"

"I have places to be." Regulus continued to walk away from Sirius.

Sirius started after his brother in shock. "If this is about that day in the corridor, I was about to apologize," he finally said.

"Which day?"

"What do you mean 'which day?'"

"The day where you obliviated Severus and Barty, or the other day in the corridor Evan told me about when you went after him and Severus unprovoked?" Regulus asked coolly.

"I was thinking about the first one, but I can explain the second one-"

"Really? Or were you just hexing them for fun?"

Sirius was speechless.

"I'm listening," Regulus taunted.

"I- I hexed them because of you!" Sirius said, aghast.

"And why would you do that?"

"Snape and that lot- they were trying to help turn you into another blood purist git!" Sirius said helplessly. "I can't let that happen to you, you're better than that! I'm trying to help you!"

"I don't need your help."

His words were like well-filed and thrown knives, cutting and hitting their target exactly.

Sirius winced, but tried again.

"That's not you talking, that's them, you can't honestly believe them-"

"Who do I have to believe them over, you? You're a liar, Sirius. Why would I take your word?"

"You don't have to take my word for it, I shouldn't expect you to. But they- that first year Lestrange hexed- that was an illegal hex! The illegal growth hex! I've seen mum do it to people enough to know the difference between that and _engorgio_ , don't tell me I'm wrong. You can't go hanging with that lot, it'll only get you in over your head."

"It wasn't Rabastan that fired the curse, it was Severus, and the kid was spreading rumors-"

"You're going to stand for that?" Sirius said, shocked. "You're going to _let_ them do that, and stand around and watch? Join in?"

"Mum appreciates my choice in friends," Regulus said. "You don't have to."

"That's all the more reason to not be friends with them, you know what Mum's like-"

"She knows what she's doing."

"Yeah, throwing you to the basilisks. Don't fall for it, please," Sirius pleaded.

"I'm not the one who was thrown to the basilisks. You're the one who wound up in Gryffindor and started listening to half bloods and blood traitors-"

"Don't talk about them like that-"

"Why shouldn't I? If you don't want to do it the proper way and put them in your place, that's your problem. You should have been in Slytherin, maybe then you wouldn't have ended up like this. Too far gone, I guess."

A look of horrified desperation etched itself onto Sirius' face.

"Goodbye, Sirius."

"Reg, please, wait!"

But Regulus was gone, leaving Sirius alone in the empty corridor.

He was silent as he tried to comprehend what had happened. What his brother had said.

 _I don't want to talk to you…. Why would I take your word…? The kid was spreading rumors…. You're the one who wound up in Gryffindor and started listening to half bloods and blood traitors…. Too far gone…. Goodbye, Sirius…._

What had they done to him?

Maybe the better question was, who had done this?

Those Slytherins, playing with his mind, feeding him lies, turning him into another one of _them…_.

No. That wasn't right.

Snape. It was Snape.

Snape had been the one to tell Regulus, " _Stay away from them and you'll be fine_." Snape was the one feeding the lies to him. Snape was the one who had hexed that Ravenclaw.

Without thinking, Sirius went off, already pulling his wand from his pocket.

Severus Snape knew he was not well-liked. That was a fact he had accepted, regardless of how much he disliked it.

He did not, however, think that he was hated enough to be cornered in a long corridor to be shouted at and hexed.

"What the bloody hell did you do to him?" Sirius Black demanded, holding his wand to Snape's throat as one would a knife. "What did you do to Regulus?"

"I haven't done a thing, Black," Snape snarled, still able to sound somewhat threatening with the wand to his throat.

"Is that so? I was just trying to talk to him, and he decided he didn't want to talk to me because I'm Gryffindor scum," Sirius said dangerously. "A lying, arrogant prick. I remember hearing those words before- from you. So, Snivellus, I'll ask again. What have you done to him?"

"I simply helped him on his way to his inheritance. It's the least I could do."

"Helped him to his inheritance? Do you have any idea what that is? Upholding blood purity and a legacy. It's not inheritance, it's a prison sentence, and you've trapped him into it."

"It's an inheritance, Black. Just because you think you're too good to accept it doesn't mean that the rest of the world shouldn't."

"I'm not too good to accept it, I'm the only one smart enough not to. And Regulus was going to be too, if you hadn't corrupted him."

"I did no such thing," Snape said. "I simply helped him uphold your reputation- you're welcome, by the way- and he's enjoying it."

"Not the Regulus I knew," Sirius said. "He never would."

"Funny. Reputation seems to matter to your brother and family, I heard him talking about it the other day and its benefits-"

"THAT SHOULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING!" Sirius roared.

Snape flinched.

"HE WAS MY BROTHER, THAT SHOULDN'T HAVE MATTERED!"

" _Was_ your brother, Black," Snape said, "and he's better now that it does."

That was when the hexes started flying.

A flash of blue, a shot of red, a white light.

All aimed at Snape.

Snape yelped, but Sirius was merciless. He would pay.

Pay for taking his brother, pay for turning him into a blood purist, pay for the cold, hard words, and the hardened look his Regulus' eyes when Sirius saw him, the cruel tone and sharp tongue-

"Mr. Black, Mr. Snape!"

Sirius almost didn't hear.

Suddenly his wand was flying from his hands, and he was frozen, unable to move.

Melior was striding briskly towards them. His wand was out, and with his robes billowing behind him, he looked quite authoritative.

"Mr. Black, my office," he said impassively. "Mr. Snape, I'll bring you to the Hospital Wing."

Sirius was suddenly able to move. He stumbled forward, then made toward Snape angrily, but froze after a warning look from Melior.

"My office," Melior instructed again.

Sirius complied, walking heavily down the corridor.

When James, Remus, and Peter saw Melior supporting Snape as he hobbled into Hospital Wing, they were taken aback.

"Bloody hell," James said.

"Was that-?" Peter asked.

"Sirius," confirmed James. "Probably."

"I thought he was going after his brother," Peter said, confused.

"I bet he went after Regulus, then went after Snape," Remus said. "Something happened."

"We should find him," James said.

"I know where he is, Mr. Potter," Melior said. He had come up behind the group.

"Can we see him?" James asked.

"I will deal with him," Melior said, "I daresay you'll talk later." He swept out of the Wing, closing the doors behind him.

"Talk later…. Good, that means he's not expelled," Remus said.

"Good," James repeated, glancing at Snape, who was now sprawled in a bed a few places over.

Sirius was sitting in Melior's bare, empty office. Despite having been in there alone for a few minutes, his anger had not subsided.

The door opened with a click, and in came Melior.

"Mr. Black, you were hexing Mr. Snape, when that is technically against school rules. Would you mind explaining?" he asked.

"Hate to break it to you, Professor, but I'm not really in the mood," Sirius said shortly.

Melior was quiet for a moment before speaking. "I'm that case, I'm going to have to give you a week or so of detentions, starting tomorrow night."

"Yes, Professor."

Melior pulled a wand out of his pocket- Sirius' wand- and passed it to Sirius. "Head back to your Common Room, then."

Sirius stood and left silently.

Only when he got back to his dormitory did reality seem to catch up to him, and the tears began to fall.


	36. Ruined Hair and an Unexpected Visitor

It was now a common occurrence to see Regulus Black alongside Snape, Lestrange, Crouch, Rosier, and Macnair.

It didn't help Sirius' mood; if anything, it made it worse.

Snape was hexed a total of six times (four by Sirius and twice by James, who claimed that Snape was making Sirius miserable, and as Sirius' best mate he had to do something) before the other Marauders took it into their own hands.

"Mate," James said one night in the dormitory at the prompting of Peter, "You've been in a mood for the past week. You're not up for anything, you're grades are plummeting-"

"Did Remus put you up to that one?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, I did," Remus said.

"I get that Snivellus has been a git and done some things that he shouldn't have," James continued, "but you can't keep hexing him in the open like that; you'll get expelled. What I suggest, instead of hexing him, is a prank of sorts."

"In true Marauder fashion," Peter added.

"Like what?" Sirius said.

"Something diabolical," James said, and the planning began.

The plan involved a total of four parts.

The first part required a distraction, the second involved some sneaking, the third was the setup, and finally was the prank itself.

"Alright," James whispered. "Begin Phase One."

"What was Phase One again?" Peter asked, shifting the large box he was holding to get a better grip on it.

"The distraction," Remus said.

"Oh yeah, right."

"Sirius, you've got the fireworks?" James checked.

Sirius grinned his usual, mischievous grin. "Never doubt the great Sirius Black."

"Of course not, unless you doubt the incredible James Potter."

"How could I? I doubt that-"

"This prank isn't going to happen unless you start the distraction," Remus reminded the others.

"That rhymed really well," James noted. "What was that phrase you used? Author and you don't-"

"Poet and you didn't know it. The prank?" Remus prompted.

"Right. Unleash the chaos."

Crouched behind the banister, Sirius prodded the fireworks with his wand, lighting them. He tossed them into the air above the corridor below them.

Showers of scarlet and gold stars fell upon the crowd gathered below.

They looked up at the fireworks, jumping at their loud bangs and flashes, though they stayed to watch. People from nearby corridors began peering around corners, trying to find the source of the pandemonium.

"Let's go," James said, and the four disappeared beneath the invisibility cloak.

They managed to sneak across the castle relatively quickly for being under the cloak, arriving in the main corridor by the Great Hall to find it empty.

"You brought that stuff from the Room of Requirement, right Peter?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah," Peter said, setting down the box in the empty corridor.

"Brilliant," James said. He pulled the cloak off them, opened the box, then cylindrical container with the label ' _Silly String_.' Pulling out and pointing his wand at the container, he muttered, " _Wingardium Leviosa_ ," and the can began to rise.

The can floated toward the high ceiling in the corridor.

"Now," James said.

" _Affigo,_ " Sirius said, pointing his wand at the floating can.

The can hit the ceiling with a soft clank, sticking.

"It works," James said. He and Sirius began working on the next one at the same time Peter and Remus began theirs.

Peter had the job of levitating.

Remus was the one to place the sticking charm, which was just as effective as Sirius'.

The process of levitating and sticking the cans was tedious as they had to be evenly placed, but it got done quickly enough.

"Now the hard part," Sirius said. "How were we going to activate them again?"

"The timer, when it's time for dinner," Remus said.

"And we've got those refilling charms on the cans?"

"Yeah. It should be all set."

"Positive?"

"Yeah."

The trap was set, and the Marauders waited anxiously for dinner.

At about seven o'clock, they made their way down to the corridor outside the Great Hall to find the place in disarray.

An odd, foamy, stringy substance covered the students and much of the floor in the corridor. It fell in colorful waves from the ceiling, dousing the people in the string.

There was a fraction of the people covered in the string who were playing around with it, sneaking up behind friends and dumping the stuff on their heads.

Those who were attacked seemed to do one of two things; retaliate or yelp.

The Marauders walked into the line of fire, getting covered in the stringy substance.

"This 'Silly String' stuff is brilliant," Sirius decided happily.

"And it's messing up your hair," James said.

It was true. Sirius' hair was now covered in a variety of foamy colors.

"What? Not brilliant!" He tried pulling the string out of his hair without any luck. "James!"

Sirius wasn't the only one shrieking about his hair; there was a cluster of girls trying to use textbooks to keep the foam out of their locks.

"It's not glitter," James said smugly.

"I thought we were friends!"

"Friends screw with each other's hair. That's how it works."

"You vile betrayer! I'm never speaking to you again! Neither is Remus or Peter!"

"Don't pull me into this," Remus said.

"Too late, Moony. You're on my side now."

"Well," James said, looking up, "I think we pulled it off. What do you say to dinner?" Looking up had made a mistake. He began heading towards the direction of the Great Hall, running straight into Peter, who fell into the accumulation of Silly String.

"He's got it on his glasses," Remus said.

"Yeah, sorry, Remus-"

"You ran Peter over, I'm fine."

"Oh. Sorry, Peter."

"It's fine. This stuff is really soft, actually," Peter said.

"Brilliant," Sirius said. "That'll get me in less trouble."

"I don't think the softness of the Silly String is going to keep Minnie from giving us detentions if she figures out that it was us," Remus pointed out.

"I know. But it'll get me in less trouble for doing this." Sirius calmly picked up a handful of the string and threw it at James, hitting him in the nose.

"Oi!" James said.

"That was for ruining my hair," Sirius said.

In retaliation, James picked up a handful of his own string and threw it where he thought Sirius had been. He hit Lily Evans instead.

"Potter," she said, turning from where she had been talking with Marlene.

"Hi, Evans," James said. "Enjoying yourself?"

Lily threw her own handful of string at him.

"What was that for?" he complained.

"For throwing stuff at me," Lily said matter-of-factly.

"I threw it at Sirius!"

"Well, it hit me."

"Sirius, how could you?"

Sirius shrugged. "Not my fault your aim's wonky," he said innocently.

James grabbed some more string and attempted to throw it at Sirius, missing again.

"Nice try- Oi!"

This time James' aim had been accurate. The wad of foam hit Sirius in the mouth.

He sputtered as he tried to spit it out. "That tastes like salty rubber. Is that even a thing?"

"Probably," Remus said.

"James, I officially hate you."

"You too, mate," James said smugly.

It took ten minutes for the combined abilities of the Hogwarts teachers to vanish the Silly String cans. Then Filch got to work, grumbling about students and the horrors of his job.

"It worked," Remus said lightly, looking back at the multicolored, stringy corridor as the teachers began clearing the area.

"Yeah," James said. "And I think the prank not only helped with the decor, but was also just fun."

"Pranks are always fun," Sirius said, "Unless you're the one being pranked."

"Agreed," James said.

"So," Peter said, "What next?"

"The kitchens," Sirius said decisively. "I think we need to celebrate our victory."

May began with warming weather. Heading outdoors to lounge by the lake and look for the Giant Squid or peer curiously into the Forbidden Forest were only dreams, however. Teachers were piling homework on everyone due to the rapid approach of exams.

"Six Inches due tomorrow!" Sirius moaned one day. "How am I supposed to do that?"

"Write really big," James offered.

"No, I can do that, but I still have to start Potions from Monday, and Transfiguration from Friday," Sirius said.

"This is why you keep on top of your assignments," Remus said from where he was reading.

"You know I can't do that, it would ruin my reputation!" Sirius said. "I can't be punk rock and-"

"Punk rock?" Peter asked.

"Since when have you been set in being punk rock?" Remus said.

"You wore a pink shirt to bed last night," James pointed out. "Explain how that's punk rock."

"Pink is a very punk rock color," Sirius said.

"Pink reminds me of flamingos."

"Flamingos are also punk rock."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Positive. Back to me deciding to not do the assignment-"

"You're doing the assignment," Remus said.

"They're overworking us, I'm going on Strike-"

"It's six inches, that's barely anything, and it's their job to teach us-"

"They're enslaving us! I refuse to allow that any longer. Why are you still on their side?"

Remus sighed, "We've had this conversation before, Sirius, and you know my reasoning."

"Join the revolution anyway. James, Peter, will you join my noble cause?"

"Sure…." Peter said unsurely.

"Of course!" James said.

There was another sigh from Remus. "Well, whatever your plan for this 'noble cause' is, it had better not interfere with homework."

"What homework?" Sirius said. "We're on Strike. Strikes know no homework."

Breakfast Wednesday morning was an unusual affair.

It started normally, like breakfast always did. Sirius reminded Peter that he wasn't supposed to steal his eggs, Peter protested, James attempted to talk to Lily, Lily ignored him and talked to Remus instead, and before talking with Lily, Remus made sure everyone had their homework for the day finished. (Despite Sirius' claim to be on Strike, he still did the assignments.)

Then, through the large doors of the Great Hall strode a portly presented man.

Whispered broke out among the hall as people began to whisper.

"That's the Minister!"

"The Minister of Magic?"

"What's he doing here?"

"He must be here to see Dumbledore."

"About what?"

"That thing in the Prophet, I bet."

"What thing in the Prophet?" James said, hurried snatching a copy off the table.

"I don't know, I haven't heard anything," Sirius said.

"He's talking with Dumbledore," Peter said, watching the Minister carefully.

The Minister looked quite worried as he whispered in Dumbledore's ear.

Dumbledore nodded, then left the Great Hall, the Minister quick in tow.

"Anything?" Sirius asked, trying to peer over James' shoulder and read the Prophet.

"New release of a Comet, some murder in Haverhill, a disappearance in Liverpool, some outbreak of dragon pox in Wales, reported sightings of nargles in Newfoundland-"

"What are nargles?" Sirius said.

"No idea," James said. "Remus?"

"No idea either," Remus said.

"But it doesn't look like anything the Minister would be involved in," James said.

"There's probably something that's not in the news," Remus said. "Or the whole story wasn't printed and one of these things is a bigger deal than what they're letting on."

"Maybe," James said, studying the Prophet more carefully.

They were quiet for a moment before Sirius said quietly, "We should follow them. If we use the cloak, they won't be able to tell that we're there."

"We can't, it's not our business," Remus said.

"What if it is?"

"What if it's not?"

"But what if it is?"

"If it is, they'll tell us soon enough," Remus reasoned.

"You can't just let them go off and talk privately," Sirius said.

"Yes, we can," Remus said.

"James, a little help?"

"Sorry, mate, but if the Minister's involved…. We should probably stay out of it," James said hesitantly.

"We're that Marauders. That means that we go off uncovering secrets and stuff like that-"

"Being the Marauders, we also know where we shouldn't stick our noses," Remus said.

"You three are no fun," Sirius grumbled.

"Of course we are," James said. "We're just sensible."

"More like Remus is sensible and he's using his Public Menace-ness to convince you to listen to him," Sirius said.

"That would be a fair point," Remus said, "If I was a Public Menace."

"You are too!"

"I definitely am not."

"Yes, you are-"

"No-"

"They're never going to let that go, are they?" James said.

"Probably not," Peter agreed.


	37. The Mark

Dumbledore made no mention of the Minister's visit, though the school was buzzing about it. That night in the Gryffindor Common Room, a good portion of the house stayed up discussing what had happened.

"He looked really off-put," Frank Longbottom noted. "Something's going on- he probably needed Dumbledore's advice."

"But for what?" Fabian Prewett asked. "There wasn't anything big in the paper."

"I bet that there's more to the story than what they're letting on," a seventh year said skeptically.

"So you think they're hushing it up?" Gideon said.

"The Ministry May be full of slugs, but I don't think they're that bad," Fabian shrugged.

"Anyway, it would have gotten out by now, right? You can't hush up something for too long," a fifth year said knowingly.

"There's something off about it, whether they're covering it up or not," the seventh year decided.

"There is something off about it," James agreed quietly.

"Yeah, and we'd know what if we had followed them," Sirius said. He had been insisting that they should have tailed the Minister since breakfast ended.

"Like Reighlit said, you can't keep something quiet forever," Remus said. "We'll know soon enough, I bet."

"That's his name?" James said.

"Yeah," Remus said.

"Didn't know that. Isn't he the bloke who-"

"That's not the point of this conversation," Sirius interrupted. "The point of this conversation is to figure out what's going on with the Ministry."

"We can't figure anything out until we have more information, and I don't think it's our place to go nosing around looking for information when it'll get out soon enough," Remus said.

"It's not like we would get caught-"

"Sirius, this is the Ministry of Magic that we're talking about. You can't honestly think that-"

"We'll make a decision when we have more information," James said. "I'll look through the Daily Prophet again and tell you if I see anything suspicious. Unless we see something else that's off, or hear something, we let the matter drop for now, got it?"

There was nothing to be found in the Prophet, nor was anything heard, other than the whispers that something was off.

With no definite information, life at Hogwarts continued relatively normally.

Normally alternately included James asking Lily out, Lily saying no, Sirius discreetly hexing Snape (though less vigorously), homework, and games of Wizards' Chess.

One such game was going on with ongoing unhelpful suggestions from Sirius to Peter, who was playing James.

"Alright, go to E-five, he can't get you there," Sirius advised, looking skeptically at the board.

Peter made the command, and the animated bishop slid across the board.

"Bad move," Remus said, watching as James' queen gave a hard blow to the bishop with her scepter.

The bishop crumpled.

"Okay, you can still win- put your knight to B-three, yeah," Sirius said.

Peter's piece was captured yet again.

"Try H-"

"Maybe don't listen to Sirius," Remus suggested.

"Come on, Moony. It'll work this time!"

"I don't know, you've left Peter short handed-"

"That's not Sirius, even though he is helping. That's just my great chess skills," James said.

"You were beat by a first year that one time-" said Sirius, but was cut off.

"Don't question me," James said, "Or I will have no choice but to question you, the great Sirius Black."

Sirius gasped dramatically. "How could you ever do such a thing?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measure," James said gravely.

"You can't be that desperate, can you?"

"I can."

"Oh, woe! Woe to me and to you and to the rest of the world!"

"Woe?" Peter asked.

"Tremendous woe," Sirius nodded. "James has questioned me, the incredible Sirius Black, Marauder, prankster extraordinaire, hater of homework-"

"If anyone should be in woe, it should be Peter, he's down to six pieces," Remus said dryly.

Peter nodded.

"Come on," Sirius said. "Don't steal my thunder."

May began, but regardless of their decision not to do anything until they had more information on why the Minister of Magic had visited Hogwarts, the Marauders still looked through the Daily Prophet carefully everyday, at least twice.

 **Disappearance in Manchester.**

 **Undiscovered Colony of Merpeople in the Nile River in Egypt.**

 **Death in Dufftown.**

 **Murder in Edinburgh.**

 **New Invention That Allows You to Travel by Kelpie.**

 **Rights of Bertie Bott's Passed to Bertie's Son Elliot.**

Each headline seemed pointless.

They weren't getting anywhere.

Friday appeared to be another day of useless headlines.

"Looks like they discovered some new constellation," James said uninterestedly, looking at the black and white picture on the cover of the paper.

"Really? Great. My parents are going to be thrilled, probably have another kid just to use the name," Sirius said boredly. "What's it called?"

"I don't see how they would use it for a name, it's called Dark Mark or something like that."

"Let me see," Sirius said, grabbing the paper from James. "Oh, they'll love this one. Evil-sounding name, a snake in it-"

"I don't think that's a constellation," Remus said uneasily.

"What else would it be?" Peter said.

"Read the article," Remus said.

 **Dark Mark Over Oxford**

 _Yet another Wizard was found dead. Jonas Quintus, twenty-three, was found dead inside his home last night by a friend who had come for tea._

 _Harvey Knoll discovered him inside the entry hall, mouth seemingly open in mid-speech, toppled over and unmoving._

" _He was jus' layin' there, still as a stone," Knoll said, tears in his eyes. "Motionless an' cold. Real cold. You ain't ever want to seen some'un like that."_

 _The death of Quintus has raised a number of questions in the Wizard in world._

 _Many people have been asking, "Why Jonas?" According to the people who knew him, he was a friendly face, social, and kindly opinionated._

 _No answer has been found yet to this question._

 _The more popular topic of debate is focused on what was found in the sky above his home when he was discovered._

 _A crudely vivacious green skull with a snake protruding from its jaw has been found above the homes of ten different people, now all assumed deceased, in the past six weeks. Many people have been dubbing it "The Dark Mark" in correlation with what is found where it is put._

" _It's a horrible thing," one witch said when asked about it. "Finding one of those above your home…. What you find inside is certainly dark. As for the Mark part, it's been showing up again and again, someone's behind it and wants us to know these deaths and disappearances are all connected."_

 _Who is behind this Dark Mark? No one has answers, and the Ministry of Magic has not had any leads._

" _Whoever murd'red Jonas an' all them others, they should be locked up fer it," Knoll stated. "I'm pos'tive that was a killing curse used, an' that's a ticket to Azkaban."_

 _The search for the identity of this murderer is ongoing. The Ministry of Magic has asked that if you have any information regarding the Mark or it's perpetrator, that you come forward at once._

The boys were silent for a minute.

Then Sirius spoke.

"Bloody hell," he said softly. "I bet that's what the Minister was here for. Dumbledore probably knew one of those blokes."

"And the Minister would be one of the first to know because he's top of the Ministry," James nodded. "That's why he was here- he probably was giving Dumbledore the news."

"Why would be look worried, though?" Peter said. "He didn't look sad, he was worried."

"Probably about how Dumbledore would react," James suggested. "We've never seen Dumbledore upset, Maybe that's scary to witness."

"I don't know…."

"Well," Sirius said, "We know what's going on now."

"Not really," James said. "You know what the Prophet said- they haven't got a clue who's behind these attacks."

"I bet that's why the Minister was here," Remus said, "He probably wants Dumbledore's help to figure out who's behind it."

"Or what they want," Sirius said darkly.

No one said anything.

"Great discussion, mates," said James.

"Absolutely brilliant," said Sirius.

"Couldn't have been better," added Peter.

Remus gave the other three a look.

James shrugged. "Just trying to defuse the tension."

Nobody spoke.

"We've got History of Magic," Remus said at last. "We should go."

"Yeah," James said.

All of Hogwarts had read the article, it seemed.

That was all that people talked about.

"The Ministry didn't mention the Mark in any of the other articles," a Ravenclaw was overheard saying in the corridors between Lunch and Charms.

"I knew it was covering something up," the seventh year Gryffindor said grimly. The mood in the castle was at an all time low, there was no debating that.

Hence why the Marauders decided that a distraction was in order. Namely, a prank.

"I can't take any more of this!" Sirius said during Care of Magical Creatures. Evan Rosier had brought up the Mark _again_. For the fifth time that hour.

"Everyone's really off-put about it," James said.

"So what do you suggest?" Remus said.

"A prank," Sirius decided.

"A cheerful prank," James agreed.

"A cheerful prank for the whole school."

"A cheerful prank for the whole school that will take everyone's mind off of things."

"A cheerful prank for the whole school that will take everyone's mind off of things and get them to stop talking about that bloody Mark."

James and Sirius smirked at each other.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That depends on what you're thinking."

"You know what I'm thinking about."

"Then, yeah, I'm thinking what you're thinking."

"What are you thinking?" Peter asked.

"Of a prank," Sirius said.

"We know that, but what kind of prank?"

"We told you, a cheerful prank for the whole school that will-"

"We heard that.

"Brilliant, then let's start planning," James said.

None of the teachers knew exactly how the Marauders managed to set loose a herd of ostriches on the school. All they knew was that one minute things had been normal.

Then all of hades had broken loose.

It started when dinner was set to begin. The Great Hall's doors were closed. Usually they would be open, but no one paid this any mind. None of them knew what the closed doors were concealing.

Inside the hall, the Marauders were each astride a giant bird, with the exception of Remus, who had volunteered to get the doors.

"Alright," James said, "Unleash the birds."

Remus pulled one of the doors open.

At Sirius' battle cry ("BIRD POWER!"), the ostriches surged forward, and the students crowded before the Great Hall turned and ran.

The students split one of two ways; down the corridor or up the staircase.

The majority of people went down the corridor, so that was where the ostriches went.

They raced through the school, thundering past a taken aback McGonagall, who had been one of the classrooms. She froze in surprise at the sight of the crowd of shouting students. That was, until she saw James, Sirius, and Peter astride the birds and Remus running after them.

"Hi, Minnie!" Sirius called.

McGonagall sighed and said, "Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew-"

"We know, Professor," James assured her.

As he disappeared around the corner, Sirius shouted, "We'll come to your office for biscuits later!"

With another sigh, she made to follow, pulling her wand out.

The ostriches continued to terrorize the students and the few teachers who had been caught up in the commotion without a good way to stop the birds.

"Boys, if you could stop the birds-" Slughorn started to say, but broke off with a yelp as one of the ostriches sped past him, just barely missing him.

James, Sirius, and Peter exchanged grins.

The fun came to an end when McGonagall cast a handy shield charm between the students and birds.

"But Minnie," Sirius said, "Could we have five more minutes?"

"Mr. Black, if I May ask where you got the birds?" McGonagall prompted.

"Hypothetically," James said, "We transfigured them."

With a short flick of her wand, the ostriches shrunk and flattened out, their plumage yellowing and crinkling.

James, Sirius, and Peter fell to the floor, landing on the untransfigured parchment.

It was then that Remus, who had fallen behind, caught up, breathing slightly heavily.

"Mr. Lupin, May I ask if you were a part of this?" McGonagall said, turning.

"Er-"

"It was only us three," James said.

Peter nodded.

"Very well, then," McGonagall said. "You can head to dinner- assuming the ostriches didn't demolish the food. Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Pettigrew, you three will come with me." With that, McGonagall gave her wand another flick, vanishing the paper, then made down the corridor.

James, Sirius, and Peter followed.

McGonagall led them to her office and had hardly gotten out the words, "Have a biscuit," when Sirius was seated and munching on a biscuit.

Holding back a sigh, she said, "Would you three mind explaining to me why you thought it would be a good idea to unleash ostriches on the school?"

"Well, Minnie," Sirius said, "Everyone's been talking about that snake thing- you know, the Mark."

"Everyone was behaving too seriously for Sirius' liking," James said.

"Exactly," Sirius said. "Only I wouldn't ever act like that-"

James groaned. "Not that joke again!"

"Of course, mate. Anyway, the point of setting ostriches on the school was to take everyone's mind off that stupid snake. And to remind everyone of bird power." Sirius grabbed another biscuit.

McGonagall gave them a slightly exasperated yet amused look.

James shrugged. "It's first-rate thinking."

"Hypothetically," she said slowly, "That's a good idea. But in the future, please keep the ostriches and biscuits eaten to a minimum."

The boys nodded.

"I'm going to have to give you a detention tomorrow night, though," McGonagall said.

"Alright," James said.

"Unless, hypothetically, of course, we could skip that detention?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"Hypothetically, Mr. Black, that is not an option," McGonagall said, almost looking as though she would smile.

"Well," Sirius said, "You can't blame me for trying."


	38. Developments and Camping

The randomness of the ostriches reduced the school's talk of the Dark Mark for a few hours, then it returned, though slightly less prevalent then before.

The talk of the Mark went unnoticed by James, Sirius, and Peter, however. They were in their dormitory, where they breathed loud sighs of triumphant relief as they closed the cover of _The Complete Animagus Transfiguration_ with a snap.

"Finished!" James said happily.

"Finally," Sirius sighed. "We're done."

"We should get those leaves and dew and stuff," James said.

"You need to keep the mandrake leaves in your mouth for a month," Peter said. "We've got exams next week, then school's out. There's not enough time."

"Yeah," Sirius said. "I don't about you, but my mum would go mad if the house smelled like mandrake leaves. Not to mention that we can't do magic outside of school. I don't fancy being dragged to the Ministry to explain what I was doing."

"And we don't even have some of the ingredients we need," Peter said.

"How soon can we get them?" James asked.

"I'll bet that I can get that moth thing at my house, I think my parents have one," Sirius said. "It might be tricky to get my hands on, but so long as Kreacher doesn't catch me, I think I can do it. We probably have a silver teaspoon, too. Maybe in the attic with all Dad's musty relics."

"Alright," James said. "If we've got everything, we can get it going first thing next year."

"What about the dew?" Sirius asked. "It'll only be around in the warmer weather, and with the warm weather, everyone will want to be on the grounds-"

"There might be dew in the Forbidden Forest," Peter suggested.

"Brilliant," James said. "We'll collect that during our camping trip."

"You're still on about that?"

"Of course. I was thinking we'd do it at the end of this year, but we can wait."

"Or we can do it this year when Remus comes back," Sirius said.

"Oh yeah. That's tomorrow, isn't it?" James said. "Did he head in early?"

"Yeah, I think so," Sirius said.

"Alright. We should check in on him later."

Sirius and Peter nodded.

"Right, yeah. Anyway, if we went after exams…."

"We've still got a good three days after exams end," Sirius said. "There'd be time."

"I don't think that camping in the forest is a good idea," Peter started.

"Of course it is!" Sirius insisted. "It'll be brilliant!"

"Are you serious-"

"Peter, mate," Sirius said cheekily, "Is there ever a time when I'm not Sirius?"

James and Peter sighed.

"You need better jokes," James said.

Despite Peter's (and when he heard the plan, Remus') protests, James and Sirius were determined to drag the Marauders on a camping trip.

"Sirius, that's mad, you can't go camping in the Forbidden Forest," Remus said exasperatedly.

"Not alone. That's why we're turning it into a family trip," Sirius said eagerly. "You, James, and Peter are going to keep me from doing something stupid."

"Don't count on my help!" James called from across the room.

"Well, then it's just you and Peter stopping me forming doing something stupid," Sirius said.

"Like trying to camp in the Forbidden Forest?" Remus asked dryly.

"Exactly. Oi, James, did you pack my toothbrush?"

"We're not packing yet, we have to wait until exams are over before going," James said.

"Oh, right. When are we starting packing?"

"I just told you, after exams," James repeated.

"And speaking of exams, I thought you were supposed to be studying," Remus said.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"Bugger."

To the dismay of Hogwarts, June came, and with it, exams.

"Two hours for History of Magic?" James was looking at the exam schedule with dismay. "Then Potions?"

"At least it's not an O.W.L," Peter said. "That would be even worse."

"With History of Magic first, I would definitely fail Potions, I'd be bored out of my mind," Sirius agreed. "I'll still fail Potions, but at least they're not important tests like that."

"Yeah," James said.

"They're still important, even if they're not O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s," Remus insisted.

"Sure, mate," James said.

With the exceptions of the obvious boredom and stress that came with exams, the week of testing passed smoothly.

This left the majority of Hogwarts students outside, enjoying the warm breeze and watching the Giant Squid gilde lazily across the lake, soaking in the sunshine.

With everyone inside, no one noticed the Marauders slip into the Room of Requirement carrying empty bags.

"We need a tent, sleeping bags, there are pillows in the dorm, we can get s'mores stuff from the kitchens…."

As Sirius listed off items, they appeared in the room one by one. He paused.

"What else do we need?"

"Maybe blankets," James said. "And dry wood."

"There'll be wood in the forest," Peter said.

"Just in case."

A few dry logs materialized in the center of the room, a stack of blankets atop them.

"Right, start filling the bags," James said.

The four boys broke off and began stuffing blankets, sleeping bags, and wood into bags.

"We're not missing anything, right?" Sirius checked.

"Some sanity?" Remus offered. "Maybe a realization the camping in the Forbidden Forest is not a good idea?"

"I don't think so," James said.

"Come on, Remus, we're going to have fun!" Sirius said enthusiastically. "And don't give me that, you're coming, even if we have to drag you there."

"We're not going to have fun if we don't have s'mores," Peter said. "We've still got to stop in the kitchens and get the stuff for those, then we need to stop back at the dorm to grab the pillows."

"Good point, let's go," James said.

"Wait-" Sirius was attempting to pick up the package with the tent, without much success. "I can't get a good grip on this thing-"

Remus pulled his wand from his pocket, pointed it at the tent, and said, " _Wingardium Leviosa_."

The tent package rose a few feet into the air, Sirius clinging to it.

"Nevermind, I got it!" he said.

James laughed. "You're floating a foot above the ground, how do you 'got it?'"

"I'm multitasking," Sirius said. "I'm floating and carrying the tent."

"Technically, I'm carrying you and the tent," Remus said.

"No," Sirius said. "I'm floating because I felt like it."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes-"

"Do you want to finish packing or not?" James interrupted.

It took another hour, but eventually they were packed. By then, the sun had begun to set, and people were clearing from the grounds for a later dinner.

"We have everything?" James repeated for the tenth time. "Everything's in a bag?"

"Of course, we do, let's just go already!" Sirius whined.

"We should wait for the grounds to clear," Remus said.

"If we do that, it'll be dark. I'd prefer to wander through the forest when it's not pitch black," Sirius said.

"Alright, fine," Remus sighed. "But it's your fault if we get caught."

"We won't get caught," Sirius said.

Surprisingly, Sirius was right. They made it into the forest without being spotted, shouldering backed bags with the tent levitating silently behind them.

The boys walked on for a while with James in the lead, followed closely by Sirius. Remus and Peter were more hesitant, warily noting the dimming light.

As they ventured farther into the thick trees, squinting into the darkness, there was a yelp.

"Ouch!"

"James, that was my foot!"

"Sorry!"

"What happened?"

"I ran into something, probably a tree. Hold on, _lumos_."

A dazzling light flickered at the tip of James' wand.

The other boys blinked as their eyes adjusted to the sudden light.

"Yeah, it was a tree," James said, rubbing his forehead.

Sirius looked around. "Hey, we should set up camp here!" he said.

Remus hesitated. "I don't know, it's pretty…." He paused, looking for a word. "...Tree-ey."

It was true; the trees were extremely thick and clustered where they stood, leaving no room for a tent.

"Tree-ey?" James said. "Is that even a word?"

"Well, no, but we can't camp here," Remus said. "Maybe we should head back-"

"Absolutely not! We're going forward, it's decided!" Sirius said.

"I think the trees aren't as close together back that way," Peter said, pointing in the direction they had come from.

"Nice try. James, let's move out!"

"Peter has a point," James said. "We could head back that way to camp-"

"James, how could you?"

"Sirius, how could I not?"

"We have to do a majority vote first," Sirius said. "Remus, Peter, if you don't vote that we continue on, I'll do… well, I don't really know what, but I'll do something to you. Yeah."

"All those in favor of camping Sirius' way," James said.

Sirius raised both his hands.

"All those in favor of camping Peter's way."

Peter, Remus, and James raised their hands.

"It's settled," Remus said lightly.

"Sorry, mate," James shrugged apologetically.

Sirius gave him an unhappy look.

"Right. That way it is," James said. He turned and began walking.

"That's the wrong way," Peter said.

"Oh," James said, stopping. "Yeah, I knew that."

The Marauders set off again, this time heading in the right direction. After about ten minutes of weaving through trees by wandlight, James gave a call of, "Found it!"

"Brilliant, let's get set up," Sirius said, giving his wand a flick.

The levitated tent fell to the ground with a dull thud.

"Sirius!" Remus said quietly. "We've got to be quiet, we don't want to attract anything-"

"Like what?" Sirius asked. "That was only a rumor that there was a colony of ancromantacula here, and I'm betting you're the only one with a furry little problem for miles-"

"And if we don't bother the centaurs, they won't bother us, probably," James added.

Remus tried to protest. "Still-"

"Okay. Let's figure this thing out. Have any of you ever camped before?" Sirius said. He unzipped the bag the tent was in and shook it out, watching as a bundle of green cloth fell to the crowned with a clatter.

"Once," Peter said. "It was a while ago, I went with an uncle."

"Brilliant," James said. "How does this thing work?"

"Well, there should be a bunch of poles that you use to get it to stand up- yeah, those. And then there should be a flap of some sort about here…."

It took awhile to set up the tent. When they had at last managed to make it stand up, it was crooked on one side, which James insisted on fixing.

After the tent was set up at a questionable angle, preparations were made for the night.

"Alright, Remus, you and James start setting up inside the tent, Peter, you're helping me get the s'mores done," Sirius said.

James and Remus grabbed a few of the bags and lugged them into the tent.

"Wait, we need that wood!" Peter said, hurrying after them. "And the stuff for s'mores!"

"Oh, right. I think the wood and stuff is in this one," James said. He popped his head out from the tent's flap, holding a heavy bag.

"Right," Peter said, grabbing the bag. He turned and went to where Sirius was planning to set up the fire pit.

"Maybe we shouldn't be lighting a fire in the middle of a forest," Remus said from the tent.

"It's fine, I have a plan," Sirius said.

"I think that's why he's worried," James remarked, then stepped back into the tent.

It didn't take long to get the fire going, fortunately without burning anything down… yet.

"Well," Sirius said. "I think when people sit around campfires they sing songs."

"Yeah," Peter said, "or-"

"I think we should sing that one about the bowtruckles-"

"Please no," Remus said.

"What about the one with-"

"Or," Peter said, "people tell stories."

"Or," James said, "They just eat their s'mores."

"We haven't even roasted our s'mores," Remus said.

"Good point- who has the marshmallows?"

"They're sitting behind you, James."

"Oh, right."

Sirius snatched the package from James, tore it open, and popped a marshmallow in his mouth.

"Those are for the s'mores," Peter said.

"And the s'mores go into my mouth," Sirius said.

"Pass a marshmallow," James said.

Sirius complied.

"Here's some sticks for the roasting." Remus passed the others each a long stick for their marshmallows.

The roasting began, the boys laughing and joking around all the while.

"You know what?" Sirius said. "You can't have ran through a campsite, you know why? Because it's past-tents."

The pun was met by deadpan expressions.

" _Past-tents_ , get it?"

"That's even worse than 'I'm always Sirius,'" James said.

There was a moment of silence before the four began to laugh.

That was the only sound besides the rustling leaves, but those were far above them. They, if only for a brief moment, were the only thing that mattered there, in the forest, under the leaves and stars….

They laughed until James said, "Tell you what, mate, we'll get you a new arsenal of puns."

"A new arsenal? Sounds good," Sirius grinned.

"Oh no," Remus said. "Now we're going to be stuck with bad puns for the whole of next year."

"Not just next year," Sirius said, still grinning. "The rest of Hogwarts, and everything after."

"That's worse," Peter said.

"Maybe for you, but better for me. When we get back to the castle, we're having a full-out Marauder lock in. Then we'll come up with the puns."

"Isn't this a Marauder lock in?"

"Peter, you're right! We've got to get started now!"

"Why'd you have to say that?" Remus asked exasperatedly.

"Because it's true. Now come on, let's get started!"


	39. To Platform Nine and Three Quarters

The next morning the Marauders woke early.

Or rather, Sirius woke early and shook everyone else awake.

"Everyone up!" he said loudly. "Everyone get up, we have places to be-!"

"I was trying to sleep," James grumbled.

"And I was trying to sleep the day Marlene McKinnon stole your glasses, but you woke me up anyway," Sirius said. Then he resumed trying to wake the others. "Oi, Remus, Peter, get up!"

"Why?" Peter asked sleepily.

"Because we forgot to pack stuff for breakfast, and we're out of our s'mores stuff."

"You want to head to breakfast?"

"Well, I think we missed breakfast, but there's still the kitchens."

"Alright, I'm getting up."

"Brilliant. Oi, Remus! We're waiting on you!"

"I'm up," Remus said.

"You're still laying down," Sirius pointed out.

Remus sighed. "That wasn't supposed to be taken literally-"

"When you get up we should repack the tent and stuff. And make sure that the campfire didn't start the forest on fire."

"Make sure it didn't start the forest on fire? You said you were going to put it out!"

"I forgot the incantation to conjure water, but I don't think anything's on fire," Sirius said hastily.

"Nothing's on fire!" James called from outside the tent.

"There you go," Sirius nodded.

It took about twice as long as it had taken to take down the tent as it had to set it up. The mass of fabric and poles wouldn't fit back inside the bag, which led to a bit of cussing from Sirius and James.

"This bloody tent!" James muttered. "Why can't it just fit back into the bag?"

"I don't know," Peter said.

"If it won't go back in, we'll have to carry it back in pieces," Remus said.

"I'm not carrying that tarp," Sirius said.

"Carry a bunch of the poles then." Remus dropped a stack of the pliable poles into Sirius' empty hands, then began attempting to fold the fabric part of the tent.

Ten minutes later, the boys were ready to go, headed on the direction of Hogwarts.

"This is the right way, right?" Peter checked nervously.

"Yeah, we passed that tree over there yesterday," James said confidently.

"The trees all look exactly the same," Remus pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but we passed that exact tree. Probably," James shrugged.

"James knows what he's doing," Sirius said. "Probably. But mate, if we get lost or killed or kidnapped, it's your fault."

"We're not going to be attacked, and I know where we are," James said.

The trees began to thin out, and if you looked up, the ocean-blue sky was suddenly visible.

They walked for a few more minutes before the trees stopped completely, revealing Hogwarts castle.

James smirked at the other three. "Told you," he said.

"Fine, you win," Sirius said.

"And you know what? We're weren't kidnapped by centaurs or acromantaculas," James said brightly.

"Let's just get this stuff back to the dorm before we get caught," Remus sighed.

They were caught just outside of Gryffindor Tower.

"What did you four do this time?"

The Marauders whirled around to see Hestia Jones looked at them and their camping gear apprehensively.

"Nothing," Sirius said.

"Nothing," Peter repeated.

Remus hesitated. "Er…."

"We went on a camping trip," James said.

"What?" Hestia said. "Where?"

"Nowhere," Peter said.

"The Forbidden Forest," Sirius said, giving up his role of innocence.

"You four are idiots," Hestia said, shaking her head.

"We excel at it," James grinned.

"You don't need to tell remind anyone of that," Hestia said. She made to leave.

"Oi, Jones!" Sirius called after her. "If you could refrain from telling people, that would be great!"

"If you tell anyone we'll put you in the Marauder hit-list," James added.

"Alright, I won't tell anyone," Hestia said. "Now if you don't mind, I've got to go see Alice, Marlene, and Lily, we had plans…."

The Marauders hurried to the portrait.

"Where on Earth did you get all of that?" the portrait asked, eyeing the bags the boys were carrying.

"Well," James started, "It's kind of a long story-"

"Erinaceous," Remus told the portrait.

The portrait gave a small 'humph,' but let the boys into the tower nonetheless.

They lugged their bags through the Common Room, earning confused and nervous glances from the few people that were in there.

Once inside the dorm, Sirius dropped the poles and bags he was carrying. "Done."

Peter, James, and Remus were right behind him.

"We'll need to bring that back to the Room of Require later," Remus said.

"Yeah. But breakfast first. To the kitchens!" Sirius declared.

The house elves had been more than happy to give the boys breakfast, which they took with them out onto the grounds, enjoying the sunlight and warm breeze.

"Wait, James said suddenly, toast pausing inches from his mouth. "Tomorrow's the last day- we don't have a prank planned!"

Sirius looked horrified. "We don't! We've got to pull something together."

"Like what?" Peter asked.

"I don't know. James, Remus, any ideas?"

"No…" James said slowly.

"Well…" Remus said. "I might have an idea…."

"Remus, you public menace, I knew we could count on you!" Sirius said. "What's the plan?"

The prank was set for after the End of Term Feast, out in the main corridor. It would be brilliant, as far as the Marauders were concerned. First, however, they had to get through the feast.

"Another year has finished," Dumbledore said to the Great Hall. "A good year, I think, for the most part. Between your growth made academically and the fun you've had, I think this year turned out well." He looked fondly around the hall, then his eyes darkened slightly as he continued, "However, I must ask you to be cautious over the summer. As some of you are aware, there have been a number of disappearances and murders- I ask you to keep yourself out of them."

The students shared glances uneasily.

"But," Dumbledore said, cheerfulness resuming, "I hardly think my ominous words have place in this hall for much longer. So, I would like to get to the business of awarding the House Cup. As you can probably tell due to our decor, Hufflepuff has won the House Cup, with five hundred and six points-"

The Hufflepuff table broke out in cheers.

Dumbledore cleared his throat to continue. "In second, we have Gryffindor, with four hundred and seventy points. In third, Slytherin, with four hundred and sixty three points. In fourth, Ravenclaw with four hundred and forty seven points. Well done, Hufflepuff. And now, I won't keep you waiting for any longer. Please enjoy the feast and have a fun, safe, and restful summer."

"That was odd," James commented, helping himself to some potatoes.

"Of course it was- Dumbledore said it," Sirius said. "Pass the chicken."

The End of Term Feast was enjoyable. People were laughing and chatting, enjoying one last meal at Hogwarts.

Despite this, the Marauders were almost happy when it ended. That meant it was time for the prank.

When the last crumbs had vanished from the plates, the students in the Great Hall rose, and still talking, made for the doors.

The Marauders joined the crowd, hiding smirks.

The moment the first person stepped through the threshold, there was a loud pop and shout of surprise.

The crowd of students stopped moving forward, instead choosing to back up.

"Wonder what's going on?" Sirius said, feigning ignorance.

"I haven't the slightest idea," James grinned.

Knowing what to expect, the Marauders looked up.

A dozen or so bubbles were rising over the crowd. Each bubble encased a thoroughly shocked student.

A Slytherin the had been whisked up in one of the bubbles banged on the side of it, unappreciative. The bubble whirled around as the girl lost her valence and fell forward, bobbing about.

"How are we supposed to get out?"

"I don't know!"

"That looks fun- I'm gonna do it!"

"That's a bad idea, Geanne- no, don't just-!"

"Maybe you can jump over it… here, I'll try…."

A sixth year back up, then ran forward, making to leap through the doorway-

It didn't work. He was suddenly in a large bubble of his own, floating upward.

"Hey," he called down, "This is kind of comfortable."

"Now?" Sirius asked, turning to the others.

"Now," James confirmed.

Sirius slid his wand from his pocket and pointed it at the ceiling.

 _The only way out of here is via bubble. Once you get in them, they will pop after an hour._

 _Happy summer!_

 _This prank was brought to you Courtesy of the Marauders._

There were collective groans as people turned towards James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew-"

The Marauders turned to see McGonagall striding toward them.

"It _will_ pop in an hour, Minnie. We tested it," Sirius assured her.

"Mr. Black, quiet please," McGonagall said, "I want you four to stop by the kitchens and have a biscuit while you think about what you've done. If this weren't the last day, you would have a detention. However, it is the last day of school, so I will let it slide- just this once. Understood?"

"Of course, Minnie!" Sirius said happily.

"Thanks, Professor," Remus said.

"Just this once, Mr. Lupin," McGonagall sighed. Then the corners of her lips lifted slightly. "Though if I do suffer any injuries exiting the hall, I will be holding you accountable." With that, she made for the door.

The Marauders stared after her in shock for a moment.

"Well," James said eventually, "Who's up for a bubble ride?"

The next morning, the Marauders made their way to the train station, trunks packed.

They climbed onto the scarlet engine, passing filled compartments until they reached the last one- their own.

"Oi, James, open the window, it's stuffy in here," Sirius said, stowing their trunks above the seats.

James slid the window open, then sat down on one of the benches.

The Hogwarts Express gave a lurch as it began to pull out of the station.

Sirius rushed to the window and called out of it, "Don't forget to write, Minnie!"

Out on the platform, McGonagall gave a half smile and replied, "We'll see, Mr. Black."

James watched the exchange in shock.

"She smiles more often now, doesn't she?" Peter noted.

"Yeah," Remus said.

"Mate," James said, "I reckon that you're not as delusional as we thought you were."

"Thanks," Sirius said. "I always wanted to be called delusional."

"I said 'not as delusional.' It was a compliment!"

They fell quiet as the spires of Hogwarts disappeared in the distance.

"It was a pretty good year, wasn't it?" Remus said thoughtfully.

"It was brilliant," James agreed.

"Yeah," Peter said.

Sirius nodded.

"You know what we need to do over the summer?" James said. "We've got to plan a prank for the Start of Term Feast."

"I don't think that would work," Remus said.

"Don't go all goodie-goodie on us now, Remus," Sirius said.

"Well, you'd have to have a way to set it up before getting to the school," Remus explained, "Or be able to do it right when we get there, but doing it without being noticed while still making it effective wouldn't be easy. It might not even be possible."

"Of course it's possible, we're the Marauders. If anyone can do it, it's us," James said.

They talked happily for another hour or so before a call of, "Anything from the trolley, dears?" was heard.

"Brilliant," James grinned. "I'll grab the beans, you three get the trunk down…."

Sirius, Remus, and Peter began unlodging one of the trunks from above the seats while James poked his head out of their compartment to find the trolley.

"Anything from the trolley, dear?" The witch stopped before the boys' compartment.

Without having to look at the cart, James said, "I'll take two Bertie Bott's and a few chocolate frogs."

"Right away, dear," the witch nodded, passing him the sweets.

James took the chocolate frogs and Bertie Bott's, then passed the witch some money. "Thanks." With that, he slipped inside the compartment.

Back inside, the other three boys had set up the trunk, tipped on its side.

James dumped a box of the Bertie Bott's onto the upward face of the trunk, then the game began.

"Peter, dare you to try the odd creamy speckled one," Sirius said.

"It's… huh, I think this is parchment," Peter said, nibbling on the bean.

"They have a parchment flavored one?" James asked incredulously.

"Of course they do, it's every flavor," Sirius shrugged.

"Remus, the pink one over there," Peter interrupted, pointing.

Remus took the bean and popped it in his mouth. "Rose. James, try the yellow one."

"I think it's corn. Remus, that one on the edge."

"Tripe. Sirius, the red one."

Sirius grabbed the red bean and tossed it in his mouth, then spit it out immediately. "Bloody hell!" he exclaimed, "That was hot!"

"Probably pepper," Peter said.

"Remus, you're not allowed to make me try these anymore, that was terrible," Sirius said seriously. "Does anyone have water?"

The rest of the train ride was uneventful, and all too soon the Hogwarts Express was pulling into the station.

The Marauders looked out at Platform 9 ¾.

"You three had better write," Sirius said, turning to the others. "I'll die cooped up in there without some sort of contact with decent people."

"We can do better than that," James said. "You can come to my place over the summer- you too, Remus and Peter."

"Thanks, mate," Sirius said, visibly relaxing.

The boys grabbed their trunks and lugged them outside onto the platform.

"See you later," Remus said.

"Bye," Peter said.

"Write me as soon as you get home!" Sirius pleaded.

"Alright, I will!" James called over his shoulder.

"Don't prank anyone without me!"

"No promises, sorry mate. You'll just have to come over really soon."

The Marauders turned, each headed in a different direction, all grinning.

It had been a good year.

They just had to wait for the next one.


End file.
